フェニックスの考え

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

the shower is a magical place

i just understood the meaning of life and why religion is so fundamental to human society

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

i was having trouble sleeping (i’ve been struggling with a particularly vicious bit of existential depression) and so i went for a walk at too early in the morning

there’s something about that time, everyone is asleep, the fog was so dense i couldn’t see beyond my immediate surroundings, it felt beautiful, liminal, like i was in a place between places, as i am in my life right now (though my life was changing violently)

and here there was peace

i stood in the gardens outside the art department‘s building and walked around, admired the Sleeping Giant‘s prone iron form (and moreso his ability to sleep), and after an unknown amount of time passed (it could’ve been a couple seconds or a couple hours, time gets strange when the borders between reality begin to break down) i kept walking

did you know the thorny bushes used go hedge of side walks could grow flowers? they’re rare, only one bush had them, and only two it had, they look like little sunflowers except the the petals are vibrant pink and the insides are a bright daffodil yellow, and they smell faintly sweet, like a less aggressive rose

once again i sat there for who knows how long, but day must break eventually, and as the first chirps fall from the trees i make my walk back to my dorm, thinking maybe, just maybe i could bring some of that peace back with me

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

WHY

JUST WHY

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

you’ve heard of hanger

now get ready forrrrrrrrr

HANXIETY

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

bro you‘d think i‘d’ve taken enough psychic damage today to end my misery by now but alas i suffer onwards

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

i just took the bdsm test for the first time in years

i used to be mostly switch, experimentalist, and vanilla (i know it doesn’t make sense, neither do i) and more of a dom

i’m now 100% rope bunny

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

i am thoroughly disturbed by my discovery of vore and moreso by the fact that i've read it in a neil gaiman novel before. like bro there's some weird kinks but ohhhhhhhhh it's so much worse than i could've imagined

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

i was playing uno with my family and my brother, a beefy hairy af football player called my mother a „sussy baka“ and then proceeded to sing his heart out to morgan wallen. this may not quite be the worst timeline but it is certainly the most timeline of all time

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

okay so my gf and i were trying to play mario online but her wifi sucks

normally that’s okay it’s not a huge deal

we were playing the one that flips the ground when you jump

we died sooooo many times

got a game over kept going

but we kept jumping when we didn’t want to or not jumping when we needed to

simply FUCK THIS

we gave up and went to play mariokart instead

AND IT WORKED FINE

like wtf dude does her internet just hate platforming games?

or maybe it’s just her mum possessing the tv

„NO GAMES!

oh. yeah mariokart is good“

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

dudes i just took some language placement tests for my university

i tested out of all of spanish, the bottom half of italian, and the beginner german class

i’m only fluent in english spanish and bitchese but by the power of the green owl‘s tongue i say fick dich en tu chingada merda di la puttana motherfucking expensive-ass classes

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

my white southern christian mum tried to tell me what the point of being trans was

we then ended up talking about how we’re ready to start a war if they keep coming for our rights post the overturn of roe v wade

she doesn’t always get it but she’s got the spirit

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

okay but car trips when you‘re out do be kinda crazy though

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

OKAY QUESTION

I‘M A BABY QUEER

i wanna go to pride this year

is there anything i should know as someone who is a complete idiot and lives in the bible belt‘s buckle?

ALSO

happy pride motherfuckers 😁😁😁

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

dude i just outed myself at a fucking jimmy johns

i live in the buckle of the bible belt

i’m 70% out though and it was kinda euphoric that my natural response was she/they but fuck dude i‘ma get myself 2nd amendmented

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

i started hormones right when the summer hit. it‘s literally just barely been 14 days but my titties are already popping and idk if it’s because i‘m getting fat or the titty skittles are just working that fast

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

my girlfriend and i have a game we like to call „are they a twink or a lesbian“

we had two today

one was a lesbian

we’re still not sure on the other

[phoenyxofthecoldmountain]

bro it took so fucking long to decide what i wanted this blog to be

i still have no idea