While passing through life, you might notice that there are other humans also passing through life themselves, as much as I try to keep my distance from them, I fail to perfectly avoid them, since, unfortunately, they're everywhere! Each one of them with a sphere of their own perceptions, bestowing a sense of centralized existence, where other humans are auxiliaries in their world. This is nicely portrayed when I simply perceive them merely as 2 dimensional objects that are either too beautiful or too convenient that must be captured with a suitable background. Their role rarely exceed that in my world :D Of course my previous writings are meant to be taken cynically. After all you're not going to be defined by the words of an auxiliary person in your world, or are you?
We are born frail and helpless, brought into a strange world we don't understand.
We begin our childhood phase, oblivious to the challenges ahead, but enthusiastic to explore.
Soon our bodies begin to change, and a rush of hormones and emotions fill us with melancholy, a sense of isolation so alienating; we rebel… We rebel until we find ourselves lost in the vast new world we thought we understood.
We search for the purpose, for a reason to embark on our mature journeys, but we either end up conceding to the mundane routine or we breakthrough the system and leave our mark.
Nearing the end of it, the journey finally becomes clear, the fragility of us going blindly through the phases, admitting that we were never really in control.
We find peace and quiet and let fragility consume us until we completely succumb to our destiny.
But through it all, one thing will keep me wanting to go home, one thing will keep me going. I share my fragility with you, and we will flow through it all, for we shall experience our destinies together, as one.
A drift away from "normality" gives a better understanding on how uniformly conformed the society is.
Everyday we suppress our random thoughts and behavior in order to align ourselves with the expectations of how to behave; A thin spectrum of acts that is considered to be appropriate. I can't deny that this is somehow necessary, but when conformation deprives the individual from any genuine opinion or critical thinking then this is when we can fall victim to mass control and slip into obedience.
Especially that the outlets that project what's normal (media, pop culture, etc.) can be easily manipulated by a certain few.
She paused briefly, trying to figure out where to look, so I told her something silly that made her smile innocently, and took a photo of what appears to be a crack through her social act.
I then concluded to myself:
Maybe it's ok to wear our social mask, as long as we never allow it to influence our true abnormal selves.
From far away land, he embarked on a journey to a better future, a journey that he hoped will fill his curiosity with many adventures. He wanted to give a new meaning to a world that seemed to lose the spark it once had. He wanted to embrace all the opportunities he could find, and search for a new beginning, a fresh start.
Once again, he has outgrown this new city that once embraced him, he keeps on moving on, he won’t settle, he won’t give up. On to another place, on to another adventure, he roams like a free bird, spreading his wings hoping that the world will embrace his biggest dreams.
My journey continues as it passes through steep hills made of choices that keep altering my way ahead, tricky rivers made of mistakes that could have drowned me forever had there been no friend-ships made out of hope that kept saving me from getting lost in the currents of regret. Passing through green pastures glowing under the golden sun which keeps hiding behind milky clouds, creating a shadowy scenery of lights over the rich soil of love.
But sometimes it gets dark, and the way ahead becomes silver-like and fades away under the cloud veiling moon lights, Shadows then begin to over-lay the soft waters that used to be twinkling like Christmas tree lights, and heavy rain starts to burden my journey as it shivers my feelings of love, and I become heartless, as the cold wind starts creeping into my bones like a vampire thirsting for more. Life then seems to wither and fade away as I progress deeper into a darker night, a night that knows no dawn, nor has it seen her beautiful smile. And I become all alone, facing this world on my own, waiting for the golden sun to rise once more, and shine upon the green pastures that died for too long.
Where am I now in this journey of mine? I feel as if I got lost, but actually I don't mind. Beauty lies within discovering the unknown, even though I'm gonna have to do it alone, but I shall be strong for I'm gonna find my way home, and achieve the goals I've searched for for too long. Then I'll finally be ready to die, and leave my friends behind, those who helped me out, whom I couldn't have made it without, and those who made it hard, but helped me guide my heart. I shall thank you all for that, for you have made my journey look alive. There's only one way now, which is the road to awe, beyond that I can see no more, and this journey of mine will have its turn, into a brand new world that knows neither limits nor laws, and holds so many wonders, grace and love. But how my journey then will unfold, I do not yet know. Shall I continue this journey forever more? And have immortality in that world? I cannot bare living this long. I just want my journey to rest and be gone, into a silent land that knows no sound, into a dark oblivion with neither fear nor love. I want to rest my soul, and travel all the way home. Cause "forever" is a word that can never be known; it holds so much weight on my thoughts and bares a heavy load.
So dear soul, I'm heading home, where you'll travel no more, heading beyond death, beyond heaven and hell, into oblivion I shall go, into nonexistence I shall return once more.
My journey will continue into worlds I have not known, but I hope someday it will return to where it once were... -Home-... which is not being anymore.
Expressing our inner thoughts and emotions is at the core of creating art.
Art is the reflection of the wonders happening inside us; of thoughts, feelings, desires, and the mystery of our being.
Art surpasses the materials that constitutes it; we never admire merely the colors of a painting or the words of a poem, but rather the overarching experience achieved when trying to understand the message behind the work of art. It is an attempt of a self-aware entity to express a fraction of the world residing within it, and by doing so they try to better understand themselves through their work, by looking at a reflection of their inner selves. Art lets them leave a fingerprint on the physical world that will carry their spirit through time.
It’s an immortal demonstration of what happened when a consciousness, even for a second, expressed itself to the world.
She sat peacefully by the window knowing very well that I’m about to disturb her thoughts.
I wondered about what Heaven meant to her. She told me she was disappointed by the collective notion of Heaven held by many people she met.
For her; heaven was freedom, freedom to be whoever she dreamed of being, freedom from the constraints of our society and the limitations of our bodies.
She wanted to fly with the birds, smell the flowers in the thickest forests. She wanted to swim in the depths of the oceans, and connect with everything that ever lived on earth. She wanted the freedom to roam outer space, to touch the valleys of the moon, to admire the mystic colors of a nebula from well within. She wanted to be free from time, to explore the evolution of our kind, to witness the ages unfold before her eyes.
Heaven, to her, was down here on Earth! It was everything the universe has to offer that she couldn’t reach or fathom.
Another day without her, another sleepless night, and he still feels her flowing in his bloodstream, thinking she might have gotten under his skin.
He lays in bed with thoughts of her playing in his head, and images of her innocent smile keep him awake, wondering if he will ever see her again.
Memories of them are slowly fading away, while he yearns to relive them again, he concedes it’s time to let them fade away; it’s time to let her smile and hazel eyes fade into his subconsciousness, it’s time to let go of the warm feeling he had in his heart each time he felt her gentle touch, each time their lips swiftly locked, each time they temporarily became one.
The more he tries to hold on to those memories, the more toxic they start to feel. So he still got miles to go before he sleeps, he still got miles to go before they disappear.
He can’t help but let fading memories of her steal away his sleep, he can’t but keep thinking that she was too perfect to be real.
Our thought process always amazes me, that subtle voice in our head that accompany us throughout life. It tells us what we want for breakfast, it overthinks about what our crush meant by merely saying “Your hair looks nice today” and of course, it’s the voice that elaborates endlessly on future scenarios when we daydream…
Is this who we truly are? That subtle voice? If so, then who’s the one listening to it? Experiencing all of this?
The secret of Consciousness will forever elude us, for it is the greatest mystery of the Universe, yet it plainly exists in every one of us! I got to see a glimpse of that mystery when gazing into her eyes, I have felt -even if only slightly- a part of the complex world of thoughts and emotions residing inside of her.
Her eyes were a portal to the same mystery that we all share.
At the end of a long summer day, as the sun casts its last fading rays, and the warm wind starts shifting into a steady cooler phase. I stand on top of an abandoned building wandering far into my messy random thoughts. I feel the aliveness of this concrete city, I feel the soft energy of this mesmerizing sunset, creating every hue of orange my eye can perceive, saturating my senses into blindness.
I wonder about how I can even wonder; this mystery itself gives me endless hope, it gives me confidence of our potential to shape our lives, to perceive it the way we want. To give it as much meaning as we have found in ourselves, for life is merely a reflection of our inner selves.
She folds the words she just wrote on an evenly torn piece of paper, and hands it to me silently with a hopeful gentle smile. Hoping that her messy thoughts will somehow make sense to me.
Golden days are so far away, and there’s black rain up above, I walk my path following a trail; dark as night, cold as ice, I walk astray, I breathe in dread.
As lost as I am, as broken as I become, I glance her light passing by, shining through the darkness of my night, melting the icy steps ahead in sight.
She takes my hand, and guides my way, leading my soul dwelling in despair, and smiles, as she pulls it away, she smiles, and gives me back my golden days.
She moves like the wind, and floats away, far from reach, ever close to recede.
Like a dream, very unreal, I try to wake up, but realize she’s actually real. Her eyes glaring through mine, seeing right through my act.
I surrender myself to her, and embrace her right into my heart.
She elaborately becomes… The Queen of my heart.
Model: Alice
Location: An apartment in a communist bloc in the heart of Bulgaria!
It was a very quiet place, the sounds of the waves echoed, splashing gently against the rocks. I asked him “Do you come here often?” he replied “Not as often as I’d like, this place gives me strength to continue my life journey”
He then turned his head and looked at the setting sun with keen eyes, his mind wandering off somewhere else, then he explained further:
When one’s mind is at peace one should contemplate about the very essence of his existence, a self-conscious entity questioning its origin and purpose is always defying its limits. Crossing beyond self-realization and not dreading to even step further into a realm of meta-physical existence is the key to serenity.
This certainly is paradoxical, but yet, isn’t “The words of truth are always paradoxical”? -Lao Tzu
Finding serenity in the perils of doubting our own mental-construct of reality proves that this dreadful practice pushes and breaks our set limits, placing us one step closer to Freedom.
“What got you into photography?” She asked casually to start a small talk.
I don’t exactly know when this passion started but I always had a desire to capture the extraordinary jaw-dropping ‘life-tape’ that keeps unfolding all around us, to freeze chosen instants from it and make them mine, make them last an eternity. This made me vigilant, searching for beauty everywhere, and paying attention to details. Photography changed the way I look at the world, I no longer take its infinite creativity for granted; I appreciate it. I’ve come to realize that photography doesn’t start by taking the photo; it ends there. Photography is the pursuit of that photo, the pursuit for the perfect moment, the pursuit of harmony in lights, objects and composition, and finally to frame them in your own style, to deliver your very own message; an instant from the life-tape that will last forever…
She interrupted me saying “OK, are you gonna take some photos now, or are you gonna keep babbling about the pursuit forever?”
“Oh, sorry” I replied, coming back to my senses “why are you on the ground by the way” I wondered.
“Well I got tired listening to your monologue” she exhaled
“never mind, this might even be better. Ok! Give me half a smile and look sexy”
*Shutter sound clicks*
I followed her into a land of pristine beauty and raw nature, she took me places that inspired my adventurous soul, moving from one location to another, in a country that simply took my breath away.
Driving on curved roads through thick forests, pausing at a vista of colliding mountains with snow-covered tips, taking a swim in a natural lake at the heart of nature, and going hiking for a day with nice company I just met...
I followed her into an adventure of her own making, an adventure that sparked my desire to travel, wander, and explore the Earth. I now owe my adventures to her.
A shout of gratitude to the girl that ignited the wanderlust in me.
You opened my eyes to another way of living.
“Isn’t it wonderful how death can be so beautiful sometimes?” She said while admiring the fresh grass filled with dying crunchy leaves. I stayed silent, as she continued saying “not only it creates a colorful scene, but it also makes room for new fresh leaves to grow” I interrupted and said “It creates room for life to flourish and start again. Death is an act of creation, an essential part for the continuation of life” she nodded and playfully crushed one of the frail leaves “It removes the old, and makes room for the new”
A choice had to be made, she took a deep breath and looked at the fading sunrise over the withered city, and whispered to herself: “I can do this!” gentle wind rushed through her hair as she looked up, her determined eyes gave me a chill, I was certain that she’s about to embark on a life changing experience. She turned around and looked me in the eye “This is it now, I’m sorry that I made u go through this, but I had to” I stood motionless and speechless, I closed my eyes for a second thinking about what’s to come, but when I opened them, she was gone…
