will probably be my last post for this blog.
I know I didn’t use this blog a lot, but I’m losing interest in my other Tumblr blogs as well. They’ll still be up, but everything has to end at some point. I can’t believe I still have this blog since high school. Honestly. I always feel like I have to say I hate high school, I didn’t go to prom or any of that senior week bullshit, and I didn’t go to the graduation. It’s just a time I’d rather forget. But I’m not going to get into it anymore because it’s not important.
Let’s start April 2018. The weekend leading into the last week/finals week of the academic semester. I made a Tinder at ~2AM Sunday Morning somewhere on the Smith campus. I’d never thought I’d actually go through with the idea but I guess it’s the only way to get into dating. I swipe until all my 100 swipes were used up. I was using it on my laptop because I have bad directionality on the phone, and it’s kind of like a video game when you use it on the computer. Try it sometime.
The following day, I got some matches. It made me realised that there are people who want to date me, since I haven’t been on a date ever, never had a kiss, nothing. I was lagging behind my peers.. but maybe I’m not all that useless and hopeless ? Well, at 4AM on Monday Morning, I was just going to log out but accidentally deleted my account. And I had to make everything from scratch again. Fuck. I walk back to my dorm from the library, feeling defeated because I was stupid. I wanted to make one again but didn’t want people to get pissed off at me. I kept up playing with the idea, and when my friends were making plans with their partners to procrastinate on finals, I wished I had a date or some shit. Sometime during finals week, I had a meeting with the Dean Of Students. I told her I made a Tinder.. she’s married and all.. I think I made her a little comfortable :’) Finals come and go, summer starts, I leave the US for a month.
I come back to the US, I get myself a used Toy Machine skateboard on Ebay for 50$ and learn how to skateboard. I’ve wanted a longboard ever since I started college but kept putting off the idea. Skateboards were cheaper, smaller, and there isn’t anything you can’t do on a skateboard that you could do on a longboard. I make a new Tinder, use Chrome developer tools to set my location to Boston because fuck this white suburban town I’m in. Had some conversations which ended up with the other person ghosting me.
I decided to talk with this girl I matched with 5 days earlier. She went to Wellesley College. After my first message, she said that we had a lot in common. Personality wise, certainly. Some slightly different interests and majors, but damn. That week that we started talking was the same week we planned a date. I wanted to try her pennyboard, she wanted to try my skateboard. We agreed to meet at a park in the city.
The day comes. I wake up at 6AM, nervous as fuck. The train departs 11AM. I skated around my streets for a bit to kill time. I organised my room until I had to get to the train station. The whole train ride, my thoughts are everywhere. This is my first fucking date ever. At 21 years old. We meet up, and wow. She was pretty. We skated while talking about our lives. I tried her pennyboard. It was hard to get my footing right because my skateboard is much wider, and there’s no griptape. That shit actually makes a difference. The trucks on her board were tight while she’s saying that mine were pretty loose, heheheh. I could not turn on her board. I tried to manual on her pennyboard while I couldn’t even manual on my own board. Well, I made a fool of myself by landing right on my ass :) Then we both tried to do an ollie. Unsuccessful, but still pretty fun.
We went to eat at a Chinese restaurant. Scallion pancakes, fried dumplings, juicy pork buns, milk tea. That was our order. Conversation went from school days to true crime to philosophy to memes. It was so much food. We skated to the train station, and she had to go. I skated around the park for a bit then these skater guys invited me to join their group. It was a fun day, and I instantly fell asleep when I went home.
She never replied to my message. So there was no second date. It’s been a month now. It’s okay. That was a perfect first date though, and I guess my friends are jealous how fun it was.
I went on my second date ever on Monday. It didn’t go well; I was late because it was a busy day with some baseball game and wrestling match. Subways were crowded. The ice cream sucked, and it was expensive. We walked and talked aimlessly until we decided to rest at the park. Same park as last date. She refused my snack gifts :( and then had to go to a bar or something. Plus, she didn’t want to get on my skateboard even though she has a longboard, claiming that skateboarding is harder than longboarding. I don’t know, but I was upset when she left. Snapchatted some derogatory statement about the date to my three closet friends, they all responded. I went to my friends’ usual skate spot at the park and met a cool guy who got me to do my first ollie. Things weren’t a complete disaster.
What I hate is how I keep reminiscing about the first date. How perfect everything was. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, everyday I still think about it in some way. It’s unhealthy, but.. I don’t know. When things don’t go well, you compare it to a better time.
And I just came back from my third date. Wow, two dates in the same week. This was actually a pretty fun date. This girl, she got a new skateboard, T H I C C griptape, cruiser wheels, Independent trucks, a great setup honestly. Much better than mine. We skated around a street that was closed off for Sunday, talked about our lives. It turns out we had similar personalities. It’s only been a week since she started skating, and she’s so much better than me: better pushes, more brave, just everything. Still, while I travelled to see this girl, I was just hoping I’d encounter the first date girl by chance. I am just so fucking pathetic. But.. this date did make me not want to compare things. After skating for a while, I brought her and myself some coffee. When she left, she gave me a hug then said “I’d kiss you, but you’re sick.” I only want a second date planned.
Honestly. I just made this post for myself. I don’t know who will read this. This Tumblr will be a personal archive of mine. It’s good to take a trip down memory lane from time to time. Looking back at some personal text posts, I guess you could conclude I’ve changed a whole lot. To my future self, I don’t know if you cringed or smiled upon finishing reading this. And I don’t know where you’ll be in life. I just hope you’re not using Tinder or any online dating app anymore. Your first date was at 21 years old, going into your final year of college. Just don’t forget it.. but for the love of god, stop reminiscing over it. Hopefully you’ve had better and more memorable dates/relationships at the moment you’re reading this. And perhaps your ollies are good and high, your pushes aggressive, your running starts a second nature, and hill bombing is fun and not scary.
prguitarman
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
stormborns
dededos
andulkaphoto
pixelskylines
gummygunk
