[phrasedwithout]

i think i give up

and i know i'll say it again

[phrasedwithout]

i am horribly afraid of being left behind

so i try to stay blind to the fact that i am

if i cut myself down, and do it now

will anyone turn around to see me collapse?

[phrasedwithout]

i dont persist

because i can't exist

and when i do

you delete me

[ymutate]

Mildred Anne Butler (Irish, 1858–1941)

"Shades of Evening", 1904.

Watercolor on Paper, 97.5 × 65 cm.

National Gallery of Ireland.

[phrasedwithout]

i'm not supposed to feel this bad

i did so much! why can't i sleep?

productivity brings me nothing

i need a product that forces rest

rest my aching soul

and rest my body

i need to halt my consciousness

else i'll rid it prematurely

[phrasedwithout]

i will have to open up inevitably

but i know the consequences i fear

i will weld my teeth together and glue my lips shut

and no one will hear anything but a melancholic hum

[phrasedwithout]

the world is so beautiful at the moment

and I don't appreciate it

to a degree that it deserves

or one that I need

running, walking, working

sleeping

in circles

every day

I exhale, but I do not breathe

I cannot see, I only perceive

the taste of stale bread has nested on my tongue

and a familiar dusty itch into my calluses

eating and eating

I carry and shove

my skeletal remains

into a shiny white coffin

my bone turns to dust

that dust turns to soil

maybe now I can smell the slowers

that I perceive every day

[phrasedwithout]

if you have someone to hold

it means that someone can hold you

i don't know anyone that likes being held by me

does that mean i will fall forever?

[phrasedwithout]

the bark folds along the wooden path leading along the crest peak's bay

your skin folds back past the edge of your chest revealing the light that once was inside the chasm in which your heart used to lay

[phrasedwithout]

why are you surprised

when I show that I care

maybe it's the lies

from everyone, everywhere?

your eyelids shudder when I ask you how you feel

but then you say that you are fine

[votummori]

and one day, it’ll be all that’s left of me.

[phrasedwithout]

apologies for a light scratch

loaded silence for open wounds

these bastards swim above, beneath and between us

how come only the small fish smell the blood?

[phrasedwithout]

an article i read

after the final big scene

one to six it said

yet now it's fourteen

if it weren't so nice i would've been over them

if it weren't so painful i could've forgotten

torn between both i clench

held in neverending suspense

[phrasedwithout]

only now that im lying in idyll

do i feel the wound that i carried all year

skin has healed at the edge of the tear

but the hole remains gaping - eight inches deep

it's no wonder my nerves burn

when i hear certain words

my eyes feel dry

i don't know what i seek

i want to fly away - forget it all

whenever i try to sleep

[littlebittletittle]

I'm haunted by my subconscious

With nightmares I won't escape

They're forever trapped inside my bones

It rattles around like old fears

And echos off the walls of my past

Leaving me awake and alone

On a night so dark

Even the shadows wish to escape

[phrasedwithout]

i like to believe

that with enough time

a genuine apology can always fix

most of what it broke

but i wouldn't know

i've never received one

people always feel sorry

but they kill their guilt

[phrasedwithout]

someone please help me

i can't open my mouth

i can't smile or wink

my face has granite within it

i'm afraid that it will sink in

what will become of me