[littlebittletittle]

I know all the lyrics to Blackbird

It was my childhood best friend's favorite song

If I saw her in a coffee shop

I wouldn't say hello

But at 1am when I dance to the Beatles in my kitchen

I think of her humming that tune

And telling me people are loved more than they'll ever know

And maybe she was right

Because I won't ever speak to her again

But I know all the lyrics to Blackbird

[littlebittletittle]

In the time of stars and dust

There was you and me.

Us and the stars.

I know you don't believe the beginning to be this way,

Then why do I see galaxies in you,

And you in the sky?

Why do I feel the need to

Drift into the horizon

With someone as beautiful as you?

If that's not how it was meant to be.

If I wasn't meant to be with you.

[littlebittletittle]

The sun shines and I think of you,

A laugh echos and I think of you,

I learn of romantic poets,

And I think of you.

My light,

My joy,

My muse,

I take a breath, I think of you.

When I'm dead,

And I don't feel the sun,

I can't hear laughter,

I know not of poets,

And I forget oxygen. 

You will be carved unto my bones

They dig up millions of years later.

They won't know my name or face,

But they'll know I love you.

[littlebittletittle]

There's this dream I have,

and in it I walk around dead.

The world moves

but I do not move with it,

like rain through glass.

I wake and it follows me,

a shadow humming in my chest.

Reminding me I was once worth saving.

I suddenly can't remember what it was like--

living.

I know the feeling of being alive.

I know breathing, and walking.

But what was it like to love?

What was it like to speak and smile?

I reach for something I can't name.

A feeling I can't describe,

a house I don't know,

a person I can't replace.

In a way, I hope I'm still in a dream.

[littlebittletittle]

You told me

No love, however brief, is misplaced

And as I watch your shoes walk by

I wonder if you see mine

And I wonder if you remember

All of those nights

I feel a gut wrenching

And I think I misplaced love

Left it on your doorstep

Or maybe in your bed

And I know that's not what you meant

I never really understood you anyway

I liked to twist your words

To squeeze as much meaning as they held

And drink every drop of your voice

You see, I've lost my train of thought

This is what I mean

I often lose what I was meant to keep

I didn't misplace love

I gave it to you

And lost it forever

So when I say I misplaced love

Know it wasn't by accident

My love was misplaced with intent

[littlebittletittle]

The clock ticks away

I count the seconds

I count the days

Theres something weighing on me

The clock ticks by

I'm suffocated with the air I breath in

My throat closes around the words I wished to say

Until they swirl back down to my stomach

The clock ticks by

I wonder of myself

How long does it take

I wonder to myself

If I ripped a hole in my chest

And let everything spill out

I'd feel better than I do now

The clock ticks by

I count the moments and wonder

If all this waiting will someday kill me

[littlebittletittle]

The water washes over me

It ripples on my skin

I can't feel it

I stand in a cluttered bathroom

The light flashes annoyingly

I can't see it

I lay down in wrinkled sheets

Week old McDonald's is on my nightstand

I can't smell it

My mom brings my favorite food

I take one bite before losing my appetite

I can't taste it

Theres many people around me

They talk and tell stories

I can't hear it

A weight in my stomach appears

I fall into an endless pit

Where I can't see or feel

I can't touch or talk

Then I go to sleep

And wake up the next day

[littlebittletittle]

I am happy again

Now I've been smiling

I spend all my time with him

Like I did you

With him I close my eyes

I carress your his face

His hands touch me

Like nails on a chalkboard

But when he kisses me

Your lips are the same shape

With him I feel less empty

As long as I close my eyes

I am happy again

[littlebittletittle]

I can't sleep on that side of my bed

How is it that I own the mattress still

But it feels like you stole it

You stole that half anyway

And when I lay there

I have nightmares

Of you, your eyes, your smile

Everything

I could be wide awake

And have these visions

You haunt my bed

You haunt my sleep

I get no rest

You stole my mattress

[littlebittletittle]

You have this holier than thou complex

You stand on a pedestal

In order to walk on the backs of others

And although I know that

I'm aware of your

Selfish,

Insane,

And tiring methods

I would still bow to you

And let your crush my spine

At least its mine spine you would crush

[littlebittletittle]

I'm sunburnt head to toe

Firery, raging, pulsing burns

Blisters bubble from under my flesh

And yet I feel quite happy

Two weeks pass and the skin peels

It cracks and stings and itches

Its painful, truly painful

But I am at peace

My new layer of skin doesn't know your touch

Youve never felt these thighs

Held these hands

Carressed this face

Its painfully fresh skin

Skin that isn't yours

Skin that's solely mine

And as I shed this layer

I shed our memories

I let go of your hold on me

I let go of you

[littlebittletittle]

There is another world

and in it I am younger

more naive

In this world it's still you and me

I still let myself be hurt by you every morning

I still cry myself to sleep each night

It's not changed or different

And you alone control me

I think of this world, a guilt pleasure

I dream of you, involuntarily

I am happier now

Just a different person

You took all who I was

And dropped her off in another world

[littlebittletittle]

I used to think you walked on water

That your imperfections

would be measured in grains of salt

So tint they can barely be measured

Then I realized you are not holier than thou

Just human

And I found your imperfections

In grains of sand

All over, annoying, stuck to me

ButI still return to the beach each summer

Maybe I should see you that way

Though I don't

You aren't holy

hell I'm not sure you're human

You don't walk on water

You barely walk on earth

Your imperfections now are like galaxies

Infinite and too big to be ignored

[littlebittletittle]

August is the month of love?

I don't know

That's just what you told me

As you held me so tenderly

And as I watch your lips move

With perfect harmony

But here I am stranded in the month of love

Without you by my side

Theres no look in your eyes

No soft touch of your palm

No love for this month

[littlebittletittle]

I've been vindicated

Yet I still think of you

I've won

But my pen strokes still know your name

Is this what victory feels like

If so

I'm sorry you felt this way

Even if it was only for a few months

Or maybe I'm more of a sour winner

Than sour loser

I could take that loss on my chin

As I've learned to do

Or maybe its that winning feels unfair to you

Because I didn't even know

There was a game we were playing

[littlebittletittle]

Am I starting to forget you

Your face

Your life

Our life

Or just us

I can't even draw you

Anymore

I don't remember

When I could

Where I used to see stars

In your eyes

There are only empty spaces

And even those I can't draw

[littlebittletittle]

Did you know we only had one life

Did you realize it

I did

But, you know

if we

didn't

and if every time

every life

this is how we ended

I'd still choose to meet you

Make that life with you

Then we could truly

Live a Shakespeare tragedy

Always ending the same way

I'd write beautiful, historical texts about you

Instead of shitty poetry

Meant for no one to read