Home of a Humanoid Typhoon

[the-muppet-joker]

The Turkey

A Conpletely Original Poem

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I toiled, weak and weary,

On some flimsy fabrics I had purchased from the crafting store;

No one home, resigned a hermit, making hats for me and Kermit

Making pilgrim hats from craft supplies I got from Crafting Store;

hats for us, and no one more

Suddenly, there came a rapping, as if someone had been tapping

Someone faintly knocking, faintly tapping on my freezer door

First I thought, "My God, the turkey?" til I realized, and smirkied

"Baka fool! You bought the bird unfrozen from the grocery store-

Tis some ice, and nothing more."

Still, the tapping did not falter, and I, like lamb unto the altar,

Wandered, frightened, to my slaughter, opening the freezer door --

Where he sat, I did not put him, muppet ass inside the puddin,

Startled bad, I stumbled good and screamed til I couldn't scream no more

Falling down upon the floor.

Feeling stupid, I got up and dusted off my aching butt

From where I tumbled, shrieking, down upon my kitchen floor

"It's just Kermit!" Laughing, wheezing, "How'd you get here? Aren't you freezing?

Did the wife deposite you in here? And scare me to the floor?"

(Please stop rhyming floor with floor)

Suddenly, I did remember, earlier this same November

I had been divorced, she took the kids away a week before.

In my fear, I had forgotten, only now my heart felt rotten

"Will I ever hear her laugh again?" I mumbled, feeling sore

Quoth the muppet,

"Nevermore."

Kermit long had been my lover, still his speech had made me stutter,

Never had I heard him utter undreampt words to me before.

Staring at unmoving felt, I saw the ice began to melt

As in my foolish fright, too long I'd left ajar the freezer door

Taking him, I shut the door.

Wanting something to distract me from my sure overreacting

Imagining I'd heard him speak was surely sign of something more

Surely, hearing Kermit talk had been a message from my Cock

Wanting sweet release within the hole of slutty muppet whore

"I will take him on the floor!"

But as I thrust my meager member, urgently I did remember

Not from sudden thought, but from the cold upon my pores

In the freezer Kermit's hole had now become a deathly cold

Shrivilling my sack as then I screamed until my throat was sore

Then I screamed a little more

"Rotten muppet!" I was seething, "Do you loathe my very being?

Do you wish to further salt my recent wounds?" I did implore.

No reply, and I, in sorrow, realized that come the morrow

I would eat Thanksgiving with a muppet I could bone no more

For my conscience felt impure.

Not my conscience! No, that's bold. Surely it must be the cold

The cold, not guilt from harming wife and son those weeks before

Surely, then, if I can summon something warmer still to cum in,

Then, the guilt will leave and peaceful nights I'll have once more?

Quoth the muppet,

"Nevermore."

"MUPPET!" then I cried, "OR DEMON! TELL ME, WHAT'S THE FUCKING REASON?

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON MOCKING, FREEZING COCK, THERE ON THE FLOOR?"

Though out loud, he didn't respond, I heard his thinking through our bond,

Not an explanation -- a demand from him, a chore.

When I understood, I swore.

Then in his mind, the order spoken, suddenly the fridge did open

Showing, there, the bird that I had purchased from the store

"No," I whispered, vision murky, "I refuse to fuck the turkey,

Wifeless, friendless, godless, still, there's dignity inside my core!"

Quoth the muppet,

"Nevermore."

...

Then,

With reluctance,

I got out

My Jrap On

(Joker Strap On

[irreparableinnocence]

Hey, Tumblr. You like non-stereotypical depictions of autism? What about ✨ neurodivergent protagonists ✨ ? Yes? What about asexual neurodivergent protagonists that go on chapters-long rants about their special interests? You want gay characters that are important to the plot too? Then I've got the book for you! The author is gay!!! American Psycho, by Bret Easton Ellis, is

[ileaveclawmarks]

An interview with Leslie Feinberg appearing in the Oct/Nov 1998 issue of On Our Backs.

Please click on image to read or find the transcript below:

Feinberg and hir activist peers have transformed the landscape of current queer politics: they have introduced "trans" (even into the mission statement of the National Organization for Women) as an umbrella term for transgender and transsexual persons. "Transgender" refers to any person whose gender expression appears at odds with his or ber biological sex, including transvestites, drag queens and kings, intersexed persons, "passing" men and women, feminine men, and masculine women. "Transsexual" refers to men and women who challenge the sex they were assigned at birth, whether they choose sex-reassignment surgery or not. Feminism popularized the distinction between "sex" (as biological sex) and "gender" (as the social expression of masculinity, androgyny, and femininity); the trans movement took this distinction to the streets.

Feinberg and hir activist peers have transformed the landscape of current queer politics: they have introduced "trans" (even into the mission statement of the National Organization for Women) as an umbrella term for transgender and transsexual persons. "Transgender" refers to any person whose gender expression appears at odds with his or ber biological sex, including transvestites, drag queens and kings, intersexed persons, "passing" men and women, feminine men, and masculine women. "Transsexual" refers to men and women who challenge the sex they were assigned at birth, whether they choose sex-reassignment surgery or not. Feminism popularized the distinction between "sex" (as biological sex) and "gender" (as the social expression of masculinity, androgyny, and femininity); the trans movement took this distinction to the streets.

Feinberg discusses her struggle with the health care system in hir new book, Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue. Released in October, Trans Liberation chronicles Feinberg's career as a public speaker and collects the addresses s/he delivered to a variety of groups, from Gay Pride organizers to straight male transvestites. We spoke with Feinberg about why sexual freedom is impossible without freedom of gender expression.

On Our Backs: Trans Liberation was released this fall. Can you tell us about what you're working on now?

Feinberg: I'm deep into a novel titled Drag King Dreams. It's about a working-class, Jewish trans person who has a foot in both the diverse trans communities and also the lesbian, gay, and bi communities. It's a book about figuring out what "home" means and who your people are. I'm also trying to write a fable titled "Tale of Two Hearts." it's really a love song to Minnie Bruce Pratt-my wife, my lover, and my friend. It's just one chorus of the love song I write to Minnie Bruce every day of my life.

On Our Backs: Your relationship with poet Minnie Bruce Pratt, thanks in part to her book S/he, is well known. What is your advice to those of us seeking a long term relationship as loving as yours?

Feinberg: I just know that for me, this is a relationship unlike any other I've ever had. I wasn't looking for a lifetime commitment when I met Minnie Bruce. I°d been dating nonmonogamously for quite a while, nothing serious. Minnie Bruce and I both did a lot of work individually to grow up, get sober and work hard at developing our political consciousness and activism. We were ready for each other. Ready to be loving, to communicate, and to listen.

On Our Backs: Pat Califia once wrote that she wishes there would come a time when we don't pick a sexual partner by his or her gender, but by other criteria, such as whether the person is a top or a bottom. In your ideal world, what would attract people to one another?

Feinberg: It's hard for me to hypothesize. In the world we live in, individuals do organize their preferences around gender expression. But a spectrum of sexuality existed in ancient societies that predated state. sponsored repression of human love. That leads me to think that these preferences might continue to exist in future societies in which no form of sex or gender is outlawed or demeaned. I don't think the problem today is preferences so much as prejudices. For example, I read personal ads in which people say "no druggies or butches need apply." Wow! That's preiudice. If you say in an ad that you're looking for someone feminine or androgynous or some other form of preference. that's very different from saving "no butches." As more and more prejudices are defeated, and in a world freed from divide-and-rule bigotry, people will be freer to explore their preferences about gender and about individuals.

On Our Backs: Do transgendered persons have sexual representation-pornography, erotic fiction, videos made for and by themselves?

Feinberg: Right now, there are many people trying to write erotica that bends gender. And I think it's very important. For many of us, it's very hard, never being able to identify with the sexuality we see everywhere in the dominant culture. [So] it was very important for me to write about sexuality in Stone Butch Blues. In the novel I'm working on now, I've been thinking a lot about how to write about sexuality that's not necessarily masculine or feminine, or gay or straight.

On Our Backs: What do you mean by "sexuality that's not necessarily masculine or feminine"?

Feinberg: I see masculinity and femininity as forms of gender expression. But a person's gender expression doesn't necessarily determine their sexuality. It doesn't determine whether you'll be attracted to someone of a similar gender expression or a dissimilar one. It doesn't mean you'll be sexually aggressive or submissive or both. That's what makes me so angry when I hear people derisively refer to someone as "thinks she's so butch but she rolls over in bed." It's an assumption that masculinity translates into being a top sexually. It limits the range of sexual expression of masculine females. And it's a sexual attack on someone who is, by virtue of their social oppression, already sexually wounded.

On Our Backs: Both sex scenes from Stone Butch Blues were excerpted for collections of lesbian erotica. Did you intend the scenes to be sexually arousing for readers - to be erotica - when you wrote them?

Feinberg: That's such an interesting question. I have to say that when I set out to write the sex scenes, I began to be aware of internalized censorship: "Can I or should I write about this or that?" So I consciously blocked out any thought of readers with this odd mental trick: I told myself that whatever I wrote, I didn't have to publish it. First write it, then decide. By doing that, I discovered that I could write about the kind of sex that i thought was true to the emotional makeup of the characters. If it was erotic for readers, I think it was because I was true to the characters themselves, so the sex was "real," if you know what I mean.

On Our Backs: Can sexuality exist without gender? Or is gender an essential component of sexuality?

Feinberg: Certainly everyone is gendered - quite complexly. And we infuse much of who we are, as gendered people, into our sexuality. But sexuality is so complicated by oppression right now that it's really hard to study it removed from its social soil. Jesse Helms defeated funding for a study that would have backed up much of what Kinsey revealed decades ago: that human sexuality is not two opposite poles- one normal, one not. Sexuality is on a spectrum, and many individuals move along that continuum during their lives. But lesbian, gay, and bisexual love is outlawed in the majority of states in the United States. So how can a truly objective, intensive study of sexuality even be conducted? It's like doing a study on religious beliefs and affiliations during the Nazi regime in Germany. So much of what we will learn about the relationship of gender and desire, as well as unraveling other questions about the matrix of sexuality, will be tied to the victories of our liberation of humanity from oppression altogether.

On Our Backs: In Trans Liberation you wrote about how frustrating it is voting for a two-party system when both parties are backed by big business. Do you vote? Should poor, queer, and trans people even bother voting?

Feinberg: Well, politics is about more than voting. It's also about finding ways to move people to action. In a particular situation, voting on an issue in an election or a candidate could help advance the movement. In general, though, I don't think voting for Republicans or Democrats - both supported by wings of corporate America, as are their parties - advances our struggle. I believe we need to build an independent liberation movement that's not tied down by waiting to see what happens in the next election. Everything our movement has ever won, including progressive legislation, has been won based on the strength of our struggle.

On Our Backs: Lesbians who accept transgender liberation in theory often balk at making alliances with transsexuals. Why is this so?

Feinberg: First and foremost, transsexual men and women helped build the modern lesbian, gay, and bisexual communities and movement. I know of at least one transsexual sister who fought the cops at Stonewall. They haven't always been recognized for their valuable contributions. But I believe strongly that those in the lesbian communities who are opposed to building coalitions with the diverse trans communities are just one current, and very often a minority current. The question is: Which current of any movement will lead? Those who seek to narrow the movement, or those who seek to broaden and strengthen its collective power?

*In this interview, On Our Backs refers to Feinberg with the pronouns "hir" (pronounced "here") and "s/he." We choose to do so because Feinberg has stressed that if society is to accept transgendered people, our language must expand as well. S/he gives as an example Ms., a common term now, but unacceptable before the women's movement.

Source.

[laundryandtaxes]

New pants just dropped

[johannathemad]

my bby girl💖

[johannathemad]

Please just give him back his hat already 😫😭😩

[felworthless]

i feel like johnny would be one of those people that smile in frowns

[fluffermckitty]

there they are, idiot teenagers with a death wish

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

it's been a while but i always pictured jake and rachel (and marco before he moved) living in nice, upper-middle class two-stories, with tobias living in a smallish house in a poorer area of town (post-birdification, of course). i can't remember any specific descriptions of cassie's house in the books, though i always imagined she lived in some sort of nice farmhouse a little outside town. anyways if you have any ideas or memories of descriptions from the books, that would be really cool! ty!

It is canon that Jake's room is on the second floor of his house (#41) and that he shares a bathroom with Tom (#26). His might be the biggest house, since it also has a basement (#47) and a backyard with a swingset (#16) and those are details we don't hear about from anyone else.

We know that Rachel's got a two-story house and that her bedroom is directly above her kitchen (#12, when her floor falls out and dumps her onto the kitchen island) and that she normally shares a full bathroom with her sisters but that her mom also has a second full bathroom en-suite (#17, #22).

Cassie's house is on a huge plot of land that's been in her family since the Civil War era (#4) and has fields large enough to be an hour's horse ride in length that abut the woods (#19). I don't know for sure how many stories it has, but her window looks out on a stretch of roof (#30), so probably two stories is a decent guess. She's also obviously got the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic attached to the house (#29) and there are somewhere between 10 and 40 stalls for various animals as well as a small operating room.

Marco moves somewhere between #5 and #15. We know his early-series apartment is small enough that he can find out whether Peter is home just by talking loudly (#8) but also that he does have his own bedroom (#5) so it's probably not as small as a studio. We know his later-series apartment is larger, and that he not only has his own room but has a walk-in closet (#22), so probably a decent-sized place.

Tobias's pre-nothliting residency is left mostly undescribed, but we know that he's got a room of his own at his uncle's place (#33) and that his aunt had an attic (#43). We also know that his uncle's place is in the same neighborhood as Loren's (#49), and that Loren's place is a small free-standing house with 3 or 4 rooms in total.

Other than that, we know that none of the Animorphs has a pool (Marco mentions it in #20) and that Jake and Rachel are on the same bus line while Cassie and Marco are not (#2). David's house is apparently closest to Rachel's (#21) and Rachel's mother might be the wealthiest of any of the parents (#52) so Rachel might have the largest house of any of the Animorphs.

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

Top 5 anime you think are criminally underrated!

This is a really good question, and it was VERY difficult to keep myself to only 5. These are all anime that I think deserve a much wider viewership! (Plus five more!)

I ended up spending waaayyyy longer on this than I thought, I can’t imagine how much I would have written if you’d said top 10. I can literally talk about anime forever. Here’s some I wholeheartedly recommend.

1. Shojo Kageki Revue Starlight (Action, drama, romance)

This is my newest love, as of yesterday, when I binged the whole thing. The best way I can describe it is by mashing up other anime. Take Revolutionary Girl Utena, iron out about three layers of metaphor, and trim off all of the dark themes related to the Rose Bride. Then throw it in a blender with Madoka Magica and Love Live!, add half a cup of Gay Concentrate, and serve up the result: A character-driven drama about girls at a performing arts school, who settle their differences in magical-girl-fantasy duels styled as impossibly gorgeous theatrical stage-combat musical numbers. Beyond the flash and high concept, there’s a well-written cast, solid emotional core, and really engaging plot.

2. The Eccentric Family (Drama, comedy)

This show is my favorite genre of fantasy; mythical creatures living in the modern world, right under humans’ noses. In this series, humans only know tanuki as the cute little raccoon-dogs, but tanuki are really sentient shapeshifters whose goals are to outsmart the humans who live in the cities, pester the tengu who rule the heavens, live a life of freedom and trickery, and not end up on the inside of a hunter’s trap. The story follows a family of a mother and four sons whose widely-respected father was killed to end up in a human’s hot pot, as they try to enjoy their lives, live up to his imposing reputation, and unravel the increasingly suspicious circumstances of his death.

I have called this one “deceptively light-hearted” when describing it. My friend got halfway through the first season and came back to me with the verdict, “consider me fucking deceived.” This show has weight and does not pull its emotional punches, but neither does it ever stumble into becoming grimdark. Its worldbuilding is solid and the characters are all fantastically developed. Plus I wrote a whole post about one of the main antagonists(?) who I hadn’t even mentioned here.

3. Dennou Coil (Mystery, sci-fi)

Dennou Coil is a masterclass in worldbuilding, in my opinion. It’s a near-future sci-fi world, basically if Google Glass had taken off and become as common as cell phones are today. Many people don’t see the real world, they see the virtual textures of the world as they’re rendered through the glasses. Kids in one city have learned to mess around with codes, collecting tradeable fragments that break off the edges where the system glitches, chasing viruses that hide in pockets of obselete code in abandoned areas of the city where the software doesn’t get updated often. They spend their time after school saving virtual pets from being accidentally deleted by the city’s antivirus, trading tall tales about kids who get caught by the antivirus and get their glasses bricked, and spinning urban legends about ghosts waiting just behind anything that’s visibly rendered, waiting to steal kids when they least expect it. Every detail they introduce is critical to laying the foundation for the mystery that forms the show’s plot.

Everything about this world feels real in a way I’ve never seen in a sci-fi anime. It’s all grounded in a clear understanding of programming, and lives by show-don’t-tell. The stakes aren’t life-and-death; the kids tagging glitches like graffiti to distract the city’s antivirus software are only at risk of ruining their glasses, at least at first. The plot and escalation is perfectly-paced, and the mystery is so satisfying to piece together as it unfolds.

4. ID:Invaded (Sci-fi, action, thriller, murder mystery)

This show is like Psycho-Pass meets Silence of the Lambs. To catch a serial killer, you need to think like a killer, and nobody does that better than killers. A contraption called an “id well” can manifest an uncaught killer’s unconscious mind as a bizarre, unique, deadly terrain driven by stream-of-consciousness, and convicted murderers turned “detectives” dive into these wells to try to solve the mystery each well presents and discern the identity of other killers before they can strike again.

This show is a tightly-written, perfectly paced, edge-of-your-seat thriller. The two layers of mysteries inside and outside of the wells balance high-octane, big-screen action with tight, tense realism. Plus the soundtrack is an absolute banger.

5. Ping Pong the Animation (drama, sports)

Imagine if I told you that there was a show that, in 11 episodes, unpacked how patterns of relationships are repeated across generations, how the tradeoff between talent, practice, and who you are outside of your achievements can scar the spirits of kids, and what it feels like to wrestle with the tension between your core understanding of yourself and how others expect you to be. Imagine if I told you that every major character goes through massive restructurings of their fundamental sense of self and how they see others, and that every single arc comes to a well-rounded and satisfying end. Imagine if the animation style pushed the limits of both realism and absurdity, landing somewhere between rotoscoping and caricature, pushing the impact of action and stretching the character’s expressiveness without betraying faces that are animated like real human people. Imagine that it had a dub so fantastic that it sits next to Baccano and Cowboy Bebop in my mind, shows where the cast threw themselves into their roles with their whole hearts.

Now imagine that I told you that this story is told in the context of high schoolers playing ping pong, and that it’s arguably the best show I’ve ever seen. Go watch this show.

[officiallordvetinari]

So apparently the Animorphs cover artist also made that amazing series of wizard pictures?? And he sells prints of both? His Etsy store is here and the other link is here.

[thequintab]

[chapdietostie-deactivated202406]

This will forever kill me

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I saw your AUs on AO3 and I was curious, how would you think if Melissa Chapman had joined the Animorphs? With either her joining the Animorphs from the get-go, being part of the group in the construction site, or learning from the aftermath of #31 of her parents' infestion? Maybe expand on how Ellimist is stacking the deck with her as well?

“Five Things That Never Happened to Melissa (and one that did)” by Poetry handles this premise brilliantly, and I highly recommend it.

[writtenbymeeks]

Wonder Egg Priority Theory

I was rewatching Ep 1 just recently and noticed something.

The first girl that Ai helped (Kurumi Saijo) always struck me as odd with how much she knew about the world.

She knew the names of the SeeNoEvils, the rules of the world, to run away and that the world had a timer/certain ways to win.

She didn't seem shocked aswell that Ai whipped out a giant weapon by the end of it aswell, she seemed more relieved.

She also says a line "Nothing costs more than a free gift." Meaning she knows the ploy to get young girls into buying the eggs and maybe even something about the "game".

Now you may think I'm spinning my wheels so to speak but is there another instance where any of the people from the eggs knew anything about the world or enemies? No.

I have three theories about this;

1. I think Kurumi was like the other four girls and she was murdered by Ura-Acca and Acca.

My first clue about her being murdered is her trauma/assailants having no face and only mouths like the two. Also they obviously know how to con young girls into this deal/game which makes me believe this has been going on for a long time.

2. Kurumi committed suicide.

Finding out about what the true nature of this game has obviously taken a toll on our main four girls so whats to say Kurumi found out and couldn't come to terms with the whole ordeal? She also didn't seem surprised she wound up there aswell and tried to keep Ai from harms way.

3. Kurumi is Frill.

Ai has always been closely watched and observed by Ura-Acca and Acca. Who's not to say Frill has also taken an interest in her?

Also the striking resemblance between the two with both having red hair thats wavey/curly. Both girls been somewhat eccentric and charming, easily loveable and radiant.

I wouldn't be surprised if Frill is trying to reach out to Ai in some way.

These are just some theories but I found it kind of interesting and I hope you might aswell.

[rochichan]

break the egg

[kujopotato-draws]

[frozentothetouch]

TPN S2 EP 11 SPOILERS

ok so from what I’ve seen, they just completely skipped over seven walls and emma randomly made the promsie?? man shit don’t make sense but

the real reason I’m making a post is this

fuck season two in its entirety but holy hell I will never shut up about this clip...musica is a fucking goddess