sparrow

#;p #p;hospitality #phxgyu

It was fucking cold, but then again it always was sleeping on the streets. The night before he’d stayed in a friends house, on their couch, which was his preferred means of sleeping these days - but he’d moved on, too far from their apartment to go back, and not close enough to any other friend to turn up and bribe his way into the warmth of their home for the night. He didn’t mind sleeping on the streets, he was pretty good at it now. He would find a shop that stayed open twenty-four hours, and curl up somewhat near to their door. It was safer than sleeping somewhere dark. People never bothered him when he slept in the brighter lit places. After the first year of using his power to gain a bed for the night he’d stopped, realising just how wrong it was - cheating his way through life.

He lived fairly now, after all that had happened he had to, for his own peace of mind.

He was drifting in a cloud somewhere between just asleep, and just awake, only half conscious, noting footsteps or hushed voices, or the sliding of the shop door opening, but other than that, it was relatively peaceful. The cold wasn’t yet enough to penetrate into his bones, thanks to his layered clothes, but it was enough to stop him from falling into a deeper sleep.

Unaware of the figure kneeling beside him he gave a jerked start as he felt a hand shake his shoulder, lifting himself hurriedly onto one forearm, hand grabbing tightly at his full to the brim duffel bag he’d been using as a pillow. It took a second for his eyes to focus on the figure, their face only half illuminated by the light that streaked out of the shop window above them. If he hadn’t spoken Woohyun would have taken longer to realise who it was, eyes bleary from sleep. The voice however was unmistakable.

“Sunggyu?” He croaked out, lifting a hand to rub at his eyes before once again peering at the elder man. “What are you doing here?” He knew he wasn’t far from the others home, but he hadn’t expected for the dark haired man to be out so late, and to stumble upon him.

Strangely, he felt a little embarrassed about his current position - he hadn’t wanted Sunggyu to know he was pretty much homeless. But he had no other explanation for why he’d be sleeping on the street. He couldn’t lie, anyway, not to Sunggyu.

ravixph-deactivated20160802

. ink

[ ... ]

With a violent metaphysical yank Ravi jerked his power back fully as hard as he could. Cut it out you greedy little shit! He hated when it acted out as if it was an entity all it’s own like that. Prying and seeking things that Ravi knew were best left alone. Secrets were secrets for a reason, god knew he had a shit ton of his own to keep. Contritely he tried to crawl over to the other side of last night bagged bar remnants trying to get to his feet and put more physical distance between he and the friend he’d just nearly spiritually hijacked.

“Sorry…” he mumbled lowering tangerine tone irises and shoving his hair (now a garish almost Mango red-orange hue) out of his eyes. “You can’t wave breakfast at it like that hyung–not til after I’ve had a stiff Irish coffee and a damn shower first at least.”

#;p #p;ink #ravixph #this is really late im so sorry #please forgive me friend

It wasn’t often Woohyun stumbled upon anything too interesting, even with this dang island being filled to the brim with ‘special’ people. Everywhere he looked there was something ‘strange’ happening, but he hadn’t found much of it interesting for a very long time. It got boring after a while, seeing people move things without touching them, manipulate colours and sounds and textures and the solidity of objects - wasn’t that fun, when a chair looked perfectly solid, until you set yourself down, expecting it to support you, only to find yourself falling through the floating liquid object. Pranksters were the minority of the population that weren’t yet bored with their powers and what they could do with them, and what others could do with theirs. They were reckless, and usually were the first to be sought out by gangs and rebellious individuals - if they were lucky they were recruited, but that was, in some way, a mercy killing. In no way was it really better than being slaughtered for carelessness.

No one wanted someone walking around splashing their power over all those they fell upon and causing irritation and chaos wherever they went.

But it seemed Woohyun was in for an exciting morning. He had nothing planned for the day, as usual - what was he meant to do when he worked evenings and nights? Search some more, probably. It was all he knew at this point. But Ravi always made things interesting. Even as he attempted to struggle out of the plastic bags hold on him. It took Woohyun a while to really soak in the others appearance, trying to suppress his protective older brother tendencies, because really he knew Ravi didn’t need it. He was a big boy - bigger than Woohyun, even though he was older.

It often slipped his mind how auras affected his friend - he had no idea really what auras were or looked like or felt like, but he knew very well that in this state they bothered Ravi immensely - or at least that was what he seemed to pick up from his next words, and all those he’d before uttered in situations like these, where Woohyun would pick him up, dust him off, like a good hyung, and take him back to his van. So at the words spoken he took a single step back, a soft smile on his lips, somewhere between apologetic and fond, and tried to calm his breathing. The emotions and thoughts part was a little easier, as he was calm enough to focus on the breathing and nothing else for a moment, hopefully cancelling out whatever it was in his ‘auras’ that was bothering his friend.

Shuffling backward with a glance downward, making sure there wasn’t anything in his way, or around his feet that might trip him up, he found his way to the wall of the alleyway, pressing his shoulder blades back against the cool brickwork. Leaning his head back for a moment he felt his breathing slow, heart calming down from the warming jog. He was calmer than usual thanks to the jog - it always helped to sort him out, like reinforcing that shield that kept out the worries.

With a light-hearted, but slightly remorseful chuckle he gave a hurried apology, “Sorry, wasn’t thinking.” Was his short reply, more interested in that moment in his friend who seemed to be in a bit of a mess… More like a lot of a mess. “Want me to help you back to your van? I’ll buy you a coffee on the way if you want.” He’d been paid the night before and had a small portion in his zipped pockets of his sweats. Thankfully he’d had a secure place to sleep the night before, and hopefully that night as well. He didn’t feel like spending the night in front of a coffee shop or supermarket again.

“You look like shit.” Well, no one said he was always a nice hyung.

tracker #1

Writing:

Ink - ravixph Domesticated - phxcarnage Hospitality - phgyu

Waiting for:

Burger Chef (took the liberty of naming it for my tags oz) - yooahph Recall - phxjongin Seonmul - sooyoung-ph

Plotting:

phxkrys phxarden

#;tracker #cause I seriously need to get with it

.seonmul

Maybe it was the praise he craved, or maybe it was the offer of a warm place to sleep at night when he was in the vicinity, or maybe it was just whatever pleased response he’d get from the stolen gifts handed to Sooyoung upon almost every one of their meetings. Pretty jewellry, clothes, ornaments and objects - anything he thought she might like, anything that was as beautiful as she was. He wasn’t one to ignore someone’s physical appearance, even if he himself never paid much attention to his own appearance - he didn’t have the space to have an extensive wardrobe, so he went for comfortable and warm, over fashionable and chilling.

He knew, if he wanted, he could have a house of his own, a steady, well-paid job and as many ‘bits ‘n’ bobs’ he could ever want - all he had to do was ask for them and he was given it.

But he couldn’t.

Not only because he had morals, but because he was constantly on the move, searching, living in one place for no longer than a couple weeks - as long as it took him to search every street, every shop, every nook and cranny of the districts he searched. The only thing was that he then had to find places to sleep, which, over time, had become easier as he accumulated friends over the island, willing to give him a couch to sleep on for a couple nights, for which he was eternally thankful.

One was he showed that was to bring them pretty things, like a cat bringing dead mice to their owner as presents - though the presents Woohyun brought back were far prettier than deceased rodents.

Work ended at different times each night for Woohyun - he was let off early sometimes, the den still remaining open to treat the injured fighters after the last fight of the night. That night he ended early, much to his pleasure - his eyes had caught on a familiar face across the room, and he had a gift ready for her. As he grabbed his bag from his locker in the back room he tugged out the black velvet box just larger than his hand and slung his bag over his shoulder as he made his way back out, slipping deftly through the lingering crowds of people, and over to Sooyoung.

The seat across from her soon became home to his behind, the black box set on the table between them, Woohyun’s slightly stubby fingers sliding it across the table with a small smile. The dainty emerald, diamond and silver necklace inside had been easy enough to get, and had reminded him of her - it was small, modest, but eye catching despite its size and simplicity.

“I hope you like it.”

#;p #p;seonmul #sooyoung-ph #THIS IS LATE IM TRASH IM SO SORRY

- recall

A dark blanket shrouded the land, pinpricks of light shining through like a smattering of glitter floating through the air as he walked at a brisk pace, the only sound meeting his ears the occasional whoosh of a car as it passed, the distant sound of chatter from streets away, and the rhythmic slap of his feet against the concrete pavement as he walked. The bag slung over his shoulder was heavy, but it was a familiar weight, pressing into the well worn spot against the back of his left hip that so often bore some of the weight of the large duffle bag that held all of Woohyun’s possessions. One earbud still firmly pressed into his ear he let the familiar beat of songs he’d listened to time and time again fill his head, the other left out for his own safety - he’d been crept up on too many time to take risks like that. Hearing was a blessing he wisely chose to utilise.

It didn’t take long for him to find the familiar door, a hand lifting to rap against the wood as he adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder, the hood of his head shifting and displacing his hair - not that he minded, it wasn’t like he frequently looked stunning - he made it an unconscious habit of his to frequently look like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. Expectations were lower that way. Weight shifting from one leg to the other he hoped to god that Jongin was in - he desperately needed somewhere warm to stay that night, the night before had been too hard on him, and he could feel the startings of a cold; itchy throat, stuffy head, tight chest.

Taking a step the side he leant his right shoulder against the doorframe and slid his bag off his shoulder, letting it drop to his feet, landing on his toes, eliciting an only slightly noticeable wince from him. Rearranging his feet around the large, dark blue, waterproof sack he sighed heavily, hand lifting to push his slightly overgrown hair out of his eyes, fingers numb from the cold. He definitely needed a warm bed for the night, or couch as he was more frequently used to.

There was no way his back would hold out past thirty.

#;p #p;recall #phxjongin #THIS IS SO LATE IM SO SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT

saintguts

[ ... ]

Maybe that was her way of coping with whatever was happening inside of her when he was around. Y’know how some people eat their feelings away– but at least she knew she hadn’t completely lost everything. The little butterflies you feel cluttering around inside your stomach when you talk to that one person? That was something she’d never give up for freedom.

#;p #p;burger chef #yooaph #this is super duper late im so sorry

Nights like these, when the sun was slowly starting to set, leaving the sky an egg yolk orange around the horizon, were those Woohyun found he liked the most. There was something about the ambiance of the oranges and purples slowly thinning toward the edge of the land, disappearing behind the roofs in the distance as evening wore on into night, that soaked him in a peacefulness he wasn’t often able to find. As the sky grew dark and pinpricks of light began to shine through, the moon finding it’s place centre stage, the day, whether good or bad, easy or hard, always came to an end, bringing with it the hope that tomorrow might, in some way, be better.

He liked to make the most of these evenings when the weather was neither cold nor hot, settling into the middle, the impending heat of summer kept at bay by the lingering chill of winter. It was why Spring was one of his favourite times of year. He’d set out for a run, whether he’d been for one that morning or not - running, for Woohyun, was entirely therapeutic. His rhythmic breathing laying a steady base for peaceful thinking time, no distractions, no worries about the rest of his day, as it would be over and another would peek over the horizon, brought alongside morning. Morning runs were different, they tackled the useless hopes and wishes he might hold for that day, relaxing him to the idea that maybe today would be just the same as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that…

There was only a little something that kept him from his runs upon the odd evening, however it wasn’t something he particularly minded, or to be more exact, it wasn’t someone he minded - in fact they tended to brighten the end of his day. Yooa was nice company, and Woohyun enjoyed spending some evenings talking with her as he pushed her around a park, or along the brighter lit streets, taking scenic routes as he asked about her day.

Jogging up to the girl sat in the wheelchair he was by now very familiar with a smile grew on his lips, eyes scrunching slightly. Woohyun didn’t often get to spend time with his friends, as those he had made lived all over the island and he was constantly on the move, there was one person he always made sure to come back to see frequently. Yooa, in a way, reminded him that youth was still possible for people on this island. She brought back that real life feeling, where people were both young, and old, they learnt, and made mistakes as they grew. He didn’t get to see that much when he constantly surrounded himself with experiments, training to kill for their freedom, just so they could go home to see their parents, or simply to get rich.

In the end, what would money do for experiments anyway - the damage had been done, and it couldn’t be undone. Maybe it could be forgiven for the right amount, at least in some people’s minds, but not Woohyun’s.

But these evenings, when he would push Yooa around, then take her to wherever he was staying to cook her a burger from a new recipe he’d have searched high and low for since the last time he saw her, as long as he was staying somewhere with cooking appliances (he’d not yet managed to get himself a portable stove, or camping cooker), were ones he looked forward to, there was no doubt about that. So as he stopped beside her chair, hand coming to rest on the back, breathing heavy, he couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at her words.

“You’re in luck. I found this amazing recipe just last night, and I have all the ingredients back at my friends place.”

fyeah-infinite

151023 ICN → BKK © 조련과애교사이 | Do not edit.

#visual

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

When Woohyun spoke of his offer, Sunggyu had to bite the inside of his cheek. He felt like screaming, crying out - so many feelings were raging inside of him, and in fear that his words would affect Woohyun and his emotions; while also showing how Sunggyu felt, he just nodded. He nodded and took a deep breath -” alright.” the word was curt, quick and Sunggyu raised his hand to wave the other off, “for now, I need to be alone.”

He had things to think about, and things to consider and take in.

Sunggyu used to give in to Woohyun easily, it was something Woohyun vividly remembered - all the times when Woohyun would plead with Sunggyu, and if he pleaded for long enough, Sunggyu would reluctantly smile at Woohyun’s aegyo, and give up fighting, giving the younger what he wanted. There were times when Woohyun would want Sunggyu to do things that weren’t entirely legal, but with enough persuasion and pouting, he always managed to get a ‘yes’ out of the elder.

But things weren’t the same anymore.

Sunggyu spoke and though it didn’t slice him open like the previous words had, it didn’t leave him with a warmth in his stomach the way Sunggyu’s words used to when he was a teenager. He paused, shifting his weight from one foot to another, before deciding that no matter what he’d always respect Sunggyu’s requests, so he gave a soft sigh. “Okay. I’ll… Come back later today, I have a few things to ask… I think we both do.”

Eyes lingering on Sunggyu for a moment more he let the picture of him standing with his back to him imprint into his mind - even from the back he was beautiful. With a step backward Woohyun pushed one hand into the pocket of his hoodie, the other reaching out to open the office door. With one last look over his shoulder at the man stood facing the wall he felt his heart tremble in his chest, like a mini earthquake rattling through the almost empty cavity. For so long all that really occupied his chest was Sunggyu, and now he felt as if it might be taken away, as if someone were about to shove their hand up under his ribcage and yank out the shrivelled old thing only left beating for the man now asking him to leave.

He’d be back. He wouldn’t let this, him and Sunggyu, all their memories - he wouldn’t let it all go without a fight.

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

Sunggyu turns away and allows his back to face Woohyun as he closes his eyes, and takes in a few deep breaths. An overwhelming sadness strikes him; and tears begin to fall down his cheeks. “I can’t run into your arms,” he whispered.

“You’re a stranger.”

#;p #p;afterglow #phgyu #getting into the old long replies yuss

There had never been in a time with Woohyun and Sunggyu, past maybe the first few weeks of knowing each other, that Woohyun had felt he couldn’t just hug the elder, that he couldn’t act on impulse and say, do what he wanted. An invisible barrier separated him from Sunggyu, cutting him off from the man he’d been dreaming about seeing again for so many years - all he wanted to do was take him into his arms and cry for all the years they’d lost. He’d wondered time after time what they’d have done had they never got involved with Project Hercules.

He’d thought a few times that they may have been married by now - they’d be together still, surely. Sunggyu would’ve gone to University, and Woohyun would’ve finished high school. They’d stay together, and Woohyun would probably spend most of his nights with Sunggyu wherever he was living, and then when Woohyun was old enough he’d leave home, they’d live together, and then get engaged, maybe when Woohyun turned twenty-one. By now, surely they’d have been married.

It seemed like the perfect future, which was no longer possible. Not here, not now.

But as Sunggyu spoke it struck Woohyun that, in a way, even though he hated to admit it, Sunggyu was right. They weren’t who they were when they were teenagers. Woohyun was different both physically and mentally. He’d done things he’d never have done had he never volunteered - he regretted so much, but volunteering wasn’t one of them. He regretted not trying harder to fight for Sunggyu’s innocence. He regretted not saying he was the one who committed the crime, just to save Sunggyu. He knew Sunggyu wouldn’t have followed him. Sunggyu hadn’t ever needed Woohyun the way Woohyun had needed Sunggyu. Sunggyu was like a beacon of hope for a teenage Woohyun who had no idea what he was doing, or who he was. Sunggyu taught him it was okay to be yourself, to be different.

Different was special.

But now, they weren’t the people they fell in love with back then, they’d changed, grown, been through things that would change them for the worse, not for the better, as growing up was supposed to. Woohyun hadn’t grown up the right way - he’d seen things, done things, and he wished he hadn’t.

Nevertheless, it hurt like hell when Sunggyu labelled him as a stranger, the word slicing at him like a sharpened knife. He froze, breath leaving his lungs in a choked noise, eyes widening and glistening with unshed tears. Nothing mattered to Woohyun anymore but Sunggyu, even if he wasn’t the same Sunggyu, he was still Sunggyu, and no matter what Sunggyu he was, no matter whether he was a murderer, or a psychopath, Woohyun didn’t think he’d ever not love Sunggyu.

“Give me a month… Just- Just give me one month, and if you can’t find anything in your heart that still beats for me after that time, I’ll go. But just… just give me this chance. For past us, do it for how we used to be, just to see, just to make sure… I can’t lose you without a fight, not this time.”

veilled-deactivated20160315

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse ---

alternatively send ‘ + ‘ after the symbol for the roles to be reversed where possible !

✘ = hugging them . Δ = playing with their hair . ❤ = kissing them . ₪ = asking them out for dinner . ☀ = giving them a gift of ___ ( asker’s choice ) . ♘ = stabbing them . ♕ = bowing down before them . ♒ = lying to them . ✿ = buying them flowers . ☾ = being found shirtless . ♢ = reading them a story . ☂ = giving them their jumper to keep warm . ✎ = speaking in a different language . ✏ = teaching them a different language . ▄ = telling them a joke . ♬ = singing to them . ☹ = insulting a loved one . ஐ = slapping them . ✂ = threatening them . ❃ = dancing with them . ▤ = falling asleep on them . ☮ = waking them up after a nightmare . ♣ = discovering them crying . 回 = patching a wound . ✮ = stargazing . ▓ = caught stealing their belongings . ☽ = wandering alone at night . ♡ = complimenting them . ≡ = offering a place to stay overnight . ☢ = falling over . ✦ = being well-dressed . ❂ = wiping blood off their face . ◎ = taking care of them while ill . ☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them . ⇕ = holding their hand . ↱ = being lost with them . ☠ = pushing them against a wall .

#;meme #dO IT OUO

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

As the door shut, the fact that they were alone in the room alone together was a bit suffocating; but he pushed past his own discomfort and got straight to the point.

“When? How long have you been… around? Why didn’t you move on?” Not that Sunggyu himself had, he couldn’t. He had slept around in the beginning, about two years after coming to the Island, but the sex lost it’s kick and he just focused on the bookshop and himself.

“I thought you would’ve married and had children.” he whispered, “Or gone after your dream for soccer or… something. Not…willingly put your life on the line.”

There were times Woohyun had wondered whether he regretted volunteering, but every thought process ended with the same answer. He didn’t. He volunteered for a reason. But maybe now things were different. His heart hurt, his head hurt, his eyes stung and his chest felt tight, his limbs ached and he wanted to sleep, because this wasn’t how it was meant to go. This wasn’t how they were supposed to be - where had the love gone? The times Woohyun had imagined their meeting had always been full of affection, tears, kisses and ‘I can’t believe you’re here’s’, but this wasn’t it. He could feel the anger, and it only made his eyes sting more. But he couldn’t cry, not here, not in front of Sunggyu.

He followed into the office without another word, everything tense, on edge - he didn’t know what was going to happen, or where they now stood, or whether this was the first, and last time he’d get to see Sunggyu. He didn’t know what to do, other than cry. But he couldn’t, not here, not now, when there was more to think about than his own tears. The questions hit with a sting in each word, reminding him of how he’d signed his own life away without a second though. It had been a living nightmare, but he’d never lost hope.

Hands wringing around one another, he waited for Sunggyu to finish speaking, finish asking him things. Of Sunggyu would have never thought Woohyun would do anything like this - surely no one would think a sixteen year old would give up their entire life for love. But Woohyun was different, he was always different, and though he knew Sunggyu had been somewhat oblivious he’d never thought he’d not realise just how much Woohyun needed him.

“I couldn’t. How could I move on?! You.. You were… You were everything to me, Sunggyu. Nothing mattered once they took you away… I volunteered about a week after they took you. Nothing else mattered then, nothing else held any promise for me - I wanted nothing but to find you.”

MOODBOARD: NAM WOOHYUN

#;hc #;mb #moodboard

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

He took a small step forward, brow frowning. “I can’t believe it’s you…. what are you doing here Woohyun? I’m sure you didn’t commit a crime; I thought… You’d be with your mother back in Seoul.”

He hadn’t wanted this for the younger. He wanted him to be happy.

“You’re the last person I expected to run into.” he whispered, “The last person I expected to see…” But the first person he wanted to see. The first person he longed to see. The person he prayed he would see - or was he? Was Woohyun still the person he loved…? That was the question that ate at Sunggyu the most.

He’d always loved being close to Sunggyu, letting the whole atmosphere that lingered around him seep into his bones, circulate through his veins - he’d loved losing himself in all that was Kim Sunggyu, but now he wasn’t sure where he stood, what he was allowed to do - if anything. It felt wrong, hands cupping Sunggyu’s cheeks, but the relief flooding through him at the fact that Sunggyu hadn’t flinched back, away from the touch, gave him a single grain of hope that all wasn’t lost.

Sunggyu must remember how their hearts used to beat one.

As Sunggyu stepped forward, Woohyun’s hands fell, eyes locked on his face, his lips, the little cupid’s bow and the curve of his nose. His eyes, the same as they used to be. His cheeks had lost a little of the retained puppy fat he’d still held onto into his late teens, and his skin had paled slightly - but he only seemed more beautiful in Woohyun’s eyes. He’d imagined him growing up so many times and he’d never once thought he’d be quiet so distractingly beautiful.

The question drew a sigh past his lips, breath shuddering as he brought a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing slowly as he peered at the elder through his lashes. “I… Volunteered.” He simply stated - he knew Sunggyu would be like this, he should have realised just how angry he might be at the knowledge that Woohyun had thrown away his whole future for Sunggyu. But Woohyun had never had a single day where he regretted his decision.

Not even now, when it seemed it had all been in vain. For all he knew Sunggyu had moved on, was with someone else now. It hurt, the thought pricked at every inch of him until it felt he was melting through the floor, everything hurt and his head pounded, chest tight and eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t lose you like that.”

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

The other was still shorter than him, but only slightly. His face matured and his body wasn’t so lanky. He had grown up. In the eight years that they were seperated it was no surprise the two of them had changed in apperance, but probably in characteristics as well. He didn’t know this Woohyun who stood before him, didn’t know who he was now. Was he the one Sunggyu loved so dearly? Or had he changed.

“Hello…” he began, voice barely above a whisper, “…Woohyun.”

His gaze lowered down to his feet then, feeling his cheeks warm up in shame, embarrassment - he felt awkward around this Woohyun. The one who looked so much like the boy he fell in love with. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to approach the situation. It was all very sudden; actually.

He waited, unsure of whether Sunggyu would even reply or not. Would he open the door, or not, would he care, or not? Woohyun had been so sure before the moment he’d set eyes on him that Sunggyu would be happy to see him. But now everything seemed flipped upside down - this wasn’t how it was meant to go. His hand slowly dropped from the handle, and he hung his head, breathing a sigh - what was he meant to do now? Because he wasn’t leaving, not after so many years of searching. He deserved more than silence from the other.

So he stood his ground and waited.

The door slowly opened, and his eyes once again fell on the man his heart beat so furiously at the thought of. He didn’t move, didn’t smile, didn’t speak, just simply let his eyes linger on the elder man’s face. It was the same, only his hair was no longer red - it was dark, and he wasn’t wearing the dark eyeliner he used to. He looked like a man now, not a teenager. He was still taller than Woohyun, but honestly Woohyun knew he would be - he remembered how tall Sunggyu was, and he knew he hadn’t surpassed that height.

Unable to breath properly his lungs seemed frozen just as his entire body was, except from his wildly pounding heart, beating so loud his ears caught every single beat. Sunggyu looked, for the most part, exactly like Woohyun had expected him to look. Knowing Sunggyu so well, as he had, he knew he’d grow out of the rocker rebellion phase, he’d grow past that red hair and eyeliner and ripped skinny jeans. He looked like the Sunggyu Woohyun had pictured in his head, a proper, beautiful man.

He was still so goddamned beautiful.

Then, he spoke Woohyun’s name and a shuddered breath escaped him. Biting down his lip his jaw trembled brow furrowing as he realised just how much his heart hurt as he saw that Sunggyu’s eyes didn’t hold what they used to when they looked at him. The overwhelming warmth wasn’t there. The love that he had for Woohyun when he was sixteen was gone. It hurt more than being stabbed did - Woohyun knew that as fact.

He wanted to reach out, to draw Sunggyu to his chest and cling to him, as he’d imagined himself doing time and time again when he thought of them meeting again. But he felt he no longer had the right to. It didn’t stop him from lifting his hands to gently cup Sunggyu’s cheeks, barely even grazing the skin as he tilted his head to make him look at him, eyes filling with tears as he realised how different things now were.

“I… I can’t believe it’s you.” His voice shook, cracked, then his hands dropped, because he didn’t feel he could touch him like that anymore, not after so long, not when that warmth didn’t seem to be there anymore.

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

Run.

He turned his body and quickly shuffled towards the back of the shop, opening a door and quickly walking inside the office, before slamming it shut. His back pressed against the back of the door and tears began pooling down his cheeks. How could this be? Why was it? He felt conflicted. His heart was torn between being happy that Woohyun was there - to distraught that the other had landed himself in a place like this. Small sobs left his lips as he slid down the door, too overwhelmed by emotions to properly think or take action. fear coursing through his veins.

“fuck,” he whispered, “oh fuck me, this isn’t fair.”

Lungs clenching painfully, feeling as though they were collapsing he found himself frozen in place, unable to move until the man behind the counter said something. Maybe he just looked like him, maybe it wasn’t actually Sunggyu, maybe Woohyun was seeing things - his mind playing tricks on him. Even though he so desperately hoped it was him, at the same time, he’d never really thought over just how it’d go down if he found him. Was this man, who looked almost the spitting image of the boy he’d looked up to when he was a mere teenager, really the man Woohyun had been searching for for eight years, just hidden behind bookshelves in a shop so easily found. Had it really been this easy?

His suspicions seemed confirmed as the man’s eyes widened, hands coming to the desk and arms shaking. There was no doubt about it, this was him, this was his Sunggyu, the man he’d been searching so tirelessly for for so many years. But he couldn’t bring himself to move, to shatter what felt like a dream.

It turned out he didn’t have to, because Sunggyu did it for him.

The man turned,

and ran.

His eyes followed as he made his way quickly through a door at the back of the shop, leaving Woohyun standing, wide eyed and breathless, heart racing, head hoping. For a moment he didn’t know what to do, brain whirring, fingers twitching, lips pressed together, teeth gritted. He didn’t know what to do now - did he follow? Did he wait?

It took no longer than a few seconds for him to make his decision. Passing by the other customers in the shop, minding their own business, he took deliberate, quick steps toward the door through which Sunggyu had disappeared. He stilled, hand on the doorknob, body leant forward, ready to push through the barrier between him and the man he’d not stopped thinking about for so many years. But he paused, tentative to the others situation - maybe he was shocked to see him. Woohyun knew Sunggyu would never know he’d volunteered, would have presumed he’d still be in Seoul - he wasn’t expecting to ever see him again, unlike Woohyun, who’d done nothing but dream of this moment.

“Sunggyu… Kim Sunggyu. That’s you, right?” He just had to make sure, he needed a definite answer - he’d only seen his face for those few seconds before he’d rushed off. But he was so sure, he just needed the other to talk to him.

Afterglow.

[ ... ]

“Welcome!” he called out, as he did per usual with all the customers who entered his shop, the tone in his voice changed to one of warmth and relaxation - knowing it’ll effect how the stranger feels and have them stay longer. It wasn’t really the most sincere way to keep customers, but he worked his advantage.

Luna gave a small meow and Sunggyu turned towards her before smiling, “Hungry?” he mused softly, before leaning down to fill up her food and water bowls; he kept the food close by the desk, as long as the bottled water he filled her dish with, because Luna disliked being away from Sunggyu, usually.

Stroking the top of her head softly, he stood up again and stretched his arms above his head, his gaze shifting around the store - his gaze though seemed to stop as his eyes met with the blonde strangers, and somehow; his heart began to beat faster, his throat close up.

But why?

Everything about the shop felt homely. The dim lighting, the dark wood shelves and polished wooden flooring. The early morning chill kept at bay behind the door of the shop. But there was something lingering in the air; a scent, a feeling - something lay beneath the surface of what Woohyun could see and feel as he stood inspecting the books, wondering what to look for, or at, or in. He tried to push the unsettled feeling away, sure that it was something in the air - a claggy, clinging warmth maybe, a contrast to the outside air, so cool and crisp.

The voice that rang out froze him where he stood. It felt welcoming, relaxing - it was gentle and left him with a warmth circulating through his veins. But that wasn’t all that struck him, there was something else in the voice, something that felt nothing less than familiar. Maybe it was the tone, or the feeling, or the pitch, but there was something in it that set his heart beating faster, blood pumping behind his eardrums.

He paused, hand hovering over the spine of a leather bound book, head slowly turning to look over to the desk, behind which, presumably, the owner of the shop had been standing. He could see a hunched back, the person leant down behind it. His brow furrowed as his gaze lingered, waiting for them to straighten up once more. Weight shifting from one foot to another he thought maybe it was simply someone he’d reffed a fight for once in the past and he recognised their voice - he was always good with voices, but surely his heart wouldn’t be pounding so loudly if it were simply someone he’d met one night in the dimly lit dens.

But then the person stood, arms stretching over his head and Woohyun’s entire body froze. His grip on the edge of the shelf tightened, knuckles turning white as he held his breath, watching, focusing on the man stood behind the wooden counter, whose eyes gradually flitted up to meet his own.

It was then that his knees threatened to give way.

Hand slowly retracing from the shelf and moving to his mouth mask he slowly drew it down below his chin, eyes locked on the man’s own - dark irises he’d been picturing in his mind every single day for the last eight years, ever since he’d watched as he was dragged away from him at the tender age of sixteen.

“Sunggyu..?”

Afterglow.

He remembered warm hands and a soft voice reading to him when he was younger, it was what made him love books. It was something so innocent and pure that he retained from his childhood, memories that were hard to come by when he hadn’t seen the owner of the soft voice in over eight years. He missed her, his mother. He missed her soft hands, her gentle voice, the way she’d taught him to cook, how he’d hoped, when he was a young boy, to one day marry a woman like that. Things, of course, hadn’t turned out that way, and he knew he’d never marry a woman like his mother. He often said, when he was very small, that one day he’d marry his mum - his father and him used to playfully bicker over who would get to keep her; his father always let Woohyun win, with a smile and ruffle to his messy hair.

It was the love of books that led him to a bookshop in the quieter part of Silver Zone, out fo the way of the hustle and bustle of the main city streets where the shops and taller buildings resided. From outside the shop seemed rather small, but from one small peak through the front window he could see it reached rather far back. Above the door read a black sign with gold lettering, ‘Was It The Nightingale?’, read the sign. Romeo and Juliet a book he’d read during school, but had never held too much fondness towards. It, however, seemed a good name for a bookshop. A classic, one that surely everyone who belonged inside, would understand.

Pushing the door open a little bell tinkled overhead, drawing his eyes upward for a moment. The little bell swung to and fro for a moment, then stilled. Letting the door shut behind him his eyes scanned over the shop. A few people lingered by the shelves right at the back, but the shop seemed relatively quiet. He wasn’t sure yet whether that was a good sign or not. Taking a step further in he headed for the first shelf on his right, opposite the wooden counter near the front of the shop. A hand lifted, trailing over the spines of the books as he read over the titles, a small smile finding its way onto his lips.

He was almost certain he could get himself lost for hours amongst the shelves of stories.