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@physicalfeministresources
Anger and conflict are not the problem; they are normal aspects of life. Abuse doesn’t come from people’s inability to resolve conflicts but from one person’s decision to claim a higher status than another. (Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That)
"Never forget that it only takes one political, economic or religious crisis for women's rights to be put in jeopardy. Those rights are never to be taken for granted; you must remain vigilant throughout your life."
Simone de Beauvoir
“THE ABUSER’S PROBLEM IS NOT THAT HE RESPONDS INAPPROPRIATELY TO CONFLICT. HIS ABUSIVENESS IS OPERATING PRIOR TO THE CONFLICT: IT USUALLY CREATES THE CONFLICT, AND IT DETERMINES THE SHAPE THE CONFLICT TAKES.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“Because men cannot create life, they specialise in death. They compensate by destroying.”
- Sonia Johnson, Going Out Of Our Minds
Men really claim to be the more emotionally repressed sex while beating women and children and physically assaulting each other over petty squabbles and putting holes in the drywall and screaming obscenities at strangers and lighting a city on fire when their favorite sports teams wins or loses and shooting up schools and workplaces and raping women and children. They claim that these are just symptoms of how emotionally stifled they are and then claim women’s rampant eating disorders, self harm, suicide attempts etc are a sign we’re emotionally liberated and free to express our feelings in a safe and respectful environment. What level of delusional narcissist do you have to be on to come up with that?
“Almost no abuser is mean or frightening all the time. At least occasionally he is loving, gentle, and humorous and perhaps even capable of compassion and empathy. This intermittent, and usually unpredictable, kindness is critical to forming traumatic attachments. When a person, male or female, has suffered harsh, painful treatment over an extended period of time, he or she naturally feels a flood of love and gratitude toward anyone who brings relief, like the surge of affection one might feel for the hand that offers a glass of water on a scorching day. But in situations of abuse, the rescuer and the tormentor are the very same person.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“Liberal feminism applies a contradictory approach to its analysis of sexist practice. On the one hand, it fights for female bodily autonomy, often in the form of ‘reproductive rights’. On the other hand, it simultaneously promotes the industries that objectify and commoditise the female body. This is epitomised by pornography and pornographic objectification of the female body, which, for instance, has given rise to alarming rates of labiaplasty. While liberal feminism may be critical of cultural practices in the global South, such as female genital mutilation, some maintain that Western cultural ‘beauty’ practices that brutalise female bodies are an edifice of agency and choice.
The 2013 documentary, Vagina Diaries, explored the trend of labiaplasty: ‘a surgical procedure that will reduce and/or reshape the labia minora’. In the documentary, viewers saw a scene where a woman who had barely reached adulthood was laid across a surgeon’s table, legs splayed. The male practitioner worked quickly and coolly with a set of metal tools; there was a hissing noise and the young woman squinted in pain. She was clearly distressed, yet there was no one to comfort her in this sterile cosmetic surgery environment. Several weeks later the young woman reported that she was still not entirely comfortable with what happened. The documentary considers the role of media, pornography and relationships in shaping the perceptions of young women.
However, liberal feminist analysis looks to situate the woman’s story within the narrative of ‘personal agency’ and ‘my body, my choice’ rhetoric. It tends to disregard the interrelationships between sex industry standards of female appearance and increasing pressure on women to conform. Under liberal feminism these actions can be constituted as a result of women’s individual empowerment as consumers.
Girls are increasingly surrounded by the influence of the sex industry, with much of the visual culture of the West saturated with pornographic imagery. This is coupled with a dangerous, global epidemic of male entitlement. Thai reports show around 40 per cent of the sex industry is made up of underage girls. Male sexual entitlement is colonising the third world with the vigour of a transnational corporation. Liberal feminism more often wholly defends this industry and instead frames any criticism of the sex trade as ‘sex negative’ or even ‘whorephobic’. In liberal feminist rhetoric, the notion of child sex abuse is obscured with an all-encompassing defence of the sex trade rebranding child sex abuse as ‘underage sex work’. Liberal feminism uses discursive strategies to disguise systemic oppression and even brand it as a type of freedom. These strategies not only support exploitative industries, but the sex traffickers too. As Lydia Cacho found in her investigations of the child sex trade, traffickers increasingly capitalise on the liberal feminist language of ‘choice’ to justify their actions. ”
- Business As Usual, Rebranded As Ethics: the whitewashing of systemic injustice by Laura McNally
Photo By Ann E. Zelle 1986
“I hate men who are afraid of women’s strength.”
Anaïs Nin, Henry and June: From the Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin
Saw someone online claim Amber groomed D*pp, I swear that word has lost all meaning.
?????
My god. The dilution of these terms (gaslighting too) has honestly destroyed so much progress we made in public knowledge of DV. I'm also sick of people removing the gender aspect. Gender matters; power dynamics exist. Ignoring this doesn't make you more of a feminist, it just makes you dumb.
The choice to live-stream this trial was deliberate. The pro-Depp ad campaigns, the influencers vocally supporting him and talking about how sexy he is, the memeification of Amber’s rape and abuse, this entire social media circus, was all deliberate. Add in how the jury wasn’t sequestered, and spent all 6 weeks exposed to the pro-Depp, anti-Amber fandom? The deck of misinformation was stacked in his favor. And congrats to everyone but a few, you bought it.
the amount of men gleefully rejoicing at the news of the Johnny Depo trial and writing “finally MeToo is over” and “Johnny is only the first” and calling Amber a cunt and a slut is TERRIFYING and i will never ever ever ever forgive all the women that stood behind them and spewed vitriol at Amber Heard and helped push the idea that powerful men are harmed and not protected by institutions.
