Notes d'une femme libre

F. 36. Française. Féministe séparatiste.

[digitaldulc]

[femsolid]

At the boulangerie, an old woman with short grey hair and a thick Italian accent taps me on the shoulder and says "sir, you dropped something!"

She then says "sorry, I only saw you from behind and I called you sir" I say "That's okay, I get this a lot." She laughs and says "me too!" And we both look at each other like: "sexist stereotypes eh 😏." It's not easy to shake off.

[thecryptkeeper]

i love women

[prodigalwitch]

women will describe the most unempathetic, uncaring, detached behavior from their boyfriends and then be like "idk should i say something to him?" like babe i think you should kill him

[prodigalwitch]

if she killed him, it would simply be self-defence

[loserdogma]

Like either way I do hope he is never seen or heard from ever again

[kiefbowl]

I believe this is less detached than you think, he is emotionally abusive at best. He is doing this intentionally. He is attempting to gaslight her. She revealed something exploitable about herself, and he's exploiting it. Abusive men start with "small" arguments that seem impossible to have as a rational adult, and so the reaction from the victim is usually "I must be missing something...maybe if I explain." This is the purpose, to start making her feel detached from reality. This is why they come on reddit to ask if they're overreacting - his abuses are working. He has slowly moved the needle to the point she losing grasp on what is rational and true. I can't be sure, obviously, but I would bet the pillow thing is just one of many, many, many things he is doing to slowly skew her reality.

I only say all this not to say OP or anyone in the notes are wrong, but to remind people that the knee jerk reaction you have, of listening to a woman's bizarre situation and going "huh?? what are you talking about??" that's by design from the abuser. He wants you to believe she's crazy and out of touch and weak minded, and that he's just some oaf she's too stupid to dump. He doesn't mind if you think he's an oaf, if it gives him more control of her in the long run.

[balkanradfem]

I'm moving this Saturday, the plant lady is bringing my stuff by a car. I'm extremely grateful because trying to move all my hundreds of jars would be impossible otherwise. I'm going to move into the house, and then live there.

I'm feeling emotional and incredibly lucky. I'm doing something women were banned from doing just a few generation ago. There's not a single female predecesor in my family who owned a house of her own. I'm the first one to do this.

A woman had to marry a m*n in order to just live in a house, and even then she was not in charge of how things are done. This was the forbidden power, to own land and a shelter and to shape it to your own desires. They didn't want us to have this.

If women could have owned houses like this, there would be far less need to marry or interact with m*n; you could just go to your house insted. The threat of poverty and starvation is also way less if there's land you can grow in; there's actions you can take at every moment to keep yourself taken care of, and none of them involve catering to any kind of male. When you're not dependent on them for survival, it also becomes way more obvious how much of a pest they are, and how much you don't want one loitering in your house.

Even now when it's all legal and allowed, I don't think I know another woman who's done this on her own. Women I know who purchased houses, did so with their spouses, with an intention to start a family. Other women just moved to properties owned by their parents, with spouses or without, or kept living in their family homes. Which is fine, of course! But they never got to experience this feeling of being absolutely in charge. An entire area under your sole control. You decide who walks in and who doesn't. Nobody to report to, zero need to explain yourself.

Yeah if every woman had this, straight marriage would quickly sink to the least desirable option of life. Thank you feminists who fought for me to have this! I love it.

[femsolid]

That's the dream :(

But I can't afford it. How did you do it?

[schokoschaum]

For the hetero girlies out there who are desperate to be in a relationship:

I work in finance in a department that is all men plus me, a woman. I work very closely with them.

Half of them are taken, have a girlfriend or a beautiful wife with children. I know they treat their partners very well, are super romantic and thoughtful by the way they treat them at business events, BUT:

The moment the women leave and we’re back to everyday life in the office, it’s boy locker room talk.

And I’m in the middle of it.

Your boyfriend let me scroll through his FYP on TikTok and Explore page on IG to prove his point that every man’s feed is full of næked women and soft p**n. Even though he’s not liking the posts, he stays long enough on them for the algorithm to learn that he likes that content.

Your partner is getting a hard øn just by the photo of an outlook contact by the hot colleague from the legal department and is constantly raving about how hot she is.

Your man to whom you said yes to is started smoking just to go on smoke break together with the hot young assistant of his boss.

She’s very new to the office world because she can’t nail the business casual dress code yet but her taken boss doesn’t say anything against her baby pink frilly skirt that ends just under her butt cheeks.

Who are their female partners? I can tell you; I talked to them.

A college student in her masters program.

A doctor in training.

An entrepreneur who started her own business and has been the bread winner for 3 years.

A woman who gave her boyfriend or my boss three sweaters for me because I forgot to pack something warm for the group business trip.

A woman who left all her friends and family behind to move 500 km to be with her broke ass partner.

You’re not special, your future love won’t be special and that damn man isn’t either.

[zsazsazee]

[femsolid]

Oh that's nothing.

I once overhead two young men:

"What did you do today?" "I saw my girlfriend" "Did you empty your balls?" "Yep!" "Nice!"

A male coworker called the women his age "expired".

My previous manager, a married man, was under investigation by HR after he made a "joke" saying female employees who talked to customers on the phone could seduce them with our porn voices thus making our job easier. He was known for hitting on female coworkers and was eventually fired after being caught "playing games" on his phone all the time instead of working, that was how the supervisor put it when I asked for more details.

[dwewi66]

It pisses me off.

https://www.tiktok.com/@regretsthisaccount?_r=1&_t=ZS-97lCYK6jIS0

[feralseraph]

Sweetgrass Basket Artist Mary Jackson

“My inspiration comes from what was done before and evolves from old forms, like the traditional rice basket, which is a wide plate with a raised edge,” says Jackson, now 74. The Mount Pleasant native grew up in the Seven Mile area, where she learned basket-making from her mother, Evelyina Foreman, and both grandmothers, Irene Foreman and Estelle Rouse. 

[fuckcrumpets]

It's a shame your a terf. You'd be so much cooler if you were a cute lil enby like me, you could be spending your time getting kisses and cuddles and headpats from other enbies, and resisting capitalism, and sacrificing to ancient gods, and covering your body in cool tattoos and piercings, and maybe getting top surgery or nullification, and never having what society considers a real job. Instead you're stuck living the miserable life of a conformist, becoming angry at those more free then you are.

“It’s a shame [you’re] a [woman]. You’d be so much [more palatable] if you were [to assume a performative, trend-driven identity] like me, you could be spending your time [seeking validation] from [others], and [prioritising superficial aesthetics over meaningful action], and maybe [undergoing unnecessary, invasive medical procedures to disassociate from the reality of being female], and never having [financial independence]. Instead you’re stuck living the miserable life of [an adult], becoming angry at those [who choose to live in fantasy].”

[femsolid]

What are your views on alimony? I am asking because as always, the men in my country and several other countries are revolting against the concept of alimony even though our divorce rate is literally like 1%, one of the lowest globally. For me as a young woman, it only shows me that I should never get married. These men want to deliberately hinder progress of women while being married to them and then not compensate them for their labour at all.

In France it's called "prestation compensatoire". You might recognise the word "compensate", right? So alimony is when a couple is getting a divorce and a judge agrees that the woman was EXPLOITED by her husband and deserves some minor compensation for it. Yes, it's an overt admission of the parasite nature of the husband on his wife by society. No wonder men complain about it.

What's the exploitation? All the ways a husband makes a career while his wife can't (because she has to be an unpaid stay at home incubator, babysitter, teacher, cook, nurse, cleaner, prostitute etc.)

He can't leave her destitute and should give her some money, at least for some time, till she adjusts to the situation, say some benevolent societies. In France, only 15% of the time is a spouse forced to give alimony to his ex wife. Which is a ridiculously small percentage.

Personally, I thought it was only child support, which, you'll notice, men complain about too, right? And even refuse to pay, often. So it's about their anger at the idea of having to support someone they don't OWN any longer.

It makes sense, going back to the roots:

The marriage contract is originally an ownership contract. It's a father selling his daughter as property, into sexual slavery, to another man. That's why we still see the father leading his daughter to the altar today, or men asking a father for his daughter's hand, how romantic! Isn't it? It comes from slavery. And this form of slavery still exists in many places, with "child brides", what a nauseating term...

Nowadays, in most countries, but not all, women voluntarily sign this contract, forgetting why it was created in the first place and who it still benefits. They think it's a celebration of love. But men still view it as a form of ownership and a fantastic deal.

Thus they often react with violence and threats when it comes to divorce and are outraged at the notion that a master owes his slave. And when it comes to child support, they still view it as giving money to the cunt who left them and who is using it for god knows what, probably whoring around, women are greedy and vain after all.

So I don't have a particular view on alimony other than the usual:

do not marry your oppressors.

[heteropositivity69]

'female separatists are isolating themselves from society'

??? since when are men society

[femsolid]

Normal quoi. Un mois de juin en France. Hate d'être en juillet et août....

Macron a eu 10 ANS pour planifier et préparer la France au réchauffement climatique de l'été. Il a fait que dalle. Aujourd'hui à Lyon il fait plus chaud qu’en Andalousie, la région la plus au sud et la plus chaude de l'Espagne !

Les espagnols s'adaptaient à ces températures : les enfants allaient à l'école que le matin, les commerces fermaient l'aprèm et les gens restaient chez eux, dans des habitations qui conservaient le frais, des fois ils faisaient la sieste, jusqu'au soir et ils mangeaient et sortaient tard, genre vers 22h. Je le sais, j’y ai vécu il y a longtemps. J'imagine qu'ils sont encore mieux adaptés maintenant.

En France les logements sont toujours totalement inadaptés, pire, ils sont fait pour garder la chaleur. Y’a que les classes moyennes ou les riches qui ont la clim chez eux. Les écoles sont pas adaptées, nos enfants étudient dans des fours qui puent la sueur. Le rythme scolaire et de travail sont pas adaptés. Les hôpitaux. Les maisons de retraite. Les lieux de travail. Rien ne va.

Gouvernement d'incompétents, sans projets sur le long terme, sans futur.

En 2025 déjà le 3e été le plus chaud de l’histoire de France :

Plus de 5 700 décès sont attribuables à une exposition de la population à la chaleur sur l’ensemble de la période de surveillance de l’été, soit plus de 3 % de la mortalité toutes causes observée.

Plus de 24 000 recours aux soins d’urgence pour hyperthermies, déshydratations et hyponatrémies ont été enregistrés pendant l’été et en particulier pendant les canicules (augmentation d’un facteur 2,9 des passages aux urgences et 6,5 pour les consultations SOS médecins).

9 accidents du travail mortels en lien possible avec la chaleur ont été notifiés par la Direction Générale du Travail. Ces accidents du travail mortels ont concerné 8 hommes et 1 femme, âgés de 35 à 63 ans. Six de ces accidents du travail mortels sont survenus dans le cadre d’une activité professionnelle de construction et travaux ou d’agriculture.

Combien de temps on va continuer à faire semblant que le réchauffement climatique n’est qu'un détail ? Elisez un gouvernement de gauche écologique par pitié.

Et prenez la canicule au sérieux. Même si vous êtes jeunes, sportifs et en bonne santé. Moi j’ai fait un malaise à cause d’une insolation y’a quelques années juste en revenant des courses à pied.

Buvez, mangez même si vous avez perdu l’appetit, portez des vetements amples ou devenez nudistes chez vous, pour laisser evaporer la transpiration c'est ça qui raffraichit le corps et restez pas au soleil. La température annoncée est ressentie supérieure sous le soleil. 40° ça peut être 46° ressentis sous le soleil.

Prenez des nouvelles des personnages âgées, attention aux enfants. Et aux animaux de compagnie, ils souffrent aussi. Laissez de l’eau fraîche dehors pour les animaux et insectes locaux. Essayez de pas faire travailler les gens à partir de midi si c'est pas climatisé.

Si vous avez pas la clim chez vous, ouvrez les fenêtres la nuit, fermez les la journée et fermez les volets (ou mi clos au moins). Achetez des ventilateurs et éventails. Restez chez vous aux pires températures. Manger léger fait moins travailler le corps et donc chauffe moins. Soyez pas trop durs envers vous même si vous vous sentez moins motivés que d'habitude. C'est normal.

[femsolid]

Drew a pokemon I'd never heard of for my niece today. What an auntie will do. Apparently it's called Absol 🤷🏻 She was ecstatic.

[orangelit]

it’s always like ”what someone else does to their appearance doesn’t affect you”. but it does though. that’s how social norms work. if everyone does [x] then [x] will be expected of me too. and i selfishly don’t want a lower salary for not wearing makeup, for not dying my hair when it goes grey, for not getting fillers.

[femsolid]

Your dog is very cute. I usually don't like little dogs bc they're yappy but she is adorable, what breed is she??

Thank you! I'm told she's half chihuahua half spitz. Adopted as a pup. Now she's 10.

I think some small dogs are yappy because that's pretty much all they have in terms of intimidation isn't it?

And to be honest, people are a lot meaner with small dogs unfortunately. Something I learned with her, because I used to have a bigger dog.

Anyway, the cool thing about having a small dog is that I can take her anywhere with me almost. On my bike, on public transport, on a boat, on holidays etc. So we share a lot of fun.

[femsolid]

The systematic "you're ugly/fat/old/you look like a man" insult towards women means one thing: I view women as sex objects, therefore telling a woman that she's unfuckable is the worst thing I can say to her.

This automatic insult can come from both men and women, and what they mean is: you have no reason to exist. It's like saying: "kill yourself". And they expect us to interpret it like that. They expect us to take it very seriously, very personally, to be devastated to hear that we're not attractive and therefore failing at being the only thing we're good for: a sex object.

So when someone immediately insults a woman's appearance in some way, you can automatically understand it to mean that they view women as sex objects and it has nothing to do with the woman's actual appearance.

[femsolid]

What was that subreddit that had people talking about all the little things they do to make life more fun? Like using a cute pen, putting eyes stickers on stuff in the streets, paying compliments to strangers, I don't remember everything. It was so sweet and inspiring.