that’s rough, buddy

Dominique | they/them | 32 🌈 Pis☀️Gem🌕Cap✈️

[pieseas]

Platonic love is so underrated. Yet sometimes in the name of pseudo-feminism it is overrated. Which by that I mean, folks purposely ostracizing their partners to prove they are not a bird or pick me makes me sad. You should love your male partners if that is how you feel.

If that person turns out to not be your match that is not embarrassing for you it is embarrassing for them!

But back to my point. Friendships are so beautiful. Love for my friends (or the ones I could have) is so deep and soul enriching in such an airy way. Romantic love feels like honey. My love for my friends feels like a strong grasp twirling in wind on a hill in a beautiful valley falling into flowers. It feels like running away together from a house playing ding dong ditch. It's exhilarating having deep close friendships.

The issue is, is I don't know how I've made the magic I've made with my best friend over again with local people or even old friends. I feel like sometimes something is wrong with me and other times I just don't feel like anyone likes or cares about me enough. I'm quite boring. Which is fine with me. But when I talk to other people they don't seem to be that interesting either (objectively) they're just human like me and yet we feel like aliens to each other.

Hmm.

[pieseas]

I hate all of you i've ever loved all these years for not living in the same city as me. i hate all of you so much bc i don't know how to maintain friendships except through radical honesty and everyone is so nonchalant and guarded and weird no matter how kind you show up. no matter how empathetic you move.

other people over step your boundaries constantly and you gotta be understanding. you tiptoe too close to theirs and you're discarded and treated as an enemy. i'm exhausted.

i miss this app when I was a teenager. I miss being friends with all of you

[pieseas]

reaching out to friends and trying to level with them and being met with empty promises or no communication back is so lmao.

and then the ones who spend all their time ignoring you then getting upset when you don't wanna show up to their millionth party or go do activities that don't excite you because they don't know anything about you can can't figure out things you like .... now you be come the problem.

me to my ha bestie; i'm miserable actually life is hard can we just hang and chill or whatever

her: yes i'm going out of town but when i get back

... its been a year bro lmfao

[pieseas]

JA discourse on tiktok just has me so livid bc T you was right 6 years ago even if not talking about her specifically at that moment 😭 like she is proving that point yet again

[bideogaymes]

im currently negative and would be welcome to help getting back to, at least, a zero balance. hoping this job lead ive applied to works out soon since i know someone who already works there 🤞🏽:

paypal.me/sleepisforlovers

venmo: sleepisforlovers

Chip in to "Laid Off Job & Lost Grandma In The Same Month" until Jun 1, 2026

Chip in to "Laid Off Job & Lost Grandma In The Same Month" until Jun 1, 2026

[bideogaymes]

thank you to everyone who shared and donated to help me pay that 80% discount on my debt from a years old loan i took out to pay rent at my first apt!

in the interim of me still looking for work and dealing with chronic health issues, id appreciate any continuing support in raising money to pay rent for this month ❤️‍🔥

0/$2000

as of 5/21/26

[pieseas]

watching someone struggle to admit they like you is so crazy lmfao - even if it's just via a physical way it's like y’all are so scary of emotions my god

[pieseas]

tbh if this anon is a mutual id rather you just talk to me (which id expect all to do) so i doubt its a mutual....if idk you at all literally don't give advice i didn't ask for

[pieseas]

Hey, it's the anon from before. I truly mean this with kindness. I think you are turning people off with the level of communication you are requesting. Especially if that person is not enthusiastically and actively pursuing something serious with you. It comes off as intrusive at a certain point. Imo asking for a less than 10 hour response all the time,that is less than a partner or a fwb with an actual commitment to friendship is unrealistic. Sometimes our needs are not totally practical.

What you and everyone seems to not understand is nobody is asking for every message to come in less than 10 hours. Tho let's be serious with the amount of time people are on their phones having one message every 5+ hours is ridiculous and builds no sense of familiarity or connection.

It's day 2 of talking and we're still stuck on what hobbies we're into?

My entire point is give time to talk and then communicate when you're gonna be busy. Comeback with something meaningful to say than dropping the conversation off not end of the day check in and starting over every time with good morning and disappearing almost immediately after.

Regardless it's something I want and expect idc if there's two people on earth who grasp what I mean I'm not going to settle. Mind you people make compromises with me all the time. Agree to a routine they never deliver on and that's .... my fault? lmao

Anon idc what you think either tbh.

[pieseas]

mother's day is a complicated day to me. i am thankful for my mother but she is also the source of so much pain. by her own doing or just circumstance which aren't her fault entirely.

ugh i wish i wasn't an only child at least. but tbh i doubt my mom could handle two

[pieseas]

The way beauty has weighed on nearly every relationship I have ever had is exhausting.

I love and miss my aunt but the way she would talk about presentability has scared me. The "potential" she saw in me must have felt like a compliment to her but by not moving towards it I always felt like I disappointed her.

Friends who clearly give more time and energy into those whose beauty awards them social capital by association.

And ofc romantic/s*xual partners chasing high femme trophy wife type material are just over saturated in the dating pool. Always has been and always will be.

Professional spaces and appearance also go hand in hand.

There's no space for me lol. I don't exactly know what to do with this information.

And when it isn't this, it's either performing femininity perfectly role wise. Or shrinking myself as a Black femme to not be too opinionated. Or people are afraid to talk to me about issues even tho I am approachable. They just assume I'm not.

[pieseas]

Asking people what they want when it's available to read for you. Asking people what about your profile are they aligning with because theirs gives you nothing and then not having an answer.

Genuinely, I just pray for monogamous women actually because omg if this was it? I'd go play in traffic

[pieseas]

Dating Profiles are so.... (venting ... again)

Using “progressive” terminology to make yourself seem like a healed, community-led individual but you got “nothing serious, but if something happens it happens” in your bio.

How are y’all pushing 40 talking about “nothing serious” and then also want children? When are you going to get serious? Age 80? It’s like ya’ll are begging to get trapped.

The illusion of commitment is about as successful of a magic trick as playing peek-a-boo with a baby and I have object permanence. HOWEVER, I also don’t understand people who think talking occasionally but want to link to f*ck regularly. Mostly because nothing about my dating profile suggests that is what I am after.

Genuinely, it’s beyond my personal issues with dating but overall this culture of dating atm is TRAGIC, even just as a viewer.

I actually get so irritated by the fact that there’s been several people who I vibe with well. But when I bring up how I hate communication is gone for hours after every text, or worse 10+ hours of no updates, I become the problem? Voicing opinions is problematic now?

So you don’t ask me out anywhere. You don’t keep up conversation. You don’t prioritize me at all and then you say this is “stale” WHO’S FAULT IS THAT? It’s been like 2 years now and that still irritates me to the depth of my soul. You offer to do something for my birthday I have to remind you. I have to deal with your shitty attitude when I wanna see you even though I didn’t do anything to you. I have to talk about my mental health or I’m hiding something? But we aren’t close enough for you to tell me you’re busy helping a friend and “that’s why you left your phone in car for hours and didn’t bother to say anything about what’s going on with you?”

BRO i’m tired because on paper that was my match smh.

[pieseas]

"Go where you are seen and loved" is a great sentiment until it feels like there's only two people on Earth who see you and love you but you feel like your problems weigh too much for just two people and nobody else wants to hold any part of you emotionally.

[pieseas]

for the love of god bless me with local friends.

making friends as an adult is MISERABLE

some combinations of being non black, homo/transphobic, capitalists, ableist, neurotypical, respectability politic ridden, and or fatphobic

like i am so tired

[pieseas]

my allegiance to aries must be studied because nobody can play in my face like them and me think "but like let's try this one more time?"

they like my fraternal twin or something.

[pieseas]

Being made a villain by telling people how to care for you is crazy. Being made a villain by venting about how terribly people responded to you being vulnerable is crazy.

Thinking about every past situation has me in a tizzy at times because I'm really just not doing nothing to anybody except enjoying their presence but they pull back and I take notice and I am wrong for that?

Even if there was a misunderstanding I am immediately met with defensiveness and anger. I wish this was limited to attempted romantic interactions but it's really all of types for me.

Being bulled as a child by day care kids. Being bullied by my own family. It's exhausting. You feel so worthless so young and you grow up and people continue to act this way.

It's a miracle I am here tbh.

[pieseas]

I've seen your posts for a while. I'm really sorry dating has been so painful ❤️

I'm curious, what are the expectations you are asking of these people? When you say honesty, what are specific examples of people not being honest? You mention across multiple partners that this is an issue, but what are the specific requests you are making?

I don't ask these questions to belittle. I legitimately want to understand the specific issues because it's clear you're hurting.

It might help in figuring out some of the patterns, more specifically than 'I'm always the problem'.

The post about Aaron was concerning because while doing it for the plot can be a thing, it seems like this isn't the first time something has been done for the plot that later harmed you.

Again, I'm really sorry you're suffering.

Oh this is really such a sweet message. Tbh I just vent my raw super charged emotions to tumblr because quite frankly anyone who follows me has known me for awhile and I respect them and they respect me. Anyone else is just a stranger and it doesn't matter.

I'm honestly fine. As an update I dont even talk to Aaron anymore. My issue is just having expectations and not leaving or ending things when it's obvious they won't get met. I just try and work through it with people. I communicate my expectations as clear as I can. Folks hear those expectations and agree to them knowing they won't meet them. I just unfortunately like fun too and keep trying because getting to know people all over again is annoying.

Anyway, I am self aware. I just need to push feelings out to get over them. Some folks I miss most I get over like they never existed.