[pietraie]

Happy birthday Angel

[pietraie]

I wonder do you hate me still

[endless-unfolding]

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song     where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;     I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was

alive for a little while.

—Mary Oliver, from “Dogfish,” in Dream Work (Atlantic Monthly Press, 1986)

[circularsidewalks-deactivated20]

girl stop. stop looking for posts to validate your sedentary solitary lifestyle. stoppppppp it

[robert-hadley]

Santa Maria delle Grazie photo by Ashley Hicks

[pietraie]

It’s very easy to push it all on others, to choose to ignore the dark in yourself and focus on the wrong done unto rather than the wrong you put out. I felt I did that. I couldn’t stand the sessions of being a victim, being someone things were done to. I felt like I was going insane from believing I was the one wrong, the one pushing out evil. I don’t know if that will satisfy you, or vindicate your feelings to me. I quit the sessions and started to actually fix myself, in my way. It’s never black and white, one is good / one is bad, that’s too easy… I know what you think of me. I understand it. I hope maybe you’ll see this, somehow, and you might know that what happened actually made me pull myself together. I want to be better to be better to everyone around me, so I am never who you remember me as. I started actually going to the doctor and getting treatment for my body, I joined meetings to help my mind, I volunteer, I work full time in a place that doesn’t exploit and harass me. I read more, and read happier and richer things rather than dark material. I think of you sometimes and always always wish for your health and happiness. I know an important day is a week away. May this year bring the blessings you should have had long ago. I genuinely am sorry I met you because of what I caused for you.

[pietraie]

I see how you see me

[t-800]

JOHN AMPLAS as MARTIN Martin (1977) dir. George A. Romero

[idabjoerk]

[i-eviscerate]

[pietraie]

I still think of you, wonder what you’d say about my shoes or my hair. Like stains on each other we are. A red string in a white wash - we will never come out. Fate, a strange string - were we always going to scrape against one another like a wreck in the night? Could things have been different? She tells me no, she tells me it would have sunk me. I still believe it’s my fault. I twist the knife in my own heart, love.

[derangedrhythms]

I hope I haunt you.

Theodore Roethke, from 'Straw for the Fire: From the Notebooks of Theodore Roethke, 1943-63'

[ijaazat]

i could easily fall in love with any of you, that's just how i am built. don't talk to me ever

[bagofbonesmp3]

it's dirty valentine by richard siken day

[allmyknivesaremadeoutofbutter-d]

i want to kill my body. dont take it so drastically. i just want to always

[saisonciel]

Florence Saunders by Bassano, 1921

[worldhistoryfacts]

A medieval illustration (ca. 1181) showing the death of Odoacer, the Germanic king who deposed the last Western Roman emperor in 476. Though this illustration shows the Ostrogothic leader Theodoric killing him in a joust, Odoacer’s death was much more mundane; Theodoric just stabbed him.

{WHF} {HTE} {Medium}