pigeonshitposts

my brandnew sideblog dedicated to bbc merlin shitposting happily ever after main blog: liviapeleia if you like what you see and want more, I'd love for you to send me your ideas! I'll make sure to create the worst thing possible from them. If you don't like what you see, congratulations, you're normal.

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for @the-heartofcamelot 's Merlin Prequel Fest, Day 1

Prompt: "I am half agony, half hope..." from Jane Austen's Persuasion

Below, please find a 1000 % authentic film poster and, under the cut, Uther's extremely romantic letter to Gaius, which absolutely is a direct quote from the book, I promise (I'm lying).

Dearest G--

I can wait no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. If it were anyone less trustworthy, I'd suspect them of enchanting me. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, more than twenty years ago. (Yes, technically I broke your heart by marrying someone else but I needed a wife and you're a man so...)

Dare not say that a king forgets sooner than a subject, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you (and maybe my late wife but that's beside the point right now). Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been (or so someone might claim if they wanted to be found guilty of treason), but never inconstant.

You alone keep bringing me to the physician's tower. For you alone, I think and plan. (And for Camelot of course, the kingdom must always come first, as you will understand, but you can be second. Morgana is third. And I remember I also have a son, he's on that list too somewhere.)

Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I can't believe I have to spell it out for you, I should not have to do the emotional labour in this relationship. I had not waited, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. Usually I have a scribe for writing letters, but this is personal and none of his business.

I must go, uncertain of my fate (I expect though that you shall, as always, heed my wishes and follow my every whim); but I shall return hither as soon as possible. Please make sure that your idiot boy is somewhere else by then, send him to the tavern if necessary. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your chambers this evening or never.”

I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me (hyperbole, I cannot literally be overpowered, I'm the king). You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too wise, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among noblemen. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in U. P.

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based on this post. I'm sorry Destiel shippers but you don't truly know old man yaoi until you've gotten a taste of Utherus.

[mentalmilkshakes]

A bad photoshop will always be funnier than an AI image no matter what

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"I'm teaching him some poetry pottery!"

Utherus "Ghost" AU for Jess :)

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They borrowed Arthur's horse for a romantic outing in the woods. Needless to say, the poor animal returned completely traumatised and required extensive therapy.

(please don't look at the two dozen things that don't match up in this. I did my best. And by best I mean worst.)

For galahadsass and Gunný.

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Gaius Big Naturals. Inspired by argent.dragonlover on discord. I bet you regret saying those words now, huh.

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brokeback utherus or something. and yes i hate myself.

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made with love for @saurix5

[liviapeleia]

You were right, @groundbreakingdot872 , Gaius did take his name! They got married after their romantic cruise on the Titanic (where nothing tragic happened sind this ship is truly unsinkakble).

part 3 of Utherus shitposts (1, 2)

[liviapeleia]

"Draw me like one of your anatomy illustrations."

part 2 of Utherus edits (part 1)

[liviapeleia]

for @groundbreakingdot872 who planted the idea of a Gaius/Uther Titanic AU in my head. I hate you ❤️