ezra

i am a creature, an absolute gremlin, and i will kill you he/they non-binary/demiboy pfp by pkmhell on twt

[pikacookies]

pinned post

hi. it's me (i'm me, btw). my name is pika/ezra, and i (unfortunately) exist!!

on this blog you can see: - unhinged ramblings - really shitty jokes - bad coping mechanisms failing in real-time - the inner thoughts of a person who doesn't think - probably the beginning of the end of my life - the birth of the antichrist - tadc, md, pokemon, maybe some moths and cats. - a bunch of reblogs because i have brainworms wow! so fun! like and subscribe for more wacky hijinks!!!!!!!!!!

im putting the more personal and weird shit here so people don't find it out by just looking at my discord bio haha. hahahahahaha. hahahhahahahahahahhahahaha. it sure would suck if the people i knew could know more about me!

i am dating a boy and i am a demiboy. i'm gay bitfch. also i'm bi/pan. i'm asexual (sex repulsed) i have depression, anxiety, adhd and most likely autism i am a furry. my fursona is on the post linked. i post drawings of them on @brick-moth i have a youtube channel where i upload biweekly.

[pikacookies]

for some reason i have the psychological need to meow but my bf's discord is broken so i have no one to spam with meows

im going fucking crazy

[pikacookies]

ive been playing vampire survivors lately. my dopamine receptors are fried. it consistently tows the line between "too understimulating to play for a long time", "too overstimulating to play for a long time," and "too much brainpower required to play for a long time," which is literally why i play like 3 games a year.

this means that, for my fucked up dopamine receptors, vampire survivors is at the same level as "Free Solitaire" on steam. take that as you wish.

[pikacookies]

bro i hate making thumbnails what the fuck is this

[pikacookies]

i just realized my queue is empty so i need to make some jokes to put up later.

why did the chicken cross the read? to learn how to road!

[pikacookies]

*sigh* too tired to do anything, too energized to sleep... alas, i must simply scroll tumblr...

[pikacookies]

this pride month, we should strive to normalize these things in the eyes of the public and our community;

asexuals and aromantics

not liking garlic bread

letting the girlies stay inside out of the sun

feasting on blood red monster

not taking photos or looking in mirrors

saying "yes" when a trans person asks to enter your home

[pikacookies]

its crazy bcz my tumblr has been in my discord bio for like two weeks by now and yet not a single one of my irls is aware of brick. so either nobody has clicked on it or nobody has clicked "keep reading"

idk thats just funny to me. its especially funny because i keep sending my tumblr posts about tadc to one of my friends and he just. hasnt looked at my blog ig? like it's been a rumor/joke for so long and its just like. all the details are here lmao.

well i said it in that initial post and i guess ill say it again, if i leave enough hints and funnel people in a certain direction, they'll find that post by themselves without me needing to tell them anything. fuck it, i even put "it surprises me how you can just put secrets about yourself out publically and as long as its on a blog only the target demograp" as my discord status and now im posting this for whoever decides to click that silly little link after reading that! haha!!!

hey potato. youll probably find it soon. uhhh if ur an irl and u see this post, like it pls. just so. yknow. we can both know that you know the truth.

[remberedink]

Give it up for day 3, Scars! Sorry Tenn, as cool as you are, you're just as much uncool.

[pikacookies]

the choice to have school go throughout june and also not have a/c be a regular thing sure is a choice.

last semester, i think someone forgot to flush in one of the toilets in the boys locker room and jesus fucking christ it was rancid.

this semester, the constant heat and humidity has led the entire school to feel like florida and smell like a goon cave.

i am so lucky that i'm friends with someone who was friends with one of my (now current) teachers who happens to be the commtech teacher, adn since theres computers there, it has a/c, so i am so glad that i'm on good terms with that teacher (shoutout to them they're the best) and that i have connections because i can spend lunch with a/c.

ive been to florida, the school feels like florida. and sometimes it stinks like new york. and given the population density, it also feels like new york, because we have like 1-3 people per square meter or some bullshit. ok well only if you're only mesauring the halls during transition period, bcz during class it's like 0.4 people per square meter. but still!!!

[pikacookies]

i am...

so tired...

french written exam worth 12% of my grade... french oral presentation worth 18% of my grade... math eqao worth 15% of my grade... random science project..

ive never been this tired while also barely doing anything physical

i just want to curl up in bed in the sun and sleep but THE FUCKING LAWNMOWER AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[sugarsylvie]

More Ogerpon art

[dandeliont3aandsageleaves]

SPOILERS

The parallel between the end of the first episode when they're eating and it's this big feast where they all have the same food and they're all sitting in a line and they can't all look at each other and in order to talk they have to literally talk over one another

Versus the end of the last episode they all have something different on their plates and they're sitting in a circle where they can all participate in conversation with one another and no one's isolated and they're a family-

[pikacookies]

my take on abstraction

the treatment of the abstracted throughout tadc is really interesting to me because of how wildly it changes. in the pilot, the abstracted are presented as thoughtless, rageful beasts with no semblence of humanity remaining who have entirely given up, but now we know this is nowhere near the case, but i think episode 9 sheds some light on why we (and everyone in the circus) thought of the abstracted like this.

abstraction is probably one of the most blatant metaphors in the entire series, it's quite literally said by zooble that abstraction is "giving up," ragatha says it's "losing your mind," etc, etc. abstraction is a metaphor for either suicide or insanity; this is even presented visually by the abstracted being just a bunch of jagged polygons with eyes. as symbolism, eyes usually represent feeling watched, but more frequently represent anxiety.

people who have abstracted are seen as inhuman due to their inability to communicate and their tendancy for violent outbursts. as a result, caine puts them in the cellar, grouped together for the sake of containment.

this sounds a lot like the asylum system of the 20th century; people with mental illnesses were/are seen as inhuman due to their inability to communicate and their tendency for outbursts (not inherently violent). as a result, the government placed them into asylums, grouped together for the sake of containment.

we know, however, that people who have abstracted are not mindless beasts. in episode 3, we're shown that being in darkness calms them down, enough so to touch and recognize people. in episode 9, we are even shown the mind of an abstracted person, jax, and we can see that he is still as concious as he was before, but only in the dark.

the label of being "mentally ill" inherently changes how people see you as a person. when someone is deemed mentally ill, it's usually because either they reach out or they reach a breaking point to where they can no longer hide their mental illness. abstraction is a visual representation of this. even from the pilot, we knew that the abstracted were still human, but because they could not control their actions, we assumed they were just mindless beasts.

what made me think of this is the treatment of jax in episode 9. given the newfound ability to choose, and new understanding of the nature of abstraction, the group adapts to allow jax to live in his new form.

even the way that pomni tries to "save" jax somewhat reflects mental illness. before she sees into jax's memories, she is trying to reverse abstraction, but after she understands what it actually is, and that jax is still jax, she (i assume) proposes the idea to allow jax to continue living with them.

this too reflects the treatment of mental illness in reality. once we began to understand what exactly mental illness is, what caused it, etc, we realized that people with mental illnesses could still live with us, they just required more care than others.

the glitchy effect that touching an abstraction causes i believe is also meant to elude to this. it is meant to show that people can take care of this mini-form of abstraction, that anyone can abstract but that with care it is okay.

i think this is why abstraction is not reversible; it's meant to send a message. once someone is deemed "mentally ill," they usually can't go back. they can still continue to live, though. i think that's partially what "finding meaning in a stagnant life" means; it's not to say that the world around them is stagnant, because it isn't by the end of episode 9, but that they themselves can stagnate and still find meaning. that isn't to say that this is entirely what this means, i think it applies to a lot of things in the story, but still it's an interesting angle to look at.

in the past, being deemed mentally ill was basically the end of your life. in an asylum, you would either spend the rest of your days locked up, effectively in jail, or you would literally die as a result of the treatment. similarly, in the past, abstraction was the end of your life, as you were sent into the cellar.

now, however, being deemed mentally ill is almost an opportunity at another chance at life. in the case of depression, anxiety, or other disorders that may lead to suicide, being given treatment is somewhat literally being given another chance at life. similarly, now abstraction is another chance at life.

i want to specify that i believe abstraction is specifically meant to represent suicide. the reason i've been refering to it as "mental illnesses" is because suicide, according to our understanding of psychology and human instincts, suicide should not be possible unless there is a mental illness present. (i understand this might sound really bad, if you dont understand what i'm saying, then tell me and maybe i could explain and/or make a secondary post, but as of now this post is way too long) also, mental illnesses/disorders are already shown to be present in non-abstracted individuals, being rather explicitly shown for gangle and zooble.

[quweerbaiit]

Your secrets safe with me

sorry for the inacivity, im here

[pikacookies]

i neglected to study for my french oral presentation (worth 18% of my final grade) until the day before (today) and now i have to make some serious cuts to my script and hope it's still enough.

me reaping vs me sowing

[sharktunarts]

sticker design I've been wanting to do for Months