Sleepy...

Anti radq blog

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

Hello sleepyheads!

── 𐙚°｡♡ My name is Jules, or you can call me Feather .ᐟ

𑣲⋆ Agender, any/no pronouns, 18 years old .ᐟ

I am a recovered/reformed radqueer individual. I no longer hold their beliefs and consider myself an anti. I made this blog to share my experience recovering from that ideology. I also may occasionally post about my special interests/random ramblings. Feel free to ask about my experiences, and please be kind.

── 𐙚°｡♡ Anti radqueer, endo/willogenic systems, harmful paraphilias (zoo, pedo, etc), proship

𑣲⋆ Please do not interact with me if you support any of these harmful ideologies and identities. You will not convince me to revert to your mindset. I'm not here to harass you.

Please do interact if you are also a recovered radqueer, anti radqueer, trans, or also like my interests!

── 𐙚°｡♡ Special interests: Lalaloopsy, Snoopy, horror media, My little pony, vocaloid, care bears

𑣲⋆ Other things I like: Fnaf, Outlast trials, One piece, Splatoon, Nintendo games, South Park, The Cure, Alex G, MCR, Metallica, Radiohead, digital art

── 𐙚°｡☁︎⋅ Bedtime stories : Stories regarding my experience in the radq space and recovery

── 𐙚°｡☁︎⋅ Sleeptalking : Misc ramblings

── 𐙚°｡☁︎⋅ Dreaming : Replying to asks

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

If this isn't too personal of a question, did you have friends in the rdqr community? How did they react when you said you were leaving? Or did you just stop talking with them?

- sleepyanon

I'm very sorry for the late response! Yes, I had plenty of 'friends' in the radqueer community. I honestly didn't like many of them, but they accepted me so I got along with them the best I could. People in the radq space are for whatever reason obsessed with familial dynamics. I'd be pushed into being people's siblings, child, or in one instance a parental figure. It's all very parasocial. I'm not a huge fan of confrontation, so I didn't tell everyone I was leaving personally. I blocked anyone I had added on discord and then deleted my blog. My assumption is that people thought I got terminated and didn't suspect anything, but I could be wrong. I don't really care.

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

ur such a fucking bird u didn’t recover from shit you’re just a larp and a anti dick rider whose desperate to be seen as normal

Guys look it's my first ever hate ask!!

Mmm... Anti radqueer dick... Sign me up!

Seriously though, I'm unsure what I did to provoke an anonymous ask like this, but it just proves how people in this community are cowards who will never show their real accounts when saying hateful things. I did recover, and while I don't consider myself to be "normal" (I still have physical and mental health issues) I do consider myself healed from my harmful way of thinking in the past.

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

Hello sleepyheads!

── 𐙚°｡♡ Sharing how I broke free from the harmful way of thinking that is radqueerism in this post. Simply put, I got so much hate on my blog that it snapped me out of my delusions; more specifically, I got a very long anonymous ask from (I presume) a pro recovery blog. They had an oddly kind tone opposed to the hateful messages I usually got telling me to off myself or my trauma was deserved. They were rationally speaking to me. And that made me start rethinking what I had been promoting for nearly a year and a half.

𑣲⋆ I spoke to my therapist about how I had been sexualizing and romanticizing my trauma online, thinking it would help me process. She helped me realize that what I was doing was setting me back. Instead of processing and moving on, I was practically living in my trauma instead. It was then that I was able to finally start recovering from my delusions and give up this ideology I had adapted for so long.

Recovery was uncomfortable at first. I was used to people around me supporting and encouraging my self harming and delusional behaviors, and the new friends I was making outside of that community didn't. I knew this was good for me ultimately, but it hurt at first. I was tempted several times to just give up and retreat back to the safety of what was familiar. But I didn't. I knew that those people, that community, wasn't truly safe.

Now, I'm able to me comfortable with who I am, I don't need 'transids' to feel valid and make a persona online. I know who I am. I hope other radqueers, proshippers, endos, etc are able to find help the same way I did and escape the echo chamber.

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

Suggest you hide your likes and following list! Proshippers love stalking antis whether it's liking posts or following!

── 𐙚°｡♡ Thank you for the suggestion!! I just hid those pages so nobody can see :)

[stupidsnowmanolo]

ANTi Flag (Slight redesign)

A flag for those who despise Darkshippers, Kodacons, Non recovering Maps, Zoos, and Necros, and anything relating to these terms

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

Hello sleepyheads!

Getting increasingly more frustrated by radqueers and proshippers crosstagging. I don't want to see their ideology anymore!! Despite blocking so many of their tags they keep popping up. Unsure how to make it stop?

[pillowfeatherbedhead]

Hello sleepyheads!

── 𐙚°｡♡ I wanted to start documenting my experience in the radqueer community, starting with how I got sucked into it in the first place. I want to share how easy it is for these people to prey on those in a vulnerable state of mind and take advantage of them.

𑣲⋆ Around November 2023, I met someone on discord who introduced me to the radqueer way of thinking. I was severely depressed at the time and deep in psychosis, completely living my life in a different reality. I was desperate for any form of companionship. This person told me about transids, saying I could basically be anything I wanted to, I could make my own persona around these identities. They convinced me into believing things like transage, transrace, and transdisabled aren't 'technically' harmful. They don't 'technically' hurt other people physically, so it was okay. I believed them.

I found safety in radqueer spaces. These people were so 'kind' and 'accepting' of me, and didn't question any of my delusions. I could say I was a fictional character, living my life as Sanji one piece, and they fed into my psychosis like it was normal. This was what I thought I needed. I was so stupid during this period of time. I began to believe things like pedophilia were okay, since I was a minor and I felt I could consent.

People in the radqueer community see all who criticize them as being evil, homophobic, and ableist. They've created an echo chamber around themselves, feeding into each other's delusions continuously. It's so deeply unhealthy. They prey on vulnerable people, typically minors, convincing them that they can consent. I truly feel so guilty for ever holding this way of thinking, making blogs about it, making friends in the community with these twisted people.

My next post under this tag will be about how I managed to snap out of the psychosis of radqueerism