https://www.tumblr.com/nononsense-antiship-anonymous/815687773197664256/i-cant-stop-seeing-proshippers-and-selfshippers?source=share
You’re doing the thing where you see two groups say one similar sentence and then declare they’re the same. That’s lazy.
Let me break it down slowly.
Selfshipper / yumeshipper:
Someone who has a fictional character as a comfort or romantic F/O (fictional other). They imagine a relationship with that character—usually healthy, sweet, or angsty in a normal way. Most yumeshippers age themselves up or down to match, or keep it age-appropriate. They’re not sexualizing minors, not romanticizing abuse, not writing incest. They just like a fictional guy/gal/them.
Proshipper / dark shipper:
Someone who defends and creates content romanticizing pedophilia, incest, rape, abuse, etc., often explicitly sexual. They hide behind “fiction doesn’t affect reality” and “don’t like don’t read” while drawing porn of minors or grooming dynamics.
Now, can a selfshipper also be a dark shipper?
Yes – if that selfshipper is, say, a 14-year-old “shipping” themselves with an adult character aging down or themselves up (making said F/O a pedophile), or if they’re writing/romanticizing CNC, age play, incest roleplay, etc. with their F/O. But then they aren’t a normal selfshipper anymore. They’ve crossed into dark/proshit territory. Most selfshippers will call that out too. It’s not the norm.
You say selfshippers say “he doesn’t exist so I can be nasty with him.” Some do. Those people are weirdos. But most selfshippers aren’t saying that – they’re saying “he doesn’t exist so I can imagine a healthy relationship that makes me happy.” You’re cherry-picking the worst examples and pretending that’s the whole group.
As for your “my blorbo does NOT want you” – he doesn’t exist. He doesn’t want you either. That’s the point. No one is hurting a real person by drawing themselves holding hands with a fictional character. You’re getting possessive over lines of code and ink. That’s the real ick.
The mischaracterization complaint? Fair. Some selfshippers write characters OOC to be their perfect boyfriend. That’s annoying. But that’s a fandom-wide problem, not a selfship problem. Proshippers do it ten times worse by turning characters into pedophiles or rapists.
So no, selfshipping and proshipping are not the same. One is mostly harmless comfort. The other is romanticizing real-world harm. Learn the difference before you whine again.