a🩷

she/her. lesbian girly pop. having a silly lil time.

[soloey]

whoever is praying on my downfall PLEASE STOP

[brrbree]

There's a certain crumpling in my stomach that happens when I think about the all consuming notion that is: what I am made of.

Sometimes it's overwhelming, the rush of understanding, the knowing that comes when you gain sentience towards your childhood years. It feels like a gnawing ache, in nostalgia but also discomfort and shame. 

It appears to me that everything I am, the very core of my own self, had been birthed by disconnect. And that in itself is an unnatural enough a thought to warrant nausea. 

Every peep into the things that shaped what I am, who I am, stems from a rotting unpleasantness, accompanied by some pain. 

I have become myself in spite of, in reaction to, in pretense, of it all. Inspirations drawn from escapism, from false realities I placed, to set myself apart. It's a luxury I gave myself, a consolation, in a way.

Ideals and passions seemed to have escaped me entirely, until I ravaged my mind to unearth them. There was no coaxing, no steady hand of guidance there. It was desperation and crawling and my greed to be something entirely. 

Somehow, I can't find it in myself to feel guilty. at all.

'All the pain I know, is used to fuel my soul'

[manycolouredglass]

[handwrittenloveletter-deactivat]

heather havrilesky

[ahotknife]

you can claim that pride & prejudice (2005) is overplayed and overdone. whatever. i’ll let you have your opinions. but every time i see a smash cut of clips from that movie where darcy is looking at elizabeth like she is a lake in a desert and he’s been forbidden to swim makes me want to scream. i’m genuinely afraid i will die without knowing what it feels like to have someone look at me like that. do you hear what i’m saying. i’m eating my drywall

[paper-wounds]

[algrolo]

While you were studying the blade, I was studying you. You're weak on your left side and your footwork could use improvement. Also I think I've fallen in love with you. Who said that.

[paper-wounds]

[nousrose]

The opposite of anxiety is not calmness, it is desire. Anxiety and desire are two, often conflicting, orientations to the unknown. Both are tilted toward the future. Desire implies a willingness, or a need, to engage this unknown, while anxiety suggests a fear of it. Desire takes one out of oneself, into the possibility of relationship, but it also takes one deeper into oneself. Anxiety turns one back on oneself, but only onto the self that is already known. There is nothing mysterious about the anxious state; it leaves one teetering in an untenable and all too familiar isolation. There is rarely desire without some associated anxiety: We seem to be wired to have apprehension about that which we cannot control, so in this way, the two are not really complete opposites. But desire gives one a reason to tolerate anxiety and a willingness to push through it.

Open to Desire

Mark Epstein

[kiisuuumii]

Italo Calvino, "The Spiral," The Complete Cosmicomics

[bobbole]

Marisol Muro, Kitties recharging with the Moon

[petaltexturedskies]

William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury

[hcneymooners]

[arylleth]

to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you. by A History of My Brief Body by Billy-Ray Belcourt

[shorelinessightlines]

yes i DO think i’m smarter than u for not using chatgpt. i also think that makes me prettier, funnier, more competent, and generally better at everything. so.

[dollhousefemme]

Mrs. S by K. Patrick

[grecoromanyaoi]

i could find gay subtext in absolutely anything i could find gay subtext in the straightest thing ever created. im like those medieval scholars who insisted on finding christian interpretations of pagan ideas n text but. for gay ppl