This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don't like that then don't read :)
Kaufmo bets Ribbit she can't make Jax laugh. Unfortunately for Jax, he overhears. Even more unfortunately, he decides to brag about being "immune." You'll understand soon. >:D
Jax was having a very good day.
Mostly because Kaufmo was eating toast.
Kaufmo should've gotten up earlier.
Jax was sprawled across the entire couch, one leg hooked over the armrest and both ears flopped lazily against the cushions, listening to Kaufmo and Ribbit talk about him from the other room.
"Ragatha laughs way too easily."
"It was a really good silly face."
"I bet I could make her laugh too."
"You could probably make Ragatha laugh."
"You can't make Jax laugh."
Ribbit raised an eyebrow.
"You really think I can't?"
"I don't think anybody can."
"Not a real laugh," he added.
"I was hoping you'd say that."
"If I get a real laugh out of Jax by the end of the dayā¦"
"ā¦you pick our next adventure."
Neither of them noticed the rabbit ears poking over the back of the couch. Impressive, honestly.
Jax, still sprawled across the cushions, grinned up at the ceiling. They were going to spend the whole day trying to crack him, and they were going to fail miserably. This was going to be fun.
A moment later, chairs scraped against the floor.
Jax pushed himself off the couch and wandered into the hallway with the most innocent expression he could manage.
The second Ribbit spotted him, she smiled.
"ā¦Well, that's less than ideal."
"You know what's funny?" Ribbit said.
She blinked. "You didn't let me finish."
"Don't need to. Nothing you say is gonna make me laugh."
Ribbit caught Kaufmo's eye.
"ā¦He really heard the whole conversation."
"ā¦Things just got harder, didn't it?"
"ā¦Next time we should whisper."
"We'll see about that." Ribbit cleared her throat. "Ahem, okay. Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Kaufmo choked out a laugh and clapped both hands over his mouth.
Ribbit's eye twitched. "That's not the punchline."
She tried again. "Knock knock."
"ā¦You didn't even let me finish the setup."
Ribbit exhaled through her nose. "What do you call a rabbit who tells bad jokes?"
"I'm not participating in this."
She tried one more. Something about two adventurers walking into a bar. Jax stared through all of it with the same flat expression.
She rubbed a hand over her face.
"ā¦I hate that he was funny."
"Whatever you're doing." He pushed off the wall and gave Ribbit a smug little pat on the head as he walked past. "Nice try, though."
Behind him, everything went quiet.
Ribbit slowly faced Kaufmo.
Kaufmo watched him disappear around the corner.
"ā¦The ducks would've understood."
Kaufmo tried next. He cornered Jax in the hallway outside the kitchen, blocking the path with his whole body and grinning like he'd already won.
"I'm about to do something hilarious."
Kaufmo's grin didn't waver. He pulled a small rubber duck from behind his back and placed it on his own head. Then another duck. Then a third. He balanced all three in a wobbly pyramid on top of his skull and spread his arms wide.
Jax eyed the ducks. Then Kaufmo's proud, expectant face. Then the ducks again.
"If that's art, then I'm abstract."
"ā¦I spent five whole minutes balancing those."
"It's three bath toys on your head."
"Four, actually." Kaufmo pulled another duck from his pocket and placed it on top of his head with the others. The duck fell off and bounced on the floor with a thud.
Jax stepped on the fallen duck and continued walking.
Kaufmo sighed dramatically and bent down to rescue the duck.
The duck, unsurprisingly, didn't respond.
He heard Kaufmo sigh behind him. "He's not human."
"I'm a rabbit, actually."
"That explains the ears."
Jax just snorted and kept walking.
Kaufmo blinked down at the duck in his hands.
The duck stared back. Unhelpfully.
"I believed in the ducks."
Ribbit let out a small laugh.
"You balanced bath toys on your head."
"ā¦The duck let me down."
Despite herself, Ribbit smiled.
"ā¦Does that count as a laugh?"
But Kaufmo wasn't ready to admit defeat.
"Okay," he said, thinking out loud. "If jokes don't workā¦"
"ā¦I'm a little offended you skipped over my jokes."
"They're included under 'art.'"
Kaufmo snapped his fingers.
"ā¦Give me ten minutes."
Jax was wandering down one of the hallways when-
Kaufmo sprang out from around the corner with his arms in the air and the goofiest face Jax had ever seen.
Kaufmo slowly lowered his arms.
Jax patted him on the shoulder as he walked past.
Kaufmo watched him disappear down the hallway.
"ā¦Ribbit, you can come out now."
Ribbit stepped out from behind the opposite corner.
"I can't believe that didn't work."
"The duck let me down again."
"ā¦That somehow makes me feel worse."
"ā¦That's what I was afraid of."
By the afternoon, the jokes had run dry. Kaufmo's rubber ducks were scattered across three rooms. Ribbit had exhausted every punchline she could remember, and a few she'd made up on the spot. They'd tried silly faces. They'd tried surprise scares. They'd tried teaming up and pulling expressions so ridiculous Kaufmo's jaw ached afterward.
He wandered through the circus with the easy confidence of someone who'd already won. Kaufmo passed him in the hall and got a lazy salute. Ribbit attempted one last desperate pun in the common room and received a pat on the head for her trouble.
"You're wasting your time," Jax said, draped across a chair. "I told you. I'm immune."
"Nobody's immune to laughing," Ribbit said. "That'sā¦ not how it works."
"Pure willpower and a lack of joy."
"Pffft- You hear yourself, right?"
"Heheā¦ you kind of are."
"You're supposed to be helping me."
Kaufmo shrugged. "You almost had him with the chicken."
"It absolutely shouldn't."
"I told you. I'm immune."
"Fine, but this isn't over. Let's justā¦ have lunch."
"Best idea you've had all day," Jax said.
Nobody talked for a while.
Kaufmo stacked crackers into towers. The tower leaned dangerously to one side. Neither Kaufmo nor the crackers seemed particularly concerned.
Ribbit stared blankly at her food.
Jax leaned back in his chair.
"Y'know, I expected more."
"Then enjoy your victory."
Kaufmo and Ribbit started talking about completely different things.
Whether toast counted as a proper lunch.
They ended up talking about ducks again.
Jax had almost forgotten about the bet.
"Jax," Kaufmo said. "Mind passing the salt?"
Jax eyed the salt beside him.
Kaufmo reached across the table.
His knuckles brushed Jax's side.
Jax slapped both hands over his mouth.
Please tell me neither of them heard that.
The silence said they had.
Ribbit caught Kaufmo's eye. He was already looking at her.
Looking up suddenly seemed like a terrible idea.
Kaufmo's hand hovered in the air where it had bumped Jax.
"You just did," Ribbit said.
"And that was adorable," Kaufmo added.
"ā¦Pleeease?" Jax pulled out the biggest puppy eyes he could manage.
"ā¦I'll stop calling your duck thing sad."
Jax's eyes darted toward Ribbit. She was watching him, smiling. A slow smile that Jax did not like the look of at all.
"Kaufmo." Ribbit faced him. "Do it again."
"WAIT no- Don't do it again-"
Kaufmo reached over and poked Jax's side.
Jax nearly sprang out of his chair, his hands back over his mouth. His ears were trembling. His face could've fried an egg.
Kaufmo and Ribbit exchanged a glance.
Ribbit turned back to Jax, grinning.
"Ohā¦ myā¦ god." Ribbit's eyes widened.
Jax shook his head so quickly one ear flopped over his eyes.
"You've been hiding this all this time?"
"ā¦That was also something I noticed."
His ears went completely flat. A wobbly smile tugged at the corners of his mouth no matter how hard he fought it.
"You squeaked," Kaufmo said.
"I- It was aā¦ stress response!"
"W-Well rabbits squeak sometimes. It's a thing."
"When they're ticklish?" Ribbit asked innocently.
The silence stretched. Kaufmo and Ribbit just watched him, their smiles growing. Jax's ears twitched. His tail gave one traitorous little wag.
He was in so much trouble.
"So," Ribbit leaned forward on her elbows. "We never shook on any rulesā¦"
"The bet. We didn't shake on any rules. Which means there are no rules."
"That's not how bets work."
"It's how this bet works." She met Kaufmo's eyes. "What do you think? Does this count as making him laugh?"
Kaufmo scratched his chin.
"Hmmmā¦ I don't know. We didn't technically make him laugh. We justā¦ discovered something interesting."
Jax grinned nervously, pushing his chair back.
That tone. The one that meant she'd already won.
Ribbit and Kaufmo stood and walked toward him. They stared at him, and Jax suddenly felt a lot less like a smug rabbit and a lot more like lunch.
"So," Ribbit said, leaning against the table beside him. "All morning, we've been trying to make you laugh."
"And you've been so smug about it," Kaufmo said.
"You kept telling us you were immune."
"Turns outā¦" Kaufmo grinned.
"You're actually really ticklish."
Jax's ears twitched. "I-I hate both of you."
"No you don't," Ribbit said.
"Really?" Ribbit reached out and rested her hand on his side. Just rested it there. Jax went rigid, a strangled giggle caught in his throat.
"I'm not even doing anything. My hand is justā¦ here."
"Ihihi knohow what you're doing-"
"What am I doing? I'm barely touching you." She let her fingers flex, the lightest possible squeeze. Jax squeaked and curled away, his ears burning.
"Awww," Ribbit cooed, giving him a proper poke. "Is the little rabbit ticklish?"
"Awww, is the widdle bunny tickwish?"
"Dohont use thahat vohoice."
"Hmmā¦" Ribbit pretended to think. "No."
She poked the same spot again.
"ā¦That got a bigger squeak."
Kaufmo crouched beside him.
He lightly scribbled over Jax's side.
Her eyes wandered over him.
"ā¦Nothing. I just have a theory."
She traced a slow circle with one fingertip on his side, watching his face. His nose scrunched up. "Hehehe- stohop-"
"Stop what? I'm just exploring." She moved her finger to the other side and tapped once. Jax flinched with a snort.
"He snorted," Kaufmo said, delighted.
"I heard. Do the other side again."
"Dohon't do the other side-"
She did. Jax's whole body jolted. "NOhoho-!"
"Awww, does the bunny have a ticklish tummy?" Ribbit's fingers crept to his stomach, featherlight. Jax folded forward with a shriek.
"There it is!" Kaufmo clapped.
"It's a start." Ribbit grinned, but her hands stilled. Her eyes had drifted a little lower on his torso, thoughtful. "But I've noticed something."
"Whahahat?" Jax was still giggling, breathless.
"Every time I poke your side, you jump. But when I did it here," she tapped the spot just under his ribs, "you almost folded in half."
Jax's ears shot straight down.
"Yeah, you did." Kaufmo crouched on his other side, eyes bright. "Let me see."
Kaufmo's fingers found the spot under Jax's ribs on the opposite side. Jax clamped both arms down over his ribcage with a panicked giggle. His body justā¦ did it.
Kaufmo slowly found Ribbit's eyes.
Jax realized what he'd just done. His face could've fried an egg.
She lightly scribbled under his ribs.
Jax folded almost instantly.
"WAHAHAIT- RIBIHIT NOHOHO- NOHOT THEHERE"
Ribbit didn't even have to say anything. Kaufmo already understood.
Jax's gaze flicked from Ribbitā¦ to Kaufmoā¦ to the doorway.
He could probably make it.
No. No, he absolutely could not.
"We've been going about this all wrong," Kaufmo said, still crouched beside him, still grinning. "All morning we've been trying jokes and ducks and surprise scaresā¦"
"Turns out the answer was right here the whole time." Ribbit gave the spot one tiny squeeze.
Jax twisted away, scrambling backwards in the chair, shielding his ribs protectively.
Ribbit and Kaufmo exchanged a glance.
"ā¦Definitely the bad spot."
She reached for him again. Jax curled into his hands deeper.
She nudged one of his hands aside and scribbled the same spot.
Kaufmo joined in, lightly scribbling the exact same spot. Jax folded in half.
"ā¦You're actually protecting it."
"NOHOHOHOHOHO IT'S NOHOT-!"
Jax twisted sharply, trying to scramble off the chair.
Instead, he completely missed the edge.
He tumbled onto the floor with a startled yelp.
Ribbit covered her mouth.
"ā¦That wasn't the escape I think you were going for."
Kaufmo crouched beside him, trying hard not to laugh.
Jax looked at it. Then at Kaufmo. He knew exactly where this was going.
"Please what? I'm not doing anything." Kaufmo started tracing on Jax's side, featherlight. "See? Barely touching you."
"Yohohou're doing the thihihing-"
"THE- the tihihichkle thing-"
"Awww- he said it!" Ribbit clapped her hands together. "He said the word!"
Kaufmo laughed. "I think that counts!"
"No- not yet. I said a real laugh."
"Ohhh, you're right." Kaufmo grinned at Jax's flushed face. "We haven't gotten a proper real laugh yet, have we, bunny?"
Jax's ears went scarlet. "I SHOHOHOULD'VE KEHEHPT my mouth shuhut!"
"Wellā¦ Yeah, you should have."
She knelt beside him and started scribbling over his stomach. Jax tried to curl into a ball, but Kaufmo's hand stayed at his ribs while Ribbit scribbled across his tummy.
"GAHAHAHA- NOHOHOHO GUHUHUYS-"
"Yes?" Kaufmo asked sweetly.
"Please what? Please keep going?"
Ribbit's fingers scribbled over his stomach. Kaufmo kept lightly scribbling beneath his ribs. Jax kicked his feet helplessly against the floor.
"GAHAHAHAHAHA- NOHOHOHO- P-PLHEHEASE-"
"He's still fighting," Kaufmo laughed.
"Barely." Ribbit grinned. "Look at his face, Kaufmo. He's so pink."
Jax buried his face in one arm, shaking with laughter. "IHIHI'M FIHIHINE-"
"Oh?" Ribbit smiled. She caught Kaufmo's eye. He already understood.
Jax peeked between his fingers.
Jax eyed Ribbit, then Kaufmo, then back again.
Neither of them answered.
Before Jax could reactā¦
Jax folded almost in half, kicking wildly.
Kaufmo burst out laughing.
Ribbit lifted her head, smiling.
She met Kaufmo's gaze. He met hers right back.
A grin slowly spread across both of their faces.
Neither of them answered.
Kaufmo didn't say a word. He simply shifted one hand a little higher.
Ribbit noticed. Her smile widened.
"Oh noā¦" was all Jax could say before-
"PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT."
At the exact same moment, Kaufmo's fingers vibrated beneath Jax's ribs.
"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!"
"ā¦I've never heard you laugh like this."
ā¦That was probably a bad sign.
Jax answered with another helpless shriek.
His back arched clean off the floor. His feet hammered uselessly against the carpet as he tried to curl into himself, laughter spilling out faster than he could breathe.
Kaufmo couldn't stop laughing himself. "I can't believe you've been hiding this!"
Ribbit beamed. "And that adorable little blushā¦"
"IHIHI'M NOHOHOT BLUHUSHIHING-!"
Jax tried to hide his face against his shoulder. It only made Ribbit smile wider.
"You are absolutely blushing."
Kaufmo laughed. "You really do."
"I bet they can see it from space."
Kaufmo grinned. "And your ears are pink."
"THEY'RE ALWAYS PIHIHINK-"
"Awwww~," Ribbit cooed, "And look at that smile."
"IHIHI HAHATE BOHOHOTH OF YOU-"
Jax tried to hide his face in his hands but Kaufmo gently pulled them away. "Nuh uh. No hiding. We want to see that beeauuutiful smile."
"IHIHI'M NOHOHOT SMIHIHILING-"
"You are," Ribbit said. "You really are."
And she was right. Jax couldn't stop the laughter and hiccups spilling out of him. His ears were pink. He was completely, utterly wrecked. And the worst part? He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed this hard.
"GAHAHAHA- GUYS I CAN'T-"
"Reeeally," Ribbit grinned.
"OKHAHAHAY- OKHAHAHAY- YOU BOHOHOTH WIHIHIN-!"
Ribbit slowed. Kaufmo stopped.
"ā¦Did he just admit defeat?"
The room suddenly felt a whole lot quieter.
Jax slumped onto the floor, chest heaving, still giggling.
"See?" Kaufmo said. "You can laugh."
"I hahate you so muhuch right now."
But he was smiling. A real, exhausted smile.
Ribbit sat down in the chair next to him. "Soā¦ the bet."
Jax opened one eye. "What about it?"
"You didn't make me laugh. Kaufmo did."
"Kaufmo bumped you by accident. I did all the actual tickling."
"It's really not," Kaufmo said. "She definitely did most of the tickling."
"You trahaitors! Bohoth of you."
Ribbit grinned. "Soā¦ I'm picking the next adventure."
Jax pushed himself upright, still catching his breath. "So this whole day was just about a bet?"
"You spent all morning trying to make me laugh because you wanted to win a bet."
"And because we like hearing you laugh. But yes. Also the bet."
Jax looked from Ribbit to Kaufmo.
"You're both ridiculous."
Jax groaned, rubbing both hands over his burning face. "I cahahn't believe that just happenedā¦"
"I was doing fine this morning."
"ā¦You know what's even worse?"
Jax muttered into his hands. "ā¦You cohould've just asked."
Ribbit blinked. "Asked what?"
He slowly lowered his hands.
Kaufmo tilted his head. "Jax."
Jax's ears folded even tighter. He studied the table with incredible concentration.
"ā¦You cohould've justā¦"
His face somehow got even redder. His ears were scarlet.
Kaufmo cooed. "He's too embarrassed to say it."
Jax buried his face in his hands. "Shuhut uhuhup-"
Ribbit laughed quietly. "You don't have to."
Neither of them answered. Jax wished the floor would open up.
Still neither of them spoke. Jax risked glancing up. Both of them were staring.
"ā¦Why are you staring at me like that?"
Kaufmo blinked. "I think my brain stopped working."
Ribbit nodded. "Mine too."
Kaufmo's eyes widened. "Youā¦ would've said yes?"
Jax looked about two seconds away from abstracting. Then very slowlyā¦ He nodded.
The silence somehow made it worse.
Ribbit didn't even have to say anything. Kaufmo already understood.
Ribbit snorted. "ā¦Pfft-"
That was all it took. Kaufmo lasted another two seconds. Then he lost it too.
"Oh my goshā¦" Ribbit said.
Jax buried his face in his hands again. "I hate this conversation."
Neither of them answered. They just stared.
Jax groaned. "ā¦Stop staring at me."
"We're not doing anything."
Ribbit giggled. "You're so red."
Ribbit laughed. "Awwwā¦ you're blushing harder now than when we were tickling you."
"Can we please stop talking about this?"
"Next time we want to make you laugh, we'll just ask."
"Next time?" Jax's ears perked up.
"Next time." She poked his side lightly. "Now that we know the tactic works."
"The tickle tactic." She said it like it was obvious. Like Kaufmo already knew. "The one that always works."
"ā¦I really should've kept my mouth shut this morning."
Kaufmo pointed at Ribbit. "Told you she'd win."
"You noticed halfway through."
Jax groaned and dropped his head onto the table. "You're going to use that against me forever, aren't you."
"Great. Fantastic. I've created monsters."
"You didn't create anything," Ribbit said. "You just happened to be ticklish."
"And smug about being immune."
Jax lifted his head just enough to glare at them. "I really do hate you both."
But his ears were relaxed. His smile was soft. And when Ribbit reached over to ruffle the fur between his ears, he leaned into the touch without thinking.
"You know," Kaufmo said, leaning back in his chair, "we should keep track of this."
"The tactic. How well it works. We could make it a thing."
"Yeah. Whenever someone's feeling down, or smug, or just needs to laughā¦"
Ribbit nodded slowly. "The one that always works."
"The one that always works."
Jax glanced between them. His ears twitched. "You're serious."
"We're really having this conversation?"
"When you say it like that it sounds weird."
"It's scientifically proven."
Jax snorted, rolling his eyes. "Fine. But this isn't over."
Ribbit smiled. "That's cute."
"That's what makes it funny," Kaufmo added.
Jax rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed.
Kaufmo bent down and reached beneath the table. "Aha! Found him!"
He held the duck above his head like a priceless treasure.
Jax leaned back in his chair, ears relaxed.
Ribbit was still smiling at him.
Jax huffedā¦ then smiled anyway.
Jax had been right. It had been a very good day.
Thanks for reading my fic! Hope you enjoyed it! >u<
