We, Love To See It

Pinkturmoil

[pinkturmoil]

The words couldn’t be accessed, the heart couldn’t be poured out enough, to really illustrate my love for you. I thank you, your perfect love and timely gifts. I know you love me. Show me.

[victusinveritas]

[pinkturmoil]

Stronger than addiction stronger than the high. God I give the body and life to you,

It’s getting harder to look myself in the eye.

[pinkturmoil]

Even though I’m just a Ph.D. Student

I hope you have your wallet in heaven

So you can show the angels my picture & tell them I’m becoming a doctor

Even though I’m just a speech therapist,

I hope you know now, just how much your life & love motivate me

So each time I meet a family going through the journey we call dementia, I’m able to show gods love and compassion to comfort and guide them.

Even though I’m just a young lady

I hope you know you created a family that loves and supports me.

So I’m growing into an excellent woman.

Even though I’m just a daughter

I hope you know how your wisdom matured me.

So as we discussed- I’m not having any knuckleheads baby.

Even though im just your granddaughter

I hope you know we are eachothers biggest fans.

So I know that I didn’t lose you, you’re just cheering for me from heavenly stands.

Even though your memories faded

I hope you know i carry memories of you within me

So I will be sure to race people on the interstate and have a bit of road rage

Even though I’m joking about the last part, I’m not joking about the memories of you that are alive and well within me.

[pinkturmoil]

Even your baby mama

Would say you treated her well

You smile from ear to ear,

& make people lol

Can’t say

I d k cause baby I do

Thank God she messed It up

I’m glad she had your son

cause I got different plans for you

Her dad, girl dad, would look good on you

We got love, loyalty, & a little family too.

Ooo big brother gonna love her

Mama can’t get get enough of her

And herrrr dad is a girl dad

& It looks good on him.

.

I’m glad your baby mama

had your son cause I wanna give you a daughter.

[pinkturmoil]

distracting

A rabbit hole, your love It downs me

I can’t remember my issues

Your love is my tissue

My Tears 2x

don’t make It halfway down my face

Before your love gets in the way

You’ve got my focus

When I focus on how you make me smile

Don’t make me delulu to include you in my future

Just you

Distracted miss sentence can’t finish it cause

the way you cross my mind

Steal my attention with only the thought of your

hands in mine

Distracted

[pinkturmoil]

Asked what jelly you want you said strawberry

Red like my heart that’s beating racing

Cause we got a lot of things in common like our favorites

Where you been?

You real familiar like I met you in the past tense

Like in a past life me & you just made sense

They probably told me- let It go. If It come back It makes sense.

Like It was on a string our love returned

Like someone told us that It will come back if it’s meant to be in a past life

And we found love again

[pinkturmoil]

GPS says Turn right

to Jefferson street at the light

Ain’t been here in a while

But the memory of you is still hard to fight

No, not about the love

But about the time you had me messed up

I was young & my self respect was low🙃

my mama said

“let him go & hit the doe✌🏽”

I know this ain’t what she mean

It’s 2017, I hopped out my jeep , screamin

Just open it!

It’s me!

I see your car! I know you that can hear my scream!

Stop

Playing with me.

I’m open hand beating on a metal door at 10am

Twenty 17

Ill blame my crazy on the full eclipse

Don’t remember the day

Don’t remember the month

But I remember the year you never opened up

Mmm mmmmm.

That year moved fast, hard feelings faded

Tried my hardest to forget the thoughts that had me jaded

He wouldn’t em take to his home, that I decorated

He wouldn’t pour her a shot of the bottle that I say is my favorite.

Maybe He didn’t drive, cause he had a driver designated

Or maybe just smoked too much

And he’s too high to open up

I’m screaming

Chorus

A year later you finally told me

About that party in Knoxville tn

Where everybody chose to sleep It off at your place but me ….

everyone hid and heard

every word and every tear I tasted.

You let me

I let me

stand outside crying screaming

Just open It.. it’s me..

I see your car I hope that you can hear my screams.

Are you okay? Tell me yes and I’ll leave.

I don’t remember the day

I don’t remember the month

But I remember the year you never opened up

[pinkturmoil]

Shore

That haircut , don’t make me seasick anymore

Those eyes , deep like the oceans I’ve seen-

New car he drives ain’t white it’s like sand on the beach

It’s been a while - now I realize a few things

Hook

I still remember the night, we said goodbye

I don’t wanna go there anymore.

I don’t wanna go there anymore.

I thought it was over, thought It was through

But I caught your hook, you called my line

And I’m seeing the lighttt

As I come to the shore

[pinkturmoil]

I thought it was over?

[pinkturmoil]

Just you, and me. Out of the darkness and into the sun.

[thepersonalquotes]

[pinkturmoil]

Fucking tea

[pinkturmoil]

What don’t kill you makes you stronger still sounds like a lie.

[pinkturmoil]

I ghosted you last year. You haven’t had sex since then due to the trauma I caused. Is loving me still, good for you? Should I remove myself, again? Or stay aloof.

I think we can still be friends. Still have sex. Still talk everyday. Be a safe place.

Does that sound good for you?

I don’t know how loving you romantically will go. I don’t want to cause anymore damage.

[pinkturmoil]

Okay. It’s time to woman up.

1. Shower daily

2. Night time skin routine

3. Monthly wax

4. Monthly pedicure

5. Weekly meditation

6. Daily prayer meditation

7. Save money for luxury items

8. Cook twice a week at least

9. Learn how to cook veggie centered meals

10. Practice Spanish three times a week

11. Read a book every two months

12. Engage in something related to my field weekly, even a YouTube video or podcast

13. Study trading and candle sticks again

14. Invest in my brand, unblur my vision for my brand and monetizing it

15. Buy comfy loungewear

16. Be consistent and reliable

17. Follow through on promises to myself

18. Fall in love with myself.

On a side note, here are some things I want to do with my money

1. Buy vending machines and put them in places around my city

2. Get laser hair removal on my face

3. Invest in legally black

4. Buy my Tesla

[pinkturmoil]

Post-Masters Degree Transition: Awkward

finally i got the thing ive been waiting for. I mean, this, where im at now is where ive prayed to be for so long.

the love of my youth is living with me for the month, untill i move out next month. I drunk drove on my birthday 5/25 and damaged my steering rack. But its nice to see my account bigger than it ever has been for now. Only getting stronger.

I pray almost everyday, whether its simply a meal or not.

I take care of myself, though im experiencing minor ongoing bv. Like im not sure if it cleared up or not. No smell, minor discharge but i could be on my period, or coming on. But thats a day in the life of a woman.

Im really just living life and enjoying what i have left of time in this city. I became a woman here. Very nostalgic to think i will be talking about this city in past tense in less than 3 months.

Its great that i got my masters. Its great that ive arrived.

I also feel... like a slight failure with my businesss. But i know all it takes is for me to start. I might read gucci mane's guide to greatness again and get re-inspired. I want my own lane. and thats what I will have. Its growing to be me everyday. Do i want to buy a vending machine? if so the one i want is 12,000k. Its top of the line though. Id place it in more high end spots or the workroom of businesses. I still love hookah but i just do not advocate publicly for the use of nicotine. Luckily ive still been planning to create my nicotine free brand. Do i want to continue to do lashes? well, yes. Its a money maker.

I am now side tracked and will go to make my binder for my class with my little cousin. My first class! though this is my little cousin im going to try to be as proper and professional as possible. I love her so much. God bless her.

[thepersonalquotes]