1:02 AM
I never really talk about high school anymore because I don't care for it. It's done and over with. It had no compelling impact on my life (although a lot of shit has happened over the span of my high school career).
I see people constantly yearning for high school, which makes me feel sorry for them (that they are so upset with their current condition that they'd want to go back several years). I guess I like that I don't have this yearning. It must mean I'm somewhat happy with where I am right now, right?
Or I guess my high school years just weren't as memorable for me as they were for others. I guess I didn't have closure senior year like everyone else. In a way, feel like I was robbed out of a senior year. My best friend strung me along and treated me like shit. My whole "friend group" was pretty much torn. I didn't go to prom. Grades were sub-par from my initial expectations. The only thing I was thinking at graduation was how much I wanted to leave. The truth is, no one really resonated with me. They were pointless relationships- I feel like I gave all my effort and friendships for, not the wrong people, but.. it just amounted to nothing. I do miss just a few people, though. Amanda, Renee, Kristen.. I guess that's it. If only I wasn't so lazy, cowardly, and paranoid enough to pick up the phone and ask them to hang out.
I still feel like I don't have a significant relationship in my life. I still yearn for a friend that just clicks with me and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I miss Kelly. I miss Renee. is what I keep thinking.
But now I am no longer sure if I miss them as a whole or just the enjoyable relationships we once shared.
1:18 AM










