Miss Non -Existent @piranhaoxide - Tumblr Blog

"do u hate me? " "Why are u so cold/dry all of the sudden" idk bro the schizoid demon says u are no longer interesting to observe

( PLZ TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE )

deceiver-of-god

The constant battle between "I want to cut all my relationships and isolate forever" and "I wish I could have normal feelings towards people".

schizoid-hikikomori

Being known is a hell all on its own.

schizoid-hikikomori

No one understands *true* isolation. People like to claim that they achieved their success on their own, but that's never really true, is it?

Society is not built for schizoids. If you are alone, not charismatic enough, not interesting enough, why would anyone look your way?

No one will really understand what it's like to be schizoid. I resent the notion that people try to pretend like they do.

schizoid-hikikomori

I have little evidence to believe I'm human.

Trying to be human has only caused discomfort and the desire to rip off my own skin.

It has only reminded me just how much I don't belong in this world.

feignedremote

Common Frank Bidart banger (from "In the Ruins," in Half-Light: Collected Poems 1965-2016)

aurangg

I rarely think about other people and I have little to no attachment or connection to others. I don’t have people in mind. I rarely miss people. I don’t think “I wonder how X person is doing.” I will almost completely forget X person exists until they message me again.

asphyxi8d

aurangg

In my opinion, being schizoid is the most “rebellious” and “rejecting” of society and the nature of humans out of all personality disorders.

Society is founded on community and human beings are constantly said to be social creatures. To excel in society, you need to have connections and wisdom that comes with interaction and experience.

When your emotions are so stunted, your interest in people little to none, your circle practically non-existent… you reject the very foundation of what society is built upon and hence everything else within it. You don’t even have it in you to try and curate a circle of friends, even if for manipulative selfish purposes of using them and excelling ahead, because you’re just not interested. You just don’t have that in you. Little to nothing seems to interest you.

Your life has become a masquerade of pretending to be someone you’re not, feel something you don’t. If people even begin to notice what you really are, you’re labelled a “weirdo”, “freak”, “creep”, “loner”, “loser who can’t make friends”, “scary”.

I hate it when someone stares at me for too long. Because when they do their gazes are intense, filled with love ,hate or disgust?

Those gazes often want you to reciprocate how they feel. They want you to feel the intensity too... but I don't understand such deepness, your emotions don't matter to me. I function through logic so plz act logical with me.

#schizoid #schizoidpersonalitydisorder

#szpd #actually szpd

mary-maud

This variant of the schizoid is notable by the individual’s dreamily distant qualities. Upon initial observation, one might think that these schizoids are enjoying the contemplation of some inner vision, some inner reality that draws them more and more into their isolated state. As with other schizoids, they are extremely inattentive and disengaged from the real world. But more than the others, they have not only deteriorated into a state of obliviousness, appearing as if they were preoccupied inwardly but, in fact, they are preoccupied with nothing in particular. Though present in the world of others, they appear to be staring into empty space, relating neither to the actions and feelings of others, nor to those that emanate from within themselves. These features bring this schizoid into a close amalgamation with the schizotypal personality such that many of their characteristics blend and unite. As with many others who experience depersonalization, these schizoids are very much ‘‘outside observers,’’ viewing themselves as distant objects, disembodied and vacant as phenomena unconnected to their own feelings and thoughts. They have drifted into a state in which they ignore not only external phenomena but those that emanate from within themselves. Disconnected from whatever is tangible and real in the world, including their own corporeal being, they are also not preoccupied with their own imagination and fantasies. They are much like sleepwalkers who have a physical presence but are totally unaware of what they are doing and what they are thinking or feeling. Despite their inward turning, thoughts and feelings are little more than a diffuse vagueness, an unclear and fuzzy set of disconnected ideas, an inchoate woolgathering, if you will. Not only are their internal processes undefined and diffuse, but their obscurity and their inability to relate leads others to sense increasingly that something is missing within them. Not only are they a million miles away, unrelated and unfocused in their human interactions, but their inner world appears equally distant and obscure, if not largely absent.

Theodore Million, Disorders of Personality