#actually szpd

[sleepydayzzzz]

Having szpd is like wow I need to tell this new person who wants to be my friend about The Symptoms so there’s no confusion here. But then the Intrusive-Feeling Bear bites your head and you’re like oh yeah haha thats why I always mention it later

[nopointinname]

It surprises me when schizoids report getting along easily with autistic people. My experience has been anything but that. I love my nonverbal cues. I like playing with my words and use a lot of contrastive stress in the way I speak. What I'm saying often has more than one meaning. Intentionally. Before expressing a want or dislike verbally I'll be trying my damnest to do it nonverbally. I'm basically shouting at you nonverbally before I even open my mouth. Once I say something it's already really serious. (Unfortunately,) I equally assume that when someone doesn't use non-verbal cues and uses words instead that it's just as serious as when I'm forced to use words.

My dislike of straight forward verbal communication and often ambiguous wording is directly liked with my schizoidness. It's a way of showing as little of myself as possible and to also respect the person in front of me, basically treat them how I'd like to be treated, very unintrusively. I experience it as unpleasant and even threatening when someone only communicates verbally instead of giving me subtle cues first. I'll expect them to be an intrusive person who won't respect boundaries.

And more often than not, when the person is indeed on the spectrum they won't notice when I'm expressing discomfort and will push on until I just distance myself. They'll be oblivious, yet I'll perceive it as them being intentionally ignorant and rude.

From past experiences, even when I was already making something EXTREAMLY obvious nonverbally, the autistic people I've met didn't get it, they most often didn't even notice or completely misinterpreted my signals.

And this is why I'm confused why so many schizoids get along with autistic people. It's really the opposite for me where my indirect communication style clashes with their blindness to social cues and nonverbal communication.

[enemylloyd]

Have to go back to school so here's a little szpd enemy lloyd doodle

[aspd-bunnydog]

wish i knew different words for emotions. said id feel happy for someone if they won. and yeah id feel positively i guess, i like this person, but happy feels so. strong. but its stuck in my vocabulary, and its easier for others to understand what i mean

[foxcubvoid]

The schizoid experience of having friends in school but not wanting to hang out with them outside of school. School friends make breaks less boring and give me semi-comfortable options for group project partners but hanging out with these random people for no reason sounds awful and unnecessary. Also now that I'm in a very different type of school and there is no longer a reason for me to have friends I very much do not want friends. Do not talk to me. Do not try to be friends with me.

[foxcubvoid]

A weird experience I had in school one time as a schizoid person was when I was just standing infront of the classroom in the morning, waiting for the teacher (like everyone else) and zoning out and then a girl from my class came up to me and asked if I was okay. I was very much okay. I know she meant well and it's nice of her to check in on people that seem to be feeling down but like??? Why did I seem to be feeling down??? I was just existing like I always do lol

[icarus-suraki]

Feeling about 16-18% more schizoid [personality disorder/type] than usual these days.

[designationpending]

I've felt this weird, abstract craving for days. Life has been busy and hard and I'm dealing with some mental issues I thought I was over already. I assumed this strange sensation was related to that.

Well, I realized yesterday: I miss one of my friends. We've been friends since elementary school and got very close in highschool and the beginning of college (for him)/trade school (for me).

As kids, I was going through a lot of shit. A LOT of shit. But he always made it better. Even just hanging out and playing tennis together was a godsend for me. He let me stay over all the time when being at home was a bad idea. We played games, watched movies, talked.

And whenever I did stuff like break my knuckles in fights or stare at the wall with empty eyes or when I told him about what was going on at home, he always found something to joke about, to make me not feel bad for sharing, because he wanted to hear.

And anyways, I moved thousands of miles away for work, and we've kept in touch, but I keep having nightmares while I'm awake and nothing was better for that than flopping on the floor of his bedroom and chilling together.

It's absurd because typically when I feel bad, I need as much space from others as possible. I just need to reinforce the barrier between me and the rest of the world, get distance, breathe, get relief.

But I guess that's for conflicts in the present. For stuff in the past, that I can't do anything about, that creeps up behind to drown me in ice water, I just want to hang out with my friends until I remember who I am again.

I've never missed someone before and it feels so weird.

We called for a while yesterday and he's planning to visit, but still, I've gone my whole life without feeling that way. It's so, so weird.