JE SUIS DOCTEUR

peter | 30s | they local arts enthusiast and no-name indie hack.

[bellshazes]

days in the wake the album formerly known as palace brothers by palace brothers...........

[bellshazes]

honestly me every time there's a new worse version of ohio river boat song or we are inhuman or new partner and especially i see a darkness

[pirepoumon]

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I walked away from everything I lived for Only to find everything had grown Everything had grown Now I am a cinematographer Oh I am a cinematographer Oh I am a cinematographer Oh I am a cinematographer If you were alone You could walk away from Louisville

[crabussy]

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

[crabussy]

artist's impression

[crabussy]

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

[crabussy]

forgot what website I'm on apparently. peace and love on pervert planet

[pirepoumon]

one nice thing today is the guy who checked out our inflatable dancing tube man thing (like, the goofy things car dealerships might use) reported back on how it went. the bday party had a request for "non physical gifts" so they brought it as a "dance instructor" and improved a song to its movements which is already kind of an all-time anecdote and makes me want to find weirder fun things to donate.

[nerunodaisuki]

[pirepoumon]

every single day of my miserable life i do wish for a time when i thought the #waronlouisville was a stupid fucking twitter bit and not a real material threat to the life and well-being of many people not only in my city but across the fucking state for some fucking reason. legislators want louisville not just to heel but to suffer for the crime of also having a democratic process and authority over our own metro area. this state being such that i really have to give any, ANY credence to the idea that passing a trans safe haven bill will actually harm queer kentuckians is so infuriating i can't even think straight enough to evaluate it. i think it might be true! i think we should maybe do it anyway! i think maybe none of us here in the city can make that call for the more vulnerable rural folks who will be worse-hurt by any reactionary legislation from the state house and senate! i don't know enough about the dynamic between the city dems (miserable evil evil structure) and my local socialist councilman who authored the ordinance and the larger queer groups statewide to tell whose bias shows where! i hope the fucking capitol dome collapses with [redacted] inside!

[pirepoumon]

haven't stopped thinking about this. i appreciate the queer kentucky piece highlighting fairness campaign & KHJN critiques, and i think the LDSA's messaging relies too much on "local trans & queer people/orgs are on board" without addressing the disparate impact on racialized trans folks - but ultimately i do think rolling over and saying, "if we don't demand anything, if we roll over and stay quiet we can avoid painting targets on our backs" is antithetical to everything i believe in. as articulated by the interviewees, i don't think "you didn't consult the right queer people and orgs, you should have done it how we did it 25 years ago" is sufficiently convincing either.

and yeah maybe i'm an urban dipshit who's going to be to blame for spouting arguments whose backlash i won't experience. and maybe i don't fucking much believe in ordinances in the first place! but i want better than laying low hoping the evil in frankfort forgets about us for being so quiet and small and invisible! fuck you for that. FUCK that! i don't give a damn about the dsa or the ordinance so much as i loathe it being revealed that this is the dominant position of orgs that do otherwise good! this is the best we have? good god.

[1five1two]

'Distant Night'. Hanno Karlhuber. 2000.

[pirepoumon]

every single day of my miserable life i do wish for a time when i thought the #waronlouisville was a stupid fucking twitter bit and not a real material threat to the life and well-being of many people not only in my city but across the fucking state for some fucking reason. legislators want louisville not just to heel but to suffer for the crime of also having a democratic process and authority over our own metro area. this state being such that i really have to give any, ANY credence to the idea that passing a trans safe haven bill will actually harm queer kentuckians is so infuriating i can't even think straight enough to evaluate it. i think it might be true! i think we should maybe do it anyway! i think maybe none of us here in the city can make that call for the more vulnerable rural folks who will be worse-hurt by any reactionary legislation from the state house and senate! i don't know enough about the dynamic between the city dems (miserable evil evil structure) and my local socialist councilman who authored the ordinance and the larger queer groups statewide to tell whose bias shows where! i hope the fucking capitol dome collapses with [redacted] inside!

[pirepoumon]

institutionalized is not enough of a word. surely there is language there in the world i have not found yet that centers the common evils among prisons. i do think psychiatric institutionalization is more like incarceration than not, experiential, and same for "group homes" or whatever the non-psychiatric-type residential "placements" imposed upon youth in the foster and child welfare systems are. if you are forcing people to reside in a highly-controlled & regulated congregated setting, the avenues that return them to their outside communities are the same. i think of prison theater programs' recidivism rates, i think of ky shakespeare behind bars doing a, by all accounts, uplifting program with girls in residential. sovereignity, and hope, and our vocation to become more fully human.

[pirepoumon]

genuinely remarkable how much of the current [redacted] jargon is no more complex than any given dame ragnelle retelling. "kids love to have some control over things" oh yeah the vulnerable person perceived as monstrous/evil/deservedly cursed desires sovereignty. "voice and choice! nothing about them without them!" oh yeah the marginalized person who is overlooked desires sovereignty. i'm glad we've come so little distance since the middle ages. it's really great. it's great.

[pirepoumon]

of course it's not like in the middle ages across any number of discrete places and cultures that this was a universally-accepted & validated desire, for women to have control at all over their lives. but this is kind of what i'm always saying abt the tyranny of evidence-based practices. it's the same thing i feel when i read the first couple chapters of pedagogy of the oppressed and think about "the science of hope"; it is not that to prove these things empirically has no utility, because it demonstrably has some, but to dress this all up in the language of scientific revelation and data for individualistic ends is maddening. as in angry-making, crazy-making to watch whole industries, the capital and the labor and the exploitation, rediscover this and enforce the bounds of what constitutes "risk" or "voice" or "health." and it's not like i'm not complicit! i do this work to pay the bills and in the hope that i can, in that process, be some minuscule degree of harm reduction for some or at least make enough money and fuck off enough to do other things in my actual community.

ultimately the legal right of the family is incompatible with all of this anyway. termination of parental rights is evil because it denies the youth agency & forbids connection with people they may well want in their lives not because parental rights are sacred, "nontraditional placements"/hoteling/kids sleeping in fucking state offices are bad in the same way that locking them up in group homes/residentials/inpatient/any institution because it deprives them of life in community under their own agency. jesus christ. no "evidence-based" practice whose goal is to "strengthen families" or "stabilizing placements" or whatever the fuck will achieve a world where children and youth are free, with full access to their humanity that is so often denied them, because the "evidence" is always in service of status quo. but i don't know. there's no end to this rant it could go on and on but jesus christ some days.

[pirepoumon]

genuinely remarkable how much of the current [redacted] jargon is no more complex than any given dame ragnelle retelling. "kids love to have some control over things" oh yeah the vulnerable person perceived as monstrous/evil/deservedly cursed desires sovereignty. "voice and choice! nothing about them without them!" oh yeah the marginalized person who is overlooked desires sovereignty. i'm glad we've come so little distance since the middle ages. it's really great. it's great.

[indieproximity-blog]

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Murder By Death - Intergalactic Menopause We were drunk and carsick when we rolled into town. Pulling up to the drive-in there was no one around.

[pirepoumon]

open air studio today in the forest, or at least at the arboretum attached to the forest. mostly i knit, about a half-dozen rows over an hour and a half or so. where i sat on the lake, under the big sycamore, there was a giant (giant!) gar whose fins slipped above the water not like a shark but like a dragon, until the bullfrogs started chatting. so after a final stretch i drew it - the view, anyway, as i got no photos of it and it was long gone by then, but it is the patch of bright reflection where it stirred. i mean it was huge, the fin sticking up alone was so big, and the lake so quiet until the frogs.

[pirepoumon]

getting into certain local bands really is like. oh you like the local honeys? should we have lunch at hauck's to celebrate. should we throw a party at kaiju. someone put an ad out in the germantown times

[teganorsara]

Little Girls Actin' Like Men — The Local Honeys

when the going gets tough, these girls pack up just like all the men in their lives

[czarth]

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Palace Music-Cat’s Blues

i’m gonna turn my back for awhile, down while nothing bad can or will befall the lights welcome me all by myself and the fires only bronze they do not burn

[pirepoumon]

actually, this is a really representative anecdote for my life currently: walked to the corner store for some drinks and checked up on the honeysuckle at the [haunted house attraction], which appears to be ready to flower again! exciting! got weirded out by some new seed pods of plants i've yet to ID, etc.; caught another pretty cardinal, the mourning dove who lives by the ironworks, and also a very bold northern mockingbird. really great, everything's dewy from rain.

at the corner store the usual girl who i love is working the drive thru but she spots me and shows me her new crochet project, which is a wu-tang tapestry that looks sick as fuck & she promised to update me, i told her i had to undo all 200st on my last shawl row, we hype each other up. i leave to walk home and stop to grab a flower to press but she shouts my name thru the drive thru bc i left my stupid card at the counter. and i come home and i can't cool off bc it's so humid and warm even with the single industrial fan