I feel like I’m drowning today and my body hurts all over.

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@pissonasteeck
I feel like I’m drowning today and my body hurts all over.
Sadly what got me to shut down my brain and have sex was telling myself if I just do the things then I can maybe hurt myself afterwords when the feelings come back.
I really wanted to post a photo of a group of our friends playing magic, but in the photo my arms look massive and I look like shit. And then I just didn’t want to post it. I hate myself.
I did end up posting it because I want to preserve the memory. But I also hate it.
Just got asked what I wanted for Christmas. IT IS JULY 2nd!!!
A memory just popped up from 17 years ago, and I remember putting on that outfit, and wanting to be cute and attractive, and hoping that some boy would notice me and give me attention and affection. I was 14. Hoping that someone would notice me and go, wow. It hurts my heart. Hurts to think of how much I have always wanted to be wanted.
Fuck I went on here for a few seconds and meow I’m horny. Fuck.
Moon joy 🚀🌕
sad that my hips aren't being grabbed right now as you're thrusting into me :(
Kind of want to read/listen to acotar again because I want rhysand in my life
Fuck I was feeling fine this morning and then saw a text that I have to deal with for work and I immediately got stressed.
More thoughts-
He’s getting more comfortable with dirty talk and I love it
We had sex even though I was on my period, because I had a menstrual disc in
Apparently there are different size discs and I might need a bigger one because I fucking leaked??? Ugh.
sad that my hips aren't being grabbed right now as you're thrusting into me :(
Okay super dumb but something I have noticed is one- it’s way more comfy to give a bj on my knees than when leaning over in bed. I gag way less and it’s probably something to do how my throat is angled. Two- because of the gagging and if I try to deep throat too much my throat starts to hurt ☹️
Kuju Flower Park, Japan
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