Helmut Lang A/W 1994, Backstage Series photographed by Juergen Teller

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#extradirty
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Origami Around
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Stranger Things

titsay
Game of Thrones Daily

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Discoholic 🪩
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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NASA
Three Goblin Art
noise dept.
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@pisswaste
Helmut Lang A/W 1994, Backstage Series photographed by Juergen Teller
Charli XCX by Charlotte Rutherford.
Glen Coe in snowy conditions at Blackrock Cottage. Scotland.
lizzy: i guess i can’t really hate your obviously beautiful house darcy: 💙💗💕♡💓💖💜💘❤️💞💛💚
ROSAMUND PIKE ‘A Private War’ Première, 62nd BFI London Film Festival (October 20, 2018).
Scan from Late Bloomer by Maré Odomo
Intent
When communicating to someone about a sensitive topic, I’ve found it’s helpful to explain why you want to talk about it. If you say you’re worried, or hurt, or just needed to get it off your chest, it can help the other person not get defensive and then more completely process what you’re saying.
Many relationships die by a thousand little cuts. Little problems that on their surface are penny-ante. But the real offense, the hurt, is unresolved. And the little hurts pile up and the resentment builds until things fall apart.
It’s very easy for people to read a bad intent when you’re communicating a problem. Sometimes it’s a natural defense mechanism, if you think someone is just being shitty then you don’t have to really hear them. But it can just as often simply be an incorrect assumption. Communicating your intent can stop that from happening and help the conversation come to a more fruitful resolution.
But if you break it down, your intent is not just a lubricant to keep the conversation productive. Your intent is the point of the conversation. More often than not the problems we have with each other are not the real issue, it’s how those problems make us feel. When you communicate your intent, you’re fully explaining the issue that needs to be resolved.
“I’ve been missing you, could you skip your TV show tonight so we can play a video game together?” works better than “You don’t give me enough attention.” or “you watch too much TV.”
Or “I suspect it’s just my anxiety, but I’m worried that you’re angry with me because you’ve been kind of quiet.” is better than just “Why are you so distant?”
For years I worried that we couldn’t discuss problems because it would cause a fight. That was how the world I lived in as a kid worked. Having a partner who is open to hearing you is huge, but choice of wording helps even when you have a partner who wants to hear you.
very good advice. it really helps when you give the other person something actionable. a request, a suggestion, an offer to brainstorm. don’t complain; troubleshoot.
you don’t have to be emotionless or conciliatory. it’s ok to express anger. just be mature about it, and respect the other person. don’t go on a power trip, don’t leverage your legitimate gripes to make them grovel. keep your eyes on the prize. if you don’t know what the prize is, the next step is to tell them so and invite them to help you figure it out, not to moan until they miraculously do the right thing at random. even when you’re super upset you can still apply these skills.
wrong: “this place is a damn landfill because nobody but me does any housework!”
right: “there is some serious housekeeping fail going on around here. it’s kinda driving me bugfuck. i want to sit down and take a look at how we do the housework, because how we’re doing it right now sucks.”
see how the second one doesn’t blame? blame’s not important. responsibility is important, but that has to be worked out calmly or it’s not going to be functional. the first person is picking a fight; the second person is trying to solve a problem. you’ll notice they’re not smoothing ruffled feathers or acting apologetic, they’re clearly quite annoyed. but they’re aiming their anger at the situation, not the person.
even if they are angry with their housemate, working those feelings out is beyond the scope of the conversation. trying to combine venting with chore planning is, imo, the number one cause of screaming kitchen fights on planet earth.
Plague characters by Cheng Letian
Holy shit you guys, look what I found. You mean that Wikipedia, Wikimedia Commons, and Free Software projects are actually examples of functioning anarcho-communism? And I’m not the very first person to ever say that and I should probably stop getting asinine messages about it? You’re kidding!
I feel like I’m dragging some discourse right out of context but anyways guys here’s your reminder that everything you love about the internet is made possible by open-source software created by an anarcho communist gift economy
Friendly reminder that, despite what so many are claiming, there is nothing inherently anti-capitalistic about Wikipedia or anything like it. Pure Capitalism simply says that you can do whatever you want so long as you are not violating anyone’s rights. Want to contribute to an open-source project for free? Great! Go right ahead! If anything, Wikipedia goes to show how much people are willing to do for others without any need for government to force them to do it.
*without any need for government or coercion by threat of poverty to force them to do it.
I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here, but the problem most of us have with capitalism is that it’s killing millions and destroying our environment, not that people are prevented from contributing to their favorite open-source projects.
Since you mention it, though, capitalism does prevent people from contributing to community projects. Many bright minds are occupied elsewhere, with three exhausting part-time jobs that could easily be done by a machine, and at the end of the day they’re lucky if they can make rent and put food on the table and get a decent night’s sleep, with no time or energy left over to participate in open source projects or any other hobbies that make our world a better place.
I know I’m selfish, I’m unkind. Sucker love I always find, Someone to bruise and leave behind.
”I know now that no one can give you your honor. It’s something you earn for yourself by choosing to do what’s right.”
Balenciaga 2006
why you hatin on the red hot chili peppers, man?
although i don’t agree with your taste in music, i have to respect your ability to type out this message while longboarding across campus
Netflix is set to produce a live-action series based on Nickelodeon’s mid-2000s animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, and is bringing aboard original creators Michael DiMartino and Brya…
I’m so excited we can finally announce what’s in the works! Bryan and I are currently developing this new live-action version of Aang’s story. It’s going to be an epic ride!
“We’re thrilled for the opportunity to helm this live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender,” DiMartino and Konietzko said in a release announcing the project. “We can’t wait to realize Aang’s world as cinematically as we always imagined it to be, and with a culturally appropriate, non-whitewashed cast. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to build upon everyone’s great work on the original animated series and go even deeper into the characters, story, action, and world-building. Netflix is wholly dedicated to manifesting our vision for this retelling, and we’re incredibly grateful to be partnering with them.”