Original Minimalism

[pixelmarcus]

Disconnected people

Today I tell you about a story of my friend. It happened two weeks ago; it’s such about a fairly normal manner. I call him “Jerk”, is the dumbest person in the world I could know… :D just kidding. He is a nice guy, a warm person with a good sense of humor. Look at him at first, he’s hideous or repulsive; and when talking with him, I think I’m quite true. Maybe he’s good at everything except a deeply terrible mime.

“I’ve just done meaningless things” He said. “What the hell was that?” I replied somewhat surprisingly. “It’s because My, ya’d known, I wholeheartedly helped her, like others. I think she took a wrong way, and as think it over, I decided to tell her which I’m thinking of the problem she’s stuck in; I also wanted to suggest for her a new way.”

I smiled knowingly, “So…”. “So, you think what she’ll say… right after I showed all my considerations?”, He continued, “She thinks I’m nuts”… “Is she fucking kidding me?”

Omg, I can’t help laughing. Well, this matter is a kind of misunderstanding. He must be a caring guy. He treated his friends well; but apparently he expected them to do, likewise. “Why don’t you think she really doesn’t need your help?” I asked him. “When she needs you, she’ll talk to you.” I said promptly.

There’re 2 points needed clearing up. Why he did that, for him or for her? And how to she react against his kindness? I think he actually wanna help her, but in the unsuitable way.

Btw, let me ask you a question “If you were that guy, you did it deliberately, or you were merely willing to do that. I mean you don’t care about the value you got behind it?” Ya, It depends on what the relationship is. Even so, almost people I know did that on purpose. Everyone could say “No reason, because I want, I’d like to. I expect nothing whatever from them” That’s a lie, or they didn’t notice things coming out of their mind. Some people think the reason for doing a favor is to see the happiness appeared on another face. At least they have an acceptable reason.

I think the real meaning of that above fact is made clear in conjunction with stuff “WHAT, WHY and HOW”. When you want to help others, you should think briefly what and why exactly they need. It will make you avoid getting negative, uncomfortable things or something else you dislike. Especially It’s always true for busy people, who wanna do something for their friends without spending much time.

Well, no matter what you have a reason to do that or not, because it’s up to which relationship you connect. I just want to emphasize how to give it to them. For example, that guy maybe loves My, and I believe that My also tell him the problem for seeking a help. However, my idiot friend totally failed in speaking ways. I mean the preparation to do that.

Let me just say 2 situations quickly: Someone asked me a favor. I don’t know him. I’ve never met him and he’s not a friend of mine. The reason we met each other is to solve his problem. Nevertheless, if he gave me some information before, I wouldn’t say a stupid thing “Sory, I don’t know how to do well for you”. I’m not a consultant. I’m a strange guy, although I tried to understand what he said during 2-hour meeting.

The second situation happens to fellows. They intensely know each other. A guy meets the trouble, writes it on blog, Facebook. Another guy doesn’t spend time to read that stuff, and feels somewhat about it through some short talking. What happens you must be known. That guy, who always has hands full, helps other guys… cursorily; and he receives the feedback immediately : “I am deeply grateful for your priceless help. But I know what I should do, and I think you should mind your own business”. “Suit yourself, I have no much time to think or to do more for you”, the busy-guy said coldly… I think if he had stopped by his friend’s blog, his goodness wouldn’t have become valueless.

I love the quote “Victory loves preparation”. To me, it means the obvious, in order to achieve something, something victorious, you need to make good preparation. You don’t have to beat someone, and treat them as a competitor. Rather, what you did will express about how to know your friends, or fellows… Perhaps you think it is not necessary. But trust me, it’s certainly worth it; for making your relationships perfect.

And believe it or not, many above things are said in jest. Anw, do you want a longtime relationship or an one as quick as a wink?

[pixelmarcus]

Looking Mean Means Looking Smart

This is unfortunately a bias that seems natural in social interaction. I’m not sure what causes it and I’m trying to find more research on the subject. This article and the research by Teresa Amabile is a starting point on the subject.

Given it’s the baseline assumption, we assume that a person that has nothing to say or just word of praise is more likely to fall in the basket of someone that knows less or the same. On the other side, a person criticising obviously has something to say, so like falls in the bucket of someone that knows more.

Is this true? No, of course. But given it happens requires an active compensation from our side.

In other word, we need to try to get if someone happens to be in one of these four categories:

Knows less + doesn’t criticize

Knows less + criticize

Knows more + doesn’t criticize

Knows more + criticize

The cases 1 and 4 are our natural predisposition, while the cases 2 and 3 requires our active compensation.

Two more things:

On validity — This doesn’t mean that  the criticism is valid, or not valid. A person knowing less that criticise me is still giving me good information about how the thing being discussed can be perceived by a non-expert (which are the majority). But that’s a different evaluative mindset from an expert criticising you.

On positive criticism — The above doesn’t also connotate the criticism as negative or positive, constructive or destructive. That’s an important dimension, but transversal. I can know less, criticise, and still be constructive.

In short? Try to detect the kind of expertise behind the criticism you’re getting to frame it properly, and don’t put anyone on a pedestal for an expertise that isn’t substantiated. And well… try to have a group of people that can give you positive criticism, regardless. ;)

[pixelmarcus]

First Bump

[pixelmarcus]

By Steve Krug

"I thought usability was the enemy of design until I read the first edition of this book.  Don't Make Me Think! showed  me how to put myself in the position of the person who uses my  site. After reading it over a couple of hours and putting its  ideas to work for the past five years, I can say it has done more to  improve my abilities as a Web designer than any other book. In  this second edition, Steve Krug adds essential ammunition for those  whose bosses, clients, stakeholders, and marketing managers insist on  doing the wrong thing.  If you design, write, program, own, or  manage Web sites, you must read this book."  -- Jeffrey Zeldman,  author of Designing with Web Standards

You can buy the 3rd version on Amazon or download PDF file at Don't Make Me Think

[pixelmarcus]

By Thomas Park

I found this page when making a new UI of my tumblr blog. It’s awesome. You easily scan icons, click them and automatically copied in clipboard. - Marcus

[pixelmarcus]

By Joel Marsh

The following list isn’t everything you can learn in UX. It’s a quick overview, so you can go from zero-to-hero as quickly as possible. You will get a practical taste of all the big parts of UX, and a sense of where you need to learn more. - Joel