cherry valley forever
blake kathryn
Today's Document
Three Goblin Art
⁂
if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
No title available
wallacepolsom
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
tannertan36
almost home
seen from Morocco
seen from Australia
seen from Argentina
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Lithuania
seen from Indonesia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from Philippines
seen from Chile
seen from United States
seen from Chile
seen from Malaysia
seen from Chile
seen from Chile
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@pizzanotpatriarchy
i went to go pick up my HORMONES from the chemist today and the guy was quite sweet and very well intentioned but clearly way out of his element... when i was leaving i did the standard “thanks have a nice night” and he responded with “you too enjoy your... (very very quietly obviously realising what he was saying was highly insane) gender...” and tbh i havent stopped thinking abt being a gender enjoyer since
@loboflaco @makewavesandwar
scrappy doo has been found dead in miami
is he okay
hes alright but he died
Reblog this if you’re polyamorous, searching for a cryptid, trying to communicate with demons, willing to throw a Molotov cocktail at a police car, really want more tattoos/piercings, or just really love nonbinary people.
No one will ever know which one 👀
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything
Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love ... Feeling like I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything
*dramatically pulls my shirt collar aside to show the words “insert fangs here” written in marker on the side of my neck*
Puppy crashes local news report
(Source)
this made me so happy lol hes just like screw the news lets get to know this puppy XD
goddammit i want to have penetrative sex with them lol i keep thinking about it and like fuck. but im like so worried that i feel this way so soon because. that means my feelings are already intense, i already feel connected to them . and if we have that kind of sex, its like... 20% physical for me and 80% emotional, its really intense for me !! i mean people that i have felt love for, that i had penetrative sex with, i cried during sex. and i know thats not hot LOL but like my feelings were so intense they just came out of my eyes i couldnt help it haha i didnt want it to happen xD
i dont think that would happen with charlie exactly but . ive never ever had penetrative sex with someone and NOT felt closer to them. like it always makes my feelings stronger no matter what. and they are already going kind of crazy haha . im afraid if we did that they would go so crazy i wouldnt know what to do !! i would be like obsessed with my phone because they dont really use discord they text which is kind of annoying but i already like them so much im just dealing with it anyways xD even tho i HATE MY PHONE more than almost anything LMAO .
i mean i already get way too excited to see a message from them xD esp if its something nice about me xD haha oops I CANT HELP IT okay i like being told sweet things okay... xD but jeeeeez
ill see them tomorrow and thinking about that gives me so many butterflies inside i dont even know what to do aaaaaa i gotta CALM DOWN LOL i cant let them know how crazy im being XDD
but jeez my feelings are intense gosh
i mean i know we just started really seeing each other but. i hope if we continue that at least their feelings will match mine at some point. if not ofc i will accept it but yea its just like... being poly is awesome and id rather have people in my life than not but . i dont get to experience a balance of emotions LOL. i mean my long time good friend has stronger feelings for me than i do for her. im totally in love with christopher but he only wants a casual relationship, which i gladly take over nothing. then midge didnt want a serious thing and i know my feelings for her are a bit more intense than hers are for me and its fine we communicated boundaries. i just hope for something more equal this time feelings wise. and i know i cant expect to be matched so early when mine are bein so nuts xD but i hope down the line they can be matched... i would really like that !!
im not gonna have sex with them yet xD but i want to. xD but im sure we will have another intimate experience... i mean i hope so anyways SHIT . tomorrrrrowww eeeeee
feels
why they so cray lol
and like my feelings are always real but also are they real like gosh
ive barely gotten to know them and like i cant stop thinking about them all day i had to stop watching rupauls drag race because like i couldnt even focus on it LOL
and its so insane and im so afraid of scaring them away lol like why . are they so crazy rn.
just starin at my phone like hoping they are thinking of me at least half as much
dua lipa such vibes. so obsessed with the song pretty please and its just hitting extra special now
I know that I seem a little stressed out But you’re here now, and you’re turning me on I wanna feel a different kinda tension Yeah, you guessed it, the kind that’s fun… Put my mind at ease Pretty please I need your hands on me Sweet relief Pretty please Exactly where I want me, yeah Underneath your body, yeah
what even is happening lol feelings. u are so . dumb. and make no sense. grrrrr. my brain feels so crazy . im all over the place. i was feelin so good for most of the day and like livin off the high from yesterday and then i started getting all emotional and like , what if they dont feel the same, but i just wanted to enjoy the good feels but then once i started thinking that way i couldnt stop ):
and now im like okay i gotta chill. but i am seeing them tuesday., but goddammit why couldnt i say sunday like idk in the moment i was like yea i need to soak up my alone time with my parents gone but today im just filling with longing
frick frick frick gotta not be too crazyyyy , rein it the fuck in
like last night was so amazing and so intimate and even tho we just started getting to know each other like when they asked me if i wanted to have sex i .. kind of wanted to ! but i was like no i cant do that so soon >.< and that was def the right call but like why do i feel that way like idk so comfortable and connected with them... gahhhh
i couldnt even think thoughts and now im still havin trouble with that lol. but jeez such intense feelings. it was wonderful . and like , everything seems so promising but im trying not to be that way that i am where i just have all these ideals like goddamn my personality type lol
blehhhh i just want to get out these feelings but i cant they are just inside meee and its crazy time and i want to get to know them more and i want to spend more time with them. but what if they dont want that with me. but they did seem eager to see me again. but still. frick. i should have just said sunday xD now i have to wait.. so much longer.. to feel that way again... FUCK it was too good
mmmmmmm
im havin problems
fuckin fuck fuck fuck
omg not again like i cant handle this
when he came back into my life i was like its fine, i know we cant end up together forever, i know that, its fine, ill have strong feelings but i wont be a crazy person i can deal with it, its fine
such bullshit!!!!!!!
ive now transformed into a CRAZY PERSON im so emotional i cannot handle it. what do i do with all of these feelings. with all of these feelings for someone ill never actually fucking see in person let alone have a life together with them
i was like its fine ill have super strong feelings maybe even love but i wont fall again, i wont
hahahahahahahaha
im falling and i cant stop
i do anything to get him out of my head, but nothing works
today he sent me a comic and it confused me because it was about a couple presumably and one of them did say i love you. and we dont... say that... ofc ppl can share things they just think are cute but i feel like usually its because its relatable ... and it made me feel some type of way and then got me wondering and that plus this other thing he said like a year ago just gets me even more wondering and now i cant stop
and i know i just have to talk to him but i cant scare him away again like
when i was in a relationship with him it was one of the best times of my life ever, i know we arent in a relationship now but we are talking p much every day and i just feel such joy spending time with him and i dont want to lose it
i cant lose it again, i dont want to lose him again
im so scared
i know i cant keep my feelings hidden forever
i couldnt before. i just dont want it all to happen again... i cant handle this... but at the same time, its worth it. even if , well. when. when i lose him again, it will still have been worth it, just to feel this way
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
what is it about him goddammit
flirt
im sick of covid lol i wanna be able to meet cute ppl and flirt with them and kiss them and stuff but its just not gonna happen rn
earlier today lost was messaging us and relaying the words her sister was saying. and i low key flirted with her through lost but i was like 21 is a bit too young for me lol , only cause im old and cant keep up x)
then some hours later a 19 year old makes a flirty comment to me and i get the good butterflies
and im like this person is too young for me and also lives in scotland so why? i just met him really recently like idk today or yesterday xD idk what time is . but i just get this feeling towards him haha
maybe its cause i know hes a stoner and has done drugs, why does that make someone more attractive to me lol? XD DR00gz be SEXY apparently lol
i dont even know what he looks like tho xD it would be nice to know. maybe one day ill get a pic out of him lol
when im not so exhausted from being social ill prolly hit him up in dms cause i just like to set myself up for disaster
VEE u r almost 28 put it back in ur pants jeeeeezzz
i havent been journalling like this in awhile haha, just the bujo which i quite enjoy. usually i just talk to friends about life stuff now on discord which is why i dont really journal. but i was having flirty feels and butterflies and just wanted to write about that lol
EDIT O NO HE POSTED A PIC
HE SUPER CUTE
AND PROLLY HAS A SCOTTISH ACCENT
IMA DIE
ima just fantasize about smoking weed with and making out with this person i just met because i never meet people anymore except on okcupid and im tired of that lol ITS JUST NOT THE SAME as meeting someone , when you are doing something that you like to do. its annoying that its so much easier for me to connect to people i meet on the internet. but its cause we are from the same world lol. if i meet people offline, and computers/the internet are not a large part of their life its like... how do i even connect with them? LOL i literally spend every day all day on my pc
my stomach be like wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooOOOoooOOOOooo
god
i dont even want to be on tumblr lol
there is nowhere else to go
not that i have anything to write except
i want to kill everyone
i was just gonna write this to ena but then i thought you guys should see it too.
ena, i cannot thank you enough for the enormous thing you agreed to do for me. lately, i have been really really depressed. part of it is just because thats how i am, but another part of it is because i have been feeling hopeless about raising a family... i have always wanted to fall in love and raise a family. but im starting to realize there might not be a perfect person for me out there. unfortunately, i cannot raise a child on my own. mostly because of financial reasons. also because its doubtful i would get accepted to adopt a child in my circumstances, as a single person. while i have always really wanted to fall in love, i think my true dream is raising a family. so for awhile i have been really upset because it just doesnt seem like something that will ever be possible because its hard for me to meet people and im quite picky when it comes to relationships (i mean im not picky for casual relationships but if i am gonna spend my life with the person, then ya) . i have been so hopeless... lately, i have been especially thankful for my family. not that i wasnt thankful before but idk with the holidays and everything, it makes me very family feeling. and so i just got to thinking well, this is wonderful, and it would be a wonderful environment to raise a child in ... not that im ready right now, but when i started to consider that possibility.. a lot of my anxiety started to partially ease. i looked up if you can adopt as sisters, ive already looked up if you can adopt with a disability (you can its just harder ofc) . and then i just had to ask you. and i wasnt sure what you would say ... but i love you so much and i think a child would be lucky to have us as guardians, otherwise i wouldnt suggest it. and i just.. thank you so much ena, you have no idea what it means to me... how much hope it gives me.. maybe i will have a family, maybe it will give me the strength to recover.. right now i feel motivated. thank you.
dad, chill out lmao its not right now, its not even in two years. im not ready, enas not ready, nobody is ready or claimed to be!!! im still quite broken and have so many things to work on... you dont have to always remind me of that lol i obviously know... tehre is absolutely no way i would adopt a child if i thought i wasnt well enough. you gotta give me more credit than that man lol. im not gonna endanger my own child. even if i dont have a child yet i have always been thinking of them. because they come first... i know you are just worried and always being a realist but its not very helpful or encouraging.. i know i cant do it right now lol you dont have to tell me that.. but i wont even begin to consider the process until i am able to parent a child. but like give me the chance to get there... and i will.
im so sad and so empty and ther eis nothing to do about it
i just wanna die lol
guess im back here
after years
i have returned to use this as my journal
cause fuck pantheon lol and not really fuck caedon but i dont need to post there
its like the truth/my opinion is more important than keeping healthy relationships
i cant keep my mouth shut
even when it involves typing
like i obviously have to try to type it it doesnt just ‘come out’ but, it kinda does, just comes out in my fingers, but i LET IT obviously,. i let it go
god i hate feeling this way
and now i just want to leave ??? but im not going to cause id regret it
but there is no place for me and that blows
