omg not again like i cant handle this
when he came back into my life i was like its fine, i know we cant end up together forever, i know that, its fine, ill have strong feelings but i wont be a crazy person i can deal with it, its fine
ive now transformed into a CRAZY PERSON im so emotional i cannot handle it. what do i do with all of these feelings. with all of these feelings for someone ill never actually fucking see in person let alone have a life together with them
i was like its fine ill have super strong feelings maybe even love but i wont fall again, i wont
im falling and i cant stop
i do anything to get him out of my head, but nothing works
today he sent me a comic and it confused me because it was about a couple presumably and one of them did say i love you. and we dont... say that... ofc ppl can share things they just think are cute but i feel like usually its because its relatable ... and it made me feel some type of way and then got me wondering and that plus this other thing he said like a year ago just gets me even more wondering and now i cant stop
and i know i just have to talk to him but i cant scare him away again like
when i was in a relationship with him it was one of the best times of my life ever, i know we arent in a relationship now but we are talking p much every day and i just feel such joy spending time with him and i dont want to lose it
i cant lose it again, i dont want to lose him again
i know i cant keep my feelings hidden forever
i couldnt before. i just dont want it all to happen again... i cant handle this... but at the same time, its worth it. even if , well. when. when i lose him again, it will still have been worth it, just to feel this way
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
what is it about him goddammit