Hello lovely people! Being that today is the start of a whole new decade, I thought it was only fit to talk about something that most of us hate, but can’t stop no matter how hard we try to fight it, and that is CHANGE. Grab a wine (or whatever your drink of choice may be) and let’s talk about it. Although change is something a lot of us (a.k.a. me) hate with a burning passion, it’s the only thing in life that’s guaranteed. It’s terrifying, I know. When change is slamming on your door and you’re trying so hard to keep that door shut, it’s actually taking more energy out of you than it would for you to just open it. Trust me, I really do know that this is so much easier said than done. I’m a little blonde stress ball who has done everything in her power to fight change in my life, and do you want to know something? No matter what I did, change happened anyway.
Being that it’s a new year, I was reflecting, as most of us do about the past year and how much things have changed without me even trying. If I had said all of this to myself less than a year ago, I would tell myself to “sit the hell down and shut up because life is reaaaaaally kicking my ass right now”. This time last year, I was waking up on New Year’s day with who I thought was the love of my life. I was spreading myself thin between school, work and a serious relationship. Now, a year later, my life has done a complete 180 and it’s a change that I was fighting, but I’m making it through.
We cross paths with everyone that we meet for a reason. It wasn’t by accident that you had a relationship or friendship with anyone, it was meant to happen and guess what. It’s going to be happening a lot throughout your life. Some people will stay and some people will only be in it for days, weeks, months, or even years (Did you dig the Friends reference?) Anyway, people come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves and also because at that time they are exactly what we need for whatever the reason may be. It could also be the same for the other person, maybe they met you because you needed to teach them something about themselves or whatever the divine reason may be. When things are starting to feel a little bit “off” in your life, it means that the universe is telling you that it’s time for you to grow. Of course change is a lot easier when we know it’s something positive. Like going to the gym for instance (believe me I hate sweating too, but just roll with it). At first, you’re tired and don’t want to drag your ass out of bed and run on the treadmill at 6 A.M before your long day, but you know that in the long run you’ll be a healthier person because you did it. Sometimes you have to face the scary stuff. What if it’s something that terrifies you? Like moving to a new city? Or being without someone you thought you could never live without? What if you aren’t ready for this change? The answer to that is, if you feel it happening, you’re ready for it.
When you start to feel uncomfortable mentally, or even sometimes physically, it means that you are ready for a change that is coming your way. As you can see change isn’t just about getting the new, stressful job that you’re terrified of or moving to a new city. When the people around you change, it’s scary. An important thing that I’ve learned in recent years is that losing people sucks. That’s all there is to it. IT SUCKS, but it’s something that comes with life. It’s all pertaining to change. When I’m talking about losing someone I’m more on the side of discussing losing a relationship with someone, because although losing someone in a sense that they’ve passed away is in some ways the same, in other ways it’s more complex. During times of immense change, the most important thing to remember is that you are so much stronger than you think you are. You can handle whatever life is throwing at you. Don’t get me wrong, there are good days and bad days. There are also some great days and some days that you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it through, but you will. For now you can believe what you want because the only way you’d know it is if you see it for yourself, and I have no doubt in my mind that one day you will.
Life has a bat shit crazy way of doing things. It has an out of this world way of making you appreciate every day with the people you love, and it also has a way of showing you what you are capable of on your own. “Everything that is meant for you, won’t miss you” (someone said that I think and if they didn’t they totally should). And lovely people, you need to embrace it no matter how hard and scary it is because trust me, as I said before, you’re stronger than you think.
Here are some cliche but totally useful tips for dealing with change that I know I would want to hear if I was talking to myself this past year:
1. You need to remember people love the absolute shit out of you. Whether you have a huge, tight knit family, or live alone with your dog, someone or some cute little furry creature is loving you and they would do anything in their power to help you.
2. When you’re breaking down, let people in. Vent: YOU AREN’T BEING ANNOYING! Everyone needs someone to face the hard shit with, no matter how tough you think you are. I guarantee you that someone who loves you wants to listen. So why deal with it alone? When you know for damn sure one of your closest girls or guys would be so down to cry it out with you over a margarita or even a wine date via FaceTime, if distance is an issue!
3. Just to reiterate #2, I mean it. Like seriously. Just CRY IT THE HELL OUT. Just do it. You’ll feel so much lighter when you do.
4. This is the most important one: find a way to really believe that everything is going to be okay. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even months from now, but someday you’ll feel okay again.
The whole point of this rant is that change is always constant in our lives. Dealing with change in a productive and healthy way can make life a lot easier. Whether you’re ready for it or not, it’s happening. Right now. In all different forms. Even when it’s hard to see it, you have to remember that change is always coming. If nothing ever changed, we wouldn’t evolve as people. Trust me, you are such an amazing ass person and you can handle whatever life throws at you. Trust the universe. It knows what you need, exactly when you need it. Here’s to evolving in 2020. We’ve got this!
