A Planeswalker's Guide to the Mundane

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Kingdom Hearts Color Pie Time

Sing it with me folk SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS THE WAY THAT YOUR MAKING ME FEEEELLLLL TONIGHT! that’s right kids, color me plot confused cause we are gonna try a little warm up for those color pie things I used to do ages upon ages ago long when I only had like 3 followers

Kingdom hearts is real damn confusing and to get the wheels all squeaking and rolling im gonna start simple (and clean) with the main party, Sora, Donald and Goofy in that exact order anyway this isn’t going to have any spoilers for any games that are less than like a decade old so if you didn’t play 3, don’t worry yet

First up is Sora 

Sora is sorta like Goku where as time went on his character got more defined, not as a result of plot, but as a result of needing to have a little more agency. Im gonna go with the sorta…. average of Sora So Sora is mostly Green Red. How much green or red tends to vary based on the game, but GR.  He is super impulsive, likes to fight, even has a down right classic anime rivalry with him acting as the brash dumb one more often than not. he always jumps into situations head first, even when being told “you should jump in this” or “Don’t jump in this until you do X” he cant do it, that’s impossible, Sora can try to wait but when adventure or helping his friends call, he cant ignore that. 

Sora is also super emotional, he talks about friends and friendship all the time.  for a lack of better words, Sora always follows his… heart I guess. If he has even an ounce of love for someone, they are a true friend for the rest of his life that he will absolutely fight and die for. So that’s red, but where is green? So like I said ages ago with Steven Universe, Kingdom hearts as a thematic entity is kinda green. Like trying to understand the heart (in KH its like a soul) is proven time and time again to be a fruitless effort or at the very least much less effective than just….. feeling how its suppose to work.  Sora believes this to a tee, not that trying to study the heart is bad, but if you dig deep down and just…. feel it everything will work out, in a way light and hearts are basically the natural order in kingdom hearts as they are metaphysical forces that also take on a very physical quality. in this way its sorta like a dogma or religion but you can see it and trust that it will happen, and usually when you have like a fictional supernatural force that cant really be pinned on its exact rules but can always be relied on as a proven force by going about your day naturally, that leans green. Also most “Everything will be just fine” sentiments that don’t try to control the situation are typically green

Also Sora’s weapon the Key-blade is mostly displayed as less a weapon to fight with from a narrative point of view and more of an extension of himself and a view like that on weaponry is mostly a green trait as green believes that strength comes from within, not from an external force 

Hell most Kingdom Hearts villains rely on Sora just kinda….doing what comes naturally to him. Like you can make jokes about HEART DARKNESS HEART DARKNESS, IF IM XEANOR AND YOUR XEANORT WHOS FLYING THE PLANE? but another huge section of kingdom Hearts are villains ominously looking at Sora and friends saying “Sora is doing that thing that he always dose because that is just…. kinda what he dose” Those types of relationships imply very green and red mentalities, usually more green if assumption if their are very set perimeters Sora will act in 

Also another very green quality is him being comfortable with saying “I don’t know” and “I don’t get it, and that is just fine’

So in summery Sora’s actions and attitudes are firm red burning passion indomitable will immortal fire “akiramenaide!” shouting anime guy and his beliefs on the metaphysical aspects of Kingdom Hearts are firmly in green.

Now onto Donald Duck

So the implication with Donald Duck is that he has studied magic for a long time, and you would think that his blue motif and Final Fantasy’s magic=smart motif and Kingdom hearts Donald = Wisdom motif he would be blue, But Donald like Sora hardly has 2 brain cells to rub together. Donald is Black Red. I think most versions of Donald are mostly Black with red hints but Kingdom Hearts Donald is about half and half maybe leaning more towards red.  Donald is short tempered and impulsive, he gets into fights, way more than Sora, as Sora its more a “test your might” Donald is more on the end of “What you just say about my mamma!? Step up or get hit!” getting into damn near bar brawls with every other aggressive Disney character that would give him the time of day. Actually Donald as the fan perception as a really bad healer because he burns his MP on…. idk something useless probably when it would have been better uses for Cure. I have to wonder if this was deliberate because Donald is short sighted, even more than Sora so the burden of healing is on him Donald…. I wouldn’t say is smart, hell I just said he was stupid but he is aware of magic and aware of things like law and order but this is mostly because its just part of his job and occupational knowledge like being a court wizard and having a more pragmatic knowledge of a vocation than a thirst for knowledge is more on the black end of things than blue.  Also cares about his friends blah blah is always red. Kingdom hearts characters tend to lean a lot into the emotional and caring parts of red a lot more than the fire and brimstone red.  An ongoing gag with Donald is that he is selfish and greedy and im pretty sure that’s a holdover from most Disney cartoons. Like he cant help himself when he sees some treasure or everyone else is getting cool new stuff and Donald isn’t. This is usually done for a goof but it is present. Also Donald’sis that its his job to go on all these fun big adventures and he acts like its his job and mostly takes it seriously and tries to keep Sora on track, this sort of pragmatics even if Donald is having just as much fun as the others is firmly in black.  So Donald Duck Firmly in Red Black and a good example of a Red Black hero 

Note for all Disney characters they usually have a base 2 or 3 colors but at some point in there history have probably displayed all 5 colors because they are more archetypes to be fit into a situation 

Finally we have Goofy 

First off id like to say after like idk 17 years of waiting goofy yells Yaaaaaaa-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey , now that’s the Disney fan service I wanna see 

Anyway, Goofy is actually the brains of the group. This version of goofy is surprisingly vigilant, nothing gets past him and he is able to keep the group grounded even in the hardest of times both physically and emotionally, like in Chain of Memories when Sora was just going nuts over namie and Goofy was the one trying to keep Sora grounded every step of the way.  Goofy is closer to jeskai Some versions of Goofy are white green or also Gruul or even Azorious but the Kingdom Hearts incarnation is White Red Blue He is always trying to protect and be supportive of his friends, even in context of mechanics.  Unlike Sora Goofy typically tries to wrap his head around exactly whats going on, even when its in Kingdom hearts and the game decides to…. Kingdom Hearts it up and it gets confusing goofy usually makes an effort to break down whats going on, and enplane it to Sora and Donald and sometimes even himself to make sure he’s got it memorized understands the situation at hand. That type of diligence is thoughtfulness is mostly White Blue, typically in service of Red. Goofy is also portrayed as being pretty honorable. Like he fights only when he needs to and tries to use some reason on when isnt a good time to fight or just be ready to do so. This is usually a white trait but can also be White red.  The usually thing about love and friendship and looking out for your pals apply for red here as well Goofy seems to take a lot of pride in his position as captain of the kings guard ALSO let us not forget goofy FUCKING DIED that one time.

Dont worry, he is fine now

See? My point being literally taking a fatal injury to keep your friends safe and taking pride in a position you were given are classic white traits Ok, wasn’t that fun kids?  Next time, some more of those Kingdom Hearts folks And I have plenty of time to get to the other billion KH characters because KH4 will come out by the time im almost 40

[karn-libated-blog]

Notes on Tarkir

The dragons were created by storms resulting from ugins presence on the plane. The storms were called Dragon Tempests. Except in winter when the ice made flight impossible. Those were Lizard Blizzards.

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The typical fish is far more likely to learn to fly than to swim. On many planes "fly fishing” is known as fishing and normal fishing is called “water fishing”

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Multiverse Pirates have anti scurvy spells. While most pirates are almost never clean it is considered a worthwhile practice to learn basic botany-mancy for growing fruit

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I like to imagine that in the Multiverse there is a long list that's darn near a tradition of comebacks to bigotry.

For example "A real woman" in many places is considered slang for "please hit me" and the correct response to hearing someone say blah blah blah real woman or something is

" who keeps saying that they want to get hit?"

[planeswalkers-tour-guide]

Ixalan summers are humid and can reach 110

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Magic: the Gathering - MTB

Multiverse Tourism Board posters inviting Planeswalkers to visit the Planes of Kaladesh, Amonkhet and Ixalan.

Planeswalk at your own peril. Although there is no Plane-wide advisory in effect for Kaladesh, Amonkhet and Ixalan, Planeswalkers should exercise a high degree of caution, due to potential hazards too numerous to mention.  We advise against non-essential travel beyond major urban centres. 

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Fun fact did you know that Liliana has a closet where she keeps some of her literal skeletons? She calls it the “Bone Zone”

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Amonkhet mages has spells dedicated to getting sand out of your boots

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Amonkhet Weather Forcast

Hot Dry Dusty

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Thopter Fact #12

Thopters with sound equipment largely sound like Danny Devito. No one knows why

[planeswalkers-tour-guide]

Eldrazi Meat Review

Hello, its everyone favorite Multiverse cuisine reviewer, Cid here and today we are going to try the most exotic Eldrazi meat straight from Zendikar. Now the first thing you will notice is the smell. being made of fragments of stuff that lie between realities you will smell aromas that are well beyond your mortal comprehension. While words cant really do it justice, I think id say it smells like, a mix of calamari, non-euclidean minerals, anxiety about an unknown future, and a hint of lemon at least the closest I can get with my mortal taste-buds.

The texture and taste varies greatly based on what Titan Brood it hails from but the sample I have today is from the Emrakul brood and this daunting dame dost disappoint when it comes to a dinner date. The texture had a very wire like outside much like that of a candy like Red Vines or Twizzlers. While fun to just bite off when deep fried, when boiled or baked unraveling the outer lattice feels like eating a gum like net of wire. Unraveling is not only a real treat for those among us who hate to floss (Raises hand). Biting into uncooked or poorly cooked Lattice at the same time fills you with.... this unmistakable sense of going in loops of dread and ecstasy. One that you have never felt before but somehow have a deep nostalgia for. You know the one, that one where somewhere deep down you have an understanding that you will die and that will be it, and the frailty of mortal life feels somehow unfair to you but also knowing that every being that has existed has also felt this too. You panic as the world around you continues as normal but you and only you seem to understand that... Th͞ing̀s.... h͘o̡r͜ri͡ble͠ t̡h̸in̵g̕s lurk just below the surface and even if you have seen alternate realities where the laws of space and time are trivial, the....  Th͞ing̀s mere existence mocks the very nature of reality and you are not only filled with despair about this but also a bizarre sence of joy, at the possibility that maybe one day you will find a way b͍E̩̪͙͈c̢̗͎͙̣̠̻͓o̮̙͈͚͉̕ME̹̱ ͕͇̜̀s͉̦͇̗̰̙̦o̳̳̪̫͕M͏̖̖͚̠͍̤E҉͓͍͔̥͍t̛̘̝̥̬h͏͉̻̭̗̟̗i̟͘n̵̠͕̗g̨̲͚̜͖̱͖ ̡̟̫͈͎̬̠ͅm̞͖̟̱̬̻͘o͙̻̳̻̖̼̰R̯͖͙Ḛ̼̥͈. ̤͍̖̪̦ This may be an allergic reaction so if your normally allergic to fish stay away from Eldrazi meat.

The actual flesh meat of the Eldrazi is rather very succulent and tender, but also tough and gamy and also hard and brittle like hard candy but most of all it has texture much like Jellyfish. My theory may be that manifesting in moral realms, and exposure a cooking wok may cause temporal contradictions and  the Eldrazi cut your using to simultaneously manifest not only in our reality where they are jellyfish like, but also manifest as more of a cloud of possibilities where countless permutations of the cut seems to all be happening at once. I recommend Goblin Salt as an all purpose so it will taste fine in any reality shape it takes at a given time. The aftertaste of Eldrazi meat as one would expect is very fishy, again like squid and jellyfish but mixed in with the feeling of being free of the fear of death because you have found a greater calling in life and a feeling of even deeper nostalgia for things that have yet to pass or have occurred before your birth and that maybe one day. I suggest Emrakul Brood Meat if one is ever traveling to Zendikar or Innistrad. It pairs well with white wines, and light salads and is perfect for brunch, early dinner and playing a roll in countless eon long machinations far too complicated for the mortal mind

Overall 8/10

Pros - Nostalgic food like grandma used to make unless those are false memories - Great for fish fans - Abundant and cheap right now - Enlightens t́h̛e ignorant on ̶th̕e b̨lessings o̧f m̧ot̴h͏e͏r EM͝R͟A͞K̕U͠L̵ -Great with pastas and salads

Cons - Makes you question your place in the greater cosmos - Manifesting as countless permutations of reality at once are bad for those with allergies as it can and will take those shapes - 1 week shelf life unless frozen

[jones-friend]

QUESTION

If Gideon is from Theros, if he dies outside of his home plane does his soul go to that underworld? Or are you under each plane’s rules for death while you’re on them?

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The rules are dictated where you die. For example Elspeth is not from Theros but her soul is still captive with Erebos, while Vensner died on Phyrexia that more or less lacks an afterlife.

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Least Hospitable planes

New Phyrexia Tarkir Innistrad Ne͕̲̦w̳̹͉̖̳ ̖̱̜̼͈͕P͕͕̘h̲̫̬̝͙͎̠yr̺̠̺ͅe͕x͈͈i͈̙̲͍a as of recently Zendikar Bolas’ Relm and  N̟͚͕͉̿ͭ̽ͨ̑̓͐̄̇e͗̌ͥͅw̳͈̓̈́̑ ̟ͪ̄͆̿̉ͬ̓̈̑P̳̠̞͉̬̤͉̳̄ͯ͋̏ͦͯh̼͖̊̊̈̿y͎̜̪̝͙͔͛̊ͥ̃ͣ̌r̪͈̱͖̗͖̤̫͑ͪ̈́̚ͅé̪͈̾͑x̫̞̲̘̣͍͎̄̓̈́i̞̳̼̦͕̠̓̋͛a͎̹̼̤͍͋̍͒̀͋̐ͤ̚

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Common misconception

Black is the color of decay but usually it ends up smelling like lavender

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Planes with the best pasta dishes

Dominaria  Theros Kaladesh Shadowmoor Zendikar Fiora

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Kaladesh Grimlins have an avagrage body heat of 110