I love you.
This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill, Play is actually posting something.
Writers block is a b- but I'm so happy to give you this fluff piece with our favorite boy Gavin! How I've missed writing for him... Schools been keeping me busy, but I hope to write more in the future!
If I don't get a chance later, I wish you a safe happy new year and hope it will be the best one yet!
See you in another post!
Play.
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Gavin x you.
Fluff.
Beta read by wonderful @sin-with-quiche
Words: 2560.
Master list
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Outside the rain had finally ceased, giving way to sounds of leaves rustling in the gust of wind. A slight chill lingered in the air, sweeping across the wet streets under the dim golden hues of the streetlights.
A hushed serenity settled over the busy town—nary a sound disturbing the silence.
However, Gavin's mind appeared indifferent to such peace. A thin layer of sweat covered his tensing body as he laid mostly still, save for a twitch here and there, mind replaying what he'd witnessed on his missions, which wasn’t too unusual for Gavin.
Nightmares sometimes kept his restless mind weary and wakeful until early hours, and when the sky did lighten—and the morning chorus began to chirp, Gavin would often lose hope on sleep and go jogging instead, trying to clear his head.
But now there he laid, closing in on 12 am, the fourth night in a row, with the same appalling dream. It wasn't long before he jolted awake, instantly biting his knuckle to muffle his gasping scream.
Amber eyes darted around in the dark—a knuckle pressed firm against his teeth as he breathed rapidly, reminding himself he shouldn't scream, how the pain wasn't real, how smoke didn't fill his lungs. The heat wasn't a reality. He struggled to rein in those thoughts, still lost in a dream.
A dream. Nothing else.
It felt like hours before he moderately relaxed and focused again. He felt numb but the taste of dry cotton against his tongue sobered him enough to free his bandaged knuckle from his mouth.
Rubbing his face with his callus hands, Gavin sighed, noise muffled by his fingers. His chest heaved, heart still pounding away when his hand combed through his sweaty hair.
He couldn't keep doing this. The hopeless pitch of an additional sigh filled the void in the room when his mind lastly registered the bed he was in. Keeping awake proved difficult when lying close to you with arms wrapped tightly around your waist, feeling your fingers lightly grazing his bicep. He wanted to stay until you'd fallen asleep, so you wouldn't notice him slipping out to sleep on the couch.
Yet the feeling of you and your familiar scent was too calming, eventually lulling him into a drowsiness hard to fight.
Gavin heard the lone sound of a dog barking in the wind, his gaze drifting to a shadow of a bough flickering across the blue wallpaper of the wall opposite the bed.
He fixated on the smell of smoke invading his nostrils, and the familiar ache in his lungs returned. The same dull throb in his skull—the same panic.
Fire had whipped and whirled around, crawling up the walls and ceiling. He could see the billowing smoke, feel the intense heat.
He called your name. What if he couldn't find you? Gavin's muscles tensed.
What if -?
He looked down at you, laying on your stomach, arms tucked under your pillow—fast asleep. A drowsy smile tugged at his lips upon watching you limned in moonlight, safe and oblivious. You being this relaxed and peaceful, drooling over the pillowcase, brought joy to his heart and finding you too adorable to resist, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, pushing it gently behind your ear.
Your sudden snoring brought him back to his senses, the delicate sound flooding his mind.
Gavin's gaze lingering for a second longer before he removed the sweaty duvet from his clammy body and enjoyed the nippy air on his skin. It felt like a fresh change.
Before he could stand, however, a smaller, warmer, hand placed itself atop his. Gavin already knew who it was and hated that he woke you up. He held his breath, scared to break the silence and only turned his head partially, far too embarrassed to meet your face.
He felt your thumb stroking his skin slowly, at times connecting with the rough surface of the bandages and you knew them to be the reason Gavin was awake.
"Did I wake you?" He asked in a whisper almost inaudible.
You hummed thoughtfully, aware of his nightmares and his strive to conceal them.
The knowledge broke your heart, and even if he never addressed it, the pain of seeing him so tired and the constant circles under his eyes twisted you.
Gavin shouldn't have to carry such a burden alone. Didn't he realise his pain was yours as well?
Rubbing the last vestiges of sleep from your eyes, you promptly ended such thoughts and got out of bed to walk over to him. Your eyes swept over him, a smile almost curving on your lips at his curious stare, but his beauty under the pale moonlight held you captivated. It wasn't until his faint snort of amusement that you regained your senses, making you look away with a sheepish glance before bending forward, gently touching his cheek as you knelt between his legs.
A shadow crossed his face when you took his hand, a mild look of confusion flickering in his eyes.
It was easy for you to understand the altering emotions between the two of you. You could sense when something was amiss, even if Gavin downplayed it. Even now, the vulnerability he blinked away was obvious to you.
It was the same brave and decisive Gavin you'd gotten to know, with the sensuality and warmth of a thousand suns… He just lacked his energy.
You kissed his fingertips, one by one, taking your time and lifting his chin when he bowed his head—gazes locking. The obvious dance of emotions swirling across his visage made you remember how repressed and emotionally withdrawn he'd been for the past week. His usual energy attracted such positivity, and almost like a magnet, people were drawn to him—you included.
But recently, he appeared mostly worn, and it stung your heart to think of it.
Gavin's attentive expression deepened and his breath hitched as you gently unwrapped the bandages on his hand, revealing the patches of burnt skin hiding underneath. It was wounds gifted from a current mission, but served as a reminder of a mission from many moons ago.
Gavin cleared his throat, the wish to remove your attention from his wounds made you hold on to him tighter and you pushed yourself up, pulling his soaked shirt over his head. Gavin wasn't ashamed of his scars and besides, you'd seen them all before, there just laid a sudden shyness in it now, the nightmare causing the deepest scar of all. You took in all the bruises and bandages covering his toned torso while your fanned fingers slid over the lines and planes of his chest.
Rain started drumming soft and rhythmically against the window as you untied the bandages and bent to brush your lips against his bruises, attempting with a touch, to soothe his unspoken pain. You could feel Gavin's muscles stiffening under your lips, but he still said nothing, befuddled as he was.
It had been years since the mission Eli referred to as “hell mission” took place, but even so, the closer the date, the more restless Gavin became.
Those memories couldn’t easily be quelled.
Slowly, you felt his heart even out and upon your touch against the last of his marks, you got to your feet and entwined your fingers with his.
His furrowed brow earned him a smile when you gazed down at him, gently tugging on your joined hands.
After a moment's deliberation, Gavin's forehead smoothed out, assuming a blank expression as he sat up, tagging along with you as you crossed the threshold to the bathroom and turning around, you leaned forward, a gleam of tenderness lighting up your face as you stood on your tiptoes, pecking him on the cheek and whispered for him to wait for you there.
He hummed in assent, arm falling to his side as you disappeared back inside the bedroom. Gavin remained in the middle of the dark, feeling confused.
He had no idea what you had in mind, but lifting his fingers to study his scars, his breathing accelerated at the thought of your loving gesture.
When you returned, you carefully placed away a few towels and took Gavin's hand in yours again. Before he could ask, you rid both of any remaining clothes and led him into the shower.
Gavin's heart pounded harder and harder but he didn't understand its cause.
He observed you, suddenly feeling nervous—out of place even, and didn't know what to do or where to stand.
He awkwardly shifted, angling his head to watch the shower wall. He narrowed his focus down to the light of the moon, reflecting on the small drops forming on the glass.
Gavin had showered with you before, but somehow this setting felt more intimate in the dark with nothing but the sound of water running.
It was overwhelming in a way, as the water ran down his body and your warm hand moving across his wet skin.
The affection in your touch was asserted in your limpid eyes once Gavin dared glancing at you—and in the confined space, the emotions seemed to amplify.
You stood close to him and felt tingly by his gaze. It wasn't only him responding to the electrifying hum amidst you both.
"Wait," you mumbled, curling your fingers around his, stopping him from reaching for your favourite scented shampoo. "Let me." With Gavin's delayed approval, you retrieved the bottle, seeing him study you as you poured the shampoo in your palm.
He didn't know what to say when you began washing his soaked hair. He somehow wasn't prepared and blushed at first, feeling even more out of place. Gradually, however, by your calming pace and the water's soft flow over his body, Gavin unwinded.
He'd never experienced such a sensation before. No one had ever touched him with such a gentle caress as you were now, and never had anyone looked at him with the soft expression you did when you gazed at him now, filled with loving care.
Good—was the only word coming to his mind as you ran the shampoo through his hair, lathering it over his scalp in a slow massage.
It was too good. Gavin didn't know how to explain it. Something as basic as showering suddenly made him speechless. He hadn't even noticed when he'd closed his eyes.
Soon you shifted to body wash and carefully sudsed him up, paying close attention as you spread it over his body before washing him clean.
If possible, Gavin was even more attractive after a shower, sitting on the newly made bed, with nothing but a towel draped around his middle and smelling like the scent of green apple.
Even though you were supposed to move, you couldn't help but watch the glistering droplets across his wet skin.
His sensuality was breathtaking, causing your cheeks to blush and pulse to pound. The mild rain added to the subdued setting, making you feel a bit shy as well when you stepped closer to towel him dry. Your eyes met as you lowered the towel and you gently combed his fringe back before cupping his jaw.
He looked beautiful with his hair pushed back, it made his defined features more pronounced.
You softly stroked his jawbone with a thumb, and unable to resist him, you brushed your lips against his.
Gavin instantly responded and moved to deepen the kiss, but you stepped an inch away, smiling against his lips. "Wait for me here," you murmured, kissing him briefly before pulling away completely.
You flashed him a smile as you headed into the bathroom, gathering a few tubes from your vanity.
Gavin's eyebrows drew into a surprised frown when he spotted what you carried. You giggled at his expression as you rounded the bed, motioning for him to shuffle up to the headboard.
You placed your creams on the bedside table and corrected the hold of the towel around your body, before crawling over to straddled his legs with a bottle nestled in your hand. "This and showers always makes me feel better," you answered Gavin's unspoken question and proceeded by circling layers of different creams on his skin, moving as slowly as possible.
Gavin sat still, letting you do as you pleased. You giggled and joked around as you took careful care of your skin as well.
Gavin had watched you attentively when realization came to him. He hadn't noticed when, but your actions had lightened the crushing weight across his chest.
He'd been engrossed in your gestures, not once thinking of his nightmare.
Even now sitting under you, thumbs circling the softness of your skin, he concentrated on nothing but you.
You were his sole focus point, his gravity when he had none, but he was completely falling, lost in the feeling of you. The emotions flooding in Gavin led him to reach out and hug you fondly, tightening his grip.
"I love you," he mumbled—hot breath fanning across your skin, "so unbelievably much."
He kissed your collarbone carefully and soft, working his way to press his lips against the sweet taste of yours.
You hummed gently into the kiss, the feelings shared increasing the pressure as Gavin leaned his forehead against yours.
You debated whether to broach his nightmares or not. You wished to tell him he wasn't alone, but you knew he wouldn't want to talk about them. Slight disappointment arose with the thought, but you understood it was his way of protecting you.
And you were certain Gavin knew you knew, his kiss was proof of that, but he wouldn't budge if you brought it up. All you could do was shower him with love and affection, hoping it conveyed how loved and safe he was.
And that part was easy, you thought, your hand moving to touch his cheek as the kiss continued in its slow pace.
There was no demand in it, it wasn't hectic or needy, not in the slightest. It was a passionate kiss, a kiss that served joy and strengthened your emotional bond.
It was the kind of kiss which gave strength and courage. A single kiss, conveying how much one needed the other.
When you parted, you were breathing just as heavily as Gavin and rested against him with lips in the ghost of a smile. Gavin gazed down on you, his thumb finding its own path across your bottom lip, swollen and red.
Both were happy, albeit exhausted. He could look at you forever but the yawn you tried hiding behind the back of your hand made him realise how late it was.
Gavin stole a swift kiss before slowly pulling you down on the bed. He wrapped you in the duvet after removing your towel and cuddled you to his chest, hugging you near and sighed contently, nose brushing your ear. A smile flitted on your lips and you dearly wished every inch of you could be closer to him as you turned around to face him.
Both of you looked at each other for a moment, the mild sound of drizzle outside filling the room as Gavin brushed a few stray hairs off your forehead, eyes trailing his task before indulging you with a tender kiss.
"I love you too," you whispered, tilting your head to meet his eyes with a smile.
