As you might have noticed, I have been quite busy neglecting tumblr for a while now. If you're interested in what I've been (and will be) up to, I made a post on my personal about it.
One thing I realized, however, is how miserable tumblr roleplay has made me. And that I no longer want to do it anymore.
Please, don't get me wrong. I have enjoyed most of my time here a great deal and I have met a bunch of lovely (and often delightfully mad) people. I have missed that whenever I had to take a time out from playing.
If you are interested in keeping in contact, feel free to hit me up. I will still be on my personal littlescratches and I still have that same Skype account that a lot of you know.
I also will continue to roleplay, especially with my original characters.
But I will no longer do it on tumblr. For my reasons... please have a look beneath the read more. For what happens to all the blogs I have (more or less) been maintaining check those. Most of them will stay online, but be marked as inactive.
I kept missing posts addressed to me, while at the same time becoming picky about the people I contacted for roleplay in the first place, which led to me having less contacts to play with, who were mostly not online when I was and whose ever scarcer messages to me I kept not seeing.
This led to a state I am not proud of, where I neglected physical friendships while staring at a dashboard that would not move while I actually had a lot of muse for my characters but only very little for their ongoing threads.
Strictly speaking, I became depressive. To a point where I dreaded my period, because I knew my hormones would amplify emotions that I mostly managed to keep at bay outside of those times and I would end up hiding in bed, curled in a ball, weeping. Luckily, I have never harbored suicidal thoughts.
I'm not going to pretend like tumblr roleplay was the only cause for this state. There are a bunch of other factors that made me vulnerable to the damage that social media in general can do. However, I think that roleplay in tumblr (in contrast to using tumblr and other social media sites as intended) has got to me especially since it is near impossible to keep up with a site like this, since it has no interest in providing you with options to keep track of threads. All they want is to give you a slice of what is happening right now.
Which does not work for the style of roleplay that I prefer at all.
Roleplay is an important part of my life. It is how I keep my creative muscles alive and well and how I interact with various fandoms.
And that, plus keeping in contact with people I adore, were what made me come back, over and over, although I had already identified tumblr rp as a major thread to my mental state.
Now, though, I'm finally making the cut i should have made a while ago and I am moving on.
I love you all and I hope you are better at dealing with all of this than I am. If you are not... please consider at least taking a step away and evaluating what it does for you.
Thank you all who read this far. I wish you all the best in the world. Or to say it with much nerdier words:
I should maybe have mentioned that with family and a friend in the hospital, Easter is a busy time for me. ^^; See you all after the whole ressurection/fertility celebration is over. ;)
gwindle replied to your post:gwindle replied to your photo:Tumblr really wanted...
I have to as well,but I’m sick at the moment.
*hugs and makes you tea, because tea cures anything
There's some handy sites that help you test for heartbleed and use of OpenSSL, once you feel up to it. I personally use it as an excuse to change all my passwords, make a few of them more secure. xD
gwindle replied to your photo:Tumblr really wanted me to change my passwords. xD
Did you?
Yuss. Although tumblr is one of the pages where I wasn't too concerned. Hacked tumblr accounts are a hassle, but I was more worried about pages that know my bank accounts etc.
