Salutations!

[thebootydiaries]

[bittersuggestion]

Stop romanticizing the moon

[exymas-deactivated20161227]

she’s my mom and i would die for her

[whitegirlsaintshit]

Me: *starts crying* Me to myself: omg here go your lil crybaby ass…

[happiersuggestion]

forgive them. your heart will be lighter for it. forgive them because it gives you closure. it’s all in the past now, and they can’t hurt you there. 

[baekphia]

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

i don’t understand the point of Head & Shoulders shampoo. no one has hair on their shoulders. who is shampooing shoulder hair. please come forward now. no questions

[inthetags]

reblog and put in the tags how many liked songs you have on spotify

[katiemcgrath]

idk man, maybe it’s just the british/indian in me jumping out but I’ve always just blindly assumed this lady was holding a teacup, this is the first time I’ve actually looked at her hands and now I’m mad,

[katiemcgrath]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Did somebody edit this? It is usually a teacup, right?

[leg-stealing-bee]

ITS A FUCKING CUPCAKE???

[leg-stealing-bee]

WHAT????

[young-replica]

[impaled]

The things I do for love

[aintmyjewelry]

the photos of prince philip leaving the hospital have my fucking yelling

[aintmyjewelry]

that’s a corpse just walking around

[powerfulwizard]

[ghettogotth]

[ratliker1917]

[zonecassette]

[butternaan]

[guerrillatech]

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[atlinmerrick]

And now with!

[draintheblood]

those superhero movies that try to be like gritty and dark are so funny to me im sorry….. like that dude is wearing an outfit lol

[murshroomz-deactivated20230115]

walked in on my friend watching one of the avengers films during a funeral scene and he got really mad at me because i laughed upon seeing a fucking raccoon at a funeral. like how is that not the height of comedy

[jotx]

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

[anteultimate]

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

[jotx]

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

[anteultimate]

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”