AU where Stiles in an Empath, inheriting it from, surprise, his father’s side of the family. He’s more powerful than his dad ever was though, so he usually keeps his powers under wraps, otherwise it would be overwhelming to go to school or just to go outside even. Scott knows; they used Stiles’ ability to cheat on a test once (but never again). So everything else is the same. Until one day Stiles lets his walls down for whatever reason. Tired, stressed, something, and Derek’s the only other one around. It hits Stiles like a freight train. The self-loathing, the guilt, the self-deprecation, disgust, anger, frustration, desperation, depression, vulnerability, fear, and a layer of sheer nothingness. He knows it’s from Derek and it staggers him, Stiles goes into a panic attack, only calming when he manages to shut down his abilities and shut Derek’s emotions out. From that moment on, he looks at Derek in awe. how can a person so broken on the inside seem so strong and normal, all things considered? And as he watches Derek more closely, he starts to see it. The way Derek denies himself happiness because he doesn’t think he deserves it. The way he pushes the pack members away, keeping them at arms length out of fear that they’ll turn on him or leave him behind, the way Derek’s always tensed, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The resignation Stiles sees in his eyes when Derek spots the couples in the pack doing couple-y things. He tries being kinder to Derek, more patient, and it appears to work. derek is calm around him, increasingly more relaxed, and Stiles really thinks they’re making some good progress and cautiously lowers his walls a little bit. And all he receives are two overpowering emotions- affection and fear. And Derek’s got them both so tightly under wraps that Stiles instinctively knows none of the other wolves would be able to pick it out. He feels bad for spying on Derek’s emotions, but he really is trying to help. He doesn’t say anything, giving Derek these secret emotional check-ups periodically until he notices the fear decreasing slowly but steadily and the affection growing. And then everything goes to shit. Stiles has a secret admirer for Valentine’s Day and Derek was going to pick him up from school so they could get pizza (because that’s a thing they do now- they get pizza) and walks in on Stiles being jump-kissed by this admirer. Stiles just barely catches the look on Derek’s face but he saw enough, didn’t even have to use his abilities, because he knows the face of a broken heart when he sees one. He tears himself away but Derek covers it up so fast it makes Stiles’ head spin. With a muttered apology for interrupting, Derek is gone in a flash, head low, hands curled into fists inside of his jacket pockets. Stiles eventually catches up with him at the derelict Hale house and doesn’t dare lower his walls for a second. Derek’s emotions are so strong he can feel them (albeit faintly) even through his walls, so he can imagine all too well how it must feel for Derek. Stiles walks up the stairs and finds Derek in what must have been his old bedroom, head in his hands, elbows on his knees as he sits on the crispy metal bed frame. Before Stiles can say anything, Derek’s already talking. “Don’t.” He says. He sounds pleading, defeated. “Just go away.” There’s an unspoken please that hangs in the air. But Stiles doesn’t go. He sits at Derek’s feet, trying to get the wolf to look at him, but Derek’s got his hands covering his face. So Stiles waits, a hand on Derek’s knee, patient and silent and not just a little nervous. Until Derek finally says something again. “Don’t tell the others you saw me this way.” his voice is rough and it makes Stiles swallow in turn as derek gets up and pulls away, and it hurts so much more when Stiles can see him fighting to pull together all the broken parts of himself and fit them back together in ways that should but don’t quite fit anymore. Like there are pieces of himself missing and Derek doesn’t know what to do so he just stands there, alone and afraid and angry. And Stiles has never wanted to kiss him more. So he does, in a tender way, explaining everything between kisses because Derek’s allowing him to do this, eventually holding onto Stiles’ clothes so hard Stiles is afraid they’ll tear but he says nothing and just hugs Derek to him. And they’ve been standing there for a while when Stiles hears Derek say it, so quiet he might have missed it if there was any more sound in the room; “Please. Let me have this. Even if you’re using me, lie to me, let me have this a while.” Ending in a broken “Please.” And Derek starts to cry these stupid quiet tears because he knows there’s no point in hiding them now that he knows what Stiles is and Stiles kisses them away, kisses Derek until he stops sobbing like a kid afraid to get caught feeling sorry for himself and they go to Stiles’ house where it’s safe and warm and home for Derek in a way the loft isn’t and it’s there that stiles whispers to him all night until Derek starts to believe him- “You’re mine now, Derek, and I’m yours. Not using you, not going to lie to you. I won’t hurt you, I swear it. I’m not like them. You’re okay, you’re mine, you’re mine.” And Derek falls asleep with his ear against Stiles’ chest and Stiles’ hands in his hair. In the morning the Sheriff finds them, Derek just barely asleep, Stiles not even a little tired. And Stiles puts a finger to his mouth so his dad will be quiet and his dad just gets it and leaves them alone. Because Derek’s got a Valentine this year- a real one. And so does Stiles.
