Misandry: The Illusion of Oppression.
I came across a TikTok of a text image saying, “Sexism is getting way too normalized within gen z.”, which isn’t irrational to say because it is statically true. King’s College London conducted a study that revealed that Gen Z men—not to imply that only men can be sexist—hold most traditional views for not only women, but for men as well. Naturally, I checked the comments of the video and read the top comment, “misogyny kills. misandry hurts feelings.”, factual information.
Under this comment someone replied, “Both promote hate, and misandry does more than hurt feelings. It also quiets victims of emotional, physical and other kinds of abuse based on gender, while also stifling the progress of people in general. Let’s not forget the amount of suicides.”, and added a dying rose emoji to top it off. This reply didn’t just completely misunderstand the original commenter, but it also completely ignores the lack of oppression within misandry and the overflowing oppression in misogyny. I replied to the 2nd commenter saying, “Misandry is an online provocation, misogyny is an actuality of humanity.” —yes, I copied it off my own Tumblr post, duh. Many who understand sociology, linguistics, or any other society-focused things overall would also understand my comment and the factual truth behind it. Commenter two didn’t and replied with, “Misandry is a part of humanity just like misogyny is. There are women who abuse, neglect, disrespect and discriminate men and boys simply because they are men. Your belittling of men’s issues is what stops men from speaking out in the first place. And simply hating men while calling yourselves feminists or misandrist does nothing but contribute to misogyny.”, seemingly ignoring the fact that male sexual and emotional suffering is (largely) done by other men and the fact that any “misandry” they experience from women in the real world is actually rooted in misogyny.
Many (online) generation z men truly believe that men having these specific experiences is what makes them oppressed, but that is not what oppression is. Oppression refers to deeply carved, entangled systems of power that unjustly disadvantages certain groups while uplift another—men can never and will never be oppressed because of being a man. Oppression also relies on repeated, generalized experiences rather than inconsistent, personalized ones. When being compared to misandry, misogyny is a global issue. So much of a global issue that in 2024 the United Nations released a whole global study about violence against women titled, “Femicides in 2024”, revealing that over 80,000 women and girls were intentionally killed that year. Number of violence against men are significantly lower than violence against women, and women are not as likely to be a preparator, unlike men. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, men are 4 to 5 times more likely to experience violent victimization from another man than from a woman and male offenders make up 79% of all violent incidents, while female offenders account for around 17%. Saying all of this, men do experience emotional or physical abuse from women and suffer in many ways in society. Not because of misandry, but because of misogyny.
Most anti-feminist men online constantly bring up male sexual violence experiences being ignored and even mocked, but the language used in order to do so is rooted in misogyny.
This is said because crying is seen as feminine, which is bad according to the patriarchy. Saying this phrase not only pushes toxic masculinity, but it also reinstates the misogynistic beliefs of women being too emotional and that being feminine is wrongful.
“Why did he let that happen?”
This completely removes any empathy towards a man’s sexual trauma, while also degrading women. This question pushes blame onto the victim, and it also suggests that a woman is too weak to overpower a man, which is misogyny.
“Women get their kids even when they are unfit.”
While true, this is done under the ingrained belief of women being naturally “better suited” for parenting. A woman who has kids is not labeled a woman with kids; she is a mother. A forever job of womanhood. When a man has kids though, he is still allowed a life outside of his kids—which is misogyny leading to male “discrimination.”
Social constructs and systems are not black and white; they are very complex. Men being more likely to offend a violent crime than women, doesn’t remove the fact that men do experience violence from women. Men can be socially and systematically superior, while also being harmed by misogyny. No man is to blame for the patriarchy and how it harms men, but creating words like misandry to describe issues rooted in misogyny only harms men more. Instead of treating men like the adults that they all grow up to be, society tells women that they need to be extra aware because a man isn't. A failure on part of the patriarchy.
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