You know what’s bullshit? This trend of fashion jumpsuits that are entirely useless.
This is a US military flight suit:
This flight suit has so many pockets! 8! Eight glorious useful pockets. With zipper closures so nothing will fall out. I could fit everything that I ever needed in all of those pockets. There’s a pocket specifically for your knife. It also looks like the most comfortable piece of clothing imaginable. And durable. And flame resistant. This is a piece of clothing made for a purpose, after all.
Technically this is not a “jumpsuit;” it is intended for you to stay in the plane while wearing it. But, by definition, it still satisfies the requirements of a jumpsuit, ”a garment incorporating trousers and a sleeved top in one piece, worn as a fashion item, protective garment, or uniform.”
Did I mention the eight pockets?
Now, I don’t own a flight suit (or any jumpsuit, for that matter), I hardly think I could wear one to work without drawing some unwanted attention to myself. I would love one for my home workshop (when I own a home and a workshop). It seems like it’d be the easiest way to ensure I’m always holding a pencil pen, pocket knife, small notebook, snacks, kitten, and any other various tools I need.
Unfortunately, the fashionable jumpsuits that I see around, intended to be worn outside of the dirt-and-grime workshops and cockpits, leave a lot to be desired. This is especially true if I use that flight suit as my basis for comparison.
There are zero pockets here. Don’t be fooled by what looks like decent back pockets on this jumpsuit; they are fake. This is even military-styled and they didn’t have the decency to include some front pockets.
Even when front pockets are included in this Utility jumpsuit, I find myself just wanting more. Hell, try putting your phone in that pocket. If it even fits, try not having it slip out at the first opportunity.
Then there are all of the fashionable jumpsuits with two pockets and questionable above-the-waist decisions
Sure, there are front pockets. That’s more than you get with most dresses.
And those pocket can even be incredibly deep. They seem to be made out of flimsy material, so I question how much they can actually hold without adding too much weight and compromising the structure of the top half. I’m sure boob-slippage isn’t something that was considered during construction.
And even when the material and structure seem strong enough to support a bit of a pocket load, you have to wonder why there are never any back pockets on these designs. There’s certainly the space for that sort of functionality.
And even when you can justify that if you were the kind of girl who still went out clubbing, you would totally wear something like this and it totally looks better not to have all of those pockets, you have to wonder how we got to here from the flight suit. How is it that we went from a 7 pocket flight suit to “Well, at least my phone probably won’t fall out of that and my boobs won’t pop out if I tape 'em”?
These jumpsuits definitely still look comfortable and they’re certainly more fashionable than the flight suit. I won’t knock ladies that love them. I wish I had the personal style that would allow me to wear this with confidence. Compared to some women’s clothing, they actually have surprisingly practical pockets, even with all of their flaws. I’m just having trouble getting on board with these jumpsuits knowing the potential for how awesome they could be.
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