dangerous

Medea Astella Nott 7th Year | Gryffindor Secret Death Eater Darkness festers underneath beauty,disregard all the old rules; you're playing her game now.

[jspotterii-blog]

His kindness was not limitless like Medea may assume. Because she was right: his family was more important than her. He lingered more out of moral obligation than anything. Potter blood ran through his veins, after all. The very same blood that Medea had spilled mere hours ago. “We’re on the same side, Medea. The right side.” The side of good always had to face difficult decisions and always were the ones more prone to attack. “I may not understand, but I also serve no purpose to them other than as a punching bag that they think they can mock and tear down. But I’m more than they give me credit for just like you are. And being one of them could have just as easily gotten you killed. Leo Zabini is dead and he had the Mark on him. Neither side of this war can guarantee you safety, but use that fear to your advantage. Use it to fight back that much harder. Use it to show them that they are wrong about your worth. Use it to stay alive. You can either do that or back down. I can’t make that choice for you but I can tell you I’d rather die who I am, die fighting, than survive by giving in.”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Medea paused for a moment, quickly calculating her next move. It was risky, and something that almost repulsed her to even think about but would solidify her act. She continued to let the tears fall, free and strong, before she flung herself forwards, wrapping her good arm around him pulling him in tight. Her body ached in protest, and not only because it was bruised and battered, but she held fast.  ❝James Potter, you’re smarter than anyone gives you credit for and braver than anyone I know. I wish I was as strong as you, I’m going to try though because you’re right. I’m going to fight to be me. I’m going to fight.❞

[thexrosexweasley]

“The strongest,” she quipped, trying not to sound sarcastic. Oops. She offered a small smile, trying to make it up to the girl. “You’re right. We’ll survive.” 

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Medea forced a smile, though it would have seemed genuine, before ducking herself out of the other girls arm. Propping herself up with help of the wall. ❝I can make it to the Hospital wing myself, you should go find your family.❞

[lilylunarchive]

No, Lily hadn’t been asking if Medea had broken her own arm, but she was growing more suspicious as the conversation continued. Her skepticism was at an all time high after the ordeal she had just been through, and some things the older girl was saying just didn’t wash to Lily. “Interesting.” she replied, shifting to lock eyes with the brunette. “I wonder why they came after you so much, out of everyone. I mean, you’re a Nott and aren’t obviously a member of resistance. How much could they have possibly thought they’d get out of you?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow. “It’s strange too how the nurse didn’t heal your arm too. She can mend broken bones in seconds, you know–she did it for me. It’s a simple enough spell. But you kept your cast on.” Almost as if you wanted people to pity you, she thought to herself, holding back a snort of derision. “You said you wanted to be my friend, Nott. If you ever want that to happen, I’d cut the bullshit.” She rolled her eyes and turned away, through with talking to the girl.

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Medea raised an eyebrow at Lily’s ‘interesting’ and then shook her head in disbelief. Of course it was natural for Lily to be skeptical, especially when it came to Medea, and honestly she didn’t really much care - but she made sure to let a small look of hurt wash over her features. ❝They asked me to side with them and I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with them, they then assumed I knew more than I was letting on - but we both know I don’t. And as for my arm, well it was rather busy in here earlier - I was somewhat better off that others... such as yourself, so I made room. Said I’d come back later.❞ It wasn’t strictly a lie, but she certianly hadn’t excused herself for the sake of others. She shook her head, assuming what she thought Lily was thinking.  ❝I’m not seeking pity, not from you or anyone, and I’m done trying to be your friend Lily. It’s clear you don’t trust me, and whatever - it’s understandable considering everything. I just wanted to see if you were okay, you can close the curtain now and pretend like I’m not here - I’ll be gone as soon as my arms fixed. I’ll never say another word to you.❞

[jspotterii-blog]

"I'd die for you"

James remembered when Medea had been so scared of the Death Eaters, but he’d always known that she was far stronger than she appeared. And she had showed that to him in such a short amount of time. There was a fire to Medea that he hadn’t expected to fine within her. She had seemed somewhat timid before, unsure of herself, but James had found that the more he got to know her, the more his first impression of her had been wrong. She was brave. She’d just had to find her strength. She had just needed someone to nudge her enough to awaken that inner strength.

“I thought you were scared of dying?” he reminded her, almost light-hearted despite the weight of her words. But it was more that he was proud of her than anything. Of how far she’d come. How far they’d come. He had no intentions of letting her do any such thing. This war would not mean the end of her like she had been afraid of before. After this was all said and done, she’d be able to stand with pride and show her family and all those who doubted her that they were wrong about her. James was ready for that day. And it wouldn’t arrive if she was dead. 

“Let’s not talk about anyone dying, alright? At least no one who is on our side. We’re coming up with a plan. And you need to trust me that it’ll work.” Trust was something huge for James. He had little faith in himself before, hadn’t thought he was as capable as he had found out he was over the last months. He didn’t reveal the plan to Medea, however, because the fewer people that knew about it, the better. 

“You just do your part and stay alive.” That’s all he’d ask of her. That’s all he felt comfortable asking of her. He still had a bit of a ways to go before he completely opened up, there were still a lot of things that he left unsaid, but he was getting there in strides. Tilting his forehead to rest on Medea’s, he cupped the side of her face, entangling brown strands of hair in his fingers and melding their lips together gently.

[dragonhearting-blog]

❝What so you want me to feel bad for you based on my cousin’s actions when you’re vehement on not being judged by your family? You’ve literally been barking up the wrong tree for ages and I’ve clue why you even bother with her. And if you’re trying to get me to apologize for her, I won’t. She’s got reasons not to trust you or anyone, you best take that into consideration before saying something dimwitted about things you have no idea about.❞ It was a rather long reply back, but when faced with someone who even remotely said something that could be considered rude about family – Victoire was defensive. She did, however, feel she made a good point. ❝Ha, yeah. They’re all lucky I didn’t pop off on them, really.❞ The previous jovial tone in Vic’s voice was completely missing then as she crossed her arms over her chest.

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

❝Is it so bad that I seek approval?❞  Medea asked, hating the question as it fell from her lips? She’d never seek approval from anyone, not really, but in this case - this version of herself that she had painted for years: did.  ❝You have no idea what it is like to be judge so horribly on a name. If it were my actions or my personality, I’d understand - but for someone to so openly distrust you because of a name you were born with... well it’s kind of hateful and I have never given her any reason not to trust me. I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me, nor am I asking you to apologize for her; I was just pointing out a reason why I was so quick to defend myself, because for the last seven years, that’s all I’ve ever done.❞ Medea shook her head, looking down at her hands.  ❝I understand that Lily has her reasons for keeping people at arms length, I get - I know you think I don’t but I do; but her distrust of me stems further than that. But whatever, I’m done playing the sympathy card.❞ Medea reached into her clasp and pulled out a flask, swigging from it before offering it up to Victoire: truce. 

[thexrosexweasley]

Not all of us, she almost said. Then she remembered that Leonidas Zabini had been Marked, therefore many people, most of the school, wouldn’t consider him a loss. She tried not to let that twist her stomach. It didn’t work. “Right now- yes.” 

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Medea noted how Rose ignored the obvious, and she smirked a little. There was more serpent in the girl than she’d ever realized before, dismissing the death of Leonidas as if it didn’t matter, as if he had never existed. ❝And we’ll keep on surviving, because we’re strong.❞

[lilylunarchive]

Lily rolled her eyes at the girl, not even moving to glance in her direction or pull back the curtain. “Of course I’m all right, and even if I wasn’t, why the bloody hell would I want to talk to you about it?” she said rather caustically. She couldn’t even begin to comprehend Medea’s idiocy, especially not today. An intelligent person would have left her alone, recognizing that she wouldn’t want to be bothered by someone she disliked, but clearly she was not one. Finally moving back to pull the curtains away, she narrowed her eyes when she saw the state Medea was in, her eyes studying the girls’ injuries closely. “If you came here looking for my brother, he had to leave.” she said, having noticed Medea and James dancing earlier, although it seemed like a lifetime ago. “Did you break your arm during the attack?”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Medea rolled her eyes exasperatedly, not even after being tortured half to death could Lily find a nice bone in her body in regards to Medea. She sighed defeated, just loud enough for Lily to hear,  ❝I’m sorry,okay. I just wanted to check you were okay - you might not like me but I have nothing against you - and when I heard the whispers around the castle... forget it. I’ll leave you alone.❞ She shuffled herself back onto the bed, smirking to herself as she made herself comfortable but only for a fraction of second before the curtain swooshed open and Lily’s shock of Red hair appeared in her line of sight.  ❝I’m not here for your brother, in any case he found me earlier - he’s the one that brought be down here in the first place.❞ No point in lying about that, in fact she was sure that truth would annoy Lily more than anything else. Looking down sadly at the arm in the sling, she silently questioned whether Lily was asking if she herself had broken her arm: of course, the truth was she had, but why would Lily suspect that? ❝One of the Death Eaters holding my group.❞ She answered instead, nodding slowly.  ❝Apparently you’re not the only one that doesn’t trust me to be who I say I am.❞

[albusspxtter]

“Good. Hospital wing?”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

❝If you insist.❞

[lilylunarchive]

Lily was often found surrounded by family and friends, but in this instance, all the redhead wanted was to be alone. As much as she loved her family, having to constantly insist that she was fine had grown to be exhausting. She didn’t like being fussed over. She didn’t like being pitied. She didn’t like being seen by people while she was in such a weak, vulnerable state. She didn’t like any of this. It had taken hours, but she finally got her family to leave her be for a short while, asking if they could bring her some food from the kitchens. But as soon as she laid back to rest in the pillows, a voice called out for her. Nott. Oh, this day just kept getting better and better. “Go away, Nott. I’m not in the bloody mood to deal with you today.” she snapped, not in the mood for what was sure to be another exhausting conversation.

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

The Wotter clan let pretty sharpish, Medea was surprised that they had left Lily unattended at all. She should have know that Lily would have been less than welcoming, in fact - she did. She was actually expecting much worse. Medea made no move to part the curtains, allowing Lily her privacy as any good person would have: she was after all playing that part.  ❝I’m sorry.❞ She spoke, keeping her voice somewhat low so as not to disturb the rest of the hospital wing.  ❝I just -- I heard you’d - well, I heard things had been bad for you and I just wanted to check you were .... okay.❞

[thexrosexweasley]

She spoke while she walked, fast enough since she wasn’t sure Medea’s legs were even injured. “Naaahh, I’m fine. Takes more than an army of Death Eaters invading the one place we thought was safe to get us Weasley girls down.” Damn. She really needed to stop letting the morbid jokes slip from her brain and out her mouth. There had to be a filter sometimes. “Really, though. I was lucky in comparison to most I’ve seen…” Probably because I just sat down and shut up, spent the whole time planning instead of doing and now my cousin’s torn to bits.

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Rose put on a good show, but Medea suspected she had been more effected by the events of the night than she was letting on. Mentally if not physically. She didn’t know all the details of what happened in the other groups but Rose’s condition was all the evidence she needed to see that she hadn’t been used the way her cousin had been, but perhaps that affected her too. Guilt. ❝Mhmm... in comparison, but we’re all alive. That’s all that matters; right?❞ She said, stumbling slightly as they made their way to the hospital wing.

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Medea returned to the hospital wing, like instructed, later that day. Her head felt more or less fine, except for a dull ache, but her arm and her back were paining her; especially her arm. For a moment she considered whether she’d taken things too far, but quickly reprimanded herself: There was no such thing as being too cautious. The matron escorted her to a bed, and she would have to have been blind not to noticed who was in the bed beside her. There was a handful of people crowding around the bed, most with red hair. Lily Potter. Whether this turn of fate was good luck or bad, Medea hadn’t decided as she perched herself on the edge of her own bed as the Nurse rushed off again. She wasn’t of high importance it seemed; oh well - it gave her time to talk to dear Lily. ❝Lily? Is that you?❞  She called out, through the closed hospital curtains. 

[jspotterii-blog]

James’ siblings meant everything to him. When he had been faced with a boggart, it was their dead bodies that he saw. Losing them was his biggest fear and his father had taught him early in his life that it was good to have that fear. What was important was to overcome it. And what was life without having people to live it with? “She is,” James agreed. “She’s a firecracker, always has been. Sometimes she tries to be too strong.” She hadn’t cried over their father even. Then again, neither had James, but he knew that Lily had always ruled herself more with emotions than James had. She just didn’t allow herself to show it because she felt it was a weakness rather than seeing it for a strength. “But I just need to see her with my own eyes. I’ll find her, but I’m’ not about to leave you here like this either.” Not when she was back to the tears, clearly trying to face fears of her own. His posture straightened at her words and he ducked enough to look her in the eyes. “No, they don’t. You’re not a traitor so long as you’re fighting for what you believe in. As long as you’re not betraying yourself. They are trying to get you to be scared of them, and you need to show that you’re stronger than that. We don’t know what’s going to happen after this, but the one thing that can’t be taken from us is the strength of our own convictions. You’re stronger than they are, Medea, because you didn’t choose the easy route.”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Despite face value, James Potter had heart. He was caring, even for those that meant very little to him. His kindness expanded family and friends, and some might see that as a trait to be admired, as something worthy but Medea saw it as weakness. When faced with danger and in the midst of war, it would be that kindness that would get him killed: but all the better for her - ❝You’re family’s more important than me. We’re not even friends - you can go.❞ - continue to be kind James Potter.  She’d test him, see just how kind he really was - just how much he cared for the well being of those around him. What he’d sacrifice and put on hold to help others. She sniffed loudly, shaking her head.  ❝You don’t understand. I was supposed to be one of them, they expect me to be one of them and I’m useless to them the way I am. I’m a traitor to my family. Being myself, and fighting for what I believe in is gonna get me killed, how am I supposed to stay strong when I know that? This was just a taster of what they could do... I’m scared. ❞ 

[albusspxtter]

“I know,” he says with a playful smile. “Can you walk?”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

Oh how she’d like just a chance to wipe that stupid smile off his face. ❝I think so.❞

[albusspxtter]

He nods to tell her he understands. “Okay, let me help you down to the hospital wing.” He stands and reaches out to hold the elbow of her good arm so he can help her up.

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

❝You’re so very good Albus.❞ She said, endearingly, though she couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t a quality he should be proud of, perhaps he was naively kind and good. This war would ruin him. 

[albusspxtter]

His eyes fall to her arms when she mentions it and he cringes. “Yeah, that looks broken. Are you in a lot of pain?” 

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

❝I don’t know... my heads kind of.... ❞ She raised a hand to touch the wound on her head, pulling her hadn away to look at the blood on her fingers. Frowning she finished the sentence.  ❝Fuzzy.❞

[serpentinadia-blog]

(Private)

[serpentinadia-blog]

“Let them?” Nadia asked numbly, “And give them the satisfaction?” In truth, she didn’t care at this point who saw her, but she didn’t understand Medea’s thinking. “Leo is dead, and no one will care, no one will mourn him all because of a stupid mark on his arm.” She said, “And I’m not naive enough to think they won’t paint me with the same brush. No one will care. I’ll be lucky if I’m not expelled or arrested at this point.” She pulled her arms closer to her chest, “None of it matters anymore, Medea. Me crying in front of them won’t change that, but I–Merlin, I won’t fall apart in front of them.”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

❝Yes, let them.❞ She confirmed, nodding her head as she moved to stand at the other end of the window. Her arm was in a cast and her back was bruised, but sitting was almost worse that standing at this point.  ❝Leo is dead and yes you will be tarnished with the same brush, but they have no proof. Cry in front of them. Mourn for your brother, let them see you hurting because they think us monsters; and monsters do not cry. Monsters do not care. They do not love.❞ Medea raised her chin, Nadia may not have been a monster - but she was.  ❝Let them suspect, but never give them reason to believe. Everyone think’s crying is a weakness, and it is, but sometimes it’s also your greatest weapon Nadia. Let them pity you, because that means they underestimate you.❞

[jspotterii-blog]

James fake smile fell flat, his face going ashen at the mention of his siblings. His face scrunched up and it couldn’t be said if his face was pale and clammy from the blood loss or if it was the fact that he had worried himself sick. His stomach was cramping every moment that his siblings were unaccounted for. “Albus - Albus should be okay. I…he was last I saw him.” His hands were growing sweaty and he lifted them from Medea’s form, swiping his left hand across his dress shirt. “But Lily…they…they showed me…” His eyes grew dark and glazed over as if he was no longer there. And he wasn’t mentally. He was relieving the taunting from those two Death Eaters, waving that piece of his sister’s dress in his face as if they would get any more information out of him that he hadn’t already told the first one that had threatened his brother. His fingers curled into a fist. “I have to find them yet. But I want you to promise me you’ll go the infirmary first.” As he listened to her explain what happened, his lips pressed into a thin line. He was never the best with tears. He was only used to Albus crying to him. Lily hadn’t since she was small, six and scared of the storms. “Hey, hey, you’re alright now. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

[pocketsfullofsins-blog]

There was that look again, fear. It painted across his features like a wave washes across the sand on a beach. Medea had never understood this attachment, she had never felt this close to anyone that she’d shut down if anything happened to them. And she was glad, because it was a weakness. Look how he had given in at the mere mention of harm coming to his brother, she had been present to see his world fall apart when he’d been presented with that strip of Lily’s dress. She’d not fall victim to such attachments.  His hands had finally fallen from her, and she sighed in relief - but turned it into a shudder of a sob. ❝I’m sure she’s okay - she’s strong. She’ll be okay.❞ She reassured him, as a friend would do. She looked up at him then, confusion written into the lines of her face.  ❝Find your family. Don’t worry about me - you shouldn’t worry about me. ❞ He comforted her again, thought it seemed much like her own words of comfort. So very forced, even if he meant them. She found herself thinking about how tolerable James was in comparison to others; others who would have smothered her in affection and comfort.  ❝This is only the start though isn’t it... I’m a traitor. They said it themselves... traitors suffer worse than anyone... ❞