active july-22

sw: 58 cw: 55 gw: 50 ugw: 48, previously @skinnyypockywocky

[pockywocky48]

I’ve binged for almost a week straight now. Self control is out the window. I’m gonna drink tmrw so ig that won’t be a nice time to not eat. On Monday is where my next journey begins.

[pockywocky48]

Omg

[pockywocky48]

19 july - 22 july, were the 4 days I was able to restrict while walking over 10k steps a day, sometimes 20k. I’ve been binging ever since. I don’t think it’s going to stop. I cant even go outside since it’s raining the whole day, nor can I exercise since my family is home. Tomorrow I have plans but on Wednesday. I’ll do it. I can. Then 1 august I’m going to start a new diet I found on tumblr.

[pockywocky48]

i love mpa

https://www.myproana.com/index.php/user/1521109-pockywocky/

thats my account!!

[pockywocky48]

i hate pretty privilege, I'm happy for everyone who are pretty, but i hate myself for being lower than society's standards on my looks. Just wait until i fucking turn 18, then im going to fix this ugly ass nose ive been bullied for, fix my stupid hair, get a nose piercing because they look cool, fix my fucking wardrobe, get skinny, get clear skin, get pretty nails, no more body hair, get good at makeup, fix my stupid eyebags. Then its over for yall.

today i weighed 54,5, which is nice

[pockywocky48]

recovering always ends up in relapse.

[pockywocky48]

i hate life i hate myself i hate tumblr and i hate everything. sometimes i wish i could just restart in life, there are so many things i would do differently. i am a mess and i cant even feel sorry for myself since everything is my fault.

[pockywocky48]

im feeling so fucking down and i dont even know why. Im not doing my assignments in time, ive binged for the past few days and gained a lot of weight, and my period just arrived as I was writing this and now my sweatpants are ruined. Great. At least I broke through my art block and I've finished some seconds of an animation. I accidentally put it on 30 fps so yeah.. yikes.

Anyhow, I'm going to charge my headphones, listen to really hype music, take a shower, do a skincare routine, fix and clean my room and actually study for once. I AM fixing my life and I AM going to get a summer body.

March WILL be MY MONTH!

[pockywocky48]

im very bored

[pockywocky48]

my parents are going to be the death of me... I gained almost 2 kg today and im back at 56, if not over. I literally had to purge from how much my stomach hurt. 4000+ cal binge today. I'm not proud.

My trigger food is literally every food, honestly.. fuck.

[pockywocky48]

I think im gonna have a 'metabolism day'... or well.. just a fancy word for a binge. I'll start a diet tomorrow :)

[pockywocky48]

I ate a protein bar and yeah mmm the guilt I’m feeling rn… my mind is torn between “you already fucked up so what’s the point, go binge” and “restrict restrict DONT eat”

[pockywocky48]

just me who's absolutely obsessed with watching people binge eat for some reason??? like theres a bunch of people on yt binge eating with lofi music in the background and suddenly a text pops up saying "i hate myself for this". It makes me feel guilty of even thinking about food, and i love that feeling. Even if i were to binge i return to those videos, because then i don't feel alone.

[pockywocky48]

some diet plans i made before i got t-worded lol