Martin Blackwood

My name is Martin Blackwood, and I do (almost) daily posts about my life! Ask me anything :)

[poems-and-cows]

Hi Tumblr! I actually had an account here a while back, but I never really went on it, so here I am again! Hope you all missed me, I guess. This is going to be like a sort of diary, but feel free to ask me whatever you’d like, since it’s not really a private diary. Well, within reason of course, don’t ask me anything too invasive, but that goes without saying I think. I might also post my poetry here if I deem it good enough!

I just realised I’m not doing a very good job at introducing myself, am I?

My name is Martin Blackwood, and I work for the Magnus Institute in London as an Archival Assistant. I write poetry, and enjoy brewing tea. I hate Oolong though, don’t get me started. I prefer comfy over smart, sweet over sour, savoury over sweet, and dogs over cats! I think pineapple on pizza is super tasty, and I prefer fiction over non-fiction.

Brainstorming facts about myself is harder than I thought, to be honest. This has sort of ended up really jumbled, haha. I don’t really know where I was going with this. Oh, and milk chocolate is better than all the others, no debate.

So, in short: my name is Martin, this blog will be a kind of diary, and feel free to ask me anything!

Drinking tea from one of my Mum’s mugs right now, if anyone was wondering ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today we went to that town I mentioned yesterday.

We woke up quite early in order to get there before the sun really started to come out, which meant we were quite sluggish for a little while. We went through our usual morning routine half-asleep looking like zombies, but we managed to make it out of the pod on time—nothing short of a miracle. I lost one of my bracelets though, which was disappointing. I dropped it in a suitcase somewhere, which means it isn’t fully lost but enough to be inconvenient. Very frustrating.

Most of the day consisted of wandering around charity shops. There wasn’t anything too interesting, maybe a few stuffed animals I thought were cute, but honestly we were a little bored of the selection! We did find a cute little shop that turned cutlery into art, like making mice out of spoons and making bracelets out of forks, and that filled a very pleasant twenty minutes before we moved along. Oh, and there was also this amazing cheese shop full of so many baked goods related to cheese, so we picked up a quiche to share. When I tell you that this quiche looked divine, I mean it.

Eventually we ducked into a cafe to get a drink. We were all a little bored and needed some rest, so we all got milkshakes! There was a frankly disturbing amount of flavour, including sour skittles and creme eggs, so we just focussed on what we knew. I had a raspberry milkshake personally, and it was one of the best I’ve ever had. They used raspberry ice cream and real raspberries to properly maximise the taste, plus I got whipped cream and marshmallows! I think Tim got banana, Sasha got strawberry, and Jon got mint choc chip. I would have taken a photo, but it didn’t look all that visually appealing, more like a mess of pink foam with vibrant syrup. Still great though!

After we’d left the cafe and wandered around a little more, we were starting to get hungry. We had a table booked at this cute little cafe/restaurant for just past 1pm, so we headed there after ducking into a couple more charity shops, plus a retro game shop that Tim wanted to show me around. It ended up being quite good, by the way. The shop, that is. I didn’t have high hopes, but the sheer amount of random retro tat was quite entertaining to sift through! Plus, the piles of Pokémon cards had some adorable art I could look at and take a photo of for later.

Anyway, that restaurant was great too. I ended up having nachos similar to the ones I had when I went to the seaside maybe a year ago, the ones that had bbq pulled pork with them, and the ones I’ve been raving about ever since. You guys probably don’t remember, but my tongue will never forget. The nachos from here were a weak attempt at trying to live up to the greatness of the other ones, but they were still really great! I also had an iced peach cooler mocktail, which ended up being more tart than I expected. It also looked really elaborate, maybe embarrassingly so, but it was worth it. Sorry for the terribly cropped picture of my drink, I was trying to avoid catching other people in it.

After that, the rest of the day was spent in the arcades. After the disastrous trip to the arcades the other day I may or may not have forgotten to write about now I think about it, I swore to not go into another one. That was until I made a stupid decision today over the fear of missing out, and then regretted it immediately. I’m being dramatic, it wasn’t too bad, just very loud and very crowded. We managed to situate ourselves near a decent 2p machine, but were a little disappointed that nothing was budging. That’s when Tim decided to lead us all to the brightest, loudest, most maliciously designed money-bait machine, and the rest was history.

Look at that! Thats us activating the jackpot wheel, and getting loads of those little pearls. It was £10 worth, which wasn’t bad at all. That ended in us winning an insane amount of tickets, and getting way too confident. We then moved onto the next machine, the second most flashy and malicious machine in the whole place, and getting the jackpot on that too! It was a small jackpot, but watching that coin tower topple was infinitely satisfying. It was also great because we picked up where another group left off, and didn’t have to do much at all!

Anyway, we have an early wake up tomorrow, since we’re getting packed up and going home. We need to be out of the lodge by 10am, so I’m going to quickly jump in the shower and go to bed! Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today we took things a little slower instead of rushing around trying to do everything.

We had a bit of a lie-in this morning, and had a slow wake up. We had breakfast, watched a bit of TV, and took our time getting ready. We had coco pops for breakfast, if anybody was interested. Unfortunately we didn’t have those mini cereals, a seaside holiday essential, and I’m deeply ashamed of myself for forgetting to honour that tradition. Overpriced tiny cereal boxes are a must-have if you’re on a caravan holiday, and a glamping pod is really only the caravan’s distant cousin. Maybe we should pick some up tomorrow, lol.

After a lot of lounging around, we ended up going to the pub for lunch. None of us were really very hungry, so we had lots of sides and snacks instead of having a meal each. The butterfly effect of having coco pops meant that I burned my middle finger on a chicken goujon, which is interesting to think about. If I didn’t have coco pops I would have been hungrier, and if I was hungrier I probably would have ordered something more substantial, meaning I wouldn’t have had chicken goujons, meaning I wouldn’t have burned my finger. Neat.

Oh, on the way to the pub we passed a caravan selling second hand stuffed animals, and if you know me at all, you know I had to go and take a look. After sifting through the shallow tub of toys, I ended up spending a pound on these two beauties! One is a beanie baby from 2003, the giraffe, and the other is a Webkins. They also had some lovely crochet animals they’d handmade, so maybe I’ll go and get one of those sometime before we go back home. I love it when people do things like that, although they must have tremendous trust in the community in order to leave all those things unattended.

After we’d been to the pub, which was a good few hours and a few drinks (apple juice) later, we continued lounging. After so many busy days, we really needed time to just recharge and regain our energy. I, for one, really valued the silent do-your-own-thing time. It’s a necessity for me to function I think, lol. I finished off a poetry draft, scrolled social media—which ate all my mobile data—and tried to keep myself busy. Eventually we started to play card games, and that lasted until we all got tired and bored. It’s 10:40pm right now, so we didn’t do too bad.

There isn’t a lot to say today. It has been really hot though, unbearably warm. We tried to wander around the beach for a while, just dip our toes in the water and cool off, but the lack of shade left us all sweaty and miserable. Not even the cold sea under our feet could help, so we dragged ourselves back to our oven of a glamping pod, and all sat in front of a fan. At least I saved three ladybugs from drowning, which I class as my good deed for the day.

The plan for tomorrow is to visit a small town, wander around some shops, and eat some nice cafe food. That sounds like a plan to me! It does mean we have to wake up earlier than I’d like to, but I guess it’s only fair after waking up so late today. I can’t have my cake and eat it too, whatever that phrase even means. I don’t even know if I’m using it right. I knew what it meant at some point, and I used to feel quite smart about it, but I’ve forgotten now. I suppose it just means you can’t have two things at once that contradict each other? I guess I could technically have a lie-in twice, so I think I used it wrong. Oh well!

You know I’ve ran out of things to say when I start rambling on about something unrelated to fill the space, right? I guess I’ll take my own hint and get to bed. Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today we went to a seal sanctuary!

Before I start talking about my day, I need to bring up my morning. You’ll never guess what woke me up. Not the sheep outside of our pod, not anybody else in the room with me, not a bird or a car alarm. A cricket. A cricket crawling on my face. Well, I think it was a cricket? I didn’t have much time to process what it was, I only saw its huge antennas and beady little eyes before I yelped and threw it on the floor, waking everybody else up in the process. The worst part? It crawled over my lip, meaning that if I had my mouth open it would have crawled inside. The thought makes my skin crawl.

When we finally made our way to the seal sanctuary, the day rapidly improved. The seals were so close to us! I had to try quite hard not to freak out too much, but I was definitely more excited than any normal person would have been. They were just meters away! We also managed to catch them being fed, which meant we were also given loads of fun facts about seals, and lots of information about the specific ones we were spectating. That little seal pup you can see feeding from its mum is only 2 weeks old!

After I’d spent an unnatural amount of time admiring the seals, we explored the rest of the animal exhibits. There were some cute little finches in the aviary, and then some beautiful butterflies in the butterfly house, but what interested me the most was the reptile house. Jon went in with me, but he had to avoid looking at the tarantula enclosures. I would have had lots of fun looking at them if they weren’t so well camouflaged! In the end neither of us saw any arachnids, but we did see some adorable snakes and lizards. There was even that one that was in Jurassic Park, you know the one that hisses and those little coloured flaps open around its face? Speaking of dinosaurs, there was also a little crocodile who was basking on the shore of his pond, staring at us all walking past.

After we’d finished looking at everything we wanted to look at, including the gift shop, we were getting ready to leave. That was when I passed a little pouch on the fence outside of the seal enclosure, and guess what it said? “I’m a baby stingray!I’m not lost, I’m yours to hide again or keep.” Enclosed was an adorable crocheted baby sting ray. I could have hid it again, I could have left it to a kid, but I fell in love immediately. I couldn’t leave him behind! He was a belt accessory for the rest of the day, and is now tucked up in bed next to me. I love it when people do random acts of kindness like that. Maybe we should pay it forward and do something similar in our town?

After that, we went for lunch. As per usual, my eyes were bigger than my stomach, and I ordered something that I couldn’t finish. Fortunately for me and the environment, everybody else had food envy and were very happy to dig into my leftovers. I had salt and pepper chips with peppers and chicken! I did take a photo for you all, but the lighting was terrible and it really doesn’t do it justice. There was so much, a whole chip bag full, and I know that because they served it to me in one and I had to tip everything out onto my plate, a pleasant surprise and a fun little reveal. It felt like Christmas! Everything tasted gorgeous, it has to be some of the best pub food I’ve had in a while.

After that, Tim and Sasha wanted to do a quick run through the arcade. Me and Jon reluctantly agreed, but I regretted my decision almost immediately. You know how arcades are, they’re noisy and incredibly crowded. Pair that with it being unbearably hot, and having sticky fingers from a very tasty but very leaky milkshake, and you get hell. Not only were all those factors making me want to exit my skin, but the arcade games were all either broken, rigged, or both. I was quiet for the rest of the time we were out, and my social battery only replenished itself when I had half an hour of sitting in bed and writing poetry.

For dinner, we ended up just buying loads of buffet food and eating it on the floor as I suspected. It was actually really fun, to be honest. We had this gorgeous salmon pasta, as well as some lovely sushi to share. We had a bit of a seafood theme going on, I suppose. We also shared a passionfruit and mango smoothie around, something I haven’t had in quite a while, and it was delicious. You know when drinks are the perfect consistency, and they just slide down your throat like they were never in your mouth? Yeah, it was like that. Perfection.

Anyway, I’m going to go to sleep! Wish me good luck, I need it if I’m going to stay bug-free for the night. The joys of being in a little pod on a farm, I suppose! It could be worse, it could have been a wasp or something. Oh gosh, that’s an awful thought.

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! I’m going to start writing earlier today, because I’m not too sure when I’ll next have the opportunity to get any signal.

I’m officially on holiday! I am also questioning some of our choices again, but now I’m here I’m going to try and make the most of it. We’ve only just checked into our glamping pod, and it’s somehow smaller than I thought it would be. The bathroom is a wet room, which basically means there’s a toilet, a sink, and then a shower that just sprays the floor, with a drain at one end of the room to catch it all. I’m not sure how I feel about that, especially given the fact that we’re already sharing such a small space.

The whole pod is maybe the size of our living room, possibly slightly bigger. That between four people is an impossible space to make work, but there are some positives! For example, the whole pod was built by the owners out of local wood, which is so sweet. We’re also on a farm, meaning that we have sheep, farm cats, and sometimes deer right on our doorstep! I suppose it’s about looking on the bright side instead of focussing on the negatives. It also smells great in here, and I think that’s down to the wood.

I don’t want to give away where we are too much, but you can see here the overall shape of the pod, and the natural wood material. Underneath that corner (if you can call it that) contains the tiny dining table, which also doubles as a TV cabinet sort of thing. It seats two people, so maybe when we have food we can sit in a circle on the floor and have an indoor picnic. That doesn’t sound too bad, especially if we get some fancy buffet-type foods from the shop, or order a takeaway pizza. We still aren’t sure what we’re going to do tonight for food, but we’re all starving.

For lunch at 2pm, since we arrived quite late, we went to a local pub. We were quite excited about just getting some chicken tenders until we were told the kitchen had closed, and the only things available were scones, cakes, or pre-made sandwiches. That meant we all ended up with scones for lunch, which were great, but not exactly what we were looking for. We’re all craving some nice savoury food now! I’m hoping for a Chinese takeaway, personally. I’d do absolutely anything for sticky chicken and noodles right now.

Before we headed up to the pod, we stopped by the beach to stretch our legs. There we found loads of washed up jellyfish, something I’ve never seen at the seaside before! I felt so sorry for them, and I really wanted to help them, but I’d have to go really far out into sea to avoid them just washing back up all over again. You know, I’ve never seen jellyfish outside of aquariums before. I believe these ones were moon jellyfish, some of the cutest kind in my opinion.

Awh, we just discovered that the owners of the pod baked us some fresh cookies! I’ll definitely be having one of those after dinner, whenever that will be. That’s so kind of them! Oh, and we’re reading the brochures they left for us. There’s a seal sanctuary nearby! I desperately want to go and see them all: I love seals almost as much as I love cows, which is certainly saying something. They also have a cute little gift shop apparently, so maybe I could get some seal merch?

Gosh, today has been so exhausting. So much driving, so much last minute packing, and so much constant stress. At one point we got a bit lost on the way here because one of the roads were closed, so we ended up circling for 20 minutes before eventually finding our way around the closed road. During that time I got incredibly travel sick, and had to brace myself on the seat in front of me. It was a nightmare, but we made it in the end! I think I might read a book now, maybe stick a movie on.

Can I say my usual “goodnight everybody” if it isn’t nighttime? I’m going to say it anyway. Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was mostly spent packing for our holiday on Monday.

We’ve gotten about halfway through. There’s a lot to consider since we’re staying on a campsite for a week. It’s a luxury campsite, but it’s a campsite all the same, meaning that there’s a few extra things we need to pack in order to make sure we’re fully prepared. For example: bug spray, walking boots, tent locks, DVDs and a DVD player, portable chargers, extension cables, etc. We might have a few of these provided to us, but it’s better to be safe than sorry! I’d rather be over prepared than underprepared, you know?

We mostly focussed on clothes today, figuring out what we need for which day. It’s going to be quite hot where we’re staying, so I’ve packed some shorts just in case, as well as some of my favourite t-shirts. I hope I don’t have to wear them, I prefer my jumpers and jeans, but if I have to then at least I’ll be stylish. I also packed some fun socks that I could show off if I end up wearing those shorts, ones that have little cows or sharks on them. My personal favourites are those ones I bought a while back, the ones with the cows being abducted by aliens on them.

I’m actually quite excited about this holiday, I’m just worried about whether I’ll be able to post or not. Apparently there’ll be no signal or WiFi, so I’ll have to write and post at pubs, or buy loads of mobile data and hope it works. I’ve made it through caravan holidays and still managed to post daily, and that’s basically the same thing, so I hope it’ll work again this time! Another downside is that there’s only one room, so I’ll have to be super quiet if I’m up late at night typing. I’d hate to wake everybody up.

I’m kind of dreading the fact there’s only one room, plus a bathroom. Getting ready in the morning will take ages, and there’ll be no chances to get time to myself. I value my quiet alone time quite highly, and without it I can become quite grumpy. If I have to endure a whole week with constant social interaction I think I might go a bit crazy. In fact, I’m kind of dreading the whole thing. I’m trying to be positive and excited, but this sounds like my idea of hell. No privacy, no alone time, no internet to escape into, thin fabric walls, and no proper facilities? I’d really rather just stay home.

I’m not sure why we booked it. At the time I thought it would be nice, but now all of the anticipation has worn off and I’m starting to see things a little clearer. I think I’m just going to end up being really grumpy, even though that’s the last thing I want to be whilst on holiday. I’d hate to bring everybody else’s mood down just because I don’t like something, and I feel like that’s what happens when one member of the group has a big storm cloud over their head 24/7. Still, just the idea of being stuck with no privacy or escape for a whole week is already making my skin crawl.

I don’t know, maybe it will be good for me? Exposure therapy or something? Maybe that week will show me that actually I function completely fine with no quiet stress relief, and constant social interaction and stimulation actually doesn’t affect me at all, and it’s all in my head. I really hope so. At least I’ll have ample opportunity to work on some poetry. Well, that’s if I’m not already too stressed out for it. I could also use that time to rewatch a series or something, I suppose. I just have to try my best to make the most of a bad situation!

It’s not all bad. I’ll be with my friends, there’ll be good food, there’ll be pretty walks, and I’ll make memories! I doubt I’ll regret it afterwards, even if I’m completely miserable. A memory is a memory regardless if it’s good or bad, and with my friends there’ll always be a silver lining. I just have to hope that I don’t turn into a demon over the week. I can get so tetchy when deprived of my alone time, it’s one of my favourite things. I guess it’s a lesson learned if I have a bad time, and a lesson learned if I have a good time. I just have to be optimistic.

Anyway, I should get to bed. I have more packing to do in the morning, and I’ve just added noise cancelling headphones to the list. Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was my last day working at the primary school!

The whole day was spent in the library organising the books. It looked like it had been in disarray for a good year or so, the books all strewn across the room and cobwebs building up between the spines, so it took a lot of work to get it looking neater. I spent a good few hours in there lifting heavy atlases and organising shelves based on colour, and by the end of it my arms were aching. At least I’m staying fit and active whilst doing something helpful! I also ended up with a paper cut just underneath my cuticle, which definitely isn’t pleasant now I’m remembering it’s there.

I also spent a good portion of time, maybe an hour and a half or so, just cutting and laminating sheets for a display. It was very repetitive, but at least my arms got a break from the library! It also meant that I could spend some time in the quiet staff room away from the kids, and silence is precious when you work in education! It was quite nice actually, even if it was a bit boring and gave me a stiff neck. I also got to listen to an audiobook while I did it, so it was basically another break! I got a decent way through the new Red Dwarf book that Tim recommended I listen to, and also did a boring job nobody else wanted to do. It was a win-win!

When I got home, me and Jon settled down to watch a movie. We ended up rewatching Project Hail Mary with a side of frozen pizza, an ideal evening after a busy day! It was really cozy, even if I accidentally slept through half of the movie and missed some major parts. I was just so warm and snug underneath the blanket I couldn’t help but rest my eyes. I did catch the ending though, and it brought both me and Jon to tears, even if he tried to hide it. It’s such a great movie with so many amazing moments! I think I might write a space poem someday.

It’s quite hard to write this up today! I think I left it too late, even if I don’t have any set time I need to go to sleep today. I’m too tired to think properly right now, so I guarantee there’ll be so many grammatical mistakes. Trying to get these paragraphs down is like wading through honey, which is frustrating because the same thing happened yesterday. I’m looking forward to a lovely lie in tomorrow though, so hopefully tomorrow’s post should be better and a lot more concise.

I go on holiday on Monday, so I’ll have to make sure I have enough signal and mobile data to keep posting daily. At least I’ll have interesting things to say instead of the same old stuff I say every single day. I’ll have nice photos, good food to talk about, and probably some interesting stories related to wrestling with the campsite showers. It’ll be a lot of fun for everybody, granted I’m able to access the internet at all. I think I’ve explained this before, but I’m staying in a kind of ‘glamping’ pod in a gated part of a huge site, which includes showers and other facilities. I already have an evening around the campfire in mind!

Alright, I know today’s post is quite short, but I really do need to get to sleep. Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was my third day volunteering at the primary school!

Today was a lot less busy, thank goodness. I also had some really fun jobs to do, like sorting out the snack bowls for the class movie afternoon, and supervising an art project. It was a lot more relaxed, but despite that, I still had a nap the second I got home. Adjusting to working had been difficult, and it’s almost disappointing that I’m going to lose all of my progress after tomorrow’s shift. I want routine again, I really don’t do well when my days aren’t structured.

Jon surprised me with a chocolate muffin after work, a proper one that had vanilla icing and Maltesers on the top. He’s so sweet. I’ll forever be so grateful that we met, even if it did cause us both permanent trauma. In my personal opinion, I can deal with the nightmares and cold sweats if I have my beautiful partner beside me helping me through it! The muffins are great too. I think I’d go through all that again for free muffins, to be honest, especially if they’re all as good as the one that Jon gave me today.

I’m very tired today, and I really hope that I can get a good post out. I’m waiting for the day where I accidentally fall asleep typing and it gets published, lol! We can just pretend that my head fell on my non-existent key board. Wouldn’t it be funny if I was in the middle of a paragraph like this one, and suddenly my words just devolve into nonsense because my fingers are resting on my phone or something? That would be a part of my blog’s major historical events I reckon. That and when I used to use the “:)” emoticon all of the time.

Anyway, that craft project I was supervising! The kids were finishing up the final touches on their fairytale island designs. They had to draw and design a fictional island, which I think is such a fun task to do. Half of them did the classic ideas like the ground being made of sweets or the whole island floating in the air, but a decent portion actually came up with some really interesting ideas! For example, somebody came up with the idea of the whole island being a dragon’s stash. That’s so creative for 5 and 6 year olds!

I’m sorry everybody, but I might actually fall asleep if I don’t stop writing right now, and then there’ll be nobody conscious to publish this post! Sorry it’s so short! Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was my second day volunteering at the primary school!

I didn’t have children hanging off of me 24/7 today, thank goodness! Instead I was being bombarded with requests to fetch books from different places, to label workbooks, to help with a display, ect. I was very busy, but I was happy to help out! After all, the teachers there have been this busy the entire year, and I can leave after Thursday! I was also very glad to have an excuse to not play games with the kids out on the playground, because I think I’d hide in a cupboard if I had to play families and be the dog one more time.

I also didn’t realise that being a teaching assistant was so physically demanding! Most of the time I was doing heavy lifting, was in an awkward position organising a cupboard, or was reaching up high for long periods of time. I also gained an extra paper cut, as well as a pulled shoulder. I thought I’d just have to babysit all day, maybe nod and smile at a crazy story or admire a drawing, not do a themed gym session! At least I’m doing exercise though. Maybe I should eating a protein bar or something before work.

Today’s post might be a little short, because I was watching movies with Jon until quite late. We only just finished our most recent one, so I’m trying to quickly write something substantial before half past 10, which is in 10 minutes. Unfortunately, I don’t have much to write about considering that I’ve been working most of the day. I’m sure that you don’t want to hear about me spending an hour glueing sheets into books, so I’m a little lost for what to say!

Oh, I tried to make some nice pasta today, but I accidentally ended up burning the oil. It was supposed to be a garlic and bacon pasta, but I couldn’t make the garlic sauce because of the fact that I’d lost the bacon grease to the burning, so I just had to tip in a pre-made jar of sauce and hope it tasted nice. It ended up being fine, but it was just a little disappointing that it didn’t work out. Maybe I’ll try again next time I have the energy, and hopefully it’ll go better. I could probably try an easier recipe, one that doesn’t require you to make sauce from scratch, but I’d class that as giving up, something I refuse to do. I’ll get my pasta one day!

Oh, The Captain decided to randomly take an interest in playing with my phone charger today. I was trying to grab it from the side of the sofa, and she just pounced on it! It was very entertaining, but quite uncharacteristic for her. Is that something I should be worried out, or is she just having fun? If she was just having fun, then she looked absolutely adorable and it was very lovely to watch her be so energised. I’ll do a little bit of cat behaviour research to see if I should be worried. She might be stressed or something! I really hope not.

Alright, I’m exhausted and have work again tomorrow, so I think I’ll leave it here. Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was my first day volunteering at the primary school!

I’d like to say that it was a really charming and fulfilling experience, but kids are exhausting! I left the building very drained with a huge headache, but I’m glad that I’m experiencing something I wouldn’t otherwise. Also, I’m very pleased to report that all of the classroom resources are still from trusted websites rather than AI! Well, that’s the case here anyway, I’m not too sure about other places. It’s a very pleasant work environment for me though: my eyes aren’t being assaulted 24/7 while I try and help kids.

Speaking of the kids themselves, it was very strange being called “Mr Blackwood” and being called “sir.” Some of the time I’d accidentally ignore kids, forgetting that “sir” was referring to me! Luckily I realised pretty quickly and apologised, so I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself. Well, there’s still three more days for that, so I won’t jinx it. Touch wood! It’s bound to happen though, the only question is how badly.

The kids also were very excited to see me for some reason. I got many surprise hugs, and many questions about my life and about where I’d been before their school. I wasn’t really sure what to say. What, that I escaped a weird gang related coverup academic business, and then stumbled into a cult framed as a library? Absolutely not. I just kind of avoided the question, said that I’d worked with lots of people and old artefacts. I suppose it’s technically true.

I was also used as a human climbing frame for most of the day. I had one kid hanging off of every limb, and then another hugging my waist for maybe 60% of the time. I almost fell over a couple of times. When break time came and I was told to monitor the kids, I ended up playing restaurant. That resulted in being served lots of soil on a “plate”, which was just my lap. I got soil tipped onto my lap, and I had to smile and pretend to eat it. When I told this all to Jon he had a very good laugh about it, but my fancy professional clothes paid the price.

I did get to hand out some stickers though, that was a highlight. It was so adorable seeing them get so excited about choosing one that said “good job” or “well done”, and then trading them afterwards. That was maybe my favourite part of the day, minus lunchtime where I was given permission to help myself to any of the snacks the parents had brought in as an end of year present. It turns out there was a lot of cake, and how could I refuse helping them manage it all? I also was the designated tea person of the day, which is a job I’m very familiar with from the archives.

I don’t think I could work in a primary school long term. It takes a lot of energy being smiley and pleasant 24/7, especially when you’re being bombarded by requests. I managed it, I was never rude of course, but by the time I got home I just wanted to go to bed. Maybe I’m a bit ill, to be honest. I have a horrible headache that can’t just be from the screaming, and I’m super lethargic. Maybe I’m dehydrated or something? If I caught something at school it wouldn’t have developed symptoms this fast, right?

Anyway, this post might have to be cut short. As I said, I have an awful headache, and it’s also pretty late at night. I have work in the morning, after all! Wish me luck, and goodnight everybody ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! I have some fun news that might involve some interesting posts for a few days!

Today I got a call from the local primary school, and they said that if I still wanted to help out I could do some volunteer work next week, as they’re understaffed. Remember a while back when Daisy and Basira were helping us get back on our feet, and were trying to help me secure a job that wasn’t trying to kill me? Well, I mentioned maybe wanting to be a primary school teacher, and apparently they went and got me a full background check so I can volunteer anytime I want. My name has just been in the little list of volunteers at the primary school and I had no idea! I guess they just forgot to mention it. Anyway, they’ve called me in to volunteer Monday to Thursday, and I accepted!

I was out for a decent portion of the day trying to figure out what to bring. So far I have my lunch, a portable charger, some “well done” stickers, and possibly a cow plush as a little mascot? Oh, and I also have a couple books to donate to the library. I think I’m well equipped! It’ll be quite the nostalgia trip for me to be back in a primary school after so long. Do you all remember those little bears that were used to help kids learn counting? Did anybody else draw on the floor with chalk to make obstacle courses? I’m hoping that the displays are all still cute little illustrations, and not all AI generated slop, to put it lightly. It’ll be so nice to see if they still use that specific type of decorative cardboard, the wavy and crinkly kind that borders a display. Do you think they still decorate the classrooms based on the current topic?

I’m acting like this random school is the one I used to go to, lol! I didn’t, I went to a school near Manchester. It didn’t have a high budget, so most of the time proper toys were a luxury. Getting a new pack of chalk was Christmas Day for us, so maybe that’s why that particular memory sticks in my mind so prominently. I remember I used to sit underneath the trees at the bottom of the playground and play with snails, or sit and draw in the library when I was permitted to. All of the other kids used to whine when we couldn’t go outside due to heavy rain, but I quite liked it. I’d always position myself underneath a table where it was secluded and dark, and draw pictures of anything that popped into my mind. Nothing made it onto the fridge, but I kept them all safe in a box underneath my bed.

I also remember we had a park not far from there, maybe a 2 minute walk? Everybody used to go there after school was finished, and it ended up being crowded with kids. It really wasn’t very safe, everything rusty and the floor covered in glass, but imaginative play made it way better. I never actually played, I just imagined myself playing whilst picking at the grass, but that playground could have been anything to me. A jungle, a sweet shop, a zoo, anything my little mind could come up with. Is that weird, the fact that I only imagined playing? I was always up in my head as a kid, I didn’t talk much at all even though I had a lot to say, and pretend play never came naturally to me. I did have a lot of imaginary friends though, and I did speak to them underneath my breath. The teachers were quite concerned at me mumbling to myself, lol!

I also remember snack time quite vividly. I remember all the kids choosing apples and oranges, but I always went for the tomatoes. They were the big ones that were the size of apples, and they always burst when you bit them, so you had to suck all of the insides out of them like a juice box before you ate the flesh. They tasted fresh like they were grown locally, but I don’t recall there being any farms nearby. Maybe somebody grew them in their garden? Anyway, alongside the fruits we were given, we were also given milk cartons. They always tasted more like paper than fresh milk, but I was always told that milk made your bones strong, so I’d drink it all in one go.

Oh, and does anybody remember Christmas time at primary school? The decorations, the letters to Santa given to your teacher, the nativity plays (I always wanted to be a lamb), the Christmas dinners on colourful plates, the plastic toys from the crackers you used to trade, and somebody’s dad showing dressed like Santa handing out chocolates…Those were the best days of my life. The class advent calendar was always frustrating because I never got picked, but you felt like you were on top of the world when your name got pulled out of the raffle. Then you’d go to the pub on the days leading up to Christmas and do karaoke, wear glow sticks, meet yet another Santa, and think you were so cool for trying a sip of somebody’s beer. Don’t even get me started on Bonfire Night at the pub. I’d be bundled up in my woolly hat and scarf, my eyes stinging from the smoke, carrying a little wind up torch and staring up at the fireworks in the sky, all of this taking place where they stored crates and recycling.

I’m getting all sad and sentimental now. I’d do anything to go back. Nostalgia can really be an awful feeling sometimes, can’t it? Anyway, I better get some sleep. I have to walk up to the school in the morning, so that means leaving 30 minutes early for a 10 minute walk incase I trip and break my leg or something. Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was Sasha’s birthday! 🎂

Today has been brilliant, and I hope Sasha enjoyed it as much as I did. We walked down to the old house at the bright and early time of 7:30am so we could be there with everything prepared for when she woke up, which did leave me incredibly tired for the rest of the day, but it was very worth it to see the look on her face when we woke her up to a huge breakfast in bed. We made her favourite, a breakfast rice bowl, and even cut the veggies into little star shapes like those influencer cooking videos!

When she’d finished her breakfast, we let her freshen up whilst we made the final adjustments on the little present pile downstairs. There was one from each of us, plus some extra bits and bobs like soaps and fuzzy socks as filler presents. Jon got her this adorable little toasty machine that adds a little cat to your bread, plus a recipe book, plus a matching lunch box and lunch bag! I went slightly overboard. I thought about getting her a cute tote bag or something, but it seemed a little boring. Then I thought about how often we have movie nights, how often we stay up late playing board games, and the idea of a popcorn machine popped into my head. Yep, I got her a popcorn machine! Finally breaking the food theme, Tim got her this gorgeous Polaroid camera with a custom paint job, along with a fancy cross body bag to carry it in.

Don’t worry, those were only the material gifts. We organised a big day out for her too! First, we went pottery painting. You can never go wrong with pottery painting: it’s fun for everybody and you leave with a lovely little keepsake! Sasha chose to paint a little fox, Tim chose to paint a plate, I chose to paint a bowl, and Jon chose to paint a cat! As much as I’d love to talk about how lovely Sasha’s fox was, I need to first point out that I painted my bowl so it looked like an icy terrain with a seal lounging at the very bottom. I think I did really well! And yes, Sasha did amazing, her fox was adorable. She even gave it a cute bow tie!

After pottery painting, we went out for afternoon tea. I’ll never get bored of those little sandwiches with the crusts cut off. They’re the tastiest things ever, and I have no idea what makes them any different to a regular household sandwich. Is it the bread? It’s fluffy white bread, the same as we have at home, but maybe it’s just fancier? Could it be the butter? Perhaps the quality of the filling? All of it? It’s just a sandwich, but somehow they make little bite sized, Michelin star portions taste great. That’s not even mentioning the tiny cakes, especially the angel slices and cherry Bakewells. I could have afternoon tea every single day, especially if the hypothetical scenery is as nice as it was today. We were sat on the top floor next to a window, overlooking this cute park. I’m slightly ashamed to say we spent half of the time people watching.

Refreshed and rejuvenated, we moved onto our next location. Can you guess what it was? Probably not, because it was a roller skating rink! It was Tim’s idea, he said that Sasha was watching this 80s movie and made a comment about wanting to go and skate one day, so we organised it for her! It’s way harder than it looks. We spent most of the time flat on our butts or clinging to the wall at the side of the rink for dear life, but it was a laugh! Jon was like a baby deer, poor thing. I don’t think he let go of my arm once, and he pulled me over at least three times. After we’d skated for a while, messed around at the arcade, and did a bit of karaoke, we decided to order this huge pizza between us. It was a proper greasy American pizza, cheese and pepperoni galore, and it was exactly the kind of thing you’d find at a rollerskating rink. It wasn’t the best food in the world, for from the best I’ve ever had, but it was so on-theme it hardly mattered.

After we’d eaten, we headed home to spend the rest of the evening doing what we do best. Nothing. We watched a movie, ate popcorn from Sasha’s new popcorn machine, and spoke about our days. We planned what we’d do tomorrow, which consisted mostly of having a glorious lie-in before popping around a few shops, and then we just sat and did our own separate thing. It was great, and we stayed super late chatting and enjoying each other’s company. All good things come to and end though, so eventually we headed back home to tend to the cats and start getting ready for bed.

That leaves me where I am now, writing up this post and wondering if this is too short for a birthday post. I think it’s fine, right? You guys get the idea. Sasha had a great birthday, we did a ton of fun stuff, all that jazz. It doesn’t need to be any longer as long as we did enough stuff to constitute an above average birthday, which we definitely achieved. That means I can go to sleep and officially start that ‘glorious lie in’! Goodnight everybody!

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! I can’t not mention the World Cup, so I’m just going to get it out of the way.

I’m fuming. Well, I was more annoyed last night watching the new WWE and football collaboration I was unaware and uninformed of, but I’m still frustrated now too. It’s clear England wasn’t informed of the rule change that allowed players to be wrestled either, but Argentina had a meeting and a PowerPoint presentation about it. I’m not going to comment on the whole fraud situation, that’s a little too controversial for me, but I will definitely say that Argentina played incredibly dirty and the referee just ignored it! I’ve literally never been interested in football in my life, but seeing Argentina win after all of the fouls? Me and Tim were both shaking each other and ranting.

I guess it’s just in my blood as an English man to be passionate about football when the World Cup rolls around. I’m so serious when I say I’ve never, ever had any interest in football. In fact, I kind of hated it, due to the fact that my dad used to keep me up at night when he wouldn’t stop shouting at the TV. I wasn’t interested last year, I wasn’t interested last month, and I definitely won’t be interested next week, but this World Cup? All of the late nights I’ve had staying up to watch England play? The sheer amount of money I’ve spent on junk food to watch the games? All of the times I’ve actually had something to talk about with strangers in shops? We could have at least lost fair and square, you know? It’s such an anticlimactic ending, a very disappointing and unfair one. Well, not to say Argentina cheated, that’s a very bold accusation I’m not putting in writing. I’m just saying that they could have at least played without that level of physical violence. I get fouls are a part of football, but on that level is just bad sportsmanship!

Anyway, enough about football, because I know I’m sounding like every other bloke ranting in the pub, lol! I promise I haven’t turned stereotypical, I’m just very competitive with a strong sense of justice. You just can’t escape the World Cup excitement no matter your interests! Even my mum, bizarrely, watched a match one night. Granted, she had a lot of swear words to say about almost every aspect of the experience, but she still watched it! That’s also the first time she’s texted in a while, so clearly the excitement and passion got to her slightly, even if she was just really annoyed. She’s never particularly happy these days, so if she’s engaged in something in any way it must be good for her. It keeps her brain engaged and keeps her from getting sicker, I guess?

Maybe I should talk about something nerdy or geeky to balance out the tone of this post. If I’m lucky, I can change the mental image you all have of me from a red faced bald man wearing an England shirt back to whoever I was in your head before the World Cup. It’ll be a job, but I think we can manage it! I’ve been working on a little wish list in my notes app lately, and I added some jewellery to it today. There’s these earring I want that make it look like a little sprout is popping out of your ear. The earring back is camouflaged to look like a stem, isn’t that cute? Maybe I could get a little water droplet or a sunshine for the other ear, but I doubt anybody makes earrings like that in the same style as my sprout. I’m quite particular about things like that looking cohesive.

Speaking of jewellery and being cohesive, me and Jon were having a mini debate yesterday and I want your opinion. I think I did a poll once on this blog a year ago, and now I’m doing another one, finally. Do you mix gold and silver jewellery or not? I personally don’t, I think it looks strange on me, especially if I have silver jewellery and a golden belt or something. Jon only wears gold, but he thinks it would look fine on me and I’m being a bit too picky. What do you think? I don’t care what other people do, but if I looked in a mirror and I had on an outfit that had both gold and silver, I don’t think I’d like it. Somebody else could pull it off perfectly I’m sure, just not me for some reason.

Mixing gold and silver, yes or no?

Yes!

No!

Voting ended onJul 19

Woah, isn’t that weird? Putting a poll here feels so unnatural. Maybe I should start branching out and using gifs and things though? Maybe I should get with the times a little bit, start doing what everybody else is doing and add blinkies, dividers and stuff. Yes, I am aware of blinkies! I live under a rock, but I do often find myself idly scrolling through poetry tags and seeing very pretty posts that use pixel graphics and stamps. Would something like that suit this blog? I don’t think so. Maybe this poll will be the second and last. Actually, it might not be the second. Did I do multiple when I first started this blog? I can’t be bothered to go digging, so I’ll just name this as the second and hope nobody fact checks me, lol!

Anyway, I’m going to finish writing so I can use all of Jon’s fancy body scrubs without him knowing. He has a chocolate one that smells good enough to eat. I actually licked one of those when I was younger, and as much as it smelled exactly like chocolate, it certainly didn’t taste like it.

Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today we started working on the boat again.

It’s officially been a week, which means the epoxy dried completely! That meant we could start sanding down everything once again, just to make sure everything was smooth after filling in all of the little gaps in the wood. It was just as exhausting as the first round of sanding, my arms ached just as much, but it was over quickly enough ready for us to move onto a more fun step. Well, I say “more fun”, but it was really just less physically demanding.

Sealing the wood didn’t take very long. It maybe took an hour or so to get an even coat of the epoxy resin across the whole boat, and I honestly expected it to take a lot longer! I was really pleased with the result, until I realised we had to wait another hour or more for it to dry, and then we had to apply more coats. We spent a ridiculous amount of our day just waiting for the resin to dry, applying another coat, and then waiting for it to dry again. It was mind numbing to say the least, but I’m glad it’s all out of the way now!

Well, I say it’s all out of the way, but the next steps are to apply primer, and then sand that all down too. That will have to be a job for tomorrow, because we’ve already spent hours and hours working on the boat today, plus it’s 9:38pm. I’m sick of it now, but I know I’ll thank myself later when me and Jon are out on the lake together sharing a romantic chocolate fondue or something equally as cheesy. It’ll be worth it! If it takes this much effort, it’s worth the end result. Good things are worth working hard for and all that.

Oh, speaking of being out on the lake, we now have a boat deadline! On the 12th of August, there’s going to be a solar eclipse! Isn’t that so exciting? I’ve never seen a solar eclipse before, and I’m pretty sure this’ll be a once in a lifetime thing for me. I’d ideally like to view it out on the lake with everybody, and maybe Tim and Sasha could hire another two person boat or something, but if there’s other plans then I’d gladly go along with them. Whatever the plan, I’d like to have the boat finished by then so we at least have the option.

I’m looking at the solar eclipse map, and it looks like the UK has a decent partial eclipse! The best place to view it in England is apparently Cornwall, which initially got me super excited since we’re going in August, but we’re still in Scotland on the 12th. Still, we could maybe travel to the best place to view it in Scotland, or maybe fly down for a weekend? I say fly, because I’m sick of those ridiculously long drives we keep subjecting ourselves to. Also, I need to experience being on a plane at least once in my life, right?

I’m so excited for that. I’ve always wanted to see a solar eclipse. That, and also the northern lights. Does anybody remember when the northern lights were visible in England super clearly that one night? I was devastated to find out that I’d slept right through them. Literally gutted. I desperately want to see them properly, maybe view them from the Lake District or something. I suppose that can be a goal for this winter, if we ever book something. I’ll just have to keep checking the forecasts and hoping!

Ah, by the way, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this or not, but pretty soon I’m going on a glamping (glamorous camping I think?) trip with everybody. I think I told you all that it was a possibility a good while ago, but now it’s definitely happening, booked, and rapidly approaching. Unfortunately, there’ll be no WiFi. I figured out how to send you all updates during the whole maggot situation somehow, but I’m not that desperate this time, so if posting stops after I announce I’m on my way to the site you know why! I will try my very best to get you all your (almost) daily posts, but if it’s physically impossible then there isn’t much I can do.

Okay, on that disappointing note, I’m going to jump in the shower! I do need to get around to answering Asks as well. My inbox has been sat full for ages, and every day I don’t get around to it it’s sitting like unfinished work with a deadline approaching. I promise I’ve read them all and thought about my answers, and even sent some to the group chat with an “awhh!” message, I’m just busy!

Goodnight everybody! ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today me and Jon went on a walk, and then got pub food.

The weather was perfect for a walk today. It was sunny, but also quite breezy. It was the perfect balance of hot and cold, but when you were underneath the shade of the trees it also didn’t turn too chilly. The sunshine also meant that, for once, everything didn’t look grey and sad. That meant I could take some pretty pictures for you all without exposing the awful British weather which causes the blue sky to be hidden 70% of the time. Look at how lovely everything looks!

Oh, and you’ll never guess who we ran into on the way around. Daisy! She said she was out on official business, but I didn’t believe her. She lives in England, why would she be walking around this random little area in Scotland? I think she was checking on how we were and decided to be a bit of a tourist while she was up here. I don’t blame her, the walks around here are stunning. Apparently Basira was in a zoom meeting or something, which was unfortunate as I’d really have liked to see her too. It was great to see Daisy anyway, and her and Jon actually got along quite well together, which was kind of unexpected. I guess they make good friends when there isn’t murder and trauma in the way, even though that’s what caused them to meet in the first place. It’s funny how things work, isn’t it?

We also bumped into somebody else on our walk. A very brave squirrel, that may or may not have attacked me if I didn’t move when I did. The gif is underneath, look at how close he was! My camera was zoomed in, so he was maybe like a meter in front of me. I was filming for a good 30 seconds, and he was slowly creeping closer to me until he arrived on the pathway. I wonder if people feed the squirrels and he was looking for a treat. But, then again, he could have also been looking to climb my leg and bite my face. Grey squirrels aren’t the friendliest of creatures, so I got a little spooked when he stopped and looked at me like that. You can see me step back, but you can’t hear Jon going “Martin!” He sounded all panicked like the squirrel was moments from striking, and it made me panic slightly!

Speaking of creatures we saw, Jon also spotted a snake in the water! The only time I have ever seen a wild snake was when I saw a tiny little grass snake in our garden when I was a kid. This snake was maybe a foot in length, possibly longer. I think it was black, or dark brown, but it was really hard to tell underneath the water. It was really cool to see, probably one of the best things I’ve seen along this walk in a while, and I’ve seen some adorable little wild rabbits in the bushes. You do also see a lot of dragon flies, particularly the little blue ones, but sometimes you see some giant ones that are as big as your hand, or really loud ones that sound like tiny helicopters.

I feel like not maybe people really appreciate how pretty British wildlife is. I know it isn’t exactly the Amazon Rainforest, but we have some really interesting flora and fauna. Our wildlife is rustic, in a sense. We have hedgehogs, squirrels, robins, hares, owls and foxes. They all follow a similar sort of theme, don’t they? Well, I guess all places’ wildlife follows a theme—the theme of the nation’s natural world—but I think our theme gets overlooked as being a bit boring. Australia is known for kangaroos and giant spiders, China is known for pandas and elephants, and we’re probably known for annoying seagulls, solely from tourists who’ve had their breakfast stolen. I really like our little ecosystem, I like our “theme”, and I wish it was appreciated more.

Anyway, me and Jon shared some ice cream halfway around the walk—lemon sorbet if anybody was wondering—before we trekked the rest of it all the way around to the pub. From there, Jon had a jacket potato with cheese and beans, and I had a prawn sandwich. I would have taken a lovely food photo for you all, but I was honestly starving and couldn’t wait to just dig in. It was really good, and surprisingly filling! I think it was the bread, as it was proper, thick farmhouse bread, probably made locally. I like it when places have fresh bread, it’s such a nice surprise every single time. I never fail to go “oh, that’s nice bread” any time it isn’t just Tesco’s off brand white loaf.

Anyway, I’ve written a small novel for some reason, so I think it’s time I go to sleep. Goodnight everybody! ^^

P.S: I watched the England match last night! It was unimaginably stressful, but I’m so happy we pulled through in the end!

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Sorry for the late post. (Late update! This says it was posted on the 11th, but it was actually the 10th! It was just past midnight, lol!)

Me and Jon went over to the old house to spend the evening with Tim and Sasha. We didn’t do much but talk, eat, listen to music and watch terrible TV, but any time is quality time when you’re with the right people. We ended up staying way later than we intended, hence the time that I’m posting this. We just got really carried away, and then the temperature dropped to bearable levels so it was like the night was starting all over again. I had such a good time, I always do when everybody is together.

We had a brilliant little fuddle as well. It was too hot to cook anything proper, so we ended up with reheated chilli, lots of dips, some really well seasoned potatoes, and loads more. I took a photo of some of it, some pretty close-up shots like I’m trying to make them my lock screen or something. It all was absolutely delicious, especially the chilli. It had chorizo in there for oil, and anchovies for salt, which enhanced the flavour so much. It’s not just adding oil and salt, it’s adding flavour and more depth to the dish. It was genuinely the best chilli I’ve ever had. The best part? The cheese pull when I took the first big spoonful to put on my plate.

We also put the Spain VS Belgium football match on in the background, just for some noise, and actually ended up getting rather invested. It’s strange that you can have no interest in something, but the second it’s placed in front of you you’re mesmerised. I was personally cheering on Belgium, as Spain would potentially be a lot scarier for England to play if we both somehow made it to the final. Fortunately, no bets were made. As much as I was cheering for Belgium, I would have put good money on Spain winning, which is kind of funny considering I really don’t care about football in the slightest.

Oh, off topic, but it’s mine and Jon’s anniversary soon. It’s on the 8th of August, and I’m so excited. We’re going on a seaside holiday in August anyway, so we can kind of pretend that’s an anniversary trip, but I want to do something special! Maybe we could go out for fancy food? That seems quite basic though. Maybe we could do something like visit a zoo? Well, only if this heatwave goes away. Do any of you have any ideas? I want it to be personal, unique, and as cheesy as possible. I would have suggested a 24 hour spa, but we already did a spa trip for Valentine’s Day. I’m stuck for ideas!

Oh, gifts are another thing I need to consider, but I think I have a few good ideas. Jon, if you’re snooping through my account, stop reading now! There’s a 60% chance you’ll spoil your present! Alright, I was maybe thinking a customised Polaroid camera, with cute stickers or something. I was also considering sewing him a skirt by hand, but I fear that it may come out looking a little wonky and tacky. Maybe some expensive gold jewellery, specifically a golden ring with a green gemstone? That’s the strongest contender so far, maybe paired with some nice soaps or hair products. Gifts are easier to plan than days out, honestly.

I look so silly right now. I’m covered in wet flannels, just lay in bed trying not to boil. It’s not even that hot outside anymore, but the cabin/cottage/whatever traps heat so effectively that our living room could function as a green house. I’m in front of a fan, I’m literally just in my underwear, and I’m under maybe seven sopping wet flannels. I really do not cope well with heat, send help! It doesn’t help that our bed is so sufficiently decorated as to be as cozy as possible, meaning I have maybe three fuzzy blankets surrounding me. My proximity to them is making me warmer, I can feel it.

Anyway, enough moaning about the heat. I’m very tired, it’s exactly midnight, and I need sleep! I can’t wait for my lie-in tomorrow. Goodnight everybody ^^

[poems-and-cows]

Hello everybody! Today was a lazy day.

Doing nothing but watch TV and play board games all day can’t be any good for your mental health, but sometimes you just need a day that requires no serious thought. It makes me tired and a little tetchy by the end of it, but the next day I’m recharged and ready to do fun things for days on end again. I haven’t had a proper lazy day in a good while now, so even if it isn’t good for me, I think I have a free pass. The day of sanding and priming the boat ready for painting probably combatted the effects of being really inactive anyway, lol!

Bagpuss and The Captain have had a drastically more interesting day than me. They both went outside together, and both came back covered in little grass seeds. Me and Jon had to spend a good 45 minutes picking them out of their fur whilst they wiggled and meowed, trying to get away. Don’t they realise that every time I take a grass seed out of their fur, they feel better? You’d think they’d be able to connect the dots, but clearly not. Well, I guess going to sleep early makes me feel better, and I almost never do it. It’s the same sort of concept, I think.

Oh, we also made chicken burgers for dinner, but the good kind. None of those soggy chicken patties with the thin bread layer, instead we used proper fried chicken strips. I then added loads of hot sauce and peri-peri mayo to mine to make it super spicy. I’ve found that now I’ve trained my spice tolerance a bit, I genuinely enjoy spice and actively seek it out rather than just putting up with it. I’m proud of my progress! I would have also added hot honey to the burger, but we’ve had it in the cupboard too long and it’s crystallised. I get it can’t really go out of date, but the sugar crystals are really unpleasant.

Where do you draw the line between a sandwich, a cob/butty, and a burger? I was thinking about this earlier, and I realised that our chicken burgers were really just sophisticated sandwiches. I guess the difference between a cob and a sandwich is the type and shape of the bread, but then what’s the difference between a cob and a burger? If you got the same bread you’d use for a bacon cob and stuck a burger patty between it, would it be a burger? If you put a chicken burger in between, would it be a chicken burger or a chicken cob? Is the difference between those two really just the shape of the chicken?

I guess this is also the same kind of thing as a hot dog basically being a taco, but that one is easier to debate. Tacos are crunchy, and if you put a sausage between two taco shells it wouldn’t be a hot dog. Similarly, if you put ground beef and beans in a hot dog bun, you definitely wouldn’t have a taco. I find that really strange. Do you reckon there’s set definitions somewhere? I know that there’s been certain legal complications based on this issue, like Subway’s bread being legally classed as cake in Ireland, so I’m wondering if there’s legal definitions for all foods.

Oh, okay, through some research I’ve found an interesting fact! The word “burger” has a really broad culinary definition, but the word “hamburger” has a strict definition in the U.S. There’s rules around fat content, what cut of meat is used, and if you can add water or not. I’m almost certain this is less about classifying what a hamburger is to avoid debates about chicken burgers, and more to practice food safety and to prevent food adulteration, but still! I also saw that to be legally classed as a burger, the meat has to be ground meat in a patty of any kind. Anything else is legally a sandwich. That’s in the U.S though, so technically both sides of the argument are still open in relation to my dinner! Not that anybody really cares about my dinner, lol.

Alright, enough talking about burgers and more sleeping. Goodnight everybody! ^^