Poems are for nerds

Welcome to my scream into the void. I'm posting my poetry, sharing it with anyone who would care. :) (She/They) (18+)

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

So it's been a while, life has changed and here is a softer sorta scream into the void

I Guess This is a Love Poem

I mean this in the best way,

Loving you isn't new or exciting

It's an inevitably that I am glad I've settle into

It is conformable and kind

Gental and slow

Simple and sweet

There is no aching or discomfort in this knowledge

In your arms my brain echos

Bone of my bone

Flesh of my flesh

Myself for you

And yourself for I

And sometimes it is overwhelming

To be seen, to recive affection

But oh, it is simple to care for you

And to be cared for by you

It is the most fortunate thing I've stumbled into,

It certainly wasn't my plan

But I'm glad that it has happened

It wasn't a conscious choice,

But now it is, and I'm happy to chose you

And your planning, and your sarcasm, and you silliness, and you pragmatism, and your veiw of a world similar but so different from mine. Your willingness to hope

I guess this is a love poem,

So I will end it with

I love you my bird

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

That Night

One night I felt it all, Those meant to protect only offered me harm, Those meant to be warm only offered me cold.   And so I cried, I cried tears and I cried out.   And the Lord comforted me. Held me in his arms , wrapping me in his wings . And there I cried in his shoulder,   as I was being torn apart. a sea of turmoil,  like a storm of chaos   but there he held me.   Above it all, able to hold the sea and the storms. I cried myself to sleep, and when I woke He was still there, and I knew He would remain. My decision was made. And so I followed

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Stained Glass

I see floors stained with colored light And steeples filled with echoing songs A group of healing souls A comfort coming to cheerless crying peoples   Pews sat in rows, Calling back those chased away,   Inviting back those forced to sit with steal in their spine,   Singing for those forced to hold their tongue, Perhaps in Georgia, perhaps in Oregon, Perhaps in Maine, perhaps in Arizona, Perhaps this will come to be, Perhaps it will never come to fruition   I will request and ask But I will not rebuke or refuse. If this is what I have to gain, I will rejoice.   And If this is a dream I have to lose, I will rejoice.  

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Dandelions

Dedicated time

And softly spend hours

Name appears on the screen and my heart does a flip

Deciding to be a gymnast at a passing mention

Ecstatic days

Long doubting nights

I properly ponder possibilities

Over thinking what never happened

Never did I think that the prettiest flowers would be called weeds

Still this flower called love steals from me

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Doubt

I doubt my doubts are worth doubting 

Because they go unseen 

They do not grow from me like flowers 

Or attach themselves to my insecurities 

Like mushrooms on a tree

They hide themselves in the recesses of my mind 

Doubt is a little worm eating at your roots 

It wiggles and it squarms 

It steals parts of myself away 

Till I am left with nothing to doubt 

If I am not good at poetry 

Then I truly not intelligent 

Till I doubt that I should exist 

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Not Them

Not when you can't be patient

When I have waited years

Not when you cry wolf

When I have been between its teeth

Not when you call her selfish

When you are gluten favorite

and greed's best friend

and envies right hand

Not when you look at us

Like we ruined your life

Like our excitement kills you

Because we hope

to care when the storm of your life ends

But I’m not sure if I will.

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

In the Storm

I got use to the storm ,

But I still fear it

To see the furrow of your brow and the flashing in your eyes

And I count

The flinches of her,

the lightning reflecting in her wide eyes,

her paralyzed beside me

I feel deserving of the storm

But NOT THEM

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Lightning and Thunder

I couldn't express the fear I had

MY FEAR

I was ashamed of my own fear

Cause you watered “the crop”

And your burned forest “so it could live”

But I see no life after you

Rain and fire never mix

Yet I find your truest self is not the rain

But the thunder and lightning

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Relampágo

But I saw it in your eyes

The electricity building

And all the near misses

And broken furniture

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

I said I’d never give you the satisfaction,

Of my mind, my thoughts, my poems

That you would be like water rolling off my back

But I refused to call you what you are

A thunderstorm, soaking my cloths

Flashing with anger, booming in its wake

Count the seconds between

Till we see day

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Then on a walk

Away she went

Till her thoughts called her back

And to her spot she returned

3/3/21

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Grave

In the cold she stood

Looking at the the fresh dirt

--- came to her saying

You’ve grabbed a shovel

And placed it at your headstone

Do you really wish to dig?

To reveal what has been dead?

You died then and now you live

Do not bring it back

(Leave it there)

Still she held the shovel in her hand

What if it still lives

(and I truly was never anything different)

Let it remain

And return to me

And --- extended --’s hand

The shovel fell and she went away

And silently --- promised to return

When she came to her grave again.

3/8/21

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Stones and Roses

You’ll find her lying

In a garden of roses and stones

Hundreds of days and memories

Angel wings and crucifixes

To protect against the dark

We do not know the dark,

Afraid of what it holds

But she has made it her friend

The garden of stone

Planted with spirits of the past

Where leaves of thought breath through the trees

You’ll find her lying in the the sun

Her smile bright

And remember

Your smiles and tears

Will keep her here

In this garden of roses and stones

Meant for the living memories

3/14/21

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

10:53

I know I can write

Pages and pages of sadness

Suffering has been my song

And sadness my symphony

Yet sitting here

Asked to lay it out

I can not drudge it up

It’s not that it’s not there

Rather it’s too near

There is anger in sadness

And sadness in anger

And a calling emptiness in both

All I hear is buzzing of lights

And the sound of a world going by

10:53

3/3/21

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Honey

My crying tastes like honey

And my tears like candy

A sweetness in this bitter world

A release from it’s bite

It chews on me

Gnawing at my soul (core)

But I take my pain from its mouth

And make it my substance

But I take my anger from it’s teeth

And make it my meal

But I take my sorrow from its tongue

And make it my bread and water

3/22/21

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

Hello my dear

I’ve missed your voice and kind words. 

The simplicity of your presence and time. 

The moments I took for granted,

not that your not here.

I miss you, and all that you brought 

The silly and the weird.

The circles we would go around. 

The awkwardness I sometimes felt 

and could not place.

Now that the semester’s at an end 

and I must leave, I feel as though 

I didn’t value it.

I miss the smile that would play on my lips

with just a word and a question mark.

I figured out, and placed theses things,

and the world changed and left me reeling 

12/1/20

[poemsarefornerdslikeme]

I am Fine

I am not angry,

Truly I’m not

I do not grieve what could have been

I’m just glad it stopped

I wish things had been said

Earlier in the line

But I can not be mad

Not at this time

I am afraid you believe me so

I wish you didn’t though

Others seem more upset than I

Mayhap I knew before anything was said

I already processed it

And I’m fine

I am neither mad

Nor am I sad

Neither am I glad

I am just fine

2/24/21