AMOR AC DELICIÆ

I'm just an awkward student who thinks too much, takes random pictures, and sometimes writes about her feelings.

[poetaenovelli]

i ran to you through the streets of milan

[poetaenovelli]

it’s been a while since i’ve been here, so i would like to update the three/four people who follow this blog about what’s going on in my head – mostly because i can’t keep it in there anymore.

it’s just a rollercoaster of emotions going around in there, i feel like i should just let it out or else i’ll go insane.

i never thought the i was a bad person until this summer.  people who know me would tell you that i always try to make them happy; even though sometimes i fail, i never wanted to hurt anybody. but right now, there is this thing that’s been devouring me for a while.

it crawls at the back of my stomach and it seems to be demanding of sadness, anger, frustration. most of the time i manage to ignore it, but at night i feel it and it makes me tremble to my bones. 

it’s scary to think that such a feeling could overthrow me at any moment, so i’ve tried to be numb for the past couple of weeks.

however, “numb” is not enough for me. i always liked feelings, they always made me happy but now i’m scared of them again and this couldn’t get any worse.

i don’t want to go back to the way i was a couple of years ago, i didn’t like it and i never will.

i don’t recognize myself anymore. i miss the way i used to be just a year ago. i think, no matter how i tried to conceal it, something broke. and it hurts and i don’t want it.

luckily i have people with me who don’t want that, either. they help me so much,  even when they don’t know it. i hope i will get better soon, because this situation is really starting to stink.

i guess i’ll just need to fake it till i make it.

[poetaenovelli]

I fell in love  with the lies you told me and the things you didn't give me

but I never ever fell in love with you

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i'm scared

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today is not a good day

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It's a quarter to two am and I'm angry at you for no reason I already know by sunrise I'll be numb all over again; and when I'll see you you'll hug me and ask me how I am I'll smile and politely lie and not look into your galaxy eyes. Because I'm stardust shattering into the unknown travelling through the stars that make your soul shine so bright.

late night // #1

[candiditibisoles]

Not to share hatred I was born, but love

Sophocles, Antigone (via candiditibisoles)

[poetaenovelli]

Sabinae raptae, Giambologna (Florence, IT)

[poetaenovelli]

We can make it”, he swears, and she almost  believes him. He presses his lips on her forehead, on her nose, on her mouth, in a faling attempt to stop the tears that run down her cheeks. She looks for his hand, trembling, and their fingers interlock one last time. “Just promise you won’t forget me”, she begs in a faint whisper. “I couldn’t even if I tried.” He steps on the train.

Nightmares // #1

[poetaenovelli]

aliyeboo + blur

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Lunch (12.6.2015)

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on a rainy day come and take me away

let the raindrops wash the pain

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+

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what a trip

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the right people always come at the wrong time

timing is a funny thing

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DIANA (lt. dium » “heavenly” or “divine”)

Diana was the Latin goddess of the hunt, the moon and birthing, being associated with wild animals and woodland, and having the power to talk to and control animals. The ancient Latin writers Varro and Cicero considered the etymology of Diana as allied to that of  “dies” and connected to the shine of the Moon.

[poetaenovelli]

when you got me alone, 26/9/2014