Kyky

16 y/o girl!?

[poetic-grief]

Helloo this is my into post

I am a 16 year-old girl!

Call me Kyky :)

I am Christian (Catholic but inquiring eastern orthodoxy and i believe i will go that direction) im unbaptized:( out of my control

I have a habit of collecting dolls!

i am an american lol

I write poems (mostly about/to God)

I think God is calling me into becoming a nun!

I need friends desperately (grown men with bad intentions dni) i like anybody really loll. No matter like gender, religion (altho i prefer other christians to relate to), or even politics, etc!

[poetic-grief]

r any of ur family christian too? :D i'm curious to know :3

Im the only Christian! My family is atheist and isn't really supportive of my beliefs 😓 but my grandma is catholic and my entire mom's side is mormon... (But mormons arent christians lol)

[sleepytinyangycutiebean]

:< awh... (wait, what is a mormon? :0 )

[poetic-grief]

Hai hai!!! Sorry :( wasn't logged in for awhile! But a mormon is a heretical type of Christianity, or a Christian Cult! Started by Joseph Smith in I think the 1800s. They have a lot of really weird beliefs the real Christians don't believe (like that people with darker skin tones, specifically natives, only got that from being cursed by God? Not true.) Joseph Smith made his own book, the Book of Mormon. And just basically lied a bunch. Said that the garden of eden was actually in Missouri, said he found golden plates that could only be translated by him but nobody saw the plates, bought an old Egyptian papyri (i hope i spelled correctly) paper and pretended to translate it into english, but it wasnt the right translations at all (as later Egyptologists found out). Etc etc.!

[sleepytinyangycutiebean]

smith sounds very dubious, i don't think this is very "love thy neighbour" of him :(

[poetic-grief]

Definitely not 😓😭

[poetic-grief]

r any of ur family christian too? :D i'm curious to know :3

Im the only Christian! My family is atheist and isn't really supportive of my beliefs 😓 but my grandma is catholic and my entire mom's side is mormon... (But mormons arent christians lol)

[sleepytinyangycutiebean]

:< awh... (wait, what is a mormon? :0 )

[poetic-grief]

Hai hai!!! Sorry :( wasn't logged in for awhile! But a mormon is a heretical type of Christianity, or a Christian Cult! Started by Joseph Smith in I think the 1800s. They have a lot of really weird beliefs the real Christians don't believe (like that people with darker skin tones, specifically natives, only got that from being cursed by God? Not true.) Joseph Smith made his own book, the Book of Mormon. And just basically lied a bunch. Said that the garden of eden was actually in Missouri, said he found golden plates that could only be translated by him but nobody saw the plates, bought an old Egyptian papyri (i hope i spelled correctly) paper and pretended to translate it into english, but it wasnt the right translations at all (as later Egyptologists found out). Etc etc.!

[poetic-grief]

i have this rly big sketch i still need to finish shading :,) wish me luck </3

UT LOOKS SO GOOOD SO FAR!!!!! GOOD LUCK :)

[poetic-grief]

r any of ur family christian too? :D i'm curious to know :3

Im the only Christian! My family is atheist and isn't really supportive of my beliefs 😓 but my grandma is catholic and my entire mom's side is mormon... (But mormons arent christians lol)

[poetic-grief]

Birdssssss 💕

[poetic-grief]

flower <3

yay! :3

Woaahhhh those are so gorgeous, idk my flowers but are those hollyhockd? Or do i still not know my flowers ;w; gorgeous either way

[poetic-grief]

I'm prolly gonna start to try and go to a simple church soon, something i can walk to. It'll have to be baptist or something then, cuz its mostly baptists around here. I've been stressing myself out with all this denom searching and theology questioning that i haven't been living in the faith as much as i should be. Thats also another reason. And I feel like pressuring myself or tryna go orthodox right this moment, right this moment. Will make it worse 😭 so I'll just go to a simple church and live in the faith better for a long while until hopefully in college i can go orthodox. I'll still be doing things like saints and mary and icons and stuff tho

Im gonna so i can live in the faith and actually go to sunday masses (idk what Baptists call em). And i just can't do it. I can't go to the catholic church i went to, i just can't. It stresses me out then i get nothing done, i barely even pray with how much this is stressing me out. Its like my faith has no fruits, like my faith is dead, and i need to start working. And i just need to start working somehow, some easier how that won't get me staying inside my room all day not living my faith. Heretical or not, i need the Faith more than i need the theology

Also idk if i said so, but i just can't make it/get to an orthodox church

But, like, Idk what church to pick around me cuz they all seem scary to me 😭😭😭

[asmallorthodoxblog]

[poetic-grief]

Hey. People are hard, man. I have friends outside tumblr but I don’t get to talk about everything with them. It’s hard. I hope you’re finding ways to sustain. God bless.

Thank you! And it is hard. But I think i did find my people sooner rather than later :) God bless you!

[poetic-grief]

kirby is so cute :3

FRR!!!!

[poetic-grief]

hello! <3 hope you are doing well :D sending u lots of love!!

blorp :3

Thank you, :)

[poetic-grief]

Why am i so prone to being alone even if i try and fit in and change my everything? What's wrong with me that I can't do right. I never get to enjoy friends for long, i wanna be able to. I wanna have friends. My teacher tells me to go out and talk to people, but doesn't he realize I've given up already? I tried and i changed, and i especially tried to copy them. Is that what's wrong? People can't handle themselves? But then how do i be my own person. I've never been my own person. Not even in elementary. Because i wasn't allowed to be, my friends didn't let me. But what about the now. Even if I have friends, I think they are, they ignore me and play the waiting game until I talk to them. But i don't wanna be the conversation starter. I don't want there to be a "hello" if you're just going to ignore it, or if I jump into a conversation already and you just ignore it. I never ignore those other peoples hellos or conversations.

I have one good friend, and I have Jesus. I love Him and He's here for me. But where's the people too? I love Jesus, but I can't possibly handle being alone. Or is that what He wants from me? Is that my Cross to bear? Being alone until death? But how to I bear that. Or am I just not a good enough person. Or are people too soft to handle real people? With real thoughts? That aren't just copy and pasted thoughts. I copy, but I can't copy thinking. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I don't know.

[mariaportadoceu]

Please, pray for the children fighting cancer in the Shandong Cancer Hospital and Institute, many of them are in advanced stage of their illnesses

[poetic-grief]

become a bean with me? :3 (hehe)

IDK WHAT THIS MEANS!!! WHAT IS IT? whats a beanizen? I tried looking it up and found nothing 😭

[sleepytinyangycutiebean]

hehe, idk what it is too, i thought it was funny since i have the word bean in my user :3

[poetic-grief]

OHHHH OKAY!!!! then yeah!!!! I shalll ^w^

[poetic-grief]

what are your favourite dolls that you've collected? :0 are there any dolls that hold a special meaning to u? :D

ILL REALLY ANSWER THIS WHEN I GET HOME, CAUSE THEM I CAN TAKE PICTURES!!!! BUT YESSSS I HAVE FAVORITE DOLLS :33 WILL REBLOG THIS LATERR

[poetic-grief]

@sleepytinyangycutiebean

MY FAVS!!!

none hold a really special meaning but i have favs!!!

The rest of my dolls:

Some didnt fit in frame and i cant reach up there

[sleepytinyangycutiebean]

AWWW THEY'RE SO NICE! i love their clothes and the details on them :DDD ESPECIALLY the ones with the bonnet, it's giving victorian era and i LOVE ruffles!! <333

[poetic-grief]

I LOVE THEM TOO!!! THE biggest one is my fav!!!! I just hold her sometimes :33

[poetic-grief]

become a bean with me? :3 (hehe)

IDK WHAT THIS MEANS!!! WHAT IS IT? whats a beanizen? I tried looking it up and found nothing 😭