poetry

[poetryandlessons]

maybe I'm just too scared to kill myself but call it hope

[poetryandlessons]

jemandem verzeihen wollen, heißt, nicht mehr verärgert sein zu wollen. aber manchmal will man vielleicht nicht aufhören, verärgert zu sein.

[poetryandlessons]

stop making us go through hell

i hear you. but we can't keep living like this.

i know you're in pain. i know you're in need.

but this won't get you what you want. honestly, you'll never get what you want. at least not in the same way you want it.

we need to find new ways. we need to find a way out of this hell.

and believe me, it will be so much greater than everything you ever wanted.

- to my inner child

[poetryandlessons]

[poetryandlessons]

'I'm fine.' - That's it. That's all I have to say to you.

[poetryandlessons]

I feel trapped.

I have to be like everyone else

or else it won't work

I don't want to be like everyone else

let me be myself, please

[poetryandlessons]

the world makes me sick i can’t eat i can’t sleep i can’t sit still i can’t move i’m stuck here stuck in this stupid world i know it’s big but it feels small i feel trapped there’s no exit unless i kill myself.

but i won’t do that because who knows what’s next?

[poetryandlessons]

I don't need you. I don't need you.

You broke me Now I have to fix myself Because you never fixed yourself And didn't care about the consequences About the effect it has on me

I shattered. I broke down. I lost.

You don't see me You never will

So this is my goodbye.

[poetryandlessons]

you showed me what everything is not

you showed me what love is not

you showed me what friends are not

you showed me what safety is not

you showed me what trust is not

you could learn so much from me now

but that's the wrong way

you always showed me the way it shouldn't be.

[poetryandlessons]

It was a lie

It was a goddamn lie

I don’t know how to get over you

I thought I do

But again I’m here

Sobbing

I’m so pathetic

Finding everyday the smallest things that remind me of us

Knowing it doesn’t matter to you

Knowing you’re doing the smallest things with her now

With her

With her

With her... 

[poetryandlessons]

I don't have to be there for her.  I'm not responsible for her well-being. It's not my job to check if she's ok. I was sick my whole life and she didn't notice. She had to be there for me. She was responsible for my well-being. It was her job to check if i'm ok.

[poetryandlessons]

It's unbearable for me that someone who once wanted me

Doesn't want me anymore

That's the prove for me

I'm not good enough

I'm not for the long run

[poetryandlessons]

Du hast mich zurückgewiesen. Du hast mich abgewiesen. Du hast mich vernachlässigt. Du hast mir beigebracht, dass die Welt ein grausamer Ort ist. Dass alle Menschen schlecht sind. Dass jeder nur an sich denkt und böse Absichten hat.

Du hast dafür gesorgt, dass ich niemandem vertraue. Dass ich nicht glauben kann, dass es jemand mit mir gut meint. Du hast dafür gesorgt, dass ich mich allein fühle. Dass ich einsam bin. Mein ganzes verficktes Leben fühle ich mich schon allein. Fick dich. Scheiß auf dich. Ich schulde dir nichts. Ich habe kein Mitleid mehr. Ich hätte dich damals gebraucht, aber offensichtlich habe ich es trotzdem geschafft. Und jetzt brauche ich dich nicht. Behalt dein scheiß Geld für dich. Behalt dein scheiß Selbstmitleid für dich. Behalt dein scheiß Leben für dich. Ich will nicht werden wie du.

[poetryandlessons]

I’d rather live my life almost happily, but with you Than risk never feeling anything ever again.

[poetryandlessons]

I’m scared to never feel this close to being comfortable with someone again I’m scared to never feel this close to being in love with someone again I’m so scared to never feel this close to someone again I’d rather live my life this close to feeling happy again Than risking to never feel anything ever again.

[poetryandlessons]

the loneliness is eating me from the inside

each day one more bite

soon there won't be anything left of me

except loneliness

it consumes me

it controls me

will it kill me?

[poetryandlessons]

I know I don’t love you. I know I don’t love you. I know I’m not in love with you. But still It hurts. To know you adore someone else To know you want someone else To know I’m not what you need. But still It shouldn’t matter. Because I don’t love you. Because I’m not in love with you.