𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗈𝗐𝗇

i hope you're healing slowly and that your nights, they hurt like mine 'cause i'm not sleeping; i'm just talking with your ghost and dancing with your demons and they're not leaving.

[poetrysings]

POETRYSINGS : the devil's in the detail but you've got a friend in me; would it be enough if I could never give you peace ?

dependant muse blog for brooklynfms as adored by g

‣ alexander , warren / thirty-four . author . logan lerman fc ‣ violet , hú / thirty . actress/artist . havana rose liu fc ‣ rebecca , henning / fifty-two . ob/gyn . rachel weisz fc

[ladcies-deactivated20241213]

a kindness such as alex's often felt distant of her reality, perhaps something safiye yearned for and found in those sweet encounters, as the writer seemed set on their rather peculiar journey of loosening up. " well, i'm not so used to well respected man, most of them just toss money at me on a stage " safi held a soft grin, quickly switched tom a malicious one as she leaned closer to alex, lavender perfume inebriating. " begged? so professor alexander is indeed kinky, that is nice to know " amusement twirled upon her brown eyes as he unbuttoned his shit and rolled up sleeves. inevitable safi's attention lingered on alex arms, such a tame sight yet capable of eliciting attraction. " or, there is a scenario in which relaxing might actually help with writing. having new experiences and relieving some of the stress can actually stimulate the brain " a dancer although tied to choreography often required creativity or inspiration, and safiye sought it in people or places, anything capable of driving an emotion, perhaps this could help him. " i was a ballerina for over half of my life, for the american ballet theater. but then an ankle injury had me retiring early " fingers reached for the drink, sipping away any memories of those brutal days. " back in the day a couple of dancers convinced me to attend a few classes, it's nice, way lighter than ballet. we should do it, i can schedule a class at a studio! " if alexander genuinely wished for ballroom classes, safiye could reach for a teacher in the very morning out of sheer excitement. " uhm, worst case scenario, you fall in love with me... or at least my ass in skimpy lingerie " a daring flirt as soft fingers reached for his cheek bone, caressing it gently in a taunt to move it lower. perhaps she was having a little bit too much fun.

[poetrysings]

alexander listened to her speak, blue eyes glued to the dancer until the bartender returned with their drinks, adverting his attention to them with a gentle smile briefly before addressing safiye once again as a big sigh escaped him "to be fair, well respected men don't really go around calling themselves well respected now, do they?" he paused before inquiring; "have they ever been bad to you? as in, is it ever worrying, dancing for them?". at her next comment, the corner of his lips curled up every so slightly, brow raised with amusement. "professor, huh? is that your kinky thing? roleplay?" the author questioned, the smirk never leaving his lips whilst granting the other a nod in acknowledgement "we all have it in us, right? with the right company of course" he concluded with a knowing look directed at the other mixed with humor. once again, the author sat and listened to her reason about his own work and a new perspective possibly helping him while nesting his drink in one hand before bringing the brim to his lips and letting the liquor touch his tongue, humming in an approving manner. "you have an excellent point and i agree with you one hundred percent, reason why we're here tonight with these lovely drinks and why i have a camping trip planned next week, but in defense of my publicist, i've been having a hard time with this one i think she's scared it won't happen at all" the author explained. as safiye opened up about her past career and injury, alexander's gaze softened every so slightly. "i'm sorry to hear that. that couldn't have been easy— do you miss it?" he questioned without thinking before shaking his head to himself "you don't have to answer that if it's not something you wanna talk about." at the offer to be her impromptu dance parter/student, he pretended to ponder his answer over for a few seconds theatrically before nodding in agreement. "let's do it. it'll be fun, ill even bring lunch with me for after dance lessons as an apology for when I inevitably step on your toes. is this when i warn you i haven't done this since i was like, fourteen?" a chuckle fell from his lips. alexander listened to safiye's warning attentively, raising a brow with amusement as he brought his free hand to his chin in concentration. "if that's the biggest risk of it all— then i'll take my chances. it wont be that bad, i wont be alone, i'll be one more name to add to what i am sure is a long list of sad men and women left yearning for you after seeing you dance."

[ladcies-deactivated20241213]

" girl, you're gonna look so tall in those shoes! an please shut up, you'll be the hottest person ever in my clothes, besides you can call yourself effie, in homage to elphaba " a silly laugh echoes through the living room as safiye imagines such name being called on stage. " fuck ill be throwing all my month savings at you, vi " although they possessed distinct styles, no person could deny violet's sexiness, specially once she loosened up. " cabaret's are so underrated, i've got to get some ticked to watch your play! pole dancing on broadway, wouldn't that shock people a bit too much? specially if you get your tits out, an old man might die " gentle fingers reached for the pre-roll as smoke twirled over the space, giving a small puff, safi barely hid excitement as they discussed a potential marriage. " shall i kneel, my love? " passing the cigarette to violet, she took a rather dramatic route, hopping out of the couch and kneeling before her friend. " goatee princess, may i please have your hand in marriage? sadly, i do not have much to offer, but i can assure some fun and great make out sessions. plus, we get to share out clothes, which is just economically a win. "

[poetrysings]

violet's chuckle echoed her friend, her head shaking with amusement at the other's suggestion. "i would probably get sued by lyman frank baum's ghost for using elphaba's name as a stage name but it might be worth it, I could do full body paint and greenify myself for every performance" she suggested with a wicked grin, followed by a raise of an eyebrow turned playful. as the conversation stirred to her actual work, vi's grin turned almost tender, head tilting to the side every so slightly. "just tell me the day you wanna go and I'll get the tickets for you. i start the 13th so just let me know when you want to come, I'll introduce you to everyone" then came a chuckle "there's some racy shows on broadway, believe it or not. there's pole dancers, sex workers, puppets singing about internet porn— it's been a century for diversity on theatre, I think there are a few you'd enjoy" in her head, there was a shoe for everyone. then, her train of thought was stirred away as safiye kneeled down, feigning a surprised and emotional gasp in return as she bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. "you had me at fun and makeout sessions, what else do we need? i can be your sugar daddy, i am ready to provide for the both of us and i can promise nice homemade meals at least once a week and a hand to hold every night."

[ofalchemyy]

austin: once you find the real love of your life or whatever austin: so kind of you austin: hey i'm ready for it to be done as much as you are trust me austin: that would be a dream role i would kill that austin: how late do you think makes me look bad but not like a total fuckin asshole???

[poetrysings]

vi: why, you've found yours already? vi: at last we agree on something and it's at the end of it all vi: let's see how it goes before i give an opion on your performance vi: good question vi: maybe halfway through act 1? they close doors once it starts anyway so they won't let you in but it may look like at least you tried, bonus points for not leaving and waiting through for intermission

[4ftermidnights]

attention only turns fully to the other once they speak, and the recognition of their voice is immediate — cecilia had heard violet hú speak, and sing, for far too many hours over the years, especially since the cast recording of hadestown had come out. embarrassment and excitement deepens the pink in her cheeks and she sucks in her bottom lip, nodding absentmindedly. when is it too early to declare her love and admiration for the artist, or note that cecilia and her partner had used wait for me (reprise) and flowers for routines before? "what are you scared of?" she says, instead.

a tiny hint of disappointment crosses their temperament as they realize that the other does not recognize her as she had recognized violet, but it's not like everyone stops to watch the winter olympics when you have bigger things to do, right? with vanishing wound, cecilia shakes at her head. "sometimes. i'm coaching at the moment, though." she declares, at last. there's something that people say along the lines of those who can't do, teach, but with a mother in the frontlines of education (teaching primary school), cecilia has never thought of it as derrogatory, lately even finding joy in training young ones. "i could help you, if you want."

[poetrysings]

there's a brief window of time where violet's features turn puzzled. not only by the words chosen by the other to greet her but now that her attention is on her, there's a small sense of familiarity within her. although not blessed by birth with photographic memory like many others before her, one of many of the actress's prides in life is when meeting people, giving herself the time to memorize their faces; looking directly at them upon crossing paths enough to memorize each faction to match with a name and that way make sure next time she sees them, she can at least regard them by name or recall meeting them before. she's done it with various degrees of success during stagedoor and events and it's a trait of hers she values immensely. alas why the moment she can recognize the other's familiarity easily, she found herself frustrated upon not knowing where or why their paths have crossed before.

her attention is once again sole by the other's words, something she's grateful for and shows so by granting her a smile. "you must be really good to teach others" violet noted as a bubbly chuckle escaped her upon hearing the woman's suggestion. "you're far too kind but i wouldn't want you to waste your time on little ole' me like that. it'd be like teaching a deer to skate, trust me. i appreciate it and i'd love to learn but i'm afraid i'm a lost cause. i've tried and it didn't end well for anyone involved."

[tyreynoldsarchive]

The comfort that Violet's words and touch bring him is as mild as the latte that he had ordered, barely managing to shift the frown from his face. It's not Alexander's fault really, it was that his good sense had come into play at a bad time.

( Just when Tyson thought he had accepted the unchangeable fact that he was now the big 3-0, the universe sent a kind-eyed author to accidentally send him spiralling. )

"I thought I was way away from later though. Years. Decades, even," He knew that was a stretch but he also knew there was every chance Vi might let him have it just to save on having to hear him lament further on the concept of lost youth, "Do you know what the worst part is?"

He leans his head back against the back of the coffee shop couch, letting his friend wonder about it before he told her.

"Make no mistake, he's definitely a loser but he's also an actual decent person so I can't even go in on him that hard or show you a picture of him so we can dunk on him. This is the pits."

@poetrysings

[poetrysings]

violet observed her wounded friend, an empathetic grin growing on her lips as she played with the mug in front of herself as she let him express himself as freely as his mind allowed him to, knowing not an ounce of judgement would ever come from the actress. she could remember the big crisis that came with his birthday and everything that followed shortly after and her only hopes were that this was nearly as tough on him as those days had been.

"well, he made you feel bad so excuse me if i doubt his morality and still want to call him a short-sighted scumbag" she retorted, taking a small sip of her beverage before returning her undivided attention to the other. "you're too good for him either way. with that jawline? you should be breaking hearts all around new york city" a pause as she tried to decipher just how affected her friend truly was by the whole ordeal. "when rejection really gets me i go to my studio, lock myself in and with something to drink and let the emotions pour out through art— two auditions before booking my current show i went ballistic on some pottery i had made a while ago, i don't think i'll get my deposit back now if i need ever leave that place" a chuckle. "is that something you'd be interested in?"

[milasingh]

Location: Mila's apartment (Christmas tree decorating)

Status: OPEN ( @bfmstarters )

The young woman was up on a chair, facing the bare tree in the corner of her apartment. A bundle of lights wrapped around newspaper was cradled in her hands. It was effortless how she unraveled some of the lights, handing the strand to the other person who so willingly stepped up to help when her roommates were overtly too busy. "Thanks, by the way. You didn't have to help do all this, ya know." It came from a genuinely warm place. With Christmas being her favorite holiday, she couldn't see herself without a tree.

[poetrysings]

rebecca studied the position of the tree best she could as mila began putting up the lights, doing the best she could to make herself as useful as she had promised the other. upon hearing the woman's words, the ob/gyn couldn't help but grin gently at the other, reaching over to squeeze her arm.

"no need to thank me. you know i'm always a call away whenever you need me" her earnest voice laced with sweetness as she regarded mila before turning to face the tree once again. "i'll even get us something to eat after, how about that? are you in the mood for anything special?"

[mournfulroses]

Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a diary entry featured in Rapture & Melancholy; The Diaries of Edna St. Vincent Millay

[logibear]

Logan Lerman.

[alexshenry]

[metamorphesque]

"Mission", Leonard Cohen

[petaltexturedskies]

Anna Akhmatova, from The Akhmatova Journals, Vol. I: 1938-1941

[petaltexturedskies]

Anaïs Nin, in a diary entry dated 24 June 1924, featured in The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1923–1927

[poetrysings]

location: prospect park, ice rink

status: closed thread for @tyreynolds ( alexander & tyson )

song inspiration: snow angel - renee rapp.

alexander had been to manhattan earlier that evening, never one to miss the rockerfeller tree lightning ceremony. to him, there was something truly magical about the whole ordeal that had the power to turn anyone in a ten miles radius into a holiday lover and he, was no exception. he had decided then to take a taxi to cross the bridge and drop him off somewhere else, so he could walk home and dissect his own thoughts. he hadn't accounted, whatsoever, that by night in early december in new york it would get cold enough to fool anyone into thinking it was snowing, to keep the ice scraps from the ice rink frozen, creating the perfect visual illusion of real snow.

after considering for a brief second, the author laid on the cold snow shavings and let his limbs move up and down to create a little shape on the shavings, earning looks from the people near. it was with his back soaked and cold that some reality hit him, a weight he hadn't felt in years heaved his heart. there was no rhyme nor reason for his sudden mood change but there he laid on the ground, the weight of the world on him as the snow around him simulated a snow angel.

[poetrysings]

location: hana & rebecca's home, park slope

status: closed thread for @lavendcrhazed ( rebecca & hana)

song inspiration: the prophecy - taylor swift

all her life, rebecca thought there was something wrong with her. love never came easy into her life; it appeared as more of a quest or an impossible dream to her than something obtainable. she had grown up in a world where relationships never lasted more than a few years and, if by some miracle they made it past the usual expiration date, it became cursed. the love that had once existed would turn sour, tainted, bitter and would change those involved in the process. so, she grew up thinking she didn't want any part in it. after her first and last heartbreak as a fifteen year old, rebecca swore off any attempt to a real connection. there had been people and experiences but none of them had scratched the surface of who rebecca henning was. no one but hana chen. it was the day she realized that she was in love with hana that rebecca began to fear. fear her feelings would get on the way of them being friends, fear that if by some divine intervention they ended up together the same would happen to them and for the first time in her life, rebecca had fear spending the rest of her life alone. she had begged for a signal that her destiny was different to what she knew, that she hadn't curse herself by running from love as much as she did.

there she found herself, years later, in the home she had made with the woman she woke up every morning choosing to love above all, that she realized prophecies were meant to be broken. she watched her wife's every movement as she made her way through the house in perfect grace before approaching her, wrapping her arms around her waist and planting a kiss on her earlobe. "when are we going to put the christmas tree at the center?" she whispered on hana's ear tenderly. knowing how much the lgbtq shelter meant to the other, rebecca had promised to care for it and every one of its members as if they were her family. "i was thinking we could go soon, make cookies for everyone— I got a few winter clothes for them last time I went christmas shopping. it's getting cold so we need to go soon to drop those off. are you finally gonna tell me what you want for christmas?" she inquired on the other's ear, fingertips tracing line on her wife's arm.

[ladcies-deactivated20241213]

a convo ft. @poetrysings ( violet )

a delicate plate of gingerbread cookies remained upon a tray as válerie separated bags of colorful frosting, carefully prepared for a decorating afternoon alongside violet, an old family tradition their mom had tied into their hearts. " you can take half for the broadway friends, and ill stick with the other batch for my co-workers at the hospital, should be a good amount " gingerbread men, canes, trees and stars, classic shapes that brought up memories val yearned to consume herself, times that could no longer come back as a lingering sorrow tainted the woman's own life. " which reminds me, i need to take the tree out of the attic… " black eyes fell upon violet, soften and ridden in a love none could comprehend. often, valerie hated life for cutting their companionship short, to know that one day she could no longer enjoy her sister majestic voice felt particularly painful during the holidays. " you're bringing anyone for dinner this year? i thought of inviting alex " valerie pushed herself to grab a bag of frosting, hands trembling as she tried to decorate a delicate star, an ounce of shame tied to her expression. " is that pathetic? "

[poetrysings]

with a final movement, violet placed the last line on the gingerbread's person vest, humming along the christmas song playing in the background. a small smile creeped onto her lips as the other offered half of their shared efforts to her own co-workers. "expect every one of my straight friends to ask who helped me make them and shoot their shot with you, it's all i'm saying" she tried to keep the mood light, a sense of normalcy in the chaos she knew her sister's life was at the very moment. her own gaze fell to her sister's, eyes meeting for a fleeting second as violet questioned to whatever gods she talked to, if it was easy for the other to see the anger and worry she tried to burry deep down when valérie was around. "we can do that next if you want, i can help you set everything up. it'll be like the first christmas we ever spent together" sometimes, violet wished she could give everything up to go back to the days were her sister wasn't in pain.

at valérie's next query, the actress couldn't help but scoff. "have i ever?" violet retorted with a chuckle followed by a sigh. if anyone knew of the mess that her love life was, her issue with commitment and her necessity to run away from anything real, it was the woman next to her. "which reminds me— you're coming to the show on the thirteenth, right? i should warn you" a pause. if anyone knew each and every part of violet's life that was valérie, including the attempt of her manager to get her into a pr relationship with austin walker. "we're gonna break it off, austin and i. publicly, i mean. during intermission. just warning you, it could get ugly in there" she chew her lower lip, waiting for her sister's reaction as if it was a moral compass for her own actions. as the other spoke of her own issues, violet couldn't help but grant the other an empathetic look, trying her hardest not to appear as abrasive at the mention of his name. "of course not. nothing you do could ever be pathetic, val. do you think he'd say yes?" she replied, her tone laced with care and understanding. all her life revolved around making the people she loved the most happy, even more so when it came to valérie and even more so when the looming feeling of not quite knowing how much time they had left had made itself present in their lives. "you can invite him if you want to. i'll even try to be nice and not gauge his eyes out with a fork at some point of the evening. i can promise that much; won't even call him a coward or a dumbass in front of you."

[ladcies-deactivated20241213]

soft fingertips remained caught in a couple of papers, slightly trembling as they often would lately, a symptom valerie sought to ignore upon alexander's presence. fearful of breaking down entirely over her own feelings, the woman forced herself to focus on their work, something that breather hope into life, as his writing always did. " thanks… " a sweet perfume tied to the dinner table once those cups of hot cocoa rested upon such, inevitably the woman could feel consumed by memories of older times, ones in which they'd share kisses instead of longing looks ridden in complication. sometimes the disease pushed val to be braver, do things she one day no longer could, yet such bravery shattered within that same apartment. if only she could pour her feelings out one last time.

" yes, that would be nice! i mean, the more the merrier, besides, if you say she's good, then she must be " black eyes glimpsed into alex, borwn arching in a sort of curiosity. " reminded you of me… how so? " although valerie held a passion for literature, she held no talent for writting. " it was pretty normal, violet and i went to mom's place, and we talked all night long " delicate fingers grasped for the hot cocoa cup, pressing it in an attempt to have the tremor go away. " and you? any nice parties? did you make the pie this year? " that damn pie, valerie could never forget it.

[poetrysings]

sometimes it felt like alexander was torturing himself. it was easier, whenever the two would reunite at their office or at some café to discuss work post breakup yet his comfort had been the last thing in his mind when he suggested his apartment when talking about their reunion. upon hearing of valérie's diagnose, alexander had dealt the best way he knew how to: research. it had made him spiral down for hours upon reading articles upon articles, thinkpieces and anecdotals and the writer had reached the conclusion that the best he could do was to be mindful and put her needs and comfort first alas, he had offer his apartment. a place the two were familiar with where they had spent days and nights marveling in eachother's company, a place where he had cared for her before while they were together, and planned to continue doing so now to the best of his abilities and beyond. still, his unwavering drive to make the whole ordeal easy for the other didn't stop it from being slow torture, as memories of the life they had once shared made themselves present every time he'd look at her back in her dining room.

"she is. she writes thrillers, it's really impressive. i haven't felt a shiver run down my spine in years and somehow she made it happen when i read her book" then came a pause, as he tried to look for words to describe what he meant about their resemblance. "the way she carries herself— there's no way you can't sense she's in the room. she has an effect on people, just like you" he mused deep in thought. alexander could still remember the day he had met valérie, how she had made it almost impossible to forget. the writer cleaned his throat, his train of thought returning to the papers scattered in front of him and the discussion ahead, a warm smile appearing in his features as the other discussed her holiday as a sense of melancholy took over him at the holidays once shared together. "that sounds really nice, i'm sure your mom loved having you two at home again. do you have plans for the 25th?" as the conversation returned to him, a small shrug was given in response, a humorous chuckle escaping him. "do i really scream party to you? same as ever, went to the soup kitchen and came home to make dinner" it was a tradition of his for every big holiday that had started the year he had moved to new york from california first as a diner and later on, as a volunteer. a tradition he had, at some point, shared with valérie, just like his mother's sweet potato pie. "i did" a gentle grin. "i may have a slice or two in the fridge from the last one i made, if you're hungry."