Pogonophobe

Beards are ewww. Bring back the clean-shaven look for Gentlemen.

[pogonophobe]

LOSERTIS is the problem of today's age, of which the BEARD is the symbol. No matter which country you live in, you're surrounded by losers.

Man, that's the fugliest beard style I've ever seen. It can make even someone like diCaprio look like a piece of shit.

Who could have imagined back in 2000 that the hero of Titanic and The Beach would resemble the typical millennial losers.

[pogonophobe]

@johnmc77 Thanks for being a Follower on this blog.

It's not every day I get to say 'hi" to a fellow pogono-phobe. This blog started out as my frustration with the bearded surroundings we all have to put up with.

If you're anti-beard, this is your home. Please try to spread the word around if you have the time, (no compulsions - EVER), or invite any more of your Pogonophobe friends if there are any more.

So just getting started -- what makes you hate beards? Lay it all out, buddy.

It's time to start a revolution and piss off all the bearded fellas in the world.

[pogonophobe]

Being CLEAN-SHAVEN is much cheaper than sporting a beard.

Getting rid of that stupid beard is one of the best ways to beat the inflation, kick it right in the nuts.

It's such a low maintenance formula that it just boggles my mind why don't more people get rid of that garbage hair on their faces.

These are the things you need for a barebones shaving experience.

A shaving brush which costs less than $3 (you can pick one at a discount store for less than $1),

2) A safety razor is a one-time investment. Shouldn't cost you more than $10 but if you want to splurge, no one is stopping you from enjoying a bit of luxury. Still the average safety razor should last a lifetime, and you could pass it to your adult boys.

3) And of course, you would need a huge stock of stainless steel blades. I always buy in bulk so a small carton of 25 safety razors (25x5 = 125 blades) by Gillette easily lasts me a year or a year and a half. That's less money than buying an avocado toast and a Faggocino at Starbucks. Hint: I haven't set foot in a Starbucks in over 20 years as their coffee stinks big hairy balls.

If you're manly enough to split the blade with your own hands without bleeding yourself, you can use both sides of each blade 3-4 times each. I have never cut myself using each half of the blade.

I always prefer blades that are platinum coated. Titanium even better. Derby is one of my favorite brands but you could never go wrong with Gillette.

I am not a big fan of disposable razors as I find them a waste of money. You can go for one if you're too chicken to split a blade with your own fingers. Also, if you've never shaven before, disposables are a good start.

4) An aftershave lotion or balm.

I prefer Paco Rabane. The tingling feeling of a cool aftershave after you just removed all that hairy mess is the best feeling you can enjoy every morning. I also recommend an Old Spice although I'm bored of its soapy aroma, but it's still considered a classic. You can also go with a Proraso, Fulton & Roark, and Brickell.

An aftershave lotion is the most amazing product you can apply to your face after a shower. Unfortunately, you have to be a clean-shaven man (or at least a mustached man) to enjoy it. The most awesome product in the world is completely useless to bearded manginas, children and women.

Now let's look at the products used by bearded men:

Beard oil: They look like snake oils to me. They're supposed to promote beard growth. Why would I want one? I can grow a fine beard already (God forbid!).

Beard softener creams: Pass! What you really need is a disinfectant to get rid of all those lice and bacteria in your hairy bush.

Beard wax: I could use that to polish my shoes I suppose.

Beard trimmer (electric): I just hate that zzzzz sound. Well, bearded weirdoes, you could use that trimmer to get rid of your entire hairy mess. Every thought of it?

Beard color: of course, who wants to look old with grey hair. You'd never need those expensive dyes if you never had a beard in the first place.

Beard conditioners: now you're taking the piss. Seriously. I don't wish to understand what that conditioner is supposed to do.

Beard styling gels: now that is enough. I don't want to discuss the products used by bearded men anymore. This is a blog for pogonophobia, it's about the intense dislike I have for beards.

Clearly, bearded men waste a lot of time and money on stupid useless products which cost a small fortune. But maybe I don't know any better - I am your friendly neighborhood harmless POGONOPHOBE who dislikes the very sight of beards.

One thing is for sure. Now I know why bearded men are so irresponsible and casual about everything. You cannot expect them to take any task seriously. They spend half their day negotiating that hairy mess on their faces. How can they ever get any work done?

All it takes me is 10 minutes a day to shave properly, 5 minutes if I am really in a hurry.

[pogonophobe]

Beards still suck, and I am HIRING for this blog

Sorry didn't find the time to update this blog in a while. I will be back soon, and I just want to continue to say, "Beards suck big hairy balls", and are a sign of depravity. I will stand by my statement. So, all the budding pogonophobes of the world are welcome to join in and share their experiences (a "pogonophobe" is someone who has a strong and intense dislike of beards).

I recently talked to a freelance writer from a country that I would not name to protect her identity. Unfortunately, she declined because she said it conflicts with her religion where beards are seen as a big deal. While I respect all religions (somewhat!), I don't think any of them makes beards compulsory. God doesn't care, don't you think? So, keeping beards is a man-made construct.

On that note, I am willing to pay $5 per post on pogonophobia (these are going to be very short posts). If anyone's interested, you're welcome to comment here. Let's see what you've got. You should be funny, and I appreciate anyone who's a legend in their own minds. However, your dislike of beards should be authentic like mine. I can spot a fake from a mile.

Believe me, if I could afford to pay more, I would. But I would be back to editing this blog soon

Till then, stay BEARDLESS my friends.

[pogonophobe]

Just a perfect day, Problems all left alone Just woke up, had a breakfast and shower followed by a perfect shave. My face shines like a new mirror. I so love myself. All the bearded morons of the world, just get lost already.

[pogonophobe]

Beautiful strangers requesting my charge card at malls and airports while handing me, their cash.

I have noticed this new trend at malls and airports. Strangers suddenly approaching me at a shopping counter like KFC or Hugo Boss as they need a credit or debit card for payment. Then after I finish the transaction, they give me the cash. No scam this. So far, it's usually beautiful young women who often approach me like this. Why? I believe it is because I'm always clean-shaven (with a whiff of strong aftershave,) and that definitely makes me look more responsible, and easily approachable by strangers. You can't just trust any stranger with your cash. I'd have a hard time trusting any bearded man for a customer query because of my latent pogonophobia which I find very difficult to hide. On a side note, I understand how awful it is when you're stuck even when you possess the money, but the merchant just won't accept your transaction mode. In the past, it used to be just the opposite where people preferred cash over credit/debit cards. How times have changed now. There are a few downsides to this weird barter system. First of all, if I'm using a credit card to bail you out, that means I may be paying additional interest. So, demanding back exact change is not the go-to move here. Other than that, I see no big deal with this. Hopefully there are no scams in future where they hand you over fake bills.

[pogonophobe]

My beef with Period movies released in the last 15 odd years.

I love period movies. Gangs of New York, The Last of the Mohicans, and The Patriot are some of my favorites. You feel the positive vibes when you watch them anytime. It's not just the acting and screenplay, but also background music, cinematography, and overall flow and pace. The fact that most of the characters are beardless adds to the appeal of such movies.

That brings me to the next question: why don't I like the period movies released in the last 15-16 years? Be it 300, The Imitation Game, Darkest Hour, Dunkirk, 12 Years a Slave, Django Unchained, The Great Gatsby, 42.

I just don't understand why I don't like these period movies in comparison to the ones released in past decades. Maybe it's the direction and narration which is predictable. One good reason could be more actors are sporting a beard than ever before, which increases my revulsion for them when I see those characters unfold on screen. Maybe it's the faux British accents. In the movies past, they'd make British characters speak a flawless Received Pronunciation (RP) accent, also known as King's English. That was more agreeable to our ears, I suppose. Nowadays more British characters are speaking the lesser known accents popular in the United Kingdom, especially Cockney or Estuary English. They're ok if your characters and events are based in England in the last 50 years or something. But you can't make Romans and ancient Greeks speak like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

[pogonophobe]

What are my political views?

I'm kind of apolitical. I never saw a point in affiliating to any particular branch of politics. But the world we live in is chock full of hatred and divisions. If you refuse to take any sides, you run the risk of being proverbially decimated by whoever is pointing the sword in your direction. I mean I don't really like Neo-Nazis or extreme right-wingers, but I don't really like capitalism-hating Commies or left-wing beardo hipsters either. I find someone like Donald Trump as disagreeable as a Commie like Hugo Chavez. Over the years, I have agreed with CENTER-LEFT politics. With a TWIST. I'm a patriotic person and expect everyone to be loyal to their countries. Anyone who betrays their country is someone I wouldn't trust. That means unlike other Center-leftists, I'm definitely not anti-war. Sometimes wars are needed to create lasting peace and order. Imagine how Europe would be today if the Third Reich in Germany wasn't put to an end.

[pogonophobe]

Why PORK is my favorite meat, and why you should be having it everyday.

It comes in so many different varieties: bacon, ham, pork chops, crackling, Chim chum, Vindaloo.

It's kinda affordable compared to beef. Unless you're splurging on something exotic like jamon iberico, a pork dish shouldn't break the bank. That's why when I visit a steakhouse, I make it a point to only order the pig items.

It's so yummy and delicious. I love the label: the next white meat.

If you're a porkoholic we are friends already.

[pogonophobe]

YouTube should provide a button to block entire channels. Similar to Twitter.

I just had a YouTube content creator delete my comments. They weren't rude or contained any personal attacks against him. I just provided a counterview to his stated position in the video. I was nothing but polite and respectful in my tone. Yet he went ahead and deleted my comments which I took a great amount of time to construct. YouTube should value the time of its commenters and prevent content creators from deleting any comments that aren't in glowing praise of the topic. And if they must give them the ability to delete any comments willy-nilly, then they should also provide commenters and subscribers with a big, bold block button to block their entire channel. Similar to what Twitter has. This means none of their videos will show in my search suggestions. That will teach them to value free speech.

For the sake fo free speech, please keep it fair, YouTube.

[pogonophobe]

How far do you have to travel back in time for an era that feels ancient?

It's 2023 now.

But I remember the 90's and '00s like yesterday.

The 80's and 70's had some of the best music and cult classic films we watch even today. The Karate Kid is one of my favorites.

The 60s? Now that's a decade I can't connect with that much as I have no idea what it was like then.

I was just watching a movie that got released in 1966. The songs were nice. But everything about the actor's fashion choice, accents, and mannerisms felt very antiquated.

Now the 1950s I can imagine also feels very ancient. But there were some new innovations in that era. For example, the top hat was slowly going out of fashion.

So I think the 1940s is a truly ancient era for our imaginations. I wouldn't connect with that decade at all.

Here's a video of Los Angeles in the 1940s. Now this looks ancient to me. It's like being in a time capsule or an alternate universe.

[pogonophobe]

God if I don't see another movie or video with the lead characters sporting a full beard.

Indeed, it will be too soon.

What's wrong, people? Do you know how hideous you guys look?

[pogonophobe]

I firmly believe that if we took just 10 minutes out of our busy schedules to remove that stupid, overgrown beard. half of our problems will solve automatically.

Each day you shave calls for a CELEBRATION.

(the only exception is a mustache: that's the only facial hair that looks respectable.)

Say NO to beards.

[pogonophobe]

This is what I think of soothsayers, conspiracy theorists, YouTubers, and other Internet "experts".

[pogonophobe]

What the hell is ChatGPT and why is everyone worried?

Some people think ChatGPT will take over the jobs of people who work in writing fields. I call "bs" to that. It's not the first Artificial Intelligence (AI) tool and won't be the last one. Are you aware what Siri and Alexa skills are capable of? It's just that ChatGPT is the first such AI tool widely known to people. Just like Facebook wasn't the first social media platform. Orkut and Myspace preceded it by a few years and there were millions of people using them. It just was the first well-known social media platform.

[pogonophobe]

I hate tricky facial hair. If your facial hair is too spotty in places, shave. Just forget about it.

Tom Ford

[pogonophobe]

Why beards suck big hairy balls

Unkempt beards are nasty but even a well-groomed one doesn't come close to a handsome, clean-shaven appearance. But that's not the only reason why I think you should stay away from beards after that "rebel" phase is over.

1. Beards play host to bacteria, E-coli, and a wide variety of diseases. I think during the COVID-19 pandemic, bearded people were more likely to fall sick than the clean-shaven ones.

2. You'd have no use for shaving creams, aftershave lotions, and a whole bunch of skin balm products. Try them, your face loves those products.

3. They're itchy (ewwwww). Keep scratching.

4. You wanna try and look intimidating but since almost every man is sporting a beard of their own, it leads to a colossal fail! For everyone.

5. Beards send negative vibes to other people around you.