Abiy

bibliophile | lover of aesthetics

[mythicrealms]

[amandla]

[04k96]

[inkskinned]

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

[inkskinned]

#i’m saying if existence is a void at least i’m going down screaming.

it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.

at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.

i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.

i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.

i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.

on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.

the act of living, beloved: it’s just decoding how to translate it.

[kkurates]

Sunday Blues. Nearbound on X. 2025.

[expressions-of-nature]

by Sergio Zhukov

[rarestsparkle]

i recommend telling yourself “this isn’t an experience i want to keep having” and stop entertaining things that are really detrimental to your health and don’t benefit you in anyway.

[theambitiouswoman]

Healing is realizing you deserve better and losing attraction to what disrespected you

[passion-fruitxx-deactivated2024]

[theambitiouswoman]

[drunkwhenimadethis]

I am beginning to feel like everything is so much more beautiful when I am strict, ascetic, and even a little ruthless. I have already done the indulgent thing and it was only really ever good in pictures

[forestmood]

monteverde by x@ray

[nobrashfestivity]

Michael Rougier, “Kako, languid from sleeping pills she takes, is lost in a world of her own in a jazz shop in Tokyo.” 1964

LIFE magazine

[delta-breezes]

James Lloyd Cole 

[portelan]

Slumber was a performance/installation: whenever it was shown, the artist lived in the gallery, weaving during the day and sleeping with an EEG machine recording her Rapid Eye Movement (REM) at night. The REM is an analogue to Antoni’s dreams, and she weaves this pattern into the blanket that covers her bed while she sleeps. In this piece, an uneasy truce exists between contemporary medical technology, ancient myths of weaving and the mysterious world of dreams.

[snailprocreationdeactivated1217]

[st4lis]

[this-old-stomping-ground]

(via 1854e11998854a6b7980f91eaca50c77.jpg (768×1408))