How to be a Good FP (Favorite Person)
Hi, so have you recently found out that you are someone’s FP? Are you confused, but want to do good by this person? Well I’m going to help you out.
Let’s start by briefly explaining what FP means:
This is a term used by people with personality disorders, most commonly associated with BPD (borderline personality disorder). A Favorite Person is someone that a person with a PD (personality disorder) relies on in many ways. Here are a few links to further clarify since I want to focus on tips for FP’s and not the meaning. Links: one, two, three, four.
Now that that’s out of the way, let me go ahead and start the list/tips. This is something that everyone who is an FP should read. I have BPD myself, have a FP, and am the FP of two people. And if anyone want to add something to the list please do so! (only if you have an PD and FP yourself, though please!)
What to do/how to act if you are someone’s FP:
Do not ignore them. Ever. I don’t care if you are mad. Do not ignore them. This doesn’t mean you can’t take personal days to yourself. Just let them know.
If you are unable to talk to them for the day/week, let them know. Tell them it has nothing to do with them, that you will be busy and unable to talk.
Don’t agree to do something with them and then back out. Unless you have a serious reason to drop plans, don’t do it. Just don’t make plans unless you are sure you can keep them.
Respond to everything they say. I don’t mean you have to be aggressive or overbearing about it. I mean don’t skip over messages and only address 2 out of the 10 things they sent you. Try to react and respond to everything even if it’s to say a few words.
If you can, make days to spend time with them. It will mean so much to them to have specific time to hang out with you.
Tell them how much they mean to you. Send them good morning texts and good night texts and I love yous and I’m thinking about yous. It will make their day.
Make a tag for them on your blog! Then they can go and look at it when they are upset and feel special. Let them know they are important to you. Tag or @ them in things, too!
If you post a lot of personal stuff on your blog, or complain or such, be sure to make a tag for them so they know it’s not about them. Because I promise you they check your blog everyday and if they see you complaining about someone they will assume it’s them. A simple ‘#not about jake” will save them so much emotional hurt.
If you see something and think of them, let them know. Send them a link, a picture, a quote. It will brighten their day and let them know they aren’t the only one that holds love in the relationship.
Don’t get upset if they have mood swings or get jealous. They can’t help it. Be sure they know their moods and emotions are valid and okay. They are scared of overreacting and being a burden and don’t need someone getting upset over something they already feel bad about.
If you can, talk to them every day, even a short conversation can keep them sure that you care. A quick, “Hey, I won’t be able to talk today but wanted to let you know that I care and hope you have a good day.” will go so far.
Try not to talk about how much you love or care about someone in front of them. By this I mean, don’t make the conversation about how much you love your girlfriend or boyfriend. It hurts and makes them feel unimportant. You can mention them, sure, but don’t over do it. People with BPD and other similar disorders are sensitive.
They are going to overthink everything you say or do. Be careful. Don’t be rude. Elaborate if they ask you. Be patient and kind.
If you can’t do these things, don’t even try. Stop the relationship right now. Tell them it’s not them, that you just can’t be a good enough person for them. It will hurt them, yes, but a few weeks of feeling like shit is so much better than them going through hell indefinitely.
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