Thoughts only 👹

"You are timeless,” Icarus Koh 2023

[pomthots]

standing off; foolish pathetic, called this the switch call maddening to hear, about intentions ons pressing truth; asphyxia on lapping over fixation spaces oxidizes ; a larynx coated by betrayal deteriorates in swollen deception on me traveling to a past ; dreams refracting reality is fingertips break under this much force i fear we don’t belong

[pomthots]

flashes of a familiar face smiling at me. I feel this gut feeling of anxiety not excitement like a teen I was once were. now the words are anxious space PRESSURE. of tense phone calls that felt subliminal, light hit an older face cosmically, a face i can’t remember. i’ve collected wisdom & a clumsy journal stored in whimsy.

Fingertips break under this much force i fear we don’t belong.

[lionfloss]

who is that girl i see

[kloudzzz]

when will my reflection show who i am inside

[pomthots]

pomegranate pond

consider deeply, being weighted western yellow pine; has been evacuated darkening the copper; with bleach a small mercy that insulated by the fugus resistant to changes; allowing it to with stand hot attachment to each other arranged in rows depriving nourishment with pleasure and with pleasure with pleasure augustine is not the same it is not for them run your finger nail down our tree branch returns even after pressure strung along a single strand a record of breathing, heart activity, and limb movements never thinking of letting well enough alone

[pomthots]

ponder root

substance mistakenly identified

dividing into more than three parts

exterior walls creeping over

sooty ark crust having blanketed

rock garden and metal gate encrusting branches alcohol vapors thrive off,

they like to have this pulpy

residue to dress between legs

there is this pleasure,

this pleasure that she gives me

cling to almost any surface

angel’s share trees chocked by death

trying to remove the dark growth

it is better for them to have this

pleasantly acid flesh developed from the outer

[pomthots]

Headphones, this time laces are loose, blue of blue muni 22 mission rode island is the next stop, people really aren’t patient today

[hypothetictaba]

ミッチェル

Mitchell

[fermatatutti]

Good morning!

[pomthots]

It’s only embarrassing when random strangers have to help you with your clay process.

[pomthots]

Fighting for my life making cups.

[pomthots]

It’s only embarrassing when random strangers have to help you with your clay process.

[kittydealer]

this one comes with a warning

[cold-n-confused]

There’s always a reason. It’s your fault if you can’t see it. Don’t piss her off with dumb shit.

[pomthots]

Tears for wombats, my cat and grandma

Crying really comes much more naturally to me. I cry about random things about cats on IG or the way mother daughter scenes play out in movies. I find an odd sense of relief. I’m brand new to 30 this year my 20s really went by in a blur…. I’ve never got to experience real tears as a kid my mom had this rule don’t you ever cry. It was engraved in my memory after I cried about the laundry I was 9. I never cried infront of my mom after that, or cried really at all. Teenage Julia was wilder and would cry listening to a scratched CD player, I often found myself doing something EXTRA to feel to really feel. i was taken by depression.

College tho was another level, I started to cry around then when my best friend broke up with his boyfriend we cried together. When I was home sick I would cry under the blankets constantly not knowing if I made the right decision to move away. I know my brain associates crying with a weakness or even guilt for being open.

i cried on the phone to my mom late year when my grandma passed Feb 26. This weekend will make the anniversary. I was sad; I never got to see my grandma again she was who I was named after. My mom though said this is why I didn’t wanna tell you I knew you would get sad. Don’t cry you’ll make me cry. for the longest I didn’t understand my mom but she really didn’t wanna see me in pain. Now 30 I cry all the time about the way, I miss my cat, wombats saving lives, and my grandmother passing. Little me out there it’s okay to cry and we cry a lot now and nothing happens we will be okay…

[cadathecat]

ponderin' in my ponderin' box..

hmmm..

hhmmmmm,,

yup.. that was one of the most ponderin' of all time..

[pomthots]

get your ass to work has been this week. I’m in week two of my wheel throwing class. Making some wonky wacky bowls and cups??? whatever the fuck that thing is !!!!

advice from everyone is : learn to let it go.

im learning to let go of pieces. knowing what doesn’t work and even if you like it, let it go. there’s a pressure being on the wheel and your back really does work and arms are still clumsy for the most part. i’ve always wanted the chance to work with clay so far it’s frustrating….

[weltenwellen]

weird how eyelids are our own private little curtains

[pomthots]

donde esta el fuego? starting a week with candle making, ending with wheel throwing. i found it strange making something by hand. i am not a crafting type of gal ; fear of failure of comparison. not the best attention to detail but i want to do something with my hands. a dream has always been working with clay so i'm going to practice for the next six week. i really do hate crafting with my own hands ; new fear unlocked

[tomhoppusdelonge]

27.1.23