What’s your favorite crackship with Barney? Ones that I like but am too lazy to write a fic about are Barney x Bucky (which would have the ship name barnbarn ofc) or Barney x Thor (for the potential of them snitching on each others brothers to each other, given that Barney is villaining in the same general vicinity as Loki like in a team or smth).
I only realized after I wrote out this ask how much it aligns with my username lmao
I had ships with Barney in my heart, but I can't force myself to write 😭 and omg I never thought about Barney/Bucky or Barney/Thor. You need to tell me more about your vision because it sounds soooo good omg. Especially about BARNBARN. GET INTO MY DMS RIGHT NOW!!!! Also I love how it fits so well with your url lmao.
Okay, okay. Let's go with my fave crack ships I made of with this asshole. I'm not mentioning Simone and Barney, since they seems to be canon in All-New Hawkeye and we're talking about crack ship (but I love them dearly).
Barney Barton x John Walker
HEAR ME OUT. They were in the same team together during Dark Avenegrs 2012, SO IT COULD BE POSSIBLE. They weren't friends or anything, they didn't even like each other but I think it could be a beautiful crackship.
But the best POTENTIAL would be in MCU au. Every time I imagine Barney in the MCU, I see him as a veteran who served with John Walker and Lemar Hoskins in the army. If I had more energy, I’d probably write a whole ass fic about Barney in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I bet he wouldn’t even know that John became Captain America because I can see him not watching the news at all And he would be so bewildered if someone told him like"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GUY I BULLIED IN THE ARMY IS THE NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA???"
In this fic, Barney and John had at least one hookup during their service, but Bernard wouldn't even treat it seriously. Like, do you know about this stereotype of a boomer dad who’s unknowingly bisexual and says things like, "Oh yeah, Timmy’s my best friend, and if he were a woman, I’d marry him," or "I hooked up with my best friend in college because we didn’t have any luck with girls and were too horny. Just two friends helping each other out." Yeah, that's Barney. He's not ashamed of it; tbh he is blunt and SHAMELESS about his experiences with men and be like "Every guy at least thought once what it’d be like to be with another man. It's normal stfu" and Clint’s having a full-on aneurysm "NO???? IT"S NOT???"
"Oh, we were just two pent-up guys in the army, lol." And Barney casually dropping that info at the most random moment, like it’s no big deal.
Honestly, this would be hilarious in a Barney/Bucky fic. Imagine Bucky just finding out Barney had a thing with John, and his reaction goes through the phases:
"Oh my god, this guy's not straight—THANK GOD I have a chance" Then, it turns into "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HOOKED UP WITH THIS FAKE ASS CAPTAIN AMERICA??" And then "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN MEN? YOU LITERALLY FUCKED—"
Anyway. I see ship John and Barney only being used as a "something that happened in the past and it's not a big deal" trope with Clint dying inside. They wouldn't be a good couple anyway.
Barney Barton x Marcella Carson
Marcella is Carson's daughter and the new owner of the circus after her parents retired (I say parents because in All-New Hawkeye, Carson is called Mrs. and everywhere else Mr. So unless Carson is genderfluid or trans, I'm gonna accept that both of her parents were owners). She was showed ONLY ONCE and it was in Avengers #223 (1982) when she asked Clint to get rid of Jacques who stole the carnival and become the new boss.
We don't know SHIT about her - she was just a pretty damsel in distress. But I have so many headcanons for her (if someone is interested, I can post them). And I sometimes picture her as Barney's ex girlfriend or situationship. Clint called her a "tomboy" who prefers doing tough jobs like cleaning up after animals rather than "girly things," so she probably worked with Barney. I imagine her having a bad temperament and anger issues, so you can bet that she and Barney had the loudest fights that everyone in the city could heard lol. And in my mind, she left his ass for someone else and that's why they broke up. They were ✨✨toxic✨✨
Since it was revealed in Blindspot that Barney taught Clint about talking to girls, then he was literally like:
I don't see Marcy getting back with Barney after he left the circus. In fact, they didn't stay in contact at all. Maybe she visited him once when he was in jail, but that's it.
I just ship them because I fixated on Marcella once because she seems to be a fun character. She has interesting desing and she's THE DAUGHTER OF CARSON,,, ANR SHE LITERALLY WROTE A LETTER TO CLINT AND WAS LIKE "hey, I know that circus traumatized your ass and you hate us because of that, but can you get the rid of this pest that stole my job?? thx"
Barney Barton x Allan Scofield
This is the guy who wrote in Hawkeye 2002 to Clint after Barney's funeral.
AND HE NEVER APPEARED EVER AGAIN. But don't worry, I still have a lot of headcanons about him and somewhere on pc his desing I made years ago.
I’ve actually got a WIP fic for this ship called "I had all the evidence that you were here". It focuses on Allan’s grief over Barney—mainly dealing with Barney's "deaths" and the person he became after turning into Trickshot. It's all about Allan coming to terms with the changes in Barney and trying to navigate the emotional wreckage left in the wake of everything that’s happened. Maybe I'll post it one day.
I mostly see them as friends, since I headcanon Allan as having a wife and kids, but I can't help but maybe in different time and under different circumstances, they would have been together. It's just one of those tragic "what if" things.
But Allan is totally "I'M NOT GAY!!!! I CAN'T BE GAY NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" and Barney "Homies being homies".
Barney Barton x Bruce Banner
I don't have too much to say about it. I just think it would be fun dynamic because I read some Bruce's comics last year. I can picture Barney sitting in Bruce's lab, doing crosswords or sudoku while Bruce is busy with his science stuff. Bruce would ramble on about random topics, and Barney, who doesn't know anything about science, would just sit there, barely understanding a word but still listening.
I had more ships but I don't remember right now lmao. And these three are my faves.
It was fun. Thanks for ask bestie ♥
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