The Art of Spanking your Middle
If youāve known me for longer than 10 seconds, youāll know Iām a brat. Thereās a running joke that punishing me, is not punishing me. At this point I would consider myself a spanking expert, having gone over several hundred different knees in my day (no exaggerating). A few of you (very few) of you may have even gone over mine. The results have been incredibly mixed with everything from laughing at you, to screaming at the top of my lungs, to becoming exhausted because itās taking so long. Therefore, I will speak to you honestly and from the heart about what your Middle is probably thinking and feeling, but know that spanking is not a science, itās an art. There is a finesse to it, and you should be tailoring it to the needs of your boy because tastes will vary widely. Not every Middle is a brat and punishment isnāt for everyone, but if it is then I hope this helps! Adults Only 18+. Please and Thank you.Ā
How do you approach the topic of spanking with a Middle?
1. Donāt ask me about my childhood. The answer to your question is obvious. I grew up in the deep rural south in a one-horse rodeo town. You do the math. Itās creepy for you to ask āGot it growing up?ā because I did obviously, and I know youāre perving out about it in your head. Thatās not inspiring my confidence in meeting with you. I get it though, youāve got traumas, so do the boys youāre playing with. I understand that it helps to talk about these things sometimes (Iām not your therapist bro), and that spankings are super cathartic (Why else would I do it to myself? Come on now. Think). If youāre one to take a stroll down memory lane, do so with me after our session. How about sharing the experience thatās stuck in your head first, before I tell you mine. You have to give to get. If I just met you, I donāt know you well enough to open up my heart like that, and I probably donāt want to. Maybe thatās just me though. Ask me instead about how I want to be spanked, and maybe Iāll tell you what day Iām trying to recreate for myself. Thatās my decision though. Otherwise, the whatās and howās of my upbringing questions are super creepy. Not to mention itās totally outside my headspace. Iām still growing up. Asking your Middle to reflect on something that in their roleplay is supposed to be presently or recently occurring, is counterintuitive.
2. āIām going to spank that assā¦ and [insert something about fucking you here]ā. A charming proposition if youāre a horny twunk on Grndr. That one always makes me smile because Iām immediately thinking, ohhhh you must be new here. Thatās just rough sex. We might also enjoy that immensely, but thatās definitely not what Middles are about. I always again take it back to the football coach analogy. Listen to these two scenariosā¦ āBoy, I heard you were causing problems in ___ class today. Iām going to need you to come down to my office so we can have a serious talk about your behavior.āĀ Oh man did you see that? Expertly crafted pickup line. Your Middle just got a huge stiffy in his jock over that one. Compared to yours, the football coach walks in and says āBoy, Iām going to slap that ass red and you can take this dick to pound townā. Crash and burn Maverick. I just lost all love and feeling for you. My reason goes back to my neighbor, bless his heart, Armando. Heās like a latin adonis, but heāll put a dick in anything that breathes. All I have to say Ćrale papi. Hoy cena pancho, and Iāll be riding him like a bull at Christmas. Why would I drive an hour across town to your hotel for rough sex, when I can walk next door? For your Middle, anal is a closer. You better satisfy all my other needs first, because once I cum, Iām done. If thatās your opening offer, Iām going to assume youāre impatient and inexperienced and that weāre not on the same page about what this is.
3. Donāt be the overly aggressive daddy. You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar every time. If you come in guns firing telling me youāre going to suspend me upside down from your barn rafters and electroshock my balls while you horsewhip me, Iām going to block you. Well okay maybe not, but Iāll politely decline. Be nice to your Middle. The guy who spanks out of anger has issues, itās far more effective when you spank with love. Weāre not saying to be light with us, we are Middles afterall, you better bring the heat. What Iām telling you is that there is truly nothing more terrifying than the calm and collected daddy who is very disappointed in you and plans to enforce the consequences of his rules. I dare you to speak calmly and softly to me. Whisper it my ear likes itās a secret that Iām about to get my ass beat and you donāt want the rest of the family to hear. Thatās way more powerful than the violent machismo daddy who wants to rip you in half with his schlong after he pulverizes your ass into dust. Thatās what gimps are for, and thatās not who most of us are.
4. Okay Marshall you told us what not to do, so whatās a good approach? You can briefly introduce yourself as a dom, but donāt go crazy. āHey there! I liked your profile. My name is Dildano. Iām a daddy/dom/whatever from Transylvania, and I play with diaperboys/littles/middles like you.ā Short and sweet. Letās me know that you first read my profile (praise be!), and secondly that you might be able to provide for my needs. Iām not creeped out by you yet. Excellent job. The very next thing you should do is ask your middle to tell you about himself. Find an interest, hobby, thing that he cares about and run with it. Even if youāre Googling it as he talks about it, learn something about that. You donāt have to lie to him, just show him that you care enough about him as an individual. Heās telling you about it because itās important to him. He gets joy in it, takes pride in it. By conversing with him about it, youāre already satisfying his first need as a Middle. That you care about him as a person. Anon kink sex is widely available. If youāre going to roleplay, you must demonstrate your ability to influence my mind first. Youāve got him talking, and youāre feeling good about it. From here you can ask him what he happens to be looking for. Try to let this be a natural flow conversation. From here expand based on cues that he provides you. Chances are high that he will mention that heās into spanking, but itās better if he brings it up. Thatās when you can start getting into the details about the what, how, how much, how often grit of it. Youāre always responding to him though. If he says āyeah I like OTK spankings with the handā, thatās not the time to say āoh cool hereās a picture of the razor strop Iām going to use on your ass.ā You just escalated it way outside of the scope of interest, and now heās wondering if youāll respect limits or if youāll enjoy yourself.Ā
5. You already have a Middle boy. Your relationship is going good, but you think heās been acting naughty lately, and could use some correction. Maybe this wasnāt a part of your play before, so how do you bring it up now? In this scenario, I would approach it with the idea that you want to start introducing rules into your play, that if broken had consequences that you followed through on with them. āLike what daddy?ā. Cool he didnāt shoot you down completely yet. āWell son, I saw you doing [insert naughty bratty thing here], and I think that the next time that you do that you should get a spanking.ā At this point he will either look at you crazy and put his foot down as a limit, or heāll get a boner about it and decide to try it with you.Ā
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How do you spank your Middle?
This can be highly variable, and you are looking to tailor it to his needs and desires. Itās going to be different for every boy, and of course you will have different methods that you enjoy.Ā
Sensual spankings are going to be less common in roleplay. If all you are going to do is āslap slap fuckā thatās just rough sex. If your Middle is advising this, theyāre not really that into spanking play. They probably have a low tolerance for pain, and they are just doing it to humor you, or to simulate the act of it. If youāre just spanking over the pants, or the underwear, or the diaper, itās probably foreplay. If thatās what heās into, great go for it. All too often though, itās the dominant who is partial to these types of spanking and you leave us super disappointed because we think weāre about to get something else.Ā
Thereās been times I laughed at a dom for spanking me like that. Iāve left early a few times because they couldnāt do it for me. Iāve had sessions where I started out as the boy and half-way through ended up becoming the spanker instead. This isnāt the response you want from your Middle. Donāt tip toe with us. Be direct. Be firm. No cute implements that came in your 50 Shades of Gay box kit. If I see some pink fuzzy handcuffs and a daddyās first crop, Iām out.Ā
The most common type of spanking that your Middle is going to want, is going to be the Dad / Son spanking scenario. For this youāre going to want to have a rule that was broken. Middles are very verbally oriented. Give us the speech. Explain what the rule was, explain how we broke the rule, explain what the consequences are for the rule. Then youāre going to make me repeat it back to you. Your Middles hate that in the best way. āYou told me to be home at 10pm. I didnāt get home until 2am. And now Iām going to get a spanking.ā Once your boy has verbalized it, his headspace game just increased tenfold. Having to acknowledge our wrongs and then say out loud some childish punishment? Yes please sign me up.Ā
How you establish rules is between you and your boy. Thereās two ways that this can happen. You can set up a rule thatās specific to a goal. You and your boy are trying to improve X behavior or achieve X thing. He doesnāt meet his goal, you set up a time to spank him for it. Alternatively, you set up rules that he can break in your presence. Thatās how I like to do it. Did you say donāt wet your pants? Iāll literally stand in front of you in my briefs with a smile on my face flooding them. Your move daddy.Ā Ā
For most boys, this is going to be a bare-assed spanking. Professional tip. Play diapers can slide right on down to the ankles, and be hoisted right back up again. You donāt have to wait until changes, or mess with the tapes. Just pull it on down. Being commanded to remove your clothes, is not nearly as fun as having daddy do it for you. I want you to tell me to lift my arms above my head while you pull my shirt off. I want to feel you unbuckle my belt, and struggle to pull my pants down around my now raging hard cock. Take your time. The anticipation of waiting is an added bonus.Ā
Ā Implements are a tricky game for Middles. Not to insult your masculinity, but most of you guys have soft hands. Start there for sure. We like you to get your hands on our ass. Itās intimate, Itās up close and personal. Eventually though youāre going to have to work up to something bigger. There are certain implements of tradition designed to get your point across. The paddle, the belt, the strap, the switch, the hairbrush. If youāre a British daddy you almost certainly have a slipper or a cane in your collection. These are all good prospective choices for your Middle. Thatās going to hurt though right? Fuck yeah it is, and we want it to. Many prospective daddyās out there struggle with going all the way. Itās against your nature to cause harm, and weāre asking you to inflict physical pain on us. Change how you view it. Youāre not hurting us, youāre providing a service. Youāre giving us what weāre asking for. If your Middle says he wants to cry, but youāre checking in with him every time he yelps, youāre never going to get him there. Donāt ask me if Iām okay! Thatās what the safe-word is for. If things are going well, Iām going to be hurting a lot in just the right way. Am I okay? No. Do I want you to stop. No, we have a code word for that.Ā
If youāre going to use an implement make sure you know how to use it. A rookie mistake I see is guys who spank too high. This is dangerous. The kidneys sit up there right above your ass. Thatās a no-go zone. The top portion of the ass, particularly the portion near the tailbone, should be avoided. If youāre going to use a swinging implement, you better have good aim. Anticipate movement in your boy and adjust accordingly. If youāre going to use a wood implement, watch that tailbone, spank low. The meaty part of the ass near the bottom and that upper thigh area, thatās where youāre going. Basically at hole level on down. Flexible implements will provide a stinging pain, denser objects like wood will cause a heavier blunt pain that is more likely to result in bruising.Ā
There are two main theories on spanking. Does your boy want it hard and fast or do they want the slow methodical build up? In my opinion, if you opt for hard and fast, you better have me in a solid headspace first. If Iām not used to submitting to you, and you come at me full rapid fire paddle, Iām not going to last long. There is however, a point at which the long buildup can take too long and your boy kind of goes numb to it. Learn to recognize when you hit a lull and take a break. You can always come back to it after corner time. Giving the ass a break is a sign of excellent spankers. Send your boy to time out. Wait awhile, squeeze the cheeks a bit. Then return to the spanking. It will hurt much worse the second time. Trust me. Getting an experienced boy where they want to go is going to take some stamina. When youāre going for the build up, save the woods for last. Hairbrush makes a great closer. Theyāre heavy enough to bring the pain, but light enough to avoid the dull. If your lexan paddle is thick enough, it will also happily serve this purpose.Ā
Belts, and straps, your swinging implements are popular, but much less personal. It puts a greater distance between you and your boy. This makes it difficult to hold back resistance, or to establish intimacy. Starting by hand gives you a chance to connect a bit first. Make sure you properly care for your leather. Oil it up once in a while. Especially your straps. Make sure your belt is of a reasonable thickness. Donāt come at me with your casual happy hour belt from Dillards okay? My ass will be laughing at you. Youāre either a really good belt spanker, or a really terrible one. Iāve found no in between. There are a ton of Middles out there who are looking for a quality belting.Ā
Donāt bring unnatural implements to roleplay with your Middle. Cutting my own switch? Very reminiscent. Getting the belt? Very common. Household objects are what youāre going for mostly. If you show up with a cat-o-nine tails, Iām not a Middle anymore, suddenly Iām an 18th century sailor and thatās not cute. Does your implement pass the football coach / dad test? Or is it fucking creepy?Ā
I follow a rule of three. You can choose three items to spank me with, and after that loses its luster. After that it becomes completely inorganic. Lay a few out and make your boy choose. That can be a fun pre-spank apprehension building tool. Just donāt bring your entire box of spanking instruments. Dad/Son spanking, not letās try out the whole wall of the dungeon spanking.Ā
Ultimately, spank your Middle like you mean it. You can proceed with us like we know the ritual. There is most likely going to be a power struggle. Your Middle will likely try to bargain or negotiate with you. Theyāll protest greatly. āDo I have to? Canāt I just _____ instead? Iām too old for thisā. This is where that verbal play becomes super important. Weāre not going to like corner time either. It seems beneath us. Make sure you explain why itās necessary.Ā Ā
The typical Middle spanking is going to leave a deep red ass that typically lasts the rest of the day. If your boy isnāt struggling or shouting out, you havenāt arrived yet. By nature of being a Middle, weāre going to try to outlast you. Weāre going to try to be tough about it. You have to break us of that. It doesnāt necessarily mean you need to spank ridiculously hard or more aggressively. Consistency of swats with some space in between does wonders. Alternate between fast and slow. Put some arm into the swing from time to time. Middles are typically not going to put on a show, unless you take them there. My reactions are genuine. If you see tears in my eyes, theyāre real. If I yell out, itās real. If Iām struggling with you, itās real. If Iām not doing any of those things, Iām just laying there and Iām probably disappointed. Make sure the reaction youāre getting reflects the expectations to be had from it.Ā
Iāve also left sessions that were too heavy, too fast. Itās a spanking not a beating. Weāre looking for dad levels, not sadistic dungeon master levels. Itās like Goldilocks and her three ass whoopinās, this one is too hard, this one is too soft, this one is just right. The preliminary work up is important. Get your boy in the right headspace first. Play in other ways before you go for the big one. A few smaller spanks first for example.Ā
Avoid unnatural positions as well. Laying across the lap, great. Laying across the bed or bent over the bed or desk, great. Bend over a chair, or up against a wall, great. Laying out in a sex swing, not natural. Strapped down to a spanking bench, not natural. Alsoā¦ Upside down play is high risk. Certain positions like Wheelbarrow, OTK in some cases, and suspension techniques can be dangerous if your boyās head is down under him too long. Donāt engage in upside down play if youāre not an expert. Just ask yourself WWDD what would dad do?Ā
Be cognizant of the color of the ass. Reds tend to be okay, but the purples, blues, and blacks are signs of bruising. Never draw blood. Avoid repetitious sessions that form welts. If it starts to look too bad, end the session even if the boy hasnāt reached their goal yet. Give them a chance to inspect the condition and decide if they are comfortable with continuing, or if you are for that matter. Also, if youāre going to use judicial implements like cane, tawse, rattan, or prison strap, you better be an expert and so should your boy. These are not for the faint of heart andĀ in the wrong hands these can leave scarring marks. When your boy is horny he might say he wants that, he doesnāt really want it, donāt do that. Iāve got a nice little memento on my ass from a time I went too far. You probably wouldnāt notice it, but I know itās there and itās regrettable.Ā Ā
When youāve finished the spanking you should give the lecture again, and make the boy explain what they are remorseful for and obtain a promise that they will refrain from doing it again in the future. If they refuse to do this or very obviously screw that up, or have an attitude about this, theyāre still playing with you and want you to realize they have not learned their lesson and you should keep going. Weāll drop subtle clues like that. If youāre a counter, Iāll miscount on purpose just to start over. Pay attention to his words, expressions, and body language. Donāt forget to be verbal during the spanking as the spanker. Describe your disbelief at how poorly behaved I am and how I need to follow whatever rule that was.Ā
It should also be noted that when someone says they want a disciplinary spanking, or a biblical spanking, that there are certain additional rituals that accompany this process.Ā
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Middles need their space. Corner time after helps. Itās a bit juvenile, but after his spanking heās not going to want to hug you like a Little might. Heāll probably be a bit resentful and hateful towards you for a while after. Let him work it out on his own. Donāt be over there reassuring your Middle itās going to be okay, or comfort them. We know we were bad and that we messed up, let us self-regulate and reflect on our behavior. Totally different from your aftercare for Littles.Ā
If you just have to do something, consider a firm handshake from your Middle, or a quick bro-hug. This is not a hold me, cuddle me situation. Just pull my pants back up and send me to the corner.Ā
You might need to leave the room and just let him have his moment to cry it out. Maybe send him to bed early and let him come down to you when heās ready. Consider this distancing high praise of a job well done. At the conclusion of timeout, let him decide when he is ready to come back to you.Ā Ā
Itās also likely that your boy will not be hard, when his spanking is over. Itās okay. It doesnāt mean he didnāt fucking love it. Itās just a physiological response. Heāll get it back soon enough, donāt worry. If your plan is to have sex after, give it time. If I get spanked the way I wanted to, itās going to be at least an hour before Iām ready. Donāt worry though, if you did it right, my ass will still be plenty burning when we get to that point.Ā
My typical recovery time from a quality spanking is 3 days. Therefore, in any given weekend you probably get one good session with a middle. You can have smaller sessions of course. Just donāt expect to be going for the gold every day, itās just not going to happen.Ā
If you see that purple, black, or white surface, youāre looking at bruising. After youāve exploded a mountain of cum and been brought back to your senses, you might want to put some ice on it to bring the swelling down. Or if youāre like me, you just let it happen because the constant reminder for days gets you hard!Ā
Lastly, itās common for Middles to want to show off their marks to their friends. āLook what I got from coachā or ālook what my dad did when I got homeā. Let them have their fun with it, and offer to take pictures for them. Not saying we get spanked for the Instagram likes, but itās sort of a male bonding ritual for your gay Middles.Ā
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Thatās my two-cents anyway. As always stay safe, stay sane, stay consensual, and never fuck a guy whoās in a hurry. If heās worth it, heāll wait for it.
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