Arachnophobes, Beware!

[popcornhorns]

WELCOME!!

 This is an ask blog for @aurochsent‘s Homestuck Fantrolls. Check the ask games tag for suggestions on what to ask! Or, send in whatever you want.

ACTIVE MODIFIERS: None

TROLL ROLL:

Ohnyxx Baegon (they/them) An indigoblood living in mysterious circumstances. [blog]

Hyptio Pardox (she/her!) A very enthusiastic.... limeblood? Who is just SO SO SO EXCITED TO BE HERE!!!!!!! :D And cannot WAIT to make new friends, and learn all about the world, and YOU!!!

Kobalt Lividu (he/him) A refined, powerful, and intense individual of a bluer class. Kobalt is a skilled hunter, and well respected in his circles. You are wise to seek enrichment to your life from this troll.

....or any character that you know has a typing quirk!

[Detailed character pages here.]

hot tip: if you think a character isn't telling us everything, you can reply or tag a post with [PRESS] to try and get more information!

[popcornhorns]

19. How would an enemy describe this oc? Hyptio

"Who?"

[popcornhorns]

11. Does your oc have any interests/hobbies that they hide from everyone? Why do they hide these interests? Ohnyxx

[You happen unexpectedly upon a door. It looks old.]

[....]

Would you like to come in?

>[GO IN?] [LEAVE?]

[popcornhorns]

UGH

[popcornhorns]

it was funny the first time but this is just getting sad

[popcornhorns]

UGH

[popcornhorns]

☁️ kobalt

☁️ What’s something your OC wishes they could forget? Why is this? Or, what is something that your OC has forgotten? (or do both!)

KOBALT: What act mîght Î have ever performed, which Î should not look back upon fondly and wîth prîde?

KOBALT: Î have no such shame.

[popcornhorns]

KOBALT: W- Why, you-

KOBALT: (Rrgh...)

KOBALT: Hear me and heed my words now, îmbecîle. Cease dîsgracing my eyes wîth your dry-hatched conduct. Î'll not entertaîn you any longer.

KOBALT: Î'll do as Î should have done hours ago, and înstead entertaîn myself.

[Kobalt single-handedly lifts one of the large spears out of the display on his wall. His muscles ripple underneath his turtleneck sweater.]

KOBALT: Î wîll allow you a fîve second head start.

KOBALT: Fîve.

KOBALT: Four.

KOBALT: Thr[--]

[ERROR: No return]

[RETRYING...]

[ERROR: No anchor destination]

[REDIRECTING...]

[connectDestination:Anchor119]

??????: --and I do not do appearances on "internet videos".×⚟ ⌖) And don't test me by even daring to mention a fuc- a follower count.×⚟ ⌖) I am an officer of the great and righteous law of the empire.×⚟ I work in the name of honoring whatever fearsome grace Her Imperious Condescension would bother to touch our small lives with. ⌖) I'll have to have a word with those slackoffs out there if they think-

[You hand her the FORMAL LETTER.]

??????: ⌖)h. ×⚟

??????: ⌖) Well. You should have mentioned that you had an official waiver. ×⚟ ⌖) What does this say...? ×⚟

??????: ⌖) Yes, you have my permission to record. ×⚟ ⌖) Request for a statement on-

??????: ⌖) About who? ×⚟ ⌖) I don't even recognize this name. ×⚟ ⌖) Dyllan! ×⚟

[A voice calls back from the other room:]

DYLLAN: Yes ma'am?

??????: ⌖) Do I know a "Lividu"? Kobalt? ×⚟

[There is a loud choking sound, followed by coughing.]

??????: ⌖) Dyllan? ×⚟

DYLLAN: I- [cough] sorry. Yeah- uh, yes. Yes, I know that name.

??????: ⌖) Dyllan, pull yourself together. ×⚟ ⌖) This kind of conduct is unacceptable in the office environment, let alone in front of a guest. ×⚟

DYLLAN: Yes, of course, Acquisitor Emelin. My apologies. Anyways- I have the file for you here.

[Dyllan drops a thick file on the desk. It is heavy enough to rattle the surface.]

EMELIN: ⌖) ...

EMELIN: ⌖) Dyllan, what the hell is this? ×⚟

DYLLAN: This is your file on Kobalt Lividu, Acquisitor.

EMELIN: ⌖) I am not aware of the contents of this file, Dyllan. ×⚟

DYLLAN: ...

EMELIN: ⌖) Explain. ×⚟

DYLLAN: I... ahem. As you can see, I have received a number of missives from this troll over the last sweep and a half or so. You were alerted of the first, the second, the fifth, and the sixth. After four alerts, you wisely counseled that I should not attempt to alert you again about a matter so tedious and repetitive, and I recall your specification that you would rip the next blue-

EMELIN: ⌖) Unimportant. Move on. ×⚟

DYLLAN: Yes, Acquisitor.

DYLLAN: Of course, it is our policy to keep a record of any contact by parties who show discrete interest in a ranking member of our organization. As such, this file contains each letter that this troll has addressed to you, additional photocopies for our records and for redundancy, printouts of each e-mail received to and sent from this office concerning this individual, transcriptions of each palmhusk conversation-

EMELIN: ⌖) Enough. I get the picture. ×⚟

[She turns to you.]

EMELIN: ⌖) I'll give you my statement now. ×⚟ ⌖) Statement: I do not care about you. ×⚟ ⌖) You are a nuisance. ×⚟ ⌖) I'm not going to fuck you. ×⚟

EMELIN: ⌖) Now get out of my office. ×⚟

[aurochsent]

happy sunday fuckers, guess who's actually coming up with enough stuff to post like 5 paragraphs on a weekly basis. or 6 I guess. yeah whatever we all know no one's counting anymore. anyways we just thought everyone should see the magnificent bit of context we have for the events of cinna's post

for the other side: => KALRIN

tagged, of course, by @kalvin-brnine and tagging uhhhh dude idk anyone else on here who writes. @oriigami cmon jonny you're all I've got

----

“OKAY, GO!” Kalrin yells. They back away from you, pointing in a direction slightly left of the door. “RUN THAT WAY, DO NOT GET A CONCUSSION, FAKE FOR THE WOODS IF IT BLOCKS YOU, AND DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU ARE OFF THE CLIFF! WHEN IN DOUBT KEEP MOVING!”

You are already moving by the time Kalrin says “run”. 

This turns out to be a mistake. 

The first thing that you do is the first thing you always do when you are running from a threat to your life: as soon as the door is open, you kick off from the ground with force just shy of denting the floorboards, aiming to fling yourself over the edge of the porch and into open air where you can maneuver freely. 

In the execution of this move, you fail to account for many things. 

You lunge forward. The ball of your foot presses into the floor, and you realize that the level of strength is different - you have to push a little harder. You adjust, eyes narrowing, feeling for the moment of satisfaction where you are balanced perfectly on that one point, every ounce of pressure focused such that it will propel you cleanly in one direction. You feel it build; you aim through the open door to the bird-free side, launch yourself with all your strength, and slam right through the porch rail with all the grace of a cannonball. 

In the instant that follows, you realize that you are a massive dumbass. That might sting more than the shower of wood splinters following you down. You have no idea when the last time you got flung through solid wood was. You cannot even tell if it scraped against you hard enough to matter. You also have no time to worry about it before you remember that you did achieve your dumbass goal, and now you are freefalling through open air with only a few feet left to go.

It is as if in slow motion that you, twisting Kalrin’s upper body around in a desperate attempt to control how you land, see the precise moment when the Phoenix locks its eyes onto you. 

Then you hit the ground. 

….

….

….

Awareness comes back in like a smash cut from a black screen. 

You wake up with your eyes already open. Everything hurts. The sky is wide, feathery white, dipping and folding and wavering above you. There is a siren-wail in the air that is making your ears ring even through the unbelievable pressure in them. Searing pain rips through every part of you, blistering and boiling and you feel like your skin is splitting open, like the strands of your muscles will wither and snap from the heat. Your skin feels like it is on fire. Your ribcage feels like it is burning up from the inside out. Your head feels like it has been split open and set on fire. 

It occurs to you that your head actually was split open, and most of you is currently on fire. 

The smell of the smoke and the crackling sound of flame finally fades in around you. It occurs to you that you have lit everything that you landed on, on fire. Something glossy and sharp flashes into your field of view. You successfully identify it as the beak of the phoenix, parted just barely for the release of a seemingly-never-ending scream. It tilts its head to eye your supine form.

Oh gods, you are so fucked. 

[aurochsent]

alright well it's sunday and the sixes are coming for us. and we actually have stuff going on due to all the permitting joy and whimsy we've been doing lately, so we may as well, right.

tagged in by @kalvin-brnine; tagging in @bigfootswashingmachine and @oriigami even though it is late enough that it might already be monday for everyone else. here's this scrap of self indulgence

------------------------------------------------

Waking up slowly is nice, you think. And strange. 

You are used to jolting awake on a dry mattress with your heart already pounding and your breath coming fast. You are used to perfectly lukewarm air and thin blankets tangled around your waist, as if you had desperately needed your arms and legs freed. You are used to finding yourself grasping for something unidentifiable, which is never there.

It's different here. You are comfortable, even in the discomfort of having fallen asleep at all the wrong angles. There is a warmth curled up against your body. You hum low in your throat and press your face against their shoulder. You feel fingertips squeeze lightly on your arm, and the hum breaks into a purr. It’s nice. There are no blankets - you never need them when Kalrin is around.

You feel the moment that you shift from being unconscious to realizing that you are conscious. You know exactly where you are, suddenly; everything around you flows into place, reality orienting itself. 

This is Kalrin’s house. You are with them on their couch. You know the smell of it. You must have fallen asleep here somehow. The faint scent of flat soda augments the air, drifting up from the bottle you left standing on the floor. Alternix’s weak sunlight brushes warmth onto your arms through a crack in the curtains. You are not sure when you took your hoodie off, but you kind of like it right now. You can feel their hands on your arms better, and the texture of their hoodie under your fingers….

No. Wait. Hold on. 

You frown. You try to keep your eyes closed. You have a feeling that opening them will make you horribly dizzy somehow. You feel long hair on the back of your neck and over your face. You feel Kalrin, it must be Kalrin, stir and sit up from where they were laying on top of you. 

“OHNYXX,” croaks a voice, and you can feel the vertigo coming for you. It is the one voice that you know better than any other voice in all of existence, and the one voice that you never expected to hear like this. 

“OHNYXX I BELIEVE THAT YOU FORGOT TO SET THE FREAKY FRIDAY ALARM,” your own voice shouts in your ear. "AND IT HAS COME TO COLLECT ON OUR ASSES."

[popcornhorns]

1. What’s your oc’s most irrational fear? Is there a specific reason this fear came about? Kobalt

KOBALT: ...

KOBALT: Are you, perhaps, sufferîng from an abundance of earwax?

[popcornhorns]

☁️ kobalt

☁️ What’s something your OC wishes they could forget? Why is this? Or, what is something that your OC has forgotten? (or do both!)

KOBALT: What act mîght Î have ever performed, which Î should not look back upon fondly and wîth prîde?

KOBALT: Î have no such shame.

[thepig]

would ur ocs have fun at disneyland

yes

no

Voting ended onMay 20, 2023

[popcornhorns]

pour one out for my tags I'm just putting all the screenshots under the cut bc it's too good to lose

[popcornhorns]

☕ hyptio

☕ Give us one (or more if you feel like it) of your OCs deep dark secrets! Why do they keep it hidden? Spill the tea!

HYPTIO: SHARING SECRETS LIKE IF WE WERE FRIENDS AT A SLEEPOVER?????????? OOOOOOHHH I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK EVER EVER ok ok ok ok ok ok ok. ok!!!!! ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HYPTIO: ok a secret!!! ill tell you a secret hehe

HYPTIO: a secret that you dont know... hmmmmmm............!!!

HYPTIO: hehehe!!

HYPTIO: sooooooo DID YOU KNOW

HYPTIO: that actually..........

HYPTIO: my eyes were fake all along! see?

[A figure in the darkness rubs its face.]

HYPTIO: haha i bet i had you FOOLED!!!

HYPTIO: hehehehehehehehehehehehe...

HYPTIO: heehee!!

HYPTIO: ...

HYPTIO: oh no but dont tell ohnyxx i told you that.

HYPTIO: they will FLIP.

HYPTIO: and then probably get really mad if you applaud!!!!

[popcornhorns]

25. How does your oc handle sadness? Ohnyxx

[Static, crackling loudly.]

??????: hhf. hh

[Wood creaks. The sound continues into a long, high note, more like a scream.]

[SNAP.]

???̶̧̞̠̝̲̻̫̗̲͍͇̺̆͑̄͌͆͗̑͆͐̌̕͠͝?̶̨̛̼͖̻͙͌͛́̑́̐̎̎̾͗̍̐̕̚͠??: ̵͙̪͈͓̗̼̩͒̑̄̏̃̀̂͑͗̽͐̒̐̔̆͛(̶̣̤͙̻̯̱̤̬́̾̆̃̑͂̄̍̂͆͝ą̵̣͇̤̝̦̟̫̗̏̓̕s̴̼͈̞̥̼̼̳͓̰̳̩̗̥͖͓͉̍̄͑̒̓͜͝t̸̝̳̚ǭ̷̨̨̰͇̪̻͖̮̣̟̣̤̣̦̯́̈́̾̒̈́̍̎͛̂̓̿̔̕͝͠p̸̨͖͇̘͇̥̝̞̹͕̞̫̟̪̬̜͛́̾̒̂͜r̷̨͕̣̪̹̣͚̠͐̿̎̄͌̅̃̔̊͝͝͝ͅy̴͇̆̀̓̋̒̃̈́̕̚͝ǫ̸̡͍̰͔͉̩̖̻̱͎̻̥̩̱͈̒̔̐̌̇̎̔̒͂͐͆͝ͅu̸̡̲̜̞̬͑n̵̤̘͂̇̀͆͆̈́̂̈́͛̒̃̉̕͝͠d̷̢͙̥̗͈̫̬͉̬̑̉͑̍̓͑̚͜o̶͍̫̞̯̤͇̳̫̳͉͇̎̿̄̄̈́͗͑̒̒͗͂͜͜͝͠o̶̭̥̤̥̞͇̓͛̋͌̄r̶̡̻̣͖̠̝̮̲̩͔͚͙͚͖̹͕̎̑̐́͗̀͑̔͑́̎͛̉̚ĭ̸̥̥̗̰̙͉̱͖̠̳̰͈̰̾̿̀̄̓͒̏͋͊̈́͌̀̕̚͜͝p̷̡̡̨̠̤̳̲̱̻͙͎͎̜͍̹̋͌͌̊͌̈̐̊̚i̸̡̪̩̳͌̈́̾̅̉͆̀͑̑̀̚̕͘͠c̷̲̫̬͚̥͓̜͚͚̩̜̪͋͗̚̕͜ͅk̷̡̛͈̩̙̟̆̀̾̈́̃̆̈́͌̂̆̅͐̉͐̚̕į̴̧͉̣̘͓̜̫̫͋͗̍͛̇̐̃̐͠ͅl̶͖̖̘̟͇̘̙̤̫̊̂̑̒l̴̢̡͖̲̦̙̗̠̬̱̦̣̪̟͊̈̆̂̚͝i̵̡͎͇̼̊̊̋͛̒̿͝ͅn̵̺̫̐̀̽̔̿̇̅̂͐̀͝g̸̛̝̫̗̤̳̹̫͚͒̆̆ę̸̜͓̭̞̬̘̳͒́̇͑̽͑̐̍̿͑̿̾̀͘̚ȑ̶̛͔͔͑̋͑̂̅̏́̈̎͗̽͝͠a̶̙̹͖̋͂̽̎͗̈́̉͒ͅͅg̸̻̺̭̞̒̏̌̈̅͒̚͘ę̴̧̛̟̯͓͇̻̩͎̤̲͖͆̑͆́̑͆̑͗͗̈́͝n̷̢͍͓͎̭̊͑̀̓̎̈́̇́̓̎͒̈̿̊ͅd̶̡̧͈̩͇̞̤̝̥̖̝͕͇̦͎̒͋́́͛́ŕ̸̢̛̭͙̤̰͈̲͖͔̩̤̰͔͇̫͌à̷̧̢͍͖̥̰̤̤̭̲̹̽́͛̋̊̄̇̽͊̋̾͆ğ̶̰̼͙̱͇̝͕͚̮̰̘́̎͝ļ̸͚̦̗͓̩̭̗̗̩̫̗̺̇̎͜ạ̴͉̗͖̿̏̉͘s̸̛͖̠̳̍̔̑̎s̸̨̮̾̓͑̈́̆c̵͕͔̠̱͈̟̹͖̳͓͂̊̒̂̽̊͆̎̕͜ą̵̝͍̟̞͇̬̓́̎̓̏̽͝r̴̰͈̮̮͊̾̆̆̓̀̀͗̇̚ȩ̸͔̦̹̔̌͆͂̊̋̉͋̑̚n̸̯͚͚̝̞͆́͋͛̈́̀̾̿ͅd̵̡͈͉̮͙̩͚̎̀̐̏̀̎̉̀̊̈́͐̀̽̅o̷͙̙͈͔̙͑̈͑̌̈́̈̈́́͌͛̚͘͘͠ǫ̶̜̣̜͍̪̳̠͙͈͕͚̩̀͑͌̈́̇̾̿̿͑̄͜͝͠ͅͅr̴͕͈̯̯͎̤̣̺̳̲̼̙͗̃͝ͅe̴̲̦̘̞̣̘͉̬̼̹͔͓͉̊̀a̵̢̢̧̱̲̳̻͓͔̰͕̽̇̐̉͛̒̌̕l̷̡̛̺͈̲̗̝͚̥̪̟͖̾̅̍͛͂̀̃̓̓̈́̂̑͌̋͆͝ȯ̷̧̹̣͙̤̭̹̬͎̱͚̘͆͗ͅͅů̶̳͍͖͉͎ḓ̵͓̆̈́̆̆̆̆͂͑̋̔̓̈́̿̔̚͠i̴̡͙͔̰̺̬̥͕͋̈́̐͌̿͗̂͌̑͌̇͊̀͘̚͠͝ṉ̶̦͉̺͂̚ģ̴̡͉̤̰̣̙̺̱͙̝̞͚̙̱̱̾͌͑͑́̅̀̌͌̕ŗ̸̰̹̱͇̖͓͎̕i̷̧̡̳̩̘̘͍̤̩͓͙̮̞͊͋̈́͆̈́̿̓͋̔̋̄̊̊͠p̴̡̢̜͍̮̪̲̠͎̝̼̖̿͊͛́̐͗͛̓͐̈̕͘͜͠͠)̸̖͍̟̪̝̙̽̄̐

[Something fragile breaks.]

You .

??????:

W hy are y o u h h e r e ? ?

[Tapping.]

??????: taptaptap

The tapping: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap

The Tapping: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap...

[Faint scratching sound, like nails raking against wood.]

The Tapping: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap...

The Tapping: TaptaptaptapTAPTAP[--]

[ERROR: No return]

[RETRYING...]

[ERROR: No anchor destination]

[REDIRECTING...]

[REDIRECTING...]

[REDIRECTING....]

[popcornhorns]

☀️🌙 ohnyxx

☀️ What makes your OC genuinely happy? A person, an item, their hobby? Where is the place they’re happiest, or most at home? What is the happiest they’ve ever been?

🌙 If your OC could have one wish come true what would it be and why? Would there be consequences to this wish or would they regret it once they get what they want? What would they give in return for this wish to come true?

OHNYXX: ....

OHNYXX: serIously?

OHNYXX: m4n, I thought we were cool.

[They leave, shutting the door behind them.]

[STAY] ? [FOLLOW] ?

[popcornhorns]

[STAY] >[FOLLOW] >[GET BACK HERE]

[Something heavy thuds against the other side of the closed door.]

OHNYXX: (muffled) ow.

OHNYXX: ugh....

OHNYXX: (fuck w4s th4t for? lIke I'm re4lly gonn4 go out there 4nd spIll my guts now. Is th4t wh4t you w4nt, you pIece of shIt fuckIn-)

[The door begins to creak open.]

OHNYXX: w4It fuck no stop

[The handle rattles violently.]

OHNYXX: don't. don't. don't open th4t come on I w4sn't expectIng 4nyone It's 4 mess In here

OHNYXX: wh4t the fuck do you w4nt me to S4Y

OHNYXX: I thought I got the poInt 4cross just fIne, you know?? just w4lked 4w4y. dIdn't m4ke 4 whole bIg thIng out of It. tells you 4ll the ex4ct s4me shIt you'd hear If I told you In words. s4yIng nothIng Is fuckIng s4yIng nothIng, Isn't It?

[Faint crackling.]

OHNYXX?: ....

OHNYX?: fIne. fIne

O?NYXX: th4t's wh4t It Is, okay?

O?N?XX: I m4de my wIsh already.

O?N??X: so fuck the conse9uences

O????X: I got wh4t I w4nted. 4nd I'll be h4ppy when thIs Is over.

[popcornhorns]

☀️🌙 ohnyxx

☀️ What makes your OC genuinely happy? A person, an item, their hobby? Where is the place they’re happiest, or most at home? What is the happiest they’ve ever been?

🌙 If your OC could have one wish come true what would it be and why? Would there be consequences to this wish or would they regret it once they get what they want? What would they give in return for this wish to come true?

OHNYXX: ....

OHNYXX: serIously?

OHNYXX: m4n, I thought we were cool.

[They leave, shutting the door behind them.]

[STAY] ? [FOLLOW] ?

[popcornhorns]

📚 ohnyxx lmao

📚 If your OC was given some kind of forbiddon knowledge, what would they do with it? Would they tell anyone? Use it for evil or good? How would it change their outlook on life, if at all?

OHNYXX: oh, so It's lIke th4t, huh? very funny.

OHNYXX: It depends, doesn't It? I me4n, wh4t's the knowledge? why Is It forbIdden? 4re we t4lkIng recIpe for m4kIng 4tom bombs 4t home or 4re we t4lkIng the gr4nd hIghblood's element4ry schoolfeed crush? not 4ll knowledge Is forbIdden e9u4lly.

OHNYXX: why do you c4re? you w4nt my secrets or somethIng? most of them 4ren't th4t excItIng, I'll tell you now.

OHNYXX: or Is It th4t you have somethIng you w4nt to tell me?

[popcornhorns]

Hyptio: 👑 If your OC was made royal (or is royal) how would they use their power? Are they a good leader or bad? Do their subjects like them or is it ‘off with their head’? Do they enjoy being royal?

HYPTIO: royal... OOOOOOOOOH you mean if i was condesce???

HYPTIO: wow ive never thought about that before!!!

HYPTIO: well, i think i would be a MUCH better ~her imperial condescension~ than THAT old biddy!

HYPTIO: buuuuuuuut

HYPTIO: if i replaced her NOW i would still have to stay here. so i couldnt do anything with all my condescey power! and no one would even know i existed except you still. that would make my first act as condesce....... collapsing the entire empire by accident!!!

HYPTIO: i bet a lot of people would like me if i did that :)

HYPTIO: hehe, im never going to be royalty though!

HYPTIO: what im going to be is WAY better.

HYPTIO: you know, youve been really talkative lately! youre usually so quiet

HYPTIO: its a nice change!