The Kitten Tamer

Penelope "Poppet" Murray. Eighteen. Stargazer. Kitten Tamer. Employee of Le Cirque des Reves.

[thelovelybookworm]

I need a man that loves me, hem six inches deep in mud and all.

[lucianodorchaidhe]

ivory lines lead || quebec

[lucianodorchaidhe]

As the door opened, Lucian heard a sound like fire. Intense with heat and grit and pain, directed in some way toward him. This was not the sound of his close companion. This was spiteful and raw and in so many ways well-deserved. Before turning to face her, the man braced himself for the sight of her soaked to the skin, dripping with rain and fury. He did not have to guess whether or not she would be radiant, that much was a given. One hand steadied against the wall, the other holding close the small cat he’d been comforting he turned to face her.

Despite the effort he’d made to prepare himself, the sight of Penelope, hair all curls and beauty, standing in the doorway to the barn, knocked the wind out of him. He stammered, trying to say something that might make her stay despite everything, but breath would not come. He saw her turn away slightly, as if she were about to leave and suddenly it was too much for him. Lucian crossed the space between them in only a few strides. With a tender urgency, he grasped her hand and managed to gasp out, “Stay. Please.”

Against his better judgement, his eyes found hers, and he was lost. For over a month he’d tried to convince himself it was a fanciful thought, a brief encounter he’d somehow made out to be far more than it was. But now, gazing into her eyes, Lucian realized how ridiculous that had been. She was his gravity, what tethered him to earth. And now, if she’d let him, he would never let her leave again.

[poppet--murray]

A cat curled in Lucien’s arms, and as she had many times before, she wished to be one. This time it was different, though. This was not a longing for freedom, for the sleek feline grace she could not capture; this was a longing to be held, and indeed to be held by Lucian, to be curled up safe and warm.

He had been caught by surprise, but how could he have been? Hadn’t he had to have known she would come here? Where else but to the cats would the kitten tamer have come? Where else would the animal tamer have gone? She had been caught by surprise, but how could she have been?

She had made a mistake and she knew it. She had let herself become tangled in only the idea of him for these past weeks and now here he was. With great difficultly she began climb from the web he’d woven for her in his gaze. She had only to leave and everything might be alright again. 

But he took her by the hand and suddenly tension she had not noticed her body building released itself. Her shoulders dropped, she exhaled, her lips parted and her face softened. She held his hand in hers as tight and she could and turned over her shoulder to face him.  “Why?”

[lucianodorchaidhe]

ivory lines lead || quebec

The past few weeks had not been kind to Lucian. Since Poppet’s departure from his train car in Calcutta, sleep evaded him more than usual. What little rest he managed was accompanied by fitful dreams; he dwelled on her parting words as they shuttled around in his head. 

Having grown up in an abbey with little company but monks and animals, Lucian was of the more religious of his peers in the circus. Though it was a sanctuary in its own right, a monument to the spirit of something greater than any one of them could understand, it did not carry with it the weight of damnation for a majority of its patrons. He’d seen a certain fear in the eyes of the illusionist that made him question his claims, but nothing like the wrath of Catholicism impressed on him by the nuns in his childhood. 

Lucian had known in the moments before making the decision to ask her to leave that an element of suffering would be involved. That as much was clear from the stabbing ache in his chest as Poppet expressed her own hurt. The guilt of it all was only assuaged with his conviction that an absence of him in her life was an evasion of further hurt; that though nothing could be more painful than having her in his life, the possibility that consequences from his contemptible past could drag her into their depths was—at least in his mind—a more abhorrent outcome.

The events in Sicily had only further cemented this belief. Lucian reconciled the torture of seeing her with the knowledge that an absence of him in her life made her safer. That his love for her was grounded in denying himself of her presence.

Here in Quebec, the chilly air was a welcome respite. They were greeted by a spectacular thunderstorm on their first night; the pop and crackle of the lightning reminding Lucian of the lights of the circus. He had always felt more at place in the rain, its reputation for grimness a respite from the oppressive heat and cheer of sunshine. He did not look so out of place here, taking refuge in an overcoat and thick scarf.

Sure that the gloom and the rain would keep the bright young girl he so admired indoors, the animal trainer took this time to visit his charges and soothe those upset by the storm. Inside, the hay was warm and the musk of the animals put Lucian at ease. He could not offend here. The door creaked open and he thought nothing of it, assuming it was one of the cats, come in from the wet or Ciara—who’d been scarce since the thunder had started—come to keep him company

[poppet--murray]

Poppet felt badly for what she had said to Lucian--truly she did. She was both Irish and Catholic in name if not in practise. He was as well, she knew, but she knew little else. 

 Try as she might, she could not bring herself to regret the sentiment behind the words. Perhaps she did not wish hell upon him, but pain, surely. Suffering, even, if she was being honest. 

 There had been something in the way he pushed her away that felt like betrayal. Something in the way he had held her only moments before that felt like dishonesty. Something in his kiss that felt like love. 

 And since Calcutta she had been moody. Now in Quebec, the weather matched her mood. 

 Her orange-red brows stayed furrowed like stormclouds on her face. Her small pink lips pursed like lightningbolts.

 So the rain came as a welcome respite. As the clouds spilled their contents, so did her eyes. As the wind wailed, so did she. 

 But when she left her car to walk outside, she grew too cold too quickly. She meant to hide from the rain and from those who would not dare venture out into it with the animals, but found a man with a cold heart instead of cats with warm bodies. She would have left if she had not gasped--a horrible, beastly sound she could not have replicated if she tried--in a strange combination of anger, pain, and fury.

[poppet--murray]

A Distraction || Poppet and Lucian

[lucianodorchaidhe]

The thought of opening himself up after so many years of solitude was something he couldn’t fathom. There was a part, he didn’t know how strong this part might be, that wanted to lock up any and all sorts of feeling he possessed so that he may never have to deal with them again. Lucian had been on his own for over thirty years; he had adjusted to that sort of life as well as anyone ever could. He didn’t want to hurt Poppet, but there was no way to move from this point that didn’t involve some sort of heartbreak on her end.

Lucian looked at the girl before him, sun peeking through the curtains to glint off her red hair. She was so beautiful. It almost surprised him that he’d never noticed before today, but then he wasn’t much for noticing anything these days. While he wanted nothing more than to pull shut the door and kiss her till the stars shone brighter, the sensible part of his brain pushed that notion off the table.

There was a strange feeling growing in the chest of the animal trainer as the girl standing across from him admonished him for apologizing. It was a rare moment when someone made him feel sheepish for asking forgiveness. Though he tried his best not to, a small smile escaped the corners of his mouth.

She was shaking her head, telling him not to feel sorry for their kiss. It didn’t matter what she said, he knew that, no matter what, he would never feel sorry for kissing her, even if he wished otherwise. Because of course, regret would make all of this easier, he wouldn’t hate himself quite so much for falling so hard over a cup of tea that he was kissing a girl young enough to… no. He wouldn’t go there. Not now. Not with her still in the room.

Poppet held his hands held in hers, their dainty form dwarfed by his, rough from work and calloused from ropes pulled and shovels held. Her eyes were on his again, drawing him back in. Lucian heard her and believed it was the truth. He knew the implications of what she was saying and what what at stake if she let things continue the way they were headed. Slowly, and with great effort on his part, he pulled away from her. He grabbed the gloves that had come off at some point during the conversation and handed them to Poppet. 

“I think…” he swallowed, the words thick in his throat. “I think it’s best… you shouldn’t be here. It was untoward of me to invite you in. I… wasn’t thinking.” Lucian couldn’t meet her eye. The very last thing he wanted to be doing was asking her to leave, but he was rather afraid of what might happen if he didn’t. While he couldn’t have cared less of his own reputation in the circus, he could not bear to tarnish Poppet’s. 

Once Poppet had left, Lucian pulled shut the door to his train car, a note he would not be performing tonight haphazardly posted outside of it. He lay in the oppressive Calcutta heat and let it envelop him. Ciara joined him on his bed as he let out a single pain-filled sob.

[poppet--murray]

She stood before him in something like fear, she was so nervous and so unsure. There was a lump in her throat that buried deeper into her. Her heart, her chest, her very soul. Her fair cheeks flushed red slowly, as though blooming. 

He smiled and she smiled back, so grateful and so reassured. She began to move toward him once again, ready to pick up where they had left off. Ready to hold him to her once more. To feel his lips against hers. The way he hesitated now reminded her of how he had paused so close to her earlier. They way everything was so still and yet shaking violently in the space between them. 

But this was not a mere hesitation--not a pause. This was an ending. It was a full stop. A period, not a comma. For while he had gravitated towards him, he wrenched himself way. While she craved contact, he handed her a barrier to put between the two of them. 

She had never known that her favorite pair of bright pink daytime gloves could hurt her so. She had never known that soft silk could cut like jagged glass. 

She took his dreadful offering and turned on her heel, determined to remain cold even in the Calcutta heat. Posture perfect and upper lip stiff, she walked to the door and did not look back. 

As she turned to shut the door, she saw his face and grew too much anger to contain. “You juggler,” she said, and though she meant to spit her words, instead they turned melancholy in her mouth. “You canker-blossom. Thief of love. What, have you come by night and stolen my heart from me?” 

She took a breath. Took a beat. “Go to hell, Lucian. Leave me and be damned.” 

[hplyrikz]

Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking and loving and dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true. The echo of words that have been spoken during the day takes on a new and deeper meaning.

Elie Wiesel, Dawn (via earthly-vibrations)

[charlotte-soames]

Bazaar Exploration | Charlotte and Poppet

[charlotte-soames]

“If you insist,” she replied even though a part of her was very pleased that she was being given permission to call the red headed girl by that name. She knew that last names were formal and meant as a sign of politeness, but after living so long without such rules being enforced, it had taken her ages to break out of the habit. “I’m afraid I’m not so much a performer as I am a food vendor though,” she admitted with a shy laugh. “I don’t have nearly enough coordination or talent for an act. I’d much prefer to cook.” 

She motioned to the basket which was an array of colour, hoping that it would explain or at least make some sense to the girl as to why her shopping basket was filled to the brim with things other than the beautiful sari’s and fabrics that lined the streets. “Have you been out exploring long?” she asked, changing the subject. “I’m afraid I’ve only spent time in here so I haven’t had any other chance to look around!” 

[poppet--murray]

Poppet smiled, "Oh, I know you!" she exclaimed. "You set up by my stage sometimes, don't you? It always smells so good but I'd have to loop around with a coat to avoid being seen as a performer and it'd be such a hassle but I keep meaning to try something..." she trailed off, noticing her rambling. 

"I've, um, I've looked around a little. Haven't bought much. I've got plenty of spare change now, but I think I still think a little like a street urchin and cringe at spending even a penny, but I can't seem to resist something pretty." Poppet laughed. 

[poppet--murray]

One day, after being rejected from a game even Widget's cries and her threats couldn't include her in, Poppet left, dejected to walk along the banks of the Thames. 

Whilst she sat and sulked at the edge of the river, she heard a small mewl coming from under some garbage. A curious girl, she couldn't help but dig through it. She sustained a small scar on her foot when she cut it on a bit of glass, but more importantly, she discovered a tiny, helpless kitten beneath the refuse. 

This was her first cat, Gaia, so named for the Titan from the myths she loved. Gaia, though ginger-haired like Poppet, keeps a place of honor in her car and in her heart. She credits Gaia for first interesting her in cats, and for her place in the Circus. 

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Friendship Station || Poppet and Sebastian

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

“I’m sorry, Poppet. That’s not how I meant to say anything. I’m teaching you, not scolding you. In no way have I ever considered you a child.” Sebastian furrowed his brows, wondering what it was she was getting so heated about. Normally, Poppet listened curiously to everything he was saying and soaked in the knowledge. Today was much different. It seemed she was on edge about something and he wasn’t sure what he did to trigger it. 

Bowing his head, he listened to her. Although, he didn’t know why she was so offended. Everything he’d said was not to demean her. There were distinct differences between big cats and her cats. “I’m not treating you as a child, I’m treating you as my protege. I didn’t mean for you to take offense. I truly believe in you and I believe you have the passion and talent to train big cats one day as well. Further more, I’ve always found your act enchanting, Poppet.” Biting his lip, Sebastian wasn’t used to giving compliments, but Poppet being his one and only friend in the circus he didn’t want to hurt her. “Small cats alike are not easy to train by any means either. Their very proper creatures, but they don’t generally like being told what to do. I understand you work hard and you’re good at what you do.”

He couldn’t argue with her when she talked about his tent moving, but him not really going anywhere. It was the truth. “You’re right.” He spoke quietly, as he tried his best not to get her any more angry. “I’m not even a shred better than you. If you wish to leave I wouldn’t stop you, but I am very sorry for offending you..” His voice was trailing off, part of him afraid to lose his one friend. He was sure she’d walk out right then, with how incredibly angry she was.

[poppet--murray]

Poppet sighed. "I'm sorry..." she muttered, reluctantly admitting fault. 

She sat again on the stool opposite Sebastian. "Sebastian, we're friends, aren't we? I mean...I know we're not...best friends or anything, but we are friends, right? And friends are meant to be allowed to speak candidly to one another, right?" Poppet inquired. She had very few friends aside from Widget, and always had. Even as a child, she'd run around the boys instead of sitting and coddling dolls with the girls, but they hadn't been terribly friendly to her, she was just too naive to tell the difference. 

"Seb, I'm awfully out of sorts lately. I feel as though my head is spinning all the time and I can't seem to stop it. Widge won't talk to me lately, he's always off, and I just don't know what to do." She looked to him, her brow furrowed, as something more than a teacher now because she had to. She had no confidant to speak of, and the events to late were weighing on her worse than the stars. 

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Friendship Station || Poppet and Sebastian

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Sebastian could tell there was something going on with Poppet. Her stance was odd, avoiding the question. But, he didn’t press it. It was not his business and he mostly just didn’t care to know. He watched her crawl over the fence to greet Kaur, who immediately showed affection. “Well, firstly, Kaur has been trained. She’s bitten me many times, even to this day. But wild cats can turn on you at any time, Poppet. You have to be careful and focused. Kaur is still young and her teeth wouldn’t harm you enough to do any permanent damage. But there’s a good reason you haven’t met with Avani yet. Or any of the older cats.”

Shaking his head, he knew there was a lot to teach Poppet. Even though Sebastian loved and treasured his wild cats, he knew that no matter how loving they could be, that there was a chance they’d do something awful. “I’ve seen men who have trained a big cat for years and could be affectionate with them, feel comfortable enough to keep them in their homes. One day, the cat turns around and latches onto the back of his head. He died.” Sebastian told her without hesitance. She had to be aware of the danger. “That’s why there is a threat. I love my cats, but I can’t trust them.”

It was difficult to hear a young girl telling Sebastian he needed to live his life. He was aware he didn’t do much, but he didn’t feel there was a purpose. Getting close to people never resulted in much. They’d leave and not come back, without a word of their absence. He didn’t want to bother. “We’re traveling the world now, aren’t we? I believe I’ve done more than most people.”

[poppet--murray]

Poppet stood, her face flushing almost immediately. "Don't treat me like a child," she snapped. "You're not my father, and you're not my husband, so you've no business treating me like I'm in any way below you." She climbed over the fence. 

"You're not even ten years my senior, Sebastian. I'm just as much a part of this circus as you are. I'm sick of being treated like I'm a child. You're no better than me and you know it." She shook her head angrily. She knew she was young, but that didn't have to mean she had nothing to offer, and she knew that in in her case it didn't. 

"And don't you talk to me about traveling the world, because you don't. Your tent travels, and the ground underneath it changes, but you never leave the safety of it." She may not have been the type to chase after cheap thrills, but she had never been the type to hide from life so completely as it appeared to her Sebastian did. 

"If you're just going to strut around like you're so much better than me, while you hide away in your tent like a scared child, I'll just take my cat back and leave, Sebastian. I've not obligation to you, and I'm doing just fine without you to condescend to me at every opportunity." 

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Friendship Station || Poppet and Sebastian

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

“Whatever you say, Miss Murray.” Sebastian responded, trying to hold back a smile. He tried to keep his face as hard and emotionless as possible, even as he was thoroughly amused by her reactions. “Asking you to train? I distinctly remember a young girl coming in here with a great compassion for cats and wanting to train large cats alike. I’m not here to teach you what to do with your own act, but for a long while you seemed much more eager. I’m only wondering if something has come along to distract you. I’m only trying to show concern, not chiding you, Poppet. Honest.”

Sebastian was beginning to feel a tad bad for getting into it with her, “I apologize. I know you’ve got your own act to focus on as well, I just don’t want you to forget what we’ve done so far. Kaur has missed you, I think.” He looked back at the cub who walked towards the fence, its nose high in the air as it recognized the kitten and plopped back down on the ground, curling up for a nap. 

“I’m just not so interested. Kittens aren’t a threat to me, not a challenge. While you grew up with kittens, I grew up with Avani. A tiger cub at the time and now she’s nearly loyal to me. Although, big cats can never be trusted.” Sebastian quieted to listen to her again, looking between the sleeping kitten and the cub. He knew there was not much difference, “One is a bigger version of the other, you’re right. But one is also more vicious than the other. Your cat bites you, you can repair it with a bandaid. My cat bites me I could get stitches, or worse. There’s a possibility even Avani would latch her teeth down on me.” He sighed, looking at the kitten in front of him and flicked his cigarette off to the ground, stomping on it to put out the fire and took the kitten from Poppet’s arms. 

The two of them stared into each other’s eyes. Eyes that were much more innocent than his cat’s eyes. Still, he could find himself able to relax around the kitten in his arms. It was unlike working with his pets, where he’d constantly have to be focused. “I’ll admit, this is a lot more relaxing.”

[poppet--murray]

Poppet avoided his gaze when he brought up distractions. She thought of Edmund and Liz and Lucian. She was still unsure of exactly where she stood with any of them, but she tried to push it away and focus on what she could control. Thinking about the three of them was dizzying, and she'd rather stay stagnant than lose control.

"Things don't have to be a threat to be interesting," she said in an attempt to change the subject. She stood and climbed over the low fence. "Anyway," she said, crouching down to pet the lion cub. He stood and butted his head into her knee affectionately. "I hardly see the threat here." 

She scratched behind Kaur's ears and looked up at Sebastian. "You really ought to get out of your tent more, life isn't all tigers and panthers, you know. There's a whole world out there, Seb." 

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Friendship Station || Poppet and Sebastian

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Sebastian shook his head at the cub, his heart skipping a beat as he heard a voice behind him. Quickly twisting his head around, he spotted Poppet with her wild red hair and a small kitten in her grasp. Sebastian laid his hand over his heart and tried to regain composure. “You shouldn't sneak up on people, Poppet. Especially a man that works with wild animals.” Sebastian narrowed his eyes at the girl. He turned his attention back to the cub, smoking his cigarette casually with his arms leaned over the fence. 

“I haven’t seen you in a couple days. What have you been doing?” He tilted his head to glance at her. The girl was so young, with eyes as wide as her passion to learn. Sebastian was only asking more personal questions because of his discussion with Kaur a moment before. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have bothered, but the purpose was only to bring up work again. “You know you have a lot of training to go through yet. I need you to be focused on what we’re doing here.”

Part of it was Sebastian’s fault, he’d forget that she was  young, but she wanted to do the work. Normally, she’d be extremely anxious to get to work with the big cats. She’d be running in and out of his tent all day. “And what’s this?” His eyes found the little kitten, tucked in Poppet’s little pouch that let out a soft mew. “You’ve purchased another one? Certainly, you’ll grow old with an abundance of cats.”

[poppet--murray]

Poppet shook her head. "I shall never have an abundance of cats, Sebastian. I shall never even have enough, I think."  She pulled a stood beside Sebastian and sat down before pulling the kitten from her pouch. The cat squirmed a bit as she settled into Poppet's cupped hands. "Look how small she is. She's perfect. I'm perfectly focused on her and on my cats. I told you when you asked me to train that I have my own act, Sebastian. You needn't chide me for not coming every day. My cats need just as much training as yours, maybe more so since they're really just babies. It's hard to keep babies in line," she pointed out. 

She transferred the cat to one hand and scratched behind her dominating ears with the other. "I think you ever gave them a chance, you'd like the kittens, too. You just brush them off like they're nothing, but look," she gestured toward the lion cub, who had just layed down, curled in a ball, then held her new kitten, curled in much the same position, out towards Sebastian. "Do you see? The biggest difference is their size. You'll train him with food and games, and I'll do the same for her." She paused, then held her hands and the cat out closer to him. "I think you should hold her. She's quite endearing." 

[visionofwanderlust-blog]

Friendship Station || Poppet and Sebastian

It’s a curious thing, training large cats. At times, Sebastian would forget that they’re vicious beasts and mistake them for friends. Even professionals would falter in many cases and Sebastian was no different. Seeing the small lion cub before him cuddle into him and play as though he was not the lion cub’s boss was one small thing that could put a smile upon Sebastian’s face. Still, being a merciless animal the cub was contained in a small fenced in area with just Sebastian.

There was still hours ahead until his block came up for the show and he’d already done his rounds and fed all his pets. He stood to the side and watched the cub roll around with a large tied rope to play with. The sun was only beginning to set and Sebastian was beginning to crave a bit of relaxation before getting back to work. Hopping over the gate, he made himself comfortable in a chair outside it, letting the cub continue to play around the fenced in area. Lighting up a cigarette, his eyes scanned the area. He forgot the last time he’d spoken to someone about anything other than work. When Sebastian thought about it more, he realized that he didn’t even have a single friend. Sure, there was Poppet, his prodigy, but she was simply that. Although, he did enjoy the time spent with her as she was the only human being that he had an excuse to talk to. Otherwise, he avoided people like the plague. 

His large blue eyes looked to the ground, his eyebrows furrowed as he got lost in thought. Truthfully, he was lonely, but he’d never admit it. Sebastian knew he’d never let anyone close enough to really be considered a friend. That’s when he moved his head towards the cage and locked eyes with the small creature. “What do you think, Kaur? Should I find a human friend for once?” Sebastian waited for an answer, even though he knew it was unfeasible. 

[poppet--murray]

Poppet tucked the small white kitten into a pouch she wore across her body as she set out. She'd picked up the kitten up from a breeder only a few hours ago. She was tiny, and she had the sweetest mewl Poppet had ever heard. Only a few hours with the cat and she was already as attached to this kitten as the ones she'd had since she joined the circus. 

She knew Sebastian never cared much about her kittens, often writing them off as silly and childish, but Poppet couldn't help but rush to her mentor whenever she received a new cat.

As she approached Sebastian's tent, she heard a voice from within. She didn't often bother with knocking any more, so she simply pushed the heavy flap of black and white fabric aside. "Talking to the cats again, Seb?" she joked lightly as she approached him. 

[charlotte-soames]

Bazaar Exploration | Charlotte and Poppet

[charlotte-soames]

She was so encompassed in her embarrassment and flurry of movement to help the fallen body that Charlotte barely recognized that it had been a fellow Circus member. Her ability to overwhelm herself with certain things had taken years for etiquette lessons to weed out of her, and while she had a restrain on it to a certain degree, in environments like this, it was increasingly difficult to remain composed. It reminded her of the first time she had attended the circus. It had been in London times before when she had been a child and still living at the orphanage, but really, they had no money then, and she and the others would simply skirt around the edges, only being able to dream about the wonders inside. When she finally had the chance, it had fulfilled all her greatest hopes and more. Her parents had been beside themselves trying to get her to walk instead of run (because ladies didn’t do the latter). 

There was no offense taken on her part, however, when Poppet didn’t take her hand. Charlotte had never been one after all to take great offense to anything unless it was explicitly rude to someone that she cared about, which was a habit that she had picked up living on the streets. Society dictated that the people living in it had to have some sort of thick skin to get by; it was surprisingly more vicious than one would have thought and Charlotte had been surprised by the fact when she had begun her lessons. So many dizzying do’s and don’t’s, a frightening amount of perhaps and perhaps not’s - the list was endless! And despite how her mind had taken to it, she had still managed to mix them up on occasion only to be met with strange looks. In this particular situation though, she beamed, a smile unfolding on her face, the previous embarrassment fading away.

“Oh! Oh, yes! I’m so, well, flattered that you recognize me at all,” she replied with a jolly, but obviously pleased smile. Because of her lack of exploration of the circus, many people still managed to become rather confused when she met them, but she always took it in stride. She happened to know Poppet through speaking with Widget, but she had never really spoken to the girl in person, although Charlotte hadn’t been quite sure what she would say to the girl besides praising her on her act. It wasn’t to say that she didn’t wish to get to know the other Murray sibling better, because she did, but it was simply because she just wasn’t entirely sure that the other girl would take any interest in her at all. And then she remembered her manners. Looping her hand through her wicker basket again, she held it out to the red headed young woman. “I’m Charlotte Soames. I’m so sorry about bumping into you earlier, I hadn’t looked where I was going and I’m just horrified that I upturned a fellow Circus member. You’re Pop - Miss Murray, aren’t you? I adore your show!”

She almost cringed. There she went, talking off people’s ears again. 

[poppet--murray]

Poppet smiled, pleased that this girl enjoyed her show. "You can call me Poppet, really. No need for formality from a fellow performer," she said, trying to sustain only a polite smile and not the proud grin she felt inside. In truth, she enjoyed compliments on her performance more than anything. Tell her her beauty was more radiant than the sun and her intelligence was greater than that of ten men, and she'd smile and thank you, but simply inform her that her show was so much as nice and she'd hold the compliment dear to her heart for months, and gain a a newfound spring in her step because of it. 

Though, to tell the truth, Poppet had very little idea who this Charlotte was. She'd seen her hanging around the Circus in all black and white, but she'd never seen her act, nor had she heard much about her, other than that Charlotte was another Londoner like a large portion of the performers. 

[poppet--murray]

A Distraction || Poppet and Lucian

[lucianodorchaidhe]

Lucian had only kissed one other woman, when he was a young man sailing with traders. She was the daughter of one of the patrons and it was a simple chaste kiss that never made the man envy the relationships of his peers. But as Poppet’s lips moved with his, and her fingers twisted and knotted in his hair, it was like one of the hundreds of shattered pieces fit back into its rightful place.

Suddenly very unsatisfied with the cumbersome tea table, Lucian stood, bringing her with him. Moving his hand to her waist, he pulled her closer to him, without the barriers of furniture between them. He was lost to her touch and the maddening way her fingernails dragged along his scalp. Deepening the kiss, he held her close until a soft breeze ruffled his hair. The door was still open.

A thousand thoughts raced through his head, and they all came to the same conclusion; despite the fact he felt as if he could do this forever, he didn’t feel it fair to the younger girl to drag her headfirst into his life. Because if they continued doing what they were doing, lips crashing together as beautifully and naturally as the waves upon the shore, then she would become an important fixture in the life of a man who could barely find his way to sleep at night, much less navigate matters of the heart.

And so with great regret, he broke the kiss. “Penelope…” he began, biting back the disquietude that grew with every second and looking into her eyes. It was there he saw a growing affection, a storm of absolute bliss and the acknowledgment of risk. To lose that, would be to cause damages far worse than an indecent action, and so he faltered as to how to proceed. “Penelope,” he began again, “I’m dreadfully sorry for my impetuous behaviour. I do hope you know this was not my intention when I invited you in for tea.”

Lucian was blushing madly, hoping she didn’t perceive regret in his words. While he knew that the moment she left his quarters, he would likely spiral into a mess of anxiety and confusion, torn between the fluttering she was inducing in his heart and the worry she would become just as weighted by his past as he was.

[poppet--murray]

Eyes closed and mind elsewhere than her feet, Poppet barely noticed as she felt herself being pulled up, but a small gasp escaped her lips as Lucian pulled him into her. Soon, she began to truly lose herself, and it was to her as if they were one being, linked in an infinite moment. 

But all too soon he pulled away, and she listened in confusion as he apologized.  "No..." she whispered, shaking her head. "No, Lucian, don't. Don't you dare apologize to me for a kiss, not now and not ever, for there shall never be a kiss from you that I am not grateful for. And I couldn't take if..." She was shaking her head again. 

She looked up him ardently, staring him down with a renewed passion, "I couldn't take it, Lucian, if you were ever sorry for a kiss from me." 

She dropped her hands from their spot on the back of his neck, and took his hands in hers, holding them tightly, her eye contact unwavering. "Do you hear me? Please," she begged, "hear me and know what I am telling you is the truth, Lucian, and nothing but it. Please." 

[poppet--murray]

A Distraction || Poppet and Lucian

[lucianodorchaidhe]

As much as his thoughts screamed at him to break the eye contact and pull away; to retreat back into his carefully constructed walls and push away the notions that were likely building in Penelope’s mind, there was another force that pushed back. When her lips parted as if she were about to say something, Lucian’s concentration was completely shattered. The space between them was lessening and whether she noticed it or not, he was hyperaware of the few inches separating their faces.

When she whispered his name it was like something inside him snapped. Rational thought dissipated with the slight breath that warmed his skin and the normal protocol that kept Lucian a perfect gentleman seemed to have short-circuited when she touched him. His name was still registering somewhere in his brain when he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips softly against hers.

Before he knew what was happening, his hands reached up to cup her cheek, pulling her a bit closer to him.

[poppet--murray]

The table was small, just big enough for the small tea service set before them, but any space, any separation from Lucian suddenly seemed too much for Poppet when he kissed her. 

A simple touching of the lips was enough for her. One small touch and she was already swept in up in a whirlwind, but when he touched her cheek and pulled her closer, it was as if she abruptly forgot everything she'd ever been taught.  She didn't remember to be shy and coy. She didn't remember to pull away, and leave him wanting more. She didn't remember that a lady didn't kiss a man, not ever. That a lady only let a man kiss her. 

She forgot, and because she forgot she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly over the table. Because she forgot, she knotted her fingers through his thick curls, holding him now in a way that said, I won't let go. 

[poppet--murray]

A Distraction || Poppet and Lucian

[lucianodorchaidhe]

The girl’s laughter cut off, and he noted a curious expression crossing her face. Sharply reminded of the reasons why he so rarely kept the company of others, Lucian tried to pinpoint exactly what he could have done to make her feel uncomfortable. There was of course his initial act of inviting her in for tea, something that could be perceived as a bit too forward. Their conversation had been rather innocent, if his brief comment was disregarded. She didn’t seem uncomfortable, or at least she hadn’t until the paths of their eyes had crossed. Lingered.

And that was precisely why Lucian avoided eye contact; truly they were windows into the soul. They opened up doors and revealed more than they ought. Even a brief glance could change a dynamic, shift the balance just enough so that everything was sorted in a different place.

Only briefly registering the sound of porcelain sliding across the table, Lucian was still shifting through his thoughts when he felt her touch under his chin. Where their skin met, electric currents sent rapid fire pulses to his brain, causing him to wince ever so slightly. It was involuntary, his general aversion to human contact habitually reacting, not registering that perhaps, he didn’t mind so much. Her hand moved away, but the sparks continued sending shockwaves through his skin.

He couldn’t pretend as if he’d never noticed her before. A pretty girl like that was entirely too hard to miss; but his hatred of judgment had always caused him to look at the less concrete aspects of her. Rather than the smooth curve of her jawline, he focused on her intensity towards the things she cared about; instead of noting the bell-like tones of her voice, he looked at her eagerness to learn. But as his face turned slowly upwards, he became rather aware of the perfect cupid’s bow her lips formed as she smiled. Pressing his lips together he glanced up once more at her eyes, trying to gauge her reactions.

[poppet--murray]

Poppet nearly let an apology slip from her lips as she noticed his pained expression, but soon his eyes met hers again the very thought of it seemed utterly ludicrous. The way he looked at her...as if she were all that existed, it made her feel as if the two of them in the  room were all that mattered Liz, Edmund, they didn't matter. They were as insignificant as the fleas she carefully combed from her cats each night.

Though she was not aware of it, she was slowly gravitating towards this strange, wonderful man, and she was gazing at him in much the same manner. Very soon, they were near enough to touch. much too near to be proper. "Lucian..." she breathed, her voice less than a whisper and intended for his ears alone.

[visionsofyves]